For Once, I Am With The Celtic Family - You Can Shove Your Coronation Up Your Erse

I CAN just about remember the last Coronation. We didn't have a television then – the Old Man wasn't a fan, being very much a Scottish Home Service radio listener. However, the next-door neighbours did have a set, so we went in there to watch the ceremony.

Mind you, we kids in the street were in and out all day. The actual ceremonials inside the Abbey did little for us, but, we enjoyed the pageantry of the huge parade. Indeed, I can still remember one of the jokes of the day.

Queen Salote of Tonga, who, like most Tongans was “A big wummin” delighted the crowds by ignoring the rain and travelling in an open carriage, which she shared with a smaller Asian gentleman – some Malaysian Tunku or other from memory. The joke was, when the cameras caught them, someone, watching in some part of central London asked: “Whose that with the Queen of Tonga?” Legend has it Noel Coward, who was in the room, remarked: “Probably her lunch.” Wonderful thing English humour.

Any way, our wee village held a Coronation Gala Day, at the local football ground. I dimly recall briefly looking in, in time to see one of my mates winning the prize for Best Costume – as 'A Modern Miner.'

We also, all the kids at the local Primary School, were given a tin box, like a pencil case, full of Cadbury's chocolate. The Old Man, one of the handful of locals who would admit to voting Tory – although he was a Scottish Unionist Party member, rather than a Conservative, also bought a commemorative coronation book, which I still have.

The United Kingdom of 1953 was a lot more united than the country is in 2023 – memories of the War were still fresh, and we had survivors of both World Wars all around us. So, I can confidently say, even if we had still been playing rugby in May back in 1953 – no games would have been scheduled for 2 June, 1953 – the date of the big show for Lizzie Windsor.

Fast forward nearly 70 years and – certainly in Scotland – there is no appetite for a total shut-down on normal life, so we can all, even through the medium of television viewing, watch Chuck Windsor plonk his erse on that auld cludgie stane..

I mean, the lack of respect, even those nasty neo-Republicans in AUOB (All Under One Banner) have arranged a pro-Independence march through the streets of Glasgow, to clash with the big parade down in London.

But really, is Mark Dodson so certain his CBE is secure (I think a K would be a step too far) that he could sanction Silver Saturday to clash with The Coronation? Just as the Old Man was prepared to face-down the massed ranks of Labour-voting cannon fodder locally, and admit to voting Tory (or at least for a party which would take the Tory whip at Westminster), well, I'm prepared to face-down the many Proud Scots But – BPHB (that's the Bonnie Purple Heather Brigade) members we find around Scottish Rugby and admit to being in-favour of Independence. So, I applaud the SRU's decision to go ahead with their big day in opposition to Charles and Camilla's Big Day Out.

Mind you, typically of the SRU, they've got it wrong. They have rolled over and given way to their Irish and South African overlords, by allowing THE big game of the weekend – the Glasgow Warriors v Munster BKT United Rugby Championship quarter-final to be scheduled on the same day as their club cup finals.

Seven games are being played on the main and back pitches at Murrayfield today, involving 14 clubs: that's a lot of rugby fans moving around Scotland today.

The spread of the clubs who have made it to the big day is interesting: Seven are from Glasgow and the West of Scotland; Four are from Caledonia; Two are from Edinburgh, with only Hawick representing the Borders – the supposed powerhouse of Scottish rugby – aye, it's Aye Been like this.

I just wonder how the date clash will impact on the attendance at Scotstoun tonight.

We really need to be marketing rugby better than we currently do. The SRU, to my mind, are seriously lacking in marketing nous and ability. At the very-least, the Glasgow game should have been played on Friday night – if for no other reason, by scheduling the URC game against Silver Saturday, they've managed to fuck-up the wonderful Hugh Dan's last hurrah at Scotstoun.

Hugh Dan had to choose between commentating on the Sara Beaney Cup final and being at Scotstoun. It's a choice he should never have had to make.

SPEAKING OF tonight's big quarter-final at Scotstoun: received wisdom has it that the host team is more-likely than not to win such games. However, if any team will be up to end Glasgow's long run of home wins, then that side is surely Munster.

I feel the guys under real pressure in this one will be the third team – thee match officials. Because, you could bet the farm on Peter O'Mahony and his troops being prepared to stretch the Laws to the limits and beyond to win.

Once upon a time, you could confidently predict that Munster would win the forward battle, and gradually wear down Glasgow, to prevent their better backs from dominating the game.

That is no longer the case, however, I honestly reckon Glasgow has to build a big enough lead, when the starting XVs are on the park, to stymie the Munster come-back in the final quarter.

I do like the look of the Glasgow squad, which is: Jamie Bhatti, Johnny Matthews, Zander Fagerson, Scott Cummings, Richie Gray, Matt Fagerson, Rory Darge, Jack Dempsey; George Horne, Tom Jordan; Kyle Steyn (Captain), Stafford McDowall, Sione Tuipulotu, Sebastian Cancelliere; Ollie Smith. Replacements: Fraser Brown, Nathan McBeth, Simon Berghan, JP du Preez, Lewis Bean, Siona Vailanu, Ali Price, Huw Jones.

That team, particularly if Matt Fagerson, Rory Darge and Jack Dempsey can gain the upper hand in the back row battle, can keep this wonderful Glasgow season going.