Drink-Fuelled Embarrassments: That's What Rugby Clubs Were In My Day

I WENT down to my local rugby club yesterday, to see them win their league and promotion. The level they play at is so far down the food chain, well, I reckon I am, at 68 and at least two stones overweight, as fit as some of the first XV guys who were trundling around the pitch.

 

I recently had cause to write a piece about the club's good season for the local paper. This went down like a fart in a space suit, because I mentioned in passing that, at one time, the club was "a drink-fuelled embarrassment".

 

One or two of the current committee got a bit sniffy at this, and felt I ought not to have been allowed into the club house for so libelling them. The thing is, none of the complainants were around when the club was the aforesaid drink-fuelled embarrassment - I was. In fact, there were times when I was as drink-fuelled and embarrassing as the rest.

 

There is enough rewriting of history going on during the current election campaign, without rugby clubs joining in.

 

Still, well done boys, you've had a great season - now: FFS keep it going and get up through those leagues.

 

 

 

A GRUDGING well-done too to Heriot's, who beat Melrose in yesterday's BT Premiership Play-Off final. I went off Heriot's in a huge way following their disgraceful and petulant citing of Ross Curle following their defeat at Ayr.

 

I so hoped Melrose would pip them yesterday, but, it wasn't to be. Let's hope Heriot's attitude changes somewhat when they set about defending their crown in the new season.

 

And, well done too to Stirling County, who beat "the Mexicans", as GHA are lovingly referred to around Anniesland way, in the promotion-relegation play-off. I had a feeling County would preserve their Premiership status and, the way their younger players have matured over the season, they will probably finish higher up the table next season.

 

The Premiership has been an exciting league this season, and promises to be again when hostilities resume, but, it could be even better, if the SRU would extract the digit and make semi-professiona rugby happen.

 

 

 

I ENJOYED the Connacht v Glasgow game on Saturday. I am already salivating and the thought of what Glasgow's new forwards coach might do with the talent he will have at his disposal next season, given the way he has moulded the Connacht pack into such a hot unit.

 

Glasgow were, for me, always the better outfit in Galway, but, they found it difficult to beat 16 men, as, once more, they came up against a referee who was clearly anti-Scottish. Some of his decisions were amazing. As for the penalty count against Glasgow - a joke.

 

And well done Edinburgh, in seeing-off Zebre. This was a potential banana skin, given what their next game involves, but, they were professional and got the job done.

Sorry Edinburgh - I Underestimated You

I RECALL, some years ago, interviewing one of Scotland's top football referees, about his Saturday afternoon job. In the course of our talk, he repeated some advice he had, as a young wannabee referee, on the way up, received from one of the then top guys of the time. This was: "If you are wrong in a decision - be wrong with authority".

 

In the wake of this revelation, I trust I was wrong with authority when I penned my fears concerning Edinburgh's European Challenge Cup semi-final, against Newport Gwent Dragons.

 

On the basis of Edinburgh's woeful display against Munster last time out, and, mindful of the standard Scottish default position when facing a supposedly weaker team - basically: "get down to their level"; my view further slewed by the way Dragons had crushed Cardiff in the quarter-final - I feared for Edinburgh.

 

How wrong could I be?

 

I definitely never saw last night's result at BT Murrayfield coming.

 

Edinburgh were, for 70 of the 80 minutes, in total control; playing with authority, confidence and no little panache. This was as good a display from a Scottis side as I have seen. I was delighted to see Phil Bureigh, a player I have been very impressed with since his arrival, playing such a pivotal role. I thought Sam Hidalgo-Clyne further upped the amount of money he will screw out of a top English or French side when he moves, ditto Ben Toolis, who had yet another awesome game an thoroughly deserved his Man of the Match award.

 

This was magnificently-uplifting for all fans of Scottish rugby. Mind you whichever club, between Gloucester and Exeter wins the other semi-final, they will make things very tough for Edi nburgh in the final at the Stoop. But, Alan Solomons' men need not travel south fearful.

 

MAYBE it is something in the Edinburgh water, but, like Edinburgh, Boroughmuir have blown hot and cold this season. But, they came through well to thrash Hawick in today's BT Scottish Cup Final. Having seen both clubs in action in the BT Premiership, I sensed this would be a close-fought final. I certainly never saw 'Muir winning so-clearly. 

