Chris Rattue Rattles Gatlandball

SHOCK Jocks have been around for years – radio djs or presenters who deliberately set-out to shock, or wind-up their audience. Some newspaper columnists might well be described as “shock hacks” - think of Katie Hopkins or Rod Liddle for instance.

In the specialist field of rugby journalism, however, nobody does it better than the New Zealand Herald's Chris Rattue – who has largely built a career on winding-up and pissing off Australians, Englishmen and Welshmen. This week, he turned his ire on a New Zealander with a strong Welsh connection – it was lovely, it was also, and this is typical Rattue - pish. Rattue, as ever, played it largely for laughs, but failed to answer Gatland's point.

He went on about arrogant All Blacks, not an accusation Gatland - himself of course a former AB - made; but, Rattue totally ignored the target Gatland had had a go at - arrogant All Blacks fans.

Cards on the table, I am not a Warren Gatland fan; never have been. I fear for the Lions, under Gatland's coaching in New Zealand next summer. Mind you, since the signs are, even if Vern Cotter was to sign-off as Scotland coach by winning a Grand Slam, Gatland will not be taking too-many Scots to his homeland next summer. Which could be good for Scotland.

Any way, Gatland made some not entirely unreasonable observations as regards a small percentage of the All Blacks support this week, which immediately got Chris Rattue on his case. Of course, there are arrogant All Blacks supporters, but, there are even more (in number and level of arrogance) arrogant South African supporters, a greater number still of England supporters, while, if the English are the worst losers in the world, well, nobody can come near the Welsh as the world's worst winners.

To be fair, further down the article, Rattue put the boot into this ludicrous "Scotland" Rugby League team, which nobody but Kevin Ferrie appears to take seriously. It was an uneven piece, let's hope Chris was merely warming-up for summer 2017 – the series could be fun.

“CHIC” Chalmers, last week, was bemoaning his beloved Melrose's lack of interest in being part of the re-born South team, which will shortly face Caledonia in a challenge match. I agree with him, I would love to see the re-birth of the old Inter-District Championship, bringing together the best players from the various Premiership and National League teams, and it is sad that Melrose, the standard-bearers for South rugby, has chosen to remain aloof from this match.

If nothing else, such a series might help select the Scotland Club XV – and, by the way, can I make a case for the SRU putting greater resources behind that XV. Get them more games, and, why not an amateur or more-accurately semi-professional Six Nations. I reckon our guys would have a chance, after all, they beat England and Ireland last season.

ONE of the busiest and hardest-working of the young guns who man Scottish rugby's press boxes these days said, earlier this season: “Old Aristotle picks his nose, then scratches his arse and what comes out, be prints in his blog”. Such erudite praise from one so young.

Anyway, with the increasingly football-obsessed mainstream media in Scotland paying less and less attention to rugby, and missing a lot of good stories in the process, rugby needs an online presence which compliments the propaganda of the official SRU sites.

It is for this reason that I will continue to champion The Offside Line, the excellent rugby news website presided over by big David Barnes. I think big Barney is doing a wonderful job and I cannot recommend his site too-highly.

This week he started a serialisation of Jeff Connor's unpublished account of the 2005 Lions Tour to New Zealand – 'One Knight, Forty-Five Lions – With Sir Clive Woodward In New Zealand'; if the other chapters match-up to the opener, we are in for a right good read over the coming weeks.

Please, I urge you, support The Offside Line, it can be accessed at: https://theoffsideline.com

I SEE Langilangi Haupeakui, Warriors' new American back-row forward has escaped further punishment, following his red card against Treviso on Friday – a Guinness PRO12 disciplinary panel having decided neither yellow card was justified.

If he can tweak his tackling style, so as to make it clear he is trying to wrap his arms round as he hits, he will quickly put the fear of God into opponents – he already looks awesome going forward with ball in hand.

Seeming Langi's “showreel” DVD of his biggest hits and best runs is an awesome viewing. Posibly another inspired signing by Glasgow, only time will tell.