I Have A Better Use For The SRU's Half Million Earmarked For America

THE SRU'S half-million pounds sterling investment in Washington Old Glory might, in time prove a marvellous investment. Ah hae ma doots aboot that, but, you never can tell. However, I can think of an immediate and more beneficial use of some of that money.

Should our esteemed governing body not be hiring one or two Irish coaches in the dark arts of being “street-smart,” or maybe sending one or two of our coaches to whichever seat of learning on the Emerald Isle, which offers coaches in “cheating at rugby and how to get away with it.”

Because, if Edinburgh had been as good as Munster at these dark arts, they would now be looking forward – if that is the correct expression given the opposition they would be facing – to a Heineken Champions Cup semi-final.

Or, to be a bit less bitter and twisted, maybe the SRU should be working on training the hardest part of an athlete to get working properly – those crucial six inches between his ears. What was Henry Pyrgos thinking – conceding that penalty from which Keith Earls scored the first of his two tries on Saturday? And, what was Pierre Schoemann thinking, conceding the second?

Mind you, I do feel, had the positions been reversed, and had Pyrgos then done what Conor Murray did and body-slammed his opponent to the deck: does anyone Scottish doubt that the penalty would have been reversed? Or that if it had been, as in the Schoemann incident, an Irish prop who nudged a Scottish lock – no penalty would have followed.

Basically, we Scots don't know when and how to cheat, or when to wait for the right moment to sort-out an opposition nyaff. I've been seeing this for years, and we never seem to learn.

Any way, look at it this way. Saracens v Munster will be a meeting of two thoroughly unlikeable teams. We are maybe well out of it.

WARRIORS' heavy defeat to Saracens was very depressing. It was Men against Boys and another hard lesson learned. Glasgow are a bit like your typical British tennis or golf professional.

On their day, in an ordinary tour match, they will win, but, come the big occasions – the Majors or the Grand Slam events – when the pressure really comes on, they will crumble. We really need to sort-out this failing.

I don't know, but, I hope, Independence might, in time, change the Scottish mind set and we find more sporting Andy Murrays or Chris Hoys or Jackie Stewarts, capable of taking us to the topmost sporting level.

SATURDAY was a huge day for the club game. I did flag-up the Scottish Cup semi-finals in my preview, so congratulations to Ayr and Heriot's, who will now go head-to-head twice: on Saturday, at Millbrae, in the Tennent's Premiership Grand Final, then again, Saturday, 27 April, in the Scottish Cup Final, the big game in that day-long celebration of the club game: “Silver Saturday” at Murrayfield.

When it became clear, Ayr and Melrose would be playing back-to-back semi-finals, the consensus among the regulars in the press seats at Millbrae was: “Melrose to win here in the Play-Off semi-final, then Ayr to turn them over the following week at The Greenyards.

Maybe, if Fraser Thomson had been fit, that might have been how it turned out, but, in the end, the fact Melrose had a slightly-longer injury list conspired against them and Ayr won both games. The two finals will be interesting, and are very hard to call.

I thought for a minute or two, as I followed Saturday's events at Goldenacre on twitter, that another epic chapter in Hawick history was about to be written. But, Heriot's did what good teams do, they made home advantage count. But, the Greens gave them a bit of a fright.

But, what of the other big games on Saturday – the club clashes which I failed to properly flag-up before-hand. Well, one thing we did learn from the minor semi-finals, in the League Cup, the National Shield and the National Bowl is – notwithstanding the SRU's disgraceful failure to give rugby north of the Forth a stake in Super-6, there is life there.

For instance, the Bowl Final, which traditionally kicks-off Silver Saturday, will be an all-Caledonia affair, with Aberdeenshire taking-on DUMS – the Dundee University Medical Students. In the semi-finals, 'Shire edged-out Edinburgh Northern 14-10, while in a game where, perhaps one side should have donned surgical scrubs and the other white coats, DUMS beat GUM, their Glasgow Uni Medics counterparts, 17-12.

I am delighted to see 'Shire, a venerable old club – they once had Ken Scotland wearing their number 15 shirt, when he was Scotland captain – who have known some difficult times of late, back on the big stage. And well done too to the Tayside students, for getting this far. The way student rugby in Scotland has drifted away from the mainstream to BUCS play is upsetting to us older romantics, so, well done DUMS for getting this far.