 

FINALLY, I was pig sick at my own club, Cumnock, being so comprehensively whipped by Alloa in the BT Bowl final. Alloa were always favourites for this game, but, it was a mis-match and, I suggest the SRU look more-carefully at the criteria for which competitions clubs enter.

 

Were Alloa a Glasgow District rather than a Midlands District club, they would  have had to play in the BT Shield. That said, they confirmed the gulf in class between the two clubs, but, I have to say, by not looking after the ball properly, and by some poor choices, Cumnock failed to do themselves justice.

 

That really disappointed me more than the result.

 

  

Something Is Not Right About Edinburgh

This week in Scottish rugby is all about the lesser lights. Edinburgh will have the full professional game focus on them, as they ready themselves for their European Challenge Cup semi-final against Newport Gwent Dragons, at BT Murrayfield.

Before the quarter-finals, the suspicion was: Cardiff Blues to edge-out the Dragons, with the London Irish v Edinburgh clash too close to call, but, with the Irish as marginal favourites. Then the two underdogs won.

Of the two, the Dragon were the more-impressive winners, but, that said, you would still fancy, Edinburgh, with home advantage, to win. Not any more.

There is something amiss in the Edinburgh dressing room. Yes, as they showed in the second leg of the 1872 Cup, they can get fired-up, then go out and defy the odds and expectations. But, as they demonstrated last time out, against Munster - they can just as easily under-perform.

Of course the performance against Munster was disappointing. I put this down to two factors:

1. With the best will in the world, Ross Ford never has been and never will be the sort of inspirational captain you need when you are up against it. A sort of David Sole, Jim Aitken or Fin Calder character who could gather his side around him and say: "Look, I know we are up against it here, but, there is no way we are going to lose to this lot", and get a positive reaction.

2. When you are being repeatedly shafted by a referee, as Edinburgh were against the men from Cork and Limerick, it is very difficult to keep going. "Why bother, he's going to favour them whatever we do", is an easy mind set to fall into. That said, the right captain as in point one, can mitigate against point two coming into play.

Put simply, Edinburgh NEED Mike Coman's Kiwi hard-headedness against the Dragons, and the rest of the team need to buy into this.

Also, Edinburgh's squad definitely lacks depth and quality. This has to be down to the management at Murrayfield. You would imagine the club which should have first call on the talent from the Borders and Edinburgh, would have a few more guys playing for the jersey than they have.

Edinburgh have not recruited as well as Glasgow in recent years and that failing is now costing them big time. We do not have huge numbers in Scotland and the fact is, not enough of what little native talent we have is playing at Edinburgh.

Take one component of the team, the midfield.

The Scotland pecking order at ten from first-choice down, and assuming everyone is fit, is:
Finn Russell
Duncan Weir or Rhauridh Jackson
Peter Horne
Greig Tonks
Tom Hethcote

at centre it probably is:
two from Mark Bennett, Alex Dunbar and Matt Scott
Duncan Taylor
Sean Lamont
Peter Murchie
Richie Vernon

You see from the above, Edinburgh's number one number ten is only ranked the fourth-best available to Vern Cotter, while the capital club has only one player in the top seven (some might say the only seven) potential international centres we have to call on.

At Glasgow, Gregor Townsend has seven front-line centres available to him, of these, only numbers six and seven, James Downey and Conor Braid are not Scotland-qualified. Across in Edinburgh, Matt Scott is the only Scotland-qualified centre on the roster, Messers Dominguez, Beard, Bezuidenhout, Strauss, Burleigh and Atiga are "cheap foreign imports".

Why was this imbalance allowed to happen? It does little for Scottish or Edinburgh rugby.

I wish Edinburgh well on Friday night, but, I have grave doubts about their ability to see off a Dragons team who have timed their season nicely.



BUT, enough of this doom and gloom about our professional game. Saturday will be all about the club game, with Cup Finals Day, at Murrayfield. I intend looking more closely at the competing clubs as the week draws on.     

We Must Sort-Out Our Season and Sevens' Place In It

Cricket, in this country at least, is suffering a crisis of confidence - or something, at the moment. The seemingly unstoppable rise of the limited overs form of the game is, according to the traditionalists, harming the genuine three, four or five-day form of the game.

