Aristotle Armstrong

Aristotle Armstrong
The thrawn, alternative voice of Scottish Rugby

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Could The Pro Sides' Success Kick-Start A Great Six Nations?

ALRIGHT class, settle down – we have a fair bit to get through today, so, listen carefully.

Now, we were all absolutely delighted by Glasgow's marvellous win over Leicester on Saturday, but, that was then – we are into a new week, with new challenges facing us. Not least among these is the imminent start to the 2017 Six Nations, and, as you all know, we've never won the damned thing.

Well, if the Scotland squad can channel their inner Warrior, who is to say this will not be out year. I realise, received wisdom has it that Scotland's best chance of winning the Six Nations is in the season when we have England and France at home. Well we were away to both the last time we won the Five Nations, so let's just ignore that old chestnut.

I am under no illusions as to how difficult it will be to win the damned thing this year – because, it's very hard to win it in any year. However, if a squad based on the club squad which has beaten Racing 92 and Leicester home and away does not believe, then that squad never will.

Scotland has improved markedly since Big Vern Cotter took over. Regardless of the politics which have conspired to see him finish his contract early, the players surely owe it to the big man to send him on his way to France victorious.

First up are Ireland, nearly everyone outside the Sudentenland's favourites for the title this season. Sure, they beat the All Blacks, and won well on the day. Of course they are dangerous, but, unbeatable, no way Jose. It used to be the Irish couldn't even win a penalty at Murrayfield; formidable though they are, we can get back to these days.

A win over the Irish can kick-start a very good campaign. If you can beat the team that beat the All Blacks, you need fear nobody. Wales are in severe decline, England are in disarray with injuries, and we are well past the time we won again at Twickenham, while with home advantage, we should surely beat Italy this year. That only leaves France. Well, you never know with France, but, even in Paris, they are beatable.

I like the look of our extended squad. I have just two quibbles – there is absolutely no way, even in a bad year, which this is gearing up not to be, that Simon Berghan is Scotland class. Good luck to the boy, but, he shouldn't be in there, Glasgow's Darcy Rae is a superior tight-head, and, Cornel Du Preez ahead of Magnus Bradbury – what is that all about?

Of course, both Berghan and Du Preez are “project players” - well, unless you are getting someone special such as Josh Strauss, or you are recruiting genuine, top-class Scotland-qualified talent such as John Hardie and Huw Jones, I'd forget about overseas recruitment and spend a bit more on bringing through young, Scottish talent – but, that argument is for another post.

Meanwhile, let's hope the squad has a good camp and we get off to a winning start on Saturday week.



JIMMY Hay's funeral in Glasgow on Friday was a true celebration of a great rugby character. Being Scotland team doctor for a spell in the 1990s was an enjoyable break from the reality of life as a consultant orthopaedic surgeon for wee Jimmy, an Honest Man of Ayr who always seemed to be smiling.

Jimmy had a good rugby life. He captained the legendary unbeaten Ayr Academy First XV of Mike Denness, Ian Ure and Ian McLauchlan. He played in the first Ayr Seven to win the club's tournament, they had to wait 22-years for a second win, by which time Jimmy's son Andy was playing, but, mainly he simply enjoyed playing. Never more-so than when in tandem with his equally laid-back brother-in-law Bill Mowat as a pair of half-backs who could have played tig wi a room full of monkeys and never been het.

Club ties was the order of the day and just about every club in Glasgow District, and a few from elsewhere were to be seen inside Sherbrooke St Gilbert's Church, alongside various medical faculty ties. The congregation included everyone from former Scotland captains and SRU Presidents down to guys who never got into their club's first team, all, touched in some way by Jimmy. Scottish rugby has lost one of the good guys.



IT IS still a quiet murmur, little more than a whisper, but, I get the feeling if Mr Dodderer, the Lesser-Spotted Johnston and the other High Heid Yins at BT Murrayfield do not do something, and quickly, the club game will rise in revolt.

The BT Premiership is, yet again this season, producing some pretty good quality rugby. OK, with two games still to play, we know three of the four teams in the end of season play-offs, but, below that, we have a ding-dong between Currie and Heriot's for the fourth spot, and a relegation battle which will go right to the wire.

Indeed, it might be that, on 18 February, Gala will host Boroughmuir in a winner-takes-all survival battle. The Braw Lads are in a braw pickle, however. There last two games are that one with Boroughmuir, preceded by another big game, at third-bottom Hawick – who's going to referee that one – Nigel Owens?