The Shield Final will be an East v West affair, with Berwick facing another grand old team on the way back after a fallow spell – Greenock Wanderers.

In the semi-finals, Berwick comfortably beat Royal High 33-10, while Wanderers just edged out Strathmore 21-20, result which will no doubt make Wanderers' Brendan McGroarty, the former Scotland Club XV and Hawks centre, insufferable for the next month. Ach! Who am I kidding, well done you and your boys Brendan.

Finally, to the final which doesn't make the big pitch on Silver Saturday – Why? The League Cup show down. This will be an all-Caledonia affair, with Highland taking on Aberdeen Grammar. Highland, favourites to accompany Biggar into National League 1 next season, took a break from the promotion race on Saturday to edge out Musselburgh – who are themselves very-much in the mix for the final slot in next season's Premiership – 30-28, in the first semi-final.

In the second semi, Kelso's hopes of having a chance to put last season's final loss to Dumfries behind them, were dashed as they lost 34-13 to Aberdeen Grammar.

TODAY, Scottish Rugby's future goes on show at Murrayfield, with the two National Youth Cup Finals.

First-up is the Under-16 affair, with Biggar facing seemingly perennial finalists Stirling County. Then, in the Under-18 final, Boroughmuir face another of youth rugby's power-houses, Ayr. This one should be a cracker too.

Today Is A Massive Rugby Day

TODAY just might be the crunch day this season in Scottish Rugby – with four absolutely crucial games at the upper end.

The biggest attendance of the day, will be at BT Murrayfield, where Edinburgh will entertain Munster, and a hoped-for 40,000 crowd, in the quarter-final of the Heineken Champions Cup.

This one is perhaps the hardest to call. With home advantage, against another PRO14 side, you might expect Edinburgh to win. But, they are facing Munster, whose league record this season is better, and whose past European record is certainly superior to Edinburgh's.

The Munster-men, it cannot be forgotten, crushed Edinburgh 44-14 when they met in Ireland back in November; however, Edinburgh have certainly improved since back then. To be honest, anything could and perhaps will happen today.

Richard Cockerill has named a strong Edinburgh squad, which (as-ever in 1-23 order) reads:

Pierre Schoeman, Stuart McInally (CAPTAIN), WP Nel, Ben Toolis, Grant Gilchrist, John Barclay, Hamish Watson, Viliame Mata; Henry Pyrgos, Jaco van der Walt; Duhan van der Merwe, Chris Dean, James Johnstone, Damien Hoyland; Darcy Graham. Replacements: Ross Ford, Allan Dell, Simon Berghan, Magnus Bradbury, Jamie Ritchie; Charlie Shiel, Simon Hickey, Mark Bennett.

 Darcy Graham, wears 15 for Edinburgh today

Having seen him playing there for Hawick, I am excited about Darcy Graham playing at 15, he will give Munster some problems with his broken-field running. And, how good to see Damien Hoyland, after a wretched season on and off the park, getting to strut his stuff on the big stage.

Edinburgh's pack looks awesome, while, their bench is also strong, and it will need to be.

The Munster squad, for this, their 18^th European quarter-final has been announced as (again in 1-23 order):

D Kilcoyne, N Scannell, J Ryan, J Kleyn, T Beirne, P O'Mahony, J O'Donoghue, CJ Stander; C Murray, J Carbery; K Earls, R Scannell, C Farrell, A Conway; M Haley. Replacements: R Marshall, J Loughman, S Archer, B Holland, A Botha, A Mathewson, T Bleyendaal, D Goggin.

NO SOONER will the Murrayfield match be over and attention will switch to Allianz Park in North London, for the Saracens v Glasgow quarter-final. This might well be the best of the four quarters, because – well, it's an England v Scotland meeting, and, if it's anything like the last such encounter, it will be a cracker.

Saracens will definitely start as favourites, their European record, particularly at home, is awesome, but, while they have a marvellous 5/0 winning record against Glasgow, they have to lose to the Warriors some time – why not tomorrow?