The need to score quickly has, apparently, seen a diminution in (in particular) batsmen's ability to craft the big 100-runs-plus score; while bowlers today do not have the stamina to bowl long spells.

This cuts little ice, particularly in the Indian sub-continent, where razz-mataz has made the IPL one of the richest leagues in sport.

But, that's cricket's problem. Something different has happened in rugby, particularly in Scotland.

Here we are in April, the sun is out, the pitches are dry and firm, the weather is perfect for playing French-style champagne rugby. Yet, what are most of Scotland's thousands of amateur players doing - virtually nothing.

Because April is Sevens month.

Tomorrow is the Holy Grail of the short game - the Melrose Sevens, when, apparently, everyone and his granny descends on the wee town, nestling in the less of the Eldon Hills, where, back in the days of Empire and Victoria, a butcher named Ned Haig invented the short game.

Nothing against Melrose, I enjoy the craic with the 'Rose lads during the season, the way they have kept their team at the  top deserves credit, as, even more, does the way they have protected the name, legacy and aura of the Melrose Sevens, while,  it has to be admitted, the allure of the other Borders teams' "sports" has faded somewhat.

But, in all honesty, I ask: is putting so-much attention on one single event, in the best interests of Scottish rugby as a whole in these 21st century days? 

At one time, April was Sevens Month. The Borders circuit - Gala, Melrose, Hawick, Langholm then Jedforest was the main event, but, there were circuits in the other Scottish regions. In Glasgow, if memory serves me correct, it was something like Greenock Wanderers, Glasgow University, Ayr, Alan Glen's, with the Kilmarnock and the Easter Glasgow Academicals events - a sort of poor little rich boys Melrose-lite invitation event, also on the cards.

But, in recent years, and more-so since professionalism, with its need to lengthen the season to increase the potential cash take, Sevens has rather withered.

Attendances are down at the other Borders events, even though the Borders circuit has now been expanded to ten events, with the King of the Sevens title up for grabs for the best overall team across the ten events.

Elsewhere, the local sevens events, if they are still running, are a pale shadow of what they once were.

Now comes the problem. Melrose is the jewel in the crown; the traditionalist in me believes this tournament should, must, be maintained. The question is, how to do this, and, more-importantly, how do we preserve Sevens in its heartland?

Because, preserve it we must. We have to remember, after its introduction into the Olympic "family" at Rio next year, the likelihood is that Sevens will become THE global face of rugby.

Just as, thanks perhaps to the IPL, biff-bang-bosh T20 cricket has become the most-popular variant of the game, there is a chance Sevens will become the most-popular variant of rugby.

There already is an extensive global Sevens circuit; thanks to the differing seasons north and south of the equator, there is not yet a global 15-a-side circuit. Countries such as Fiji and Samoa are far-more-competitive in Sevens than in 15-a-side, likewise, lesser nations (in 15-a-side terms) such as Kenya have made an impact in the short game.

The SRU are, we hear, considering disbanding their sevens squad, just at the time this form of the game is about to take-off. Some try to justify this by pointing-out: "Ireland doesn't play it". Methinks, Ireland just might start competing once the Olympics kick-off.

Of course, we must accept, as things stand, the GB sevens squad in Rio will probably be an England-plus one, with little, if any, Scottish involvement; this need not always be the position.

As the place where sevens began, we have to defend our font of the game status in sevens. It does not help that the Glasgow leg of the IRB world sevens circuit is about to vanish, but before we properly defend Scottish sevens, we must have a plan, a strategy, a long-term goal.

This comes down to a complete re-vamp of our season; an acceptance at Murrayfield that, there is more to Scottish rugby than the two professional sides.

We have faffed about for too-long, let's sort things out - and we could start with the sevens.

Great Semi-Final - Let's Hope The Final Can Surpass This

WOW! The Ayr v Melrose BT Premiership play-off semi-final was a cracker.

 

We had some great tries, from both sides, total commitment, from both teams, and, at the end, Melrose had earned the right to defend their Scottish title against Heriot's, at Goldenacre, on 25 April.

 

I wish them well in what will surely be a very difficult game, but, if John Dalziel's men can show the grit they displayed in coming from behind at Millbrae, they can secure back-to-back titles.

