A LAYMAN'S GUIDE to sports-writing: There are three types of match reports:
The Runner: a strictly factual description of the run of play, penned “on the hoof”, as the game unfolds before you.
The Wrap: a more-reflective piece, iuncluding post-match quotes from players and coaches, written after the final whistle.
The Monday Piece: written for that morning's papers, going into the events of the game in greater depth, and reflecting on the fall-out from the game, such as, does this result mean the Manager is Toast.
This post is a sort of Monday Piece, being published on a Sunday. It is a sad reflection on the way the socio-political and religious battles of the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries continue to cause fault lines in civic Glasgow and the West of Scotland. This prevents the Second City of the Empire's two pre-eminent sporting institutions from being able to properly celebrate great victories in Europe, via the sort of open-topped-bus victotry tour which lesser cities, who also have two rival teams in the same sport, can regularly enjoy.
But, in Glasgow Warriors, after that magnificent triumph, in the BKT United Rugby Championship Grand Final, in Pretoria yesterday, The Dear Green Place now has a team the entire city, Billy, Tim, Angus, Yousaf, whoever, an get behind and whose victory ought to be celebrated.
If the city had people in charge capable of rational thought, there would be an open-topped-bus parade from the airport right into George Square, where the Lord Provost would be there to greet them. But, I somehow cannot see the stumble bums currently running the city being able to set this up. Mind you, if the entire team were suddenly to come out as “Trans” you never know what might be arranged for them.
Lisbon 1967 and Barcelona 1972 were brilliant victories, but, nothing like as difficult as Pretoria 2024. Going into the spiritual home of South African Rugby, and beating the home-town Vodafone Bulls on their own cherished Loftus Versfeld pitch, that was a whole lot more difficult than beating Italian or Russian sides on neutral venues.
This was a wonderful display of Scottish smeddum. I don't mind admiting, I fervently hoped Warriors would win; I sensed they had it in them, but, beating the Bulls on their own patch, I honestly had my doubts if the team could do it. Oh Me of little faith.
The rational reasoning is, this game was yet another example of one of sports oldest unwritten rules: the team that wins “the final before the final never wins the actual final”.
From a Scottish Perspective, the best example of this was the European Cup of 1970, where Celtic beat Leeds United in a Battle of Britain semi-final which the world and his uncle felt ought to have been the final, only to crash and burn against the unrated Dutchmen of Feyenoord in the actual final a few weeks later.
This year, all the talk was that Bulls' semi-final against an international-stacked Leinster was worthy of being the final, and, having downed the Dubs, Bulls only had to beat unrated Glasgow, a team they had beaten, on the same ground, just a month previously. Whatever is the Afrikans for “skoosh case”, in the eyes of the Bulls' adoring Boer fans, this was it.
They sold-out the 52,000-capacity Loftus Versfeld in five days, but, come the final blast of Referee Andrea Piardi's whistle, around 51,000 of those fans were streaming home in tears, leaving the small knot of travelling Warriors' fans, plus the usual scattering of ex-pat Scots to enjoy their victory.
Mind you, I must say, the reaction of the disappointed Bulls' fans on social media has been an object lesson in respecting Kipling's views on those twin imposters. Respect.
No Starkie No Party - Warrior #14 Derek Stark and his mates enjoy the victory in Pretoria
So, what does this win mean for Warriors? Well, straight away, they might as well print a big target on the back of next season's shirts. It's one thing to beat Glasgow, quite something else to beat Glasgow – the URC Champions. Every team, particularly the Irish and South African sides in the URC, will be coming for them next season.
The big-money English and French sides will be looking afresh at the likes of Josh McKay, Sione Tuipulotu, the Fagerson Brothers, Rory Darge, George Horne and Scott Cummings as potential recruits, while this win has also increased the earning potential of Coach Franco Smith and Defence Coach Peter Murchie.
The vocal Sack Toonie faction in the body of the Scottish Rugby “kirk” is already calling for Smith to be promoted to the top job at Murrayfield. I too would not mind seeing the popular South African decamp along the M8, but not yet – Glasgow still has a European mountain to climb, but, I think he might be the ideal man to fill that awkward hole for a Director of Rugby at EH12.
The team will return from South Africa, then there will be, for some, a well-earned holiday. Zander Fagerson, who was immense in his 80 minute shift on Saturday, and one or two others, have earned their summer holidays, while others will go straight into the Scotland squad's pre-tour camp, prior to their trip to the Americas next month. Rugby Union, like Association Football is now an all-year-round game at the professional level.
I think the flights home from Pretoria might be a series of mile-high parties, and deservedly so. These young men have done Scotland and the city proud. They are not all Weegies, but, the imports such as Sebastian Cancilliere – rapidly closing on Diego Maradona as Glasgow's most=popular Argentinian, have, particularly after his victory, been clasped in the city's warm embrace.
We will probably never see Rugby Union displace the Fitba as Glasgow's game of choice, but, if this victory persuades a handful of kids in places such as Castlemilk, Drumchapel, Easterhouse or Govan to swap the round ball for the oval one, it will indeed have been monumental.
Lewt's enjoy the triumph, but, just as Franco Smith told his men after then knocked over reigning champions Munster, there are greater challenges ahead – to build on this fantastic win and Let Glasgow Rugby Flourish.
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