The Warriors' squad (as always in 1-23 order) reads:

Oli Kebble, Fraser Brown, Zander Fagerson, Tim Swinson, Scott Cummings, Rob Harley, . Callum Gibbins (CAPTAIN), Matt Fagerson; Ali Price, Adam Hastings; Rory Hughes, Sam Johnson, Stafford McDowall, Kyle Steyn; Stuart Hogg. Replacements: Kevin Bryce, Jamie Bhatti, Siua Halanukonuka, Jonny Gray, Chris Fusaro; George Horne, Pete Horne, Niko Matawalu.

Saracens have named the following match-day 23 for the match:

R Barrington, J George, C Judge, W Skelton, G Kruis, M Itoje, J Wray, B Vunipola; B Spencer, O Farrell; L Williams, B Barritt (CAPTAIN) A Lozowski, S Maitland; A Goode. Replacements: T Woolstencroft, T Lemositole, V Koch, N Isekwe, S Burger; T Whiteley, N Tompkins, D Strettle.

Wales' Wizard of the whistle could be busy this afternoon

IF wee Nigel Owens can keep Owen Farrell and his mates within the laws, I believe Glasgow has the stronger bench and, difficult thought it will be, are capable of winning this one.

Both matches will be shown live on BT Sport TV.

IN SCOTLAND tomorrow, the big domestic games are the two Scottish Cup semi-finals. The big one is probably The Greenyards meeting of Melrose and Ayr, and after last Saturday's Millbrae epic between these sides in the Tennent's Premiership Play-Off Semi-Final, expectations are high. No forecast from me on this one, I have learned lang syne, anything can happen with these two in opposition.

Melrose, struggling and missing among others, full-back Fraser Thomson, have named the following side (1-22 order):

G Shiells, R Anderson, C Young, C Crookshanks, J Head, R Knott, G Runciman (CAPTAIN), I Moody; S Hutchison, C Jackson; M Muelace-Julyan, G Wood, P Anderson, I Sim; D Crawford. Replacements: R Ferguson, B McLean, T Brown, H Morris, P Eccles, A Jardine, T Klein.

Paddy Kelly - at centre for Ayr at Melrose

Ayr have had Robbie Nairn and Paddy Kelly released by Warriors for the game, while Melrose will be without professional help. The Ayr match-day 22 reads:

R Sayce, R Smith, S Longwell, D Corbenici, L Morrice, B Macpherson, T Spinks, P McCallum (CAPTAIN); H Warr, F Climo; K Rowe, D McCluskey, P Kelly, R Nairn; G Anderson. Replacements: A McGuire, E McLaren, A North, C Reece, J Preston, J Pinkerton, J Bova.

Heriot's v Hawick is one of the great, long-standing rivalries in Scottish rugby. The match no longer features perhaps half of the Scotland team, but, there is still going to be a lot of . quality on-view when they sides again lock horns, for the third time this season, at Goldenacre. The kick-off has been put back to 4pm, to allow interested fans to see the Edinburgh v Munster game first.

Heriot's will start as strong favourites, but, even without professionals, after last week's win over Currie, they will deserve that tag. However, you can never write off a Hawick team.

Phil Smith has named the following Heriot's match-day 22:

J Scott, A Johnstone, S Cessford, R Leishman, A Sinclair, M Hughes, I Wilson (CAPTAIN), J Hill; A Ball, R Carmichael; C Robertson, R Kay, R Jones, R McMichael; J Blain. Replacements: A Johnstone, S Mustard, C Marshall, S Dewar, A Simmers, S Edwards, C Simpson.

George Graham will certainly have the Greens wound-up for this one. They will need to be at their best, but, firm believer though I am to the diktat: “A strong Scottish Rugby needs a strong Hawick,” I must favour Heriot's to win this one.

Graham has named the following 22, for one of whom, replacement Glen Welsh, there is the prospect of a first outing in the legendary green jersey:

S Muir (CAPTAIN), M Carryer, D Johnston, D Suddon, D Redpath, D Lowrie, S Graham, B McNeil; Gareth Welsh, L Armstrong; L Gordon-Wooley, K Davies, A Mitchell, K Ford; A Weir. Replacements: C Renwick, N Little, J Linton, D Lightfoot, K Brunton, Glen Welsh, R McKean.

Will There Be Glory in Old Glory?

