Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

IF, LIKE ME, you are into Rugby Union and have too-much time on your hands, squandering that time on Facebook, you will know that McFly is the inspiration for our game's keyboard warriors. It's All About You is the benchmark for too-many England, New Zealand, South Africa, Wales and Ireland fans – whose songs of praise to their favured nation leave me wondering: who are they trying to convince, us or themselves?

For instance, The Little Englanders, emboldened by third place in the recent Rugby World Cup and having beaten the two weakest teams in the Guinness Six Nations are now flexing their muscles and looking forward to Grand Slam 2024.

Aye Right! Start dreaming after you beat us in two week's time – which I don't think is going to happen. I admit, there is the makings of a half-decent team in that England squad, but, they will need a Head Coach with a bit more about him than Steve Borthwick, and a major sea change in attitude – England simply do not have enough X-factor players to make a differencde at Tier One Rugby Union level.

I actually fell asleep during the second half of England v Wales on Saturday, the game was that interesting. I gather the RFU is looking at ways of making a trip to Twickenham more enjoyable; cranking-up the music during breks in play, having the England team do the Rugby Union equivalent of boxing's ring walk, through the West Car Park and so on.

Here's a notion, they can have for free. Why not try playing entertaining, running rugby, instead of kicking the ball up in the air and chasing it? You never know, it might work, or at least catch-on.

Mind you, that would call for a revolution in English rugby, after all, the great David Duckham, perhaps the most-vibrant running attacker England ever had, saw more of the ball in his 16 games on the 1971 Lions Tour than he saw in 36 games for England. He scored six tries in one game for the Lions, 11 tries on the entire tour – for comparison, he scored ten tries in 36 games for England.

England has gone to war with, or fought in 171 different countries, but, with all that military history, English military strategy has devised just three memorable items:

1. The Infantry Square

2. Trench warfare

3. Concentration camps.

The English don't really do elan, not since Bannockburn and the way the English cavalry perished on Scottish schiltrons. They prefer lengthy wars of attrition, which doesn't always work in Rugby Union. Let's hope they stick to type when they arrive at Murrayfield on 24^th February. I remain confident of our chances against them.

England 2024 are a poor team – can we devise a fresh way of letting them beat us?

YOU HAVE TO wonder about the thought processes of the new Italian Coach Gonzalo Quesada. I didn't think Italy were that bad in losing at home to England. Ok, it was only England that beat them, but, I feel the Argentinian perhaps overdid it somewhat with the number of changes he made for yesterday's visit to Dublin.

Yes, they lost badly to what was not a full-strength Irish side, but, if they were a poor second to England, they were never at the races against Ireland, who, in winning with so-many back-up men starting, demonstrated the depth they now have.

The stand-out performance of the day in Dublin, however, came from eight year old Stevie Mulrooney, who brought the house down with a fantastic rendition of Ireland's Call pre-match. After that, anything in the actual match was pushing for second place.

The lesser side being “nilled”is fairly common in meetings between Tier One and Tier Two nations, but, you don't see many such one-sided results in the Six Nations. Preventing the Irish from securing back-to-back Grand Slams is already looking like a tall order.

OUR INTERNATIONALISTS are back to the purritch and auld claes of the BKT United Rugby Championship this weekend. I dare say one or two of the automatic picks will be stood down for the two games involving the bulk of our national squad – Edinburgh at Zebre Parma and Glasgow at home to Dragons; while others will be anxious to show Gregor Townsend they are ready for the big show, should the call come.

To be honest, even minus some “stars” these are games our two sides ought to win. Let's hope they can show the national side how to do it, by taking charge and not letting-up – playing for 80 minutes, rather than just 20, 30 or 40.

FINALLY – Rugby Union might have problems, such as properly using the TMO, but, what about the NFL? All that pre-game publicity work, flying back from Japan for the game – then they don't give Taylor Swift the MVP award – shocking mysoginy.

To make amends, here's a picture to keep all the 'Swifties' happy.