A Great Cornishman

ALTHOUGH I BELIEVE passionately – Scotland would be better-off as an independent nation, freed from our obligations to bolster the English Establishment and their need to live off our energy and efforts – when I look at the terribly low standard of our current Scottish politicians, of all parties: I think, “naw, maybe we're better-off with Westminster.”

Maybe because I am A Baby Boomer – the generation born as a result of the euphoria of getting World War II out of the way, at this time of year, when England expects the entire UK to pin on poppies and luxuriate in the sacrifice of those who died for King and Country during the two global battles of the 20^th century. Now in the 20^th century we are expected to honour the Survivors of the PBI who fought for the fallacy that England still mattered in the post 1945 world.

Of course I will honour The Fallen, particularly since, as in so-many of England's many wars, ancient and modern, since 1707, The Jocks were generally in the vanguard, deployed where the battle was thickest and pro-rata, suffering the greater number of casualties.

I have no time for the middle class, public school educated doyens of English journalism, particularly their sports writers, but, there always have been Englishmen that I could look at and say: “I wish he was Scottish”.

We lost one last week with the passing of Richard Sharp – a fly half of extraordinary vision and quality, who, ironically for the subject of a tribute from a Scottish Rugby writer, is best-remembered for a try which he scored against us.

 

Of course, Sharp wasn't actually English – he was born in Bangalore, India, to Cornish parents, who moved back to their native county, where he was raised. So, Sharp was a Cornishman.

He learned his Rugby across the Tamar, at Blundells School, in Devon, before National Service with the Royal Marines. He then went up to Balliol College, Oxford, where, in winning his Blue in a 9-3 defeat of Cambridge, even the Glasgow Herald's correspondent had to admit, Sharp “completely out-classed” the great Ken Scotland in their personal head-to-head at Ten.

This display – which came after an injury-ravaged autumn, which had seen him play just three and a half games - helped get Sharp his England debut, as an 11th-hour replacement for Bev Risman, so late was his call-up that Sharp wasn't even mentioned in the match programme, however, he helped England score a somewhat surprising 14-6 win on their way to sharing the Five Nations Championship with France.

Yet, in all he would win only 14 caps for England, eventually becoming Captain.

In 1962, he became British and Irish Lion #422 when named in the squad to tour South Africa. The expectations were that he would be the Test 10, but he was brutally assaulted by Northern Transvaal centre Mannetjies Roux, whose head-high “tackle” would be a straight red card today. This broke Sharp's cheek bone, however, he stayed with the Lions and had recovered sufficiently to displace Scotland's Gordon Waddell for the final two Tests.

The following year, as England Captain, he scored that wonderful try which won England the Calcutta Cup game. That season, he scored an equally-impressive try in a rare English win in Cardiff, but, it was the Twickenham try against us which secured the Championship for the men in white.

After Oxford, he married Esther and took up a position, teaching Geography at Sherborne School, in Dorset. He turned outy occasionally for Bristol and the Barbarians, but, in truth, after Oxford, his professional commitments took precedence. Also, he was hardly in the English mould of kicking tens, he was always looking to run the ball, his cavalier style did not always find favour in the Twickenham committee room.

He later left teaching for a long career, back in Cornwall with English China Clay. He later returned to Rugby, covering matches for the Sunday Telegraph, while his service to the South West Sports Council helped him to an OBE.

Pre-deceased by Esther in 199, he lived out his 87 years in St Ives and is survived by sons Quentin and Jeremy, daughter Rachel and seven grand-children.

But his name will live on, long after those of us who marvelled at his style of running Rugby. Bernard Cornwell named the hero of his Napoleonic War adventures, brought to the screen by Sean Bean – Richard Sharpe, in honour of his favourite Rugby player.

Johnny Wilkinson may be the popular choice at ten in just about every All-Time England XV – I would still go with Sharp, he was that good.

 

My Weekend Wound Up

JUST ABOUT midway through the acapella segment of Flower of Scotland, as I felt the passion through my television, I had a worrying thought – that we just might do it this afternoon; my confidence wilted somewhat after that early New Zealand opening try – I knew then, it would be a long afternoon.

I thought, for this game, instead of my normal match review, I would write the piece on the Murrayfield match as conscious notes, taken as play unfolded; so, here goes:

D'Arcy Rae ripped Ethan De Groot a new one in the first three scrums, but got nothing for his trouble - concerning.

That was a superb defensive set by Scotland during that spell of New Zealand pressure in mid-half. We were under warning for repeated infringements, but, we forced the error by the visitors and earned a clearing penalty.

What a 50/22 by Finn to set up the Darcy Graham near try when he was held up.

Wonderful example of “Who Me?” from Leroy Carter after his trip on wee Darcy and his yellow card.

Some fantastic counter-rucking from New Zealand.

Soft second New Zealand try to end first half.

What did Toony say at half-time? That start to the second half was wonderful.