I HAVE, since last Friday's SGM, refused to join those bad-mouthing the top table at that meeting. Of course, there seems to be good reason to consider the top table's behaviour rude and unpleasant. I wasn't there, but, even those who were and who are prepared to side with the Establishment over the outcome, admit, some of the main actors were playing baddies.

TCD - but, seemingly not the biggest C within the SRU

This site has, for some time, referred to the CEO of the SRU as 'TCD', I have explained before, this is a term of endearment he picked-up from members of the National Union of Journalists, when he was running the Guardian's stable of regional titles. In case you are new to the site, T means That, D means Dodson and C is a fairly common and very rude four-letter swear word, use of which is considered, in polite company, to be as far beyond the pale as one can go.

It is a common habit of Cs to surround themselves with other Cs; and at least one other top-table representative last Friday is widely-considered, within the broad church of Scottish Rugby to be an even bigger C than TCD.

So, expecting him to abide by the Marquis of Queensbury's rules is always a no-no. And, as I have said previously, Gavin MacColl QC is an advocate – people who are hired, at great expense, to win cases, not to win friends.

Right, I think that lays down where I am coming from. Last Friday night was NOT a new low in the governance of Scottish Rugby – the losers last week could and, if they prepare better than they did for that meeting, and get their support properly on-side and lined-up may well win their case at an AGM.

But, what can we do about this week's example of high-handed management from the SRU – the decision to put around £500,000 of SRU funds into the Washington Old Glory expansion franchise of America's Major League Rugby.

This is the second SRU foray into foreign fields, and like that into French Rugby with Nice for the men and Lille for the women, it has never been properly explained to the SRU's main shareholders – the clubs.

The clubs do not know the how, why and what of these deals:

• How they happened
• Why they happened
• What was the reason for them happening

OK, look at the Nice deal. Tyrone Holmes is still there as a player/coach, as are players Hamish Bain, Charlie Capps, Archie Erskine andCameron Hutchison. Pete Murchie came home to forge a promising coaching career at Ayr, Dave Cherry is now playing with Edinburgh, Bruce Flockhart is with Glasgow, but, can anyone tell me what has happened to Josh Henderson and Nick McLennan – both last seen in the Scotland Sevens set-up? They appear to have vanished off the face of the earth.

I know there used to be a big French Foreign Legion base just outside Nice, maybe they have gone the full Beau Geste and gone off to lose themselves.

So, we are not apparently to be given much information about the Nice deal, and if it is working. This is par for the course for out-of-Scotland deals by the SRU. There was the troubled history of players being sent to London Scottish. OK, in some ways this worked – George Horne, Cammy Fenton and Andrew Davidson have all gone on to better things, while Matt Davidson and Lewis Wynne are currently doing well there; but, I remain convinced, there ought to be a far-closer relationship between Murrayfield and Richmond, for the betterment of Scottish Rugby. Although, that is maybe for a future blog.

The proposed investments in Worcester and Newcastle fell by the wayside, now, it appears TCD's craving for a global sporting presence has seen us investing in the fledgling MLR (that's Major League Rugby) in the USA.

So, over the past four or five years, TCD has been continually looking at investment opportunities outwith Scotland, while, at home, the clubs have been complaining about a lack of investment, a poor level of communication between clubs and HQ and the relationship between the executive and the stakeholders has deteriorated.

We understand, the investment in Washington Old Glory will be upwards of £500,000. Is this a one-off? Is it over a set number of years? We don't know. I appreciate the board of SRU plc can pretty-much do as they like, provided it is for the greater good of the stakeholder-owned co-operative entity the Scottish Rugby Union. But, they really MUST explain themselves better to that co-operative entity of over 200 clubs.

Now, £500,00 is not a big sum today. It would just about buy one 3G pitch, but, it could make the proposed “Legoland” stadium for Edinburgh Rugby a wee-bit better. Spread among the 157 clubs playing league rugby, it would, at around £3000 per club, make life easier for them.

Can the board honestly tell us, that money, spent in the USA, will honestly benefit Scottish rugby, and how this will happen. As we read in all these adverts for investments: “The value of investments can go up as well a down.”

If the board does not explain themselves soon, then let us hope somebody drags an explanation out of them at the AGM, which is already looking like being a very interesting one.

