Aristotle Armstrong

Aristotle Armstrong
The thrawn, alternative voice of Scottish Rugby

Sunday, 12 December 2021

Friday Finnsanity Was A Joy To Behold

FINN RUSSELL must have been good at Franklin Gardens on Friday night – because the English media, even Austin Healey, were wetting themselves in appreciating his performance.


Even on the few occasions he messed-up, 'Finnsanity' was still worth watching. I almost felt sorry for Dan Biggar, who, let's not forget, is also a class act, but, he looked like a Bum of the Month – up against Ali, as Finn wove his magic. I did not, however, feel sorry for Warren Gatland, whose judgement on playmakers was shown to be out-dated and fatally flawed.

Mind you, just as well for our Sassenach commentators that the brilliant Wenceslas Loret bagged that hat-trick; having to have given the Man of the Match award to a “Sweaty” might have been a step too far.

Twenty-four hours later, they did have to give the award to a Scot, after Jonny Gray bagged a hat-trick of tries for Exeter against Montpellier. This match was also notable for a belter of a try from Stuart Hogg, who dummied his way past four defenders to score – brilliant.




ALSO ON FRIDAY I received a Facebook rant from the Coach of a lowly but ambitious West Regional Leagues club. He had every right to be raging, at the number of lower league games which had been called-off due to “Covid.”

Yes, Covid is a fact of life at the moment, with no seeming end in sight to the pandemic, but, our man, as spikey a front rower as ever scrummaged had his doubts: “What are the odds of five games in the same league all being called off due to outbreaks of Covid – affecting only the AWAY teams?”

I'll just leave that question hanging there.

In the Regional Leagues, you only need 12 players to have a game played. Methinks some clubs are using Covid to cover-up an unwillingness to play.

If that's the case, maybe we should be applying 28-0 defeats earlier in the game-off process.

Or, as I have been suggesting for some time – should we be going to Summer Rugby?




EVEN some respected, experienced and knowledgable fellow rugby writers doubted my view, when I told them pre-match: “Edinburgh can beat Saracens – IF their pack does its job.”

I followed the BBC's text coverage on-line and their London-based reporter kept praising the performance of the visiting pack. You didn't have to be anything other than an experienced rugby watcher to know, Edinburgh had the superior front row and it all stemmed from there.

I've been saying for years, Mako Vunipola cannot scrummage, he has got away with murder for years with Gallagher Premiership referees. No way could I see him coping with WP Nel.

On the other side, releasing Vincent Koch to join Wasps was a definite mistake, particularly with Pierre Schoeman coming calling. In the end, it came down to a superb defensive display from Edinburgh and a well-deserved win.

Of course, the BBC London report gave no credit to Edinbu7rgh, it was all about Sarries' failings. Plus ca change.




I AM, in my dotage, becoming a connoisseur of what I call “red-top tabloid rugby journalism.” This sub-genre of our job is best viewed on-line, via some of the hysterical stuff you read from sites such as Rugby Pass and Rugby Onslaught.

But, when it comes to myopic shite, as a general rule, even allowing for the absolute madness of some South African rugby fans, you cannot beat those good ole boys on Wales Online. This week they are bemoaning the fact, after several years of being a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Welsh Rugby Union, Dragons are still shite.

Maybe Welsh rugby is where we were years ago – they simply don't have enough quality players to sustain four full-time professional sides. If this is the case, and there is some justification for holding that belief, maybe they should do what the SRU did, and revert to two or three clubs only.




FIRST reports I have received inform me of “carnage” in Hawick last night, as The Bill McLaren Shield came home. Apparently there was an ABBA tribute group on at Hawick RFC. So, the night was a definite case of: the winner takes it all; I hope somebody said: thank you for the music; I trust the Super Trouper lights were shining; I have just a notion, Hawick's Dancing Queens were all out in force, etc., etc.

The Tennent's Premiership now goes into cold storage until the New Year, but, after Saturday's games, it will be a major surprise, when hostilities resume, if the current top four – Currie, Marr, Hawick and Edinburgh Accies do not go on to contest the play-offs.

Fourth-placed Accies have an 11-point cushion over fifth-placed Glasgow Hawks. OK, Hawks have a game in hand, but, even if they win that one, they still would have a huge gap to bridge in only five games.

As in almost any sport you care to mention, the real battle is in the league below – National League One. Heriot's Blues currently lead, but, Biggar are charging, as are Gala, who have games-in-hand. Teh run-in here promises to be really tight and exciting. First game back in the New Year sees the Blues head to Netherdale.

What happens in that one will have a huge say in which team eventually goes up.




FINALLY, since my last post, about the ramifications of the ongoing governance debate, I have been telt on the quiet – The Junta are in full deflection mode, they don't like the idea of – even allowing for the proposed talents matrix being introduced – the clubs having the final say in who gets to be measured for the SRU suits, and in particular, who gets to be The Custodians.

Prepare for the usual suspects being rolled out, to tell us we should leave that choice to the experts, inside the BT Murrayfield tent – you know, the big top we refer to as: “The EH12 circus – where the clowns are in-charge.”









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