Shite - But WE Know We Are

WILLIAM Leckie, successor to the late and much-lamented Willie Hunter as the greatest Paisley writer - mind you, any competition in which Andra Neil is the only competition isn't much of a competition - has a favourite Tartan Army story.

Bill was enjoying corporate hospitality after the England v Scotland European Championship game at Wembley in 1996 when, some 30 minutes after the final whistle, the massed ranks of the Tartan Army were allowed out of the stadium.

They had just seen their team lose in heart-rending circumstances, but were they downcast? Of course. Were they intent on wreaking havoc in London?

No, they were singing: "We're Shite, and we know we are". That's chutzpah, in spades.

Sadly. nothing in the intervening years has altered the Tartan Army's view of their football team, while we in the oval ball-following regiment of the TA must surely concur, our rugby team too is shite - but at least we are self-aware.

And, post the Six Nations tournament, our self-awareness is, I would suggest, much more advanced than that of some of the other five countries.

The three Celtic countries and the French are revelling in all those 'England Grand Slam 2011' t-shirts, sweat shirts and the like now being dumped in land-fill sites. England tripping-up on the top step always makes the rest of us feel better about falling flat on our faces further down. But, with a World Cup looming, how are we fixed?

I actually am quite confident about Scotland's chances. True, we lack depth, in particular, if anything happens to "Chunk" Jacobsen, we're doomed, since we don't have another loose head. Staying clear on injuries will be crucial, but: I think we'll get a bit more from the referees in New Zealand and I do feel, we can qualify from our group.

I expect, as in most World Cups, England to have a crisis of confidence somewhere along the way, while I think we've maybe got the hex on Argentine. Mind you, given Scotland's experiences in football's World Cup, I wouldn't be surprised to see Chris Paterson having to kick a last-minute penalty to get us past Georgia.

England - deserved Six Nations Champions, but a long, long way from being the potential winners the Barbouratti and their venal press corps would have us all believe.

Ireland are a team on the downward slope. Their big players: BOD, POC and DOC in the second row, and ROG are not what they were, although BOD for one is still the best in his position in the world. They've got a back row which is as good as our Killer Bees at their best and Tommy Bowe is genuine world-class, but, like us, lack depth of squad.

Wales are genuinely shit. Look for an implosion there. Mind you, they've started early with the Shaun Edwards carry-on.

France - they'll either fall apart as spectacularly as their footballers did in South Africa last year, or they'll cruise through and win the damned thing. They don't even know.

Italy - like us, on their day a match for anyone, but lacking depth and liable to fall to bits under pressure.

No, New Zealand, if they can handle the expectations of a nation, will win on home soil. Otherwise, Australia, South Africa or France.