"Dirty" Dom McKay - think of all those air miles

However, this American investment is not all bad news. There is a silver lining. “Dirty Dom” McKay is apparently to join the Washington Old Glory board, which means, I would assume, he will get a lot of opportunities to top-up his air miles crossing the Atlantic. Well, if he's in Washington, he is not upsetting things at Murrayfield. Win-win I would say.

BY THE WAY, I am told former SRU President Jim Stevenson is planning a political come-back.

The word is that Jim will be standing against the incumbent, and current SRU board member, Willie Gardner, for the West Region North seat on the SRU Council.

Convention was, once you reached the top of the slippery pole, got to be President and sit next to Princess Anne for a season or two, that was it. You became one of the Great and Good, your opinions were listened to, you were wheeled-out on ceremonial occasions, but, you had very-little influence.

Maybe Jim should stick with convention. I wonder what he hopes to achieve, trying to come back after nearly a decade in Scottish Rugby's House of Lords.

Give it a rest Jim – you don't need the aggro, would be my advice.

Bad Manners Yes - Bad Governance - Not So Sure

DAVID BARNES, in the normally excellent The Offside Line, yesterday posted a “long read about Friday night's SGM at Murrayfield. In this, big Barney described the evening as a new low in Scottish rugby governance.

Barney is, of course, entitled to his opinion, but, in this case I disagree with the big man. I would argue, it might well be a new low in boorish, bad behaviour. I wasn't there, but several people who were tell me the top table gave the impression of being that bit better than those in the body of he kirk, on whom they looked down.

Well, to me, that's more bad manners than bad governance. The executives and the elected officials are charged with properly running the SRU. They make the decisions, and if the clubs don't like what they are doing, they can, at an AGM or an SGM, win their argument and force through change.

Those clubs and representatives who spoke against the plans of the executive on Friday night, didn't win. And, a partial reason for their non-success was, to use the phrase, shamelessly stolen from Sean Connery's character in "The Untouchables," Boroughmuir member Alistair Munro posted in a btl comment on the TOL website, because: “They took a kitchen knife to a gun fight.”

 The rebels should maybe have got this guy to speak on Friday night

At an AGM or SGM, the Establishment are, initially, in-charge. They set the rules of engagement, they decide who gets to speak, when, and for how long. You have to be positive of your case, not only its veracity, but also in its right. You have to get your tactics correct, and you have to be absolutely up to speed on the organisation's rules which you are invoking or challenging.

Clearly, on Friday night, the opposition failed to do this. What's that old favourite of coaches who pin things up on dressing room walls? Oh! Yes: “Fail to prepare – prepare to fail.”

When it comes to Robert Howat, a gentleman I have never met, but, basing this probably biased view on what I have heard and read about him, in particular through “Russellgate” - the sacking of Keith Russell and its repercussions; I reckon perhaps Steve Coogan wrote a song about him, that one which goes: “Everyone's a bit of a c*nt sometimes:” although perhaps Mr Howat behaves like this more-often than most.

Mr MacColl is an eminent advocate, a QC no less. These learned gentlemen have a reputation for not doing nice – they are paid to win, and tend to go about winning with a determination we ought to be seeing from our international players.

They were never going in to bat on Friday night to win friends, they were going to win the battle – and they did.

My view – bad manners, almost certainly, but, bad governance – I don't necessarily think so.

I STILL do the odd piece for The Scotsman and Scotland on Sunday. To their credit, unlike their supposed rivals at the top of Renfield Street in Glasgow, the dear old Hootsmon titles still treat club rugby as mattering, covering every Premiership game as a matter of course.

They should, to my mind, be doing more club rugby, but, they don't. Which is why I shook my head when I read he online Hootsmon this morning, and saw the excellent Duncan Smith had done a piece on Richard Cockerill's sorrow at the place where his former club Leicester now find themselves – struggling in the foothills of England's Gallacher Premiership.

Of course, Cockerill had a long and largely-successful spell with the club and, yes he must be sad at where they now are.

But, Cockers is now coach of Edinburgh, who have the small matter of a European quarter-final coming up. I want to read about that game in the Hootsmon.