Mind you, the team that finishes second-bottom will still face the promotion/relegation play-off against the team which finishes second in National League One, which, as far as I can ascertain, has been a high-quality competition this season.

Peter Brown was at Jimmy Hays funeral, it was noticeable, he was wearing his Marr rather than his Gala tie, which might tell you something.



I LAVISHED praise, rightly, on Glasgow, at the start of this post. So I end it with further praise, for Edinburgh, who have topped their pool in the European Challenge Cup and consequently have a home quarter-final.

Yes, the capital side is still, at times, guilty of inconsistency, but, they beat Harlequins home and away and thoroughly deserve to have qualified.

Two Scottish teams in the European finals, in Edinburgh – is this too-much to ask? It could happen though.

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Weegie Warriors Winning At Welford Road Would Be Wonderful

WELL, we ken noo; if Glasgow beats Leicester at Welford Road this weekend, they will have crashed through their glass ceiling and into the knock-out stages of the European Champions Cup.

It cannot be doubted, Gregor Townsend's squad has the talent and belief to win at an English ground where away victories have long been thin on the ground. The Tigers are in some disarray following the sacking of Richard Cokerill and Aaron Mauger's elevation to Honcho status. They have an injury list as long as the M1, but, it will still be very, very difficult for Glasgow to win there.

I think they can win I only hope the get a strong referee on the day, because Leicester will do everything in their power to prevent Glasgow from playing their entertaining front foot rugby. Munster managed to do this at Scotstoun on Saturday, but, I don't think, even with home advantage, this Leicester side is as good as Munster.

But, we are Scottish after all. The typically Scottish thing for Glasgow to do would be, having twice beaten Racing 92, and thrashed Leicester at Scotstoun, to stumble at this final fence and just fail of qualify. A scenario like Glasgow winning without a bonus point, but losing-out to a team which gains one would be about par for the course.

There, I've said it, let's hope I am, as so often, wrong.



I ONLY saw the highlights which BT Sport showed, of the Munster game at Scotstoun. I did have a laugh, however, at some of the “below the line” readers' comments on the Guardian website. The Guardian has a solid readership amongst Irish rugby fans, and they were livid at what many perceived as Glasgow “targetting” that awfy nice wee boay Conor Murray, with some late tackles and other allegedly nefarious Weegie tactics.

You have to laugh – there was me thinking our Irish friends got irony. To hear any Irish fan complaining about key men being targetted, about late hits and other unseemly practices gave me a laugh. Have they not been watching the four Irish sides in the Guinness PRO12 these many years, during which they have turned such foul play into an art form?

I suppose this helps explain where the Celtic Family's holier than thou attitude springs from – it's in the genes in Erin's green valleys.



I WAS covering Ayr v Boroughmuir, when the BT Premiership came out of festive hibernation on Saturday. And, after 12 minutes, with Ayr 21-0 up, I thought I would be chronicling a record score. Indeed, had Boroughmuir not taken the very brave decision to back-off and not engage as Ayr tried to rumble a maul forward off a five-metre line-out, I fear the flood gates would have burst asunder on them.

Whoever made that call had cojones. Ayr got done for truck and trailer and the pressure was relieved. This gave 'Muir new belief and the remainder of the match was a much-closer affair. Take away the first ten minutes of so, and, over the remaining 70, the score was 21-19 to Ayr, AND, 'Muir might have had two more tries. Ayr also gave away twice as many penalties as 'Muir as they battled to contain them. It was a lot closer than the eventual 42-19 scoreline might appear.

One cub reporter at the game had it down as “one-sided” and was very hard on 'Muir. He'll learn, but, he will have to face Peter Wright again at Old Anniesland on Saturday. Might be fun.



HUGE Kudos are due to Edinburgh, for winning at The Twickenham Stoop. Harlequins, like a lot of the top English sides, are not as good as their media mates make them out to be, so, losing to an Edinburgh side which, I gather, many in London do not rate, was a reality check for them.

I appreciate, Edinburgh can still be maddeningly inconsistent, but, I don't know what more Duncan Hodge can do to stake a claim for a longer shot at the Head Coach's role. I cannot think of any appropriately-qualified New Zealand coach whom the SRU might wish to airlift in.