 

From experience, I am well aware of how closely-matched these two clubs are, and this was again demonstrated on Saturday. Ayr and Melrose have been in the vanguard of club rugby in Scotland for a number of years now, but, while it might be argued these are the two most-consistent clubs sides of recent years, they are not head-and-shoulders above the competition.

 

In winning the Cup last season, Heriot's showed they were contenders, Gala might have slid a wee bit in the second half of this season, but, it will be foolish to write-off the Braw Lads.

 

As Gala slumped, Hawick, after a difficult start, began to flourish under Nikki Walker and, regardless of which side you support, you have to be pleased to see the Greens back in contention after some poor seasons. Scottish rugby needs a strong Hawick.

 

Boroughmuir are Hawick's cup-final opponents. This club too took a wee while to get going this season, but came good. In fact, I would say, we now have a lot of good, capable sides in the top flight.

 

The club game in Scotland is in good nick. Would somebody please tell our esteemed Director of Rugby and the other Murrayfield "suits" who seem to think Edinburgh and Glasgow are the only game in town how good the BY Premiership really is.

 

But, we cannot be complacent. The format for the season needs to be tweaked; we need to have our top clubs playing in the British & Irish Cup; we need to sort-out the protocol surrounding the "ordinary" as opposed to "first-pick" and "development"  professionals playing in the Premiership.

But, for this to happen, Mr Dodson, Mr Johnson and Co have to be made aware of just how important the club game is to the overall health of Scottish Rugby.

And - WE NEED TO GET THIS SEMI-PROFESSIONAL LEAGUE UP AND RUNNING.

 

 

Goodbyee, Goodbyee

IT HAS been a week for goodbyes being announced around Scottish rugby. Firstly, there was the not unexpected news that big Al Kellock would hang-up his boots at the end of the season.

 

The big man, just might, with a wee bit of luck, go out at the top, leading Glasgow to victory in the Pro12. It will not be easy, but, it is far from impossible and what a terrific end to a great career it would be.

 

Of course, Al will not be completely lost to the game and, as an ambassador for Scottish rugby, plus a specialist coach for our many excellent, promising young locks, I am sure he will do very well.

 

Then there was the loss of Geoff Cross's beard. ZZ Prop is no more, with the Wooden Spoon Society benefiting to the tune of some £10,000 after the good doctor shaved the facial fuzz. Well done Geoff.

 

 

 

TOMORROW sees a trio of crucial matches in the BT Premiership, with Heriot's entertaining Currie at Goldenacre and Ayr hosting Melrose at Millbrae in the Play-Off Semi-Finals. Then, up at Old Anniesland, Hawks and Stirling County will go head-to-head in the final regular season match of the campaign.

 

What happens could not be clearer: the victors will definitely be in the top flight next season, the losers will have one last chance to retain their top league status, via the promotion-relegation play-off.

 

I am, most-certainly, biased when it comes to the two semi-finals. I want Ayr to beat Melrose, and I would love to see Currie upset the odds and win at Goldenacre - this follows Phil Smith's petty action in citing Ross Curle after the Ayr v Heriot's league game last month.

 

Can Currie do it? Yes, I think they can. And, to return to the Millbrae match; this one will probably go down to the wire and be won by a single score - these two teams are very closely-matched and the one which wants it more will win.

 

The same could be said about the Old Anniesland match-up. Both Hawks and County have upset more-highly-rated teams this season. Both have lost matches they probably ought to have won. Both will be up for the match tomorrow and, again, it will all come down to desire.

 

 

 

SUNDAY sees Edinburgh in Reading to take-on London Irish in the European Challenge Cup. Alan Solomons' men have shown a consistency in Europe which they have lacked in the Pro12. If they can be "European" rather than "Domestic" Edinburgh, then they can give the English as big a shock as the Nippy Sweetie did in the TV debate last night.

 

I know, they are playing "London Irish", but, I think Irish have more Scottish players: Cross, Cowan, Lowe, than Irish ones, and they are, due to being in the Aviva Premiership, obliged to have most of their squad "England-qualified".

 

Apropos London Irish - I would love to see the Scottish, Irish and Welsh Unions sticking it to the English, by persuading their three London-based "Exiles" clubs to switch from the English Premiership to the Pro12. I am sure title sponsors Guinness would love to have three teams from greater London playing in their league.

 

It wouldn't be a cheap option, but, I think it would pay dividends for the league.