What the fuck has Leicester got to do with Scottish rugby anyway? The Scotsman is no longer a UK “national newspaper,” is is now a Scottish national newspaper. There would be more sales in stories about Super-6 or Scottish club rugby, than about Leicester – I would suggest.

I AM a wee bit late in tackling this story, but, still ahead of the mainstream media in doing so, but, last week, the SRU put-out a press release which didn't attract the media attention I thought it might, and deserved.

Because the Legend that is Ian McLauchlan has finally handed-in his SRU suit and retired to Scottish rugby's equivalent of the House of Lords – the Murrayfield seats reserved for ex-internationalists. “Wee Beastie,” as “Mighty Mouse” is known to those of us in the West who have kent him longest, has given a good half century of service to Scottish Rugby, as fiesty prop, British Lions immortal, national captain, trend-setter in working the corporate entertaining scene, sometimes rugby writer and administrator.

He is in the direct line of influential captains whose influence went beyond the playing field and into the corridors of power – following the likes of Lord Bannerman, Jim Telfer and Sir Ian McGeechan.

As an SRU board member said to me recently: “We will miss the wee bugger, he knew so-much and was a great source of guidance to us.”

Ian went into extra time as a member of the SRU board, serving on the board, as president then ordinary member for a full ten years. With his final retirement as an Independent board member, the SRU has gone through a lengthy process in identifying a replacement. This has resulted in former Olympic fencer Julia Bracewell OBE.

 New SRU board member Julia Bracewell OBE

A former Olympic fencer Julia was a board member of the British Sports Council (1995 – 2001), sportscotland and UK Sport (2005 – 2008) and was awarded an OBE for services to sport in 1999.

A trained barrister Julia brings over 25 years of experience of international business and finance, working with major US and UK law firms, including five years with BP. She currently works for city law firm McCarthy Denning.

Colin Grassie, Chairman of Scottish Rugby said: “I would like to extend my thanks on behalf of everyone associated with rugby in Scotland to Ian for his significant contribution to our game.

“Given his formidable record as a player he has drawn on his considerable experience and generously shared it with both his colleagues on the Board and many others associated with the game, at every level.

“He has been a forthright, diligent Board member and worked selflessly to help improve Scottish rugby. Ian has helped shape our recent successes, both on and off the pitch, and leaves with our full gratitude and thanks.”

The new, improved SRU website also includes an interview with the Wee Man. Kudos to whichever of the elves wrote this, there is hope for the SRU media department yet, if they continue to do such pieces.

Do read it if you get the chance. Meanwhile, I am sure we will continue to see Wee Beastie around Scottish Rugby, I am certain.

Time For Some Of The Rebels To Get Real

APPARENTLY, I have “sold out” and become Super-6's biggest cheer-leader; I am now in the pay of the SRU (I wish); and I have also committed several other crimes against Scottish Rugby, or more-correctly, the Aye Been tendancy in the game. So, can we settle one or two things:

• Super-6 is happening. That battle is over.
  
  
• IF the Super-6 clubs do try to recruit from surrounding clubs, for their “amateur” sides; they are more-likely to be going after promising young players than established first team players with that lower club.
  
  
• Movement between the Super-6 clubs and the rest will be a two-way street.
  
  
• Perhaps not immediately, but, certainly within the next five to ten years, you will see clubs wishing to enter the National Leagues and the Premiership being required to meet minimum standards of infrastructure.
  
  
• The Establishment “won” a last week's SGM, and some of the “Rebels” still have not stopped squealing: Don't get mad – get even is always a good plan in such circumstances.
  
  
• The Rebels can always have another go, at the AGM, but, I would suggest, second time around, they prepare and fight better than they did last week.
  
  
  
  Gavin MacColl QC - paid to win cases, not friends
  
  
  
  
• The way some of the Establishment behaved, I have seen Robert Howat and Gavin MacColl QC coming in for some criticism. Come on, those two are lawyers – a breed with a tendancy to think they are smarter than the rest of us. And MacColl is an advocate, he's paid to win cases, not win friends.
  
  
• Internal squabbles are part of life for every national sporting body. Forcing through change is never easy, since the Establishment in each body sets the rules and laws down the laws of engagement when change is threatened.
  
  
• This means, if you want to change things, you have to work smarter (and harder) than the Establishment.
  