Let's hope the Myreside move works for the club. Also, with so-many young Scots in their side, Edinburgh's future is bright. Good, too, to see Ben Toolis, arguably Europe's top line-out operator, having another good game in London. I rate Big Ben highly.



ANOTHER player I rate very highly is Hawick's young wing Darcy Graham. This kid ought, at the very least, to be in the Scotland Sevens squad. I get the feeling, if he doesn't get a pro contract from Murrayfied at the end of this season, one of the English clubs, probably Newcastle, will nick him.

Surely Scott McLeod has told Dean Richards what an unpolished diamond young Darcy is.

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

Let's See Our PRO12 Sides Continue In 2017 As They Ended 2016

A GUID NEW YEAR to all readers of this blog. I hope 2017 is good to you, and particularly good to Scottish Rugby.

Our two Guinness PRO12 sides certainly finished 2016 on a high, with their wins in Italy. I was particularly pleased to see Edinburgh beat Zebre, this one was a definite potential banana skin for Duncan Hodge's troops and one can only hope the move to Myreside brings better results for the team.

Glasgow's win at Treviso was not an easy watch for us stay-at-home fans. When Glasgow were good, they were kilometres better than the Italians, but, when they were bad – oh dear. Let's just say, Glasgow won ugly, which is a handy habit to have. They certainly got no favours from the Italian referee, who was, I felt, out of his depth, but, they didn't help themselves with a lot of sloppy handling and poor decision-making. Still, a win is a win.

I am getting a wee bit concerned at the new players. Big Brian Alainu'uese has been cited for a “no arms tackle” in Italy and both he and the other recent recruit, American Langilangi Haupeakui have, in their early weeks at Scotstoun, attracted a lot of unwanted attention from match officials – this needs sorting-out, and quickly.

The experiment of playing Hoggie at ten certainly worked, if not to 100%. I don't for instance, think Finn Russell has the gas to have pulled-off that length of the field intercept try which opened Glasgow#s account.

Speaking of our pro players. I noticed, from the latest set of Opta statistics, kindly distributed by the PRO12 media team, that Edinburgh's Ben Toolis is top of the line-out winning stats. I have long thought, he should be ahead of the quiet Tim Swinson in the Scottish pecking order.



MY OWN rugby travels generally take me round the BT Premiership grounds, and, I really feel, it is time the big clubs were making waves around BT Murrayfield and getting themselves a fairer crack of the whip.

OK, the vast majority of the players in this top club division are amateurs, and they obviously want to enjoy themselves a wee bit at this time of year. However, a 28-day break, including three fallow Saturdays is not good for the club coffers.

Fair enough, if bad weather intervenes, but, with global warming and what not, the days of losing games to bad weather in December are maybe behind us. Yes, the players will have had a chance to rest their tired bodies, but, the BT Premiership is a good league, which deserves better than the stop-start fixture scheduling which has been its lot this season.

And, I am missing my weekly live rugby fix.


LEICESTER'S decision to hand Director of Rugby Richard Cockerill his jotters just might be bad news for Glasgow, who are due at Welford Road on European Cup business on 21 January.

This could turn out to be a “must win” game for Toony's troops, and I have a feeling that, if, as has been widely reported in England, Cockrill had: “lost the dressing room”, then Aaron Mauger just might rediscover it before the Glasgow game, which will make it all the harder for Warriors to win at a ground where the home side does not often lose.


Monday, 12 December 2016

Christmas Came Early For Scottish Rugby This Weekend

WELL, that was some weekend in Scottish Rugby. Santa came early with a few heartening results to affirm the seasonal feelgood factor in the game.

Top of the pile has to be that Glasgow win in Paris. I left home for Millbrae and the Ayr v Hawick match, of which more later, having remembered to record the Glasgow game, but, with a sense of foreboding. After their last three Guinness PRO12 outings, I wondered if Toony could work his magic and get the real Glasgow to produce the way of the Warriors in Paris.

He did, and how. Glasgow's strength under Townsend has long been their defensive diligence – when they get it right without the ball, it makes it a lot easier for them to play when they do have it, and, they have never defended better than they did against Racing. The defensive effort was fantastic, every man stepped up and did his job.

