Catch Them If You Can

BEING A NATIVE of God's County, albeit born and now living in what is perceived as the erse end of Ayrshire, I was naturally delighted at what we Stars o' Rabbie Burns describe as “The Evil Empire” triumphed in Saturday's Arnold Clark Premiership Grand Final. At half-time, you feared for Watsonians, but, with the help of a yellow card, they got a finger-hold in the second period and the final result was nowhere near as dire as it might have been.

But, it was Ayr's day and in becoming the first club to take possession of the brand new championship trophy, they set, albeit with the help of this season having a 12-club Premiership, statistical records which may never be beaten:

• Total points scored – 1102

• Total points conceded – 308

• Average score over 24 games – 46-13

• Total number of tries scored – 174

• Average number of tries per game – 7.25

These are numbers which even the “Green Machine” Hawick teams of legend would have craved.

This has been very-much a team effort: Head Coach Grant Anderson leads an off-field team, all of whom – the likes of Frazier Climo, Pat McArthur, Craig Gossman, Gordon Kotze, Dougie Stanley, Dean Kelbrick etc have been over the course in pink and black before. On the field, Blair Macpherson led a team, most of whom came through the Super Rugby experience, who knew how to win; while the youngsters in the backs have seized the moments when they arrived – as was shown by those first-half tries on Saturday.

It appears that Franco Smith is unconvinced of Richie Simpson's potential, or abilities. While I would prefer to see him getting regular game time with Warriors, Simpson at ten for Ayr next season could give this already good side something extra. That said, the seriously under-rated Bobby Beattie did a cracking job in the ten shirt this season.

If Ayr was the big winner on Satrday, the big losers were the SRU's Club Rugby Board and the Competitions Committee, who again showed - The Murrayfield Junta couldnae run a menauge.

The television pictures showed as good a crowd inside Millbrae as I have seen. They got a good day for it, the two clubs were up for it – but, it could and should have been so-much more.

There are four Arnold Clark branches in and around Ayr. The sponsors might well have liked the opportunity to showcase some of their models around Millbrae on the big day. CRB member Kevin Quinn, from Marr, had the honour of presenting the medals and trophy on the day. I reckon that was an evil move by SRU Honcho Keith Wallace, but, might I suggest, given the money they have put into the competition, a High Heid Yin from Clarks should have done the honours.

I have already suggested, The Junta didn't sell this game as well as they might have. The SRU has to up their game greatly, right across the board. This is a subject which I intend to examine more closely over the close season.

Given the mainstream media in Scotland's overwhelming obsession with Fitba, Scottish Rugby has to be grateful for any broadcast publicity, such as games like this being on BBC Alba, but, this is definitely a sop, we should be getting more mainstream broadcasting exposure than the odd outing on Alba.

I have long maintained, the SRU should be setting-up and running their own TV channel, across the game in Scotland – but, that would require hiring more-competent journalists than they have thus far.

The best rugby-writing and broadcasting talent in Scotland is outside the tent pissing in – a competent governing body would have one or two inside the tent pissing out, or, would at least be asking some of the media silverbacks:

• What are we doing wrong

• What should we be doing that we are not currently

• Will you help us

We want things to be better – do the guys in the SRU blazers – or are they in it for themselves?

Any way, this weekend belongs to Ayr and I am delighted for their own Silverbacks, guys such as Speedy, both Big Brians, Cannonball, Gary, Big Eck, Alistair Mac, not forgetting Millbrae's answer to Jack and Victor – Norrie and Auld Auchlin, plus, of course, the man who organises it all – Billy McHarg. Enjoy the deserved success guys.

FINALLY – Watsonians have been major players in Scottish Rugby since before we had an SRU, setting and maintaining standards many others have failed to match.

The logistics of Saturday did them no favours, it speaks volumes about SRU incompetence that one of the Establishment clubs should be so handicapped going into the biggest club game of the season, when the odds were already against them.

They battled hard, but it was a game too far for them. I did, in particular, feel for Neil Irvine-Hess, a player I have always admired, going out not only to defeat, but figuratively on his shield.

My old mate Davie Wells, a guid New Cumnock boay, whose footballing talent took him out of the pits into Ally MacLeod's great Ayr United team and onto a Scotland Under-23 cap. Davie had a measure of a player he would be happy to play beside. Davie would say: “He'd be in my team at Kilbirnie.”

The Rugby Union equivalent might be: “He'd be in my team at Hawick” - in which case, Neil would be one-third of my back row.