  
• Speaking of Murrayfield acions to get annoyed about. Never mind last week's SGM, it's in the past – get worked-up about this suggestion of the SRU taking some £750,000 of OUR money – that's potential funding for your club and mine, and spending it on an American rugby club that has yet to play a game.
  
  
• Now that is something to get upset about.

I SEE yesterday's outbreak of English Exceptionalism – the RFU reportedly being totally agin World Rugby's plans for this World League: because England feared relegation from the Six Naions – has been booted into touch by Steve Tew, the big boss of New Zealand Rugby.

Perhaps World Rugby should exempt the RFU in the northern hemisphere, and the NZRU in the southern, from the normal rules of the proposed World League. They do this because, England is the nation everyone wants to beat, so, as “the Common Enemy,” they have to be in there in the north.

New Zealand, as the benchmark for excellence has to be in the top-flight in the south, so everyone else has something to measure themselves against. But, I don't see either argument washing.

I reckon old Nigel Melville's comments, and Nigel is, after only, only temporary CEO of the RFU, are just another example of English Exceptionalism, being picked-up by the compliant London media.

We're in the age of professionalism, if the money from the World league shouts loudly enough, the RFU will sign -up.

THEY DON'T LIKE my old mucker Stephen Jones in New Zealand, or in Australia, or South Africa – and even in some parts of his native Wales; but the bold Jonesie, known for the duration of this item as: 'Jones the Hack,' to differentiate him from another of that eclan, doesn't give a toss about popularity competitions.

'Jones the Hack' - a brilliant put-down of 'Jones the Twat'

But, he has earned Brownie Points in Auckland, Wellington and points south this week, with a brilliant tweet about another Jones – Eddie of that ilk, referred to here as: 'Jones the Twat.'

'Jones the Twat' has, apparently, ruled himself out of being the next Lions' coach, because he doesn't apparently fancy eight weeks in a blazer being a diplomat.

This “news” brought a wonderful twitter response from 'Jones the Hack,' who tweeted:

“Eddie's ruled himself out of a job he wasn't going to be asked to do anyway - that's some connundrum, even by Eddie's standards.

On that basis, I can confirm I'm ruling myself out of the job as the next Pope.”

I also liked, although it wasn't as good a reposte, the tweet from BBC Scotland's rent-a-quote, Tom English, which read:

“This is like a wee 59-year old guy ruling himself out of a night of passion with Beyoncé.”

THE ROW about recruitment of promising schoolboys to some of the leading rugby-playing schools in New Zealand is rumbling on. Earlier this year St Kenigern's (the other name by the way for St Mungo, the patron saint of Glasgow) Auckland, was told by another ten of the top-ranked A1 schools in the Auckland area that they would not play them, because: whereas the other ten schools had only driven a D8 bulldozer through the recruitment rules, St Kent's had apparently used the larger D11.

But, peace has broken-out, St Kent's has agreed not to use the dubiously-recruited players for the opening six rounds of his season's competition, while the two boys considered to be the worst cases of rules violation, will not be playing in the semi-final and final, should St Kent's get there.

I wonder how this news might affect one or two of Scotland's leading rugby-playing schools, who have been accused of being rather too-free and easy when it comes to offering scholarships to promising young players.

RUGBY FORWARDS are sometimes referred to as: “piano shifters,” while backs are “piano players.” The Edinburgh forwards might find themselves, in the near future, getting-in some genuine practice, if not in shiting pianos, but maybe furniture.

Douglas Struth - picture courtesy of SNS/Scottish Rugby

I mention this because Douglas Struth, currently Head of Legal with the SRU, has oday been announced as the new Managing Director of Edinburgh Rugby.

I have never met Douglas, but, from the brief CV which is on this morning's announcement of his new role, I would say he has a chance of being a successful MD.

But, his new job gives Richard Cockerill a great chance to get his pack working as one, moving all Douglas's stuff – his desk, personal files and so on, from his current office to his new one. Then there will be the need to get whoever replaces him as Head of Legal installed.

One thing I will say for the SRU, if you can get onto their gravy train, you get looked after. When it comes to re-arranging deck chairs, Murrayfield could give the White Star Line, owners of the Titanic, lessons in how to do it.