A wee aside here. The London-based big-name rugby journalists, in pre-selecting their Lions' squad for New Zealand, are already promoting the cause of the entire England squad, plus half the England Saxons reserve squad. Now, it would be stupid to deny, England has some terrific players, but, they have looked good on front foot ball. I would reckon, in New Zealand next summer, the Lions will need some guys who are good defenders, and, I believe, in this respect, the likes of Jonny Gray and Ryan Wilson – who never gets mentioned in Lions' despatches, are infinitely better players than their English rivals for the red jersey. Just saying like.

Any way, the big test for Glasgow now is to back-up Saturday's performance, in front of what will be a packed and passionate Scotstoun on Friday night. I know, I know, French clubs don't play away from France, but, this hurt Racing team will come at Glasgow with all guns blazing. Big Naka will be keen to strut his unique stuff on his favourite ground. The job is only half done and it will take another massive shift to get it done on Friday. But, Glasgow has a sniff of a quarter-final place, don't spoil it now.

AND, what of Edinburgh, seemingly down and out at half-time, then reduced to 14 men by Phil Burleigh's red card. But still, they came good and won. The captial side continue to infuriate during a typically roller coaster season, but, they are still in there swinging.

If he isn't careful, Duncan Hodge just might play himself into the job full time – which might be no bad thing. Well done Edinburgh, a fantastic victory.



MEANWHILE, almost unnoticed by the mainstream media, the BT Premiership continues to, week on week, produce rugby worth talking about.

And nowhere was the talk more animated than in the Millbrae bar after Saturday's 85-point epic. The pre-match talk was all about how eight of the Hawick squad had taken themselves off to Barbados for a stag weekend. Hawick to Barbados, I thought the place was on its uppers; gnarled old Teris have been telling me for months: “The toon's fucked, there's nae joabs, nae money and damned little rugby talent”.

But, against the odds and with little to play with, Nikki Walker keeps the Green Machine if not flying to the heights of yore, in there scrapping.

And how they scrapped at Millbrae. The youngsters drafted in did what youngsters handed a green jersey have done since rugby was a 20 aside game; they played “fur the toon”, with pride and passion, and they gave Ayr a real fright.

Of course, when Ayr did things correctly, they were much the better side. But, perhaps they had read the pre-match pieces and decided they only had to turn up to win, any way, five minutes into the second half, and trailing by 20 points, Ayr suddenly realised they were in a game.

Skipper Pete McCallum roused his men, Frazier Climo's kicking game clicked in, and, Ayr came through, but, not before a late fright. The home side eased home in injury time, but, seldom have two points been as bravely and as rightly been won as the two Hawick took from this game.

Young Darcy Graham stood out, with two exceptional tries. He will surely, and soon, follow Stuart Hogg into the professional game – his broken field running was Hogg-like in the excitement it raised around the field. This kid is going places.

Meanwhile, Bruce McNeil was, just Bruce McNeil. If you cut the Hawick captain in half, he would be green, with Hawick written all the way through. He frustrates and infuriates opponents and oppositon fans alike. He must he a nightmare to referee, but, he is the totem pole around which Hawick gathers – what a leader.

On this display, Hawick, despite spending much of this season propping-up the table, will not be relegated.

There was a cracking game too at Myreside, where Glasgow Hawks, in spite of the controversial red-carding of Junior Bulumakau, kept on the winning way against a Watsonians team,, who went down with all guns blazing. And, it was another of the young guns, 19-year-old Josh Henderson, wot won it for Hawks with a nerveless last-kick penalty goal.

Looking ahead, Melrose, who absolutely crushed Gala, now welcome Ayr to the Greenyards on Saturday for a game which may well decide the first and second places in the end of season play-off seedings. This one will sizzle all the way through.



IT passed without much comment, but, there was a significant game played elsewhere in South Ayrshire on Saturday, with Marr kicking a late penalty to see off Edinburgh Academicals in the battle of the top two in National League 1.

There is still a lot of rugby to be played in this division, but, having come so close last season, Marr now have their noses in front and will be determined to hang on and take the automatic promotion spot at the end of the campaign.

I bet,up there in the great clubhouse in the sky, the two Broons – Broon from Troon himself and his contemporary, the lesser-known “Toad” Broon, were buying the drinks on Saturday night.



LET'S not forget another superb performance from our unheralded Sevens squad, who finished fourth in the latest IRB Sevens tournament in South Africa. Suddenly, Scotland has got to grips with the abbreviated form of international rugby. There was no shame in losing to the England team which was in effect, the Olympic silver medalists, sans Mark Bennett and Mark Robertson, before losing narrowly to New Zealand in the bronze medal match. Well done boys.

