LET'S GET THE ELEPHANT in the room out of the way immediately. On 15 June, 1996, England beat Scotland 2-0 at Wembley, in a group game at UEFA's Euro '96 Championships. This victory reinforced the narrative of the England fans, that football was coming home.
While the England fans celebrated, The Tartan Army, held back in the stadium by the Metropolitan Police's crowd control plans, once released, “celebrated” as only they could, marching out of the stadium singing: “We're shite – but we know we are.”
Thirty years on, they were still singing that song as they departed Miami's Hard Rock Stadium, after Brazil had ended another Scottish championships dream. The Tartan Army might be Football's ultimate party animals, but, unlike the England fans, they don't have delusions of adequacy on the global stage.
Euro '96 was supposed to be about ending 30 years of hurt for the English, of in some cases, a failure to even qualify for the big show. Instead, it was another failure. A further 30 years on and nothing has changed.
Egged-on by a Football press corps from Fleet Street, BBC and ITV, England expects, only to see those expectations dashed once more. The post-mortem will be brutal, although, they do have a handy scapegoat lined up – by the time the English media has finished its review, poor old Thomas Tuchel might well be looking for his next gig.
The difference between Scotland's Tartan Army and England's Barmy one is quite simple: We Scots are following a shite team, but we know and accept this; England are also following a shite team, arguably providing a higher quality of shite, but the essential fact – they're not as good as they think they are - hasn't hit home yet.
To us, every tournament, be it the latest Euros or the World Cup, is an adventure, an excuse to party; to the English, it's an expedition to demonstrate that England is still a force in the Football World.
To be fair to our southern neighbours – England's average final position in the 15 World Cups since 1966 is Ninth. They have managed to qualify for 12 of the 15 tournaments since they won the thing, and in those 12 tournaments their finishing position has been:
5 – 7 – 8 – 4 – 9 – 7 – 8 – 15 – 26 – 4 – 7 – 3 or 4.
So, they have been genuine contenders (quarter-finals or further) in 9 of the 12 tournaments since 1966, but, no finals and only three semi-finals over those 60 years is hardly consistent evidence that, perhaps it might be coming home.
Over those 15 tournaments, the ten most-regular qualifiers are:
Brazil
Germany
Argentina
England
Spain
Italy
France
Netherlands
Sweden
Uruguay and Belgium
If you take their actual record – each nation's final finishing place at the World Cup over these 15 tournaments, the pecking order is:
Germany
Brazil
Argentina
Italy
France
Spain
England
Netherlands
Croatia
Poland
I compiled this table by awarding 100 points for each World Cup win, 90 for reaching the final, 80 and 70 for the third and fourth place finishers, down to 10 points for finishing tenth.
So, while England are ranked fourth when it comes to consistency of qualifying for the World Cup Finals, once they get there, they fail to justify their regular qualifying spot.
The English may hype their top division as: “Europe's Premier League”, but,the fact is: a single Spanish club – Real Madrid – has, since the formation of the Premier League, won the European Cup more times than all the Premier Lerague clubs combined. Over the years since the Premier League was formed in 1992-93 the European Cup has been won by the following nations:
Spain – 13 times: (Real Madrid 9 – Barcelona 4)
England – 7 times: (Liverpool, Manchester United, Chelsea 2 each – Manchester City 1)
Italy – 5 times: (AC Milan 3 – Juventus and Inter Milan 1 each)
Germany – 4 times: Bayern Munich 3 – Borussia Dortmund 1)
France – 3 times: (Paris St Germain 2 – Marseilles 1)
Netherlands – 1 win (Ajax)
Portugal – 1 win (FC Porto)
Therefore, whether we go on the national team's achievements or those of their clubs – who have multi-national playing staffs and very-few English managers – it has to be admitted – in the big competitions, England are eternal contenders, but relatively poor at converting that contenders status to that of winners.
One final point, of the England team which won in 1966, four players: goalkeeper Gordon Banks, left back Ray Wilson, left half Bobby Moore and centre forward Bobby Charlton were arguably the best in the world in their positions. Jimmy Greaves, who missed the final, also came into the conversation around the best finisher in the world at that time.
Seven or eight of the 1966 England squad, it could be argued, were the best player in their position in England's top league. At the 2026 World Cup, the best player in each position in the Premier League was playing for a nation other than England.
Maybe, if the English clubs, used more English players, they would have more players of international class available to the English national side.
That is their problem – England expects; but, their Great Expectations always crumble in the reality of elite international competition. Oh well! How sad! Never mind! There's always the next tournament.
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