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Lions Feasting On The Finances Of The Gullible

THIS morning an email dropped into my inbox, from the British Lions. The highspot was an invitation to buy a ticket, or tickets for the first of a series of Meet the Lions dinners. This was to be held in Edinburgh's Sheraton Grand Hotel, in the august presence of Warren Gatland, and would only set me back the piddling sum of £298.80.

This was what is called in the Second City of the Empire, a: “Haud me back moment”. Nearly £300 to eat an average function meal, and listen to Gatland talk “Warrenballs”. My head does not zip up the back, I have taken one or two sair wans to the napper in the course of a less than distinguished career in the front five playing in the last 10% of Scottish rugby, but, I am not daft enough to shell-out for that one.

Really, does the Lions management think the red shirt and the name is a licence to print money? Any way, I have a notion the Lions will get their erses well and truly skelpt in New Zealand next summer.



SPEAKING of which, I am so-happy that “Toony” has opted out of an assistant coach's job with the Lions to get his feet properly under the table as Scotland coach in the South Pacific over the summer of 2017.

The spell away with most of his first-choice players, at the very least Hoggie, Sean Maitland, at least one of the centres, possibly Tommy Seymour; certainly Jonny Gray, Richie Gray and John Barclay – plus one or two others if they have outstanding Six Nations campaigns, ought to be on Lions duty.

Say a maximum of eight or nine out of a 35-strong squad with the Lions, that gives Toony plenty to work on and get his ideas across, well away from the scrutiny of the Scottish press corps!!



THE BT Premiership continues to turn-up entertaining rugby, somewhat under the radar of newspaper and broadcast media sports desks, who still – with guidance from Murrayfield – appear to believe there is no rugby in Scotland below the two Guinness PRO12 teams.

Ayr and Melrose are certainly the cream of the crop, now having almost an Old Firm aura about them, but, as has been shown on more than one occasion – they cannot take a win over every other club as a given. Elsewhere, every team is capable of beating every other one on any given Saturday. But still, the Premiershi struggles for decent coverage, although, again, kudos to big David Barnes for the ever-excellent Offside Line website and its coverage of the league.

PLEASE – I URGE YOU – SUPPORT THAT WEBSITE


THERE is also an interesting little game coming up this Saturday, which will well fly under the radar. Marr will entertain Edinburgh Accies at Fullarton; first hosting second in National League One. The winner of this one will be very much in the box seat when it comes to promotion to the top flight for next season. But, I fear it will garner little media interest, which is a pity.



I HAD sympathy for arguably Scotland's leading writer of sporting obituaries this week. He had to compile the obituary on Ian AA MacGregor, one of the leading SRU “blazers” of the amateur era.

This scribe works on the basis, if you cannot say anything good about somebody, say nothing, which doesn't make summarising MacGregor's massive contribution to Scottish rugby easy. You see, Ian MacGregor, who won nine caps between 1955 and 1957, and who spent a couple of decades inside Murrayfield had perhaps more enemies than he had friends.

This was partly self-induced, he was not an easy man to like, or get on with; but, he was a major player on the field – the only Hillhead HSFP forward ever to be capped – and an even bigger one in the committee-room. As one veteran Anniesland man said: “He was the most-thrawn bastard I ever met”.

He had his devils, but, he did much good work on the Laws of the Game, at IRB level. He put in years of largely unpaid work to bolster Glasgow District and he was acknowledged as one of the finest match analysts of his era.

But, he could be unreasonably prickly about petty details. Like us all, he had his flaws, but, regardless, with the death of Ian MacGregor, Scottish rugby has lost a significant character in its rich history.



ONE of my old team mates, these many years on missionary work in the Sudentenland, emailed me over the weekend. His email covered several topics, but, significantly, he asked what I thought were Glasgow's chances in Paris this weekend.

How I wish I could have been positive, but, after their error-strewn loss to a middling Munster side on Friday night, I fear for their chances against Racing.

To put it bluntly, Glasgow simply isn't the Glasgow we know at the moment. We can only hope the return of Hogg, Gray and Co will give them the lift they need, since Racing are also not playing well right now. This is not an easy match to call, but, you have to favour the French side slightly.