Surely that was a no-arms tackle by Roigard to stop Darcy Graham? (spoiler alert – it wasn't, as the excellent Craig Watson demonstrated in his photograph which was used by The Offside Line.)

Three yellow cards to New Zealand – all justified – but Nick Berry's name will be mud in New Zealand tomorrow.

What a 50/22 from Damien McKenzie to get New Zealand into the Scottish five-metre zone in 70 minutes in the build-up to the try he scored.

Five minutes to go – Tom Jordan on for Finn – will he be asked to kick a match-winning conversion in injury time?

Killed-off by a guy called McKenzie – how typically Scottish. I know, finding fresh ways to lose games is more the Scottish Football team than the Rugby one, but still – how like us. But, fair play to the ABs. This 2025 lot may not be vintage Kiwi, but, they remain a formidable team.

When the going gets tough – they get going.

Similarly, this may be a very-good Scottish vintage, but, we are still a wee bit off being a truly top-class team. We have some terrific players, good at most things, but, we still are let down at the very-highest level by basic skill failures.

Will I ever see us beat the All Blacks?

WELL – THAT TOOK longer than I had imagined it might, but, I let out my first “For Fuck Sake” fully nine minutes into the England v Fiji game. Maybe I am becoming mellow in my dotage, that the crass stupidity of the cheer-leaders commentating on an England game takes so long to get to me.

The cause of that eruption – good old reliable Austin Healey – trying to excuse a ridiculous peace of obstruction by England's double-barrelled-named Exeter winger: Fanny-Baws or whatever his name is.

Later a Fijian was yellow-carded for an aerial collission with Fanny-Baws. Immediately The Sprite was howling for a red card. Why is it that a man, capable of incensive and intelligent insights, becomes a total wanker when watching his precious Engurlund??? David Flatman, the other TNT Sport talking head is the same – usually capable of rational thought, a fan with a microphone when on-duty in an Engurlund game.

Any way, England did some good things in beating a talented Fijian side. The makings of a formidable English side is in there – Henry Arundell, as we have known since his days in their Under-20 side, is a generational talent; it says much about English Rugby that he is not one of the first names on the team sheet.

They insist, however, on picking players who are favourite sons, but not international class, and that gives the rest of us a chance.

THE BEST WAS saved till last, France v South Africa was a true Heavyweight contest. The Auld Alliance was evident as the French picked-up on our cue and produced a stirring acapella anthem to get things going.

I felt for Edinburgh's Boan Venter when Rassie hooked him after barely half an hour, it's a tough gig propping this Saffa scrum! Then came the red card to Lood de Jager and with France in front and the World Champions a man short for the second half, you worried for Slouth Africa.

Now, I am not going to use phrases such as: “cheese-eating surrender monkies”, but, had the positions been reversed and France gone a man down, I suspect South Africa would have put France to the sword, instead, an inspired second-half show, and some wonderful tries, got the Bokke home.

Just a couple of final thoughts, might RG Snyman be the best impact substitute – ever? And what a try from Grant Williams.

MY DAY started in Dublin, where my suspicions that the core of this current Irish squad are now going downhill faster than the Jamaican bob sleigh team and Andy Farrell, for all he is already feeding-in some youngsters, faces a major rebuilding job.

They got there in the end as Japan ran out of steam in the final quarter. On the basis of forwards winning games and the backs deciding, by how much; if Japan ever gets a truly big pack together, then their talented backs will make hay.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON meant decisions, decisions, did I watch Wales entertaining Argentina, or watch Rangers at Dundee? Either way it was a case of watching fallen giants trying to recover. In the end, I decided there was more uncertainty around the Rugby.

I stayed with it, until Los Pumas put clear water between the teams in the third quarter, then I switched to events at Dens Park, in time for a rather special third goal for the Breengers.

They are closer to recovery than the Welsh, albeit because they are facing less-stellar opposition. Steve Tandy has taken-on a big job in reviving Wales. He will need his own expertise as a Defence Coach, but, for me, Wales's biggest problem is in attack – they go backwards almost as quickly as Rangers did under Russell Martin.

 

Big Names Back For The All Blacks

 

 

THERE IT IS then, our team to take-on the All Blacks, at Murrayfield on Saturday. As ever, I live in hope that we can finally get the monkey of losing to the ABs off our back, but, with three British Lions injured and not considered for selection, I fear we may still be waiting for that breakthrough, come tea time on Saturday.

In any case, if I should live long enough to see us finally triumph over the men from the Land of the Long White Cloud, I want it to be in something meaningful, such as a World Cup Final. If you have to have a dream, make it a big one I say.

The 2025 vintage might not be quite the best to come out of New Zealand, but, the visitors will still start as favourites. I reckon they have only been operating at, at best, 75% or 80% of their potential of late and they are feeding-in some new boys, but, they still carry that aura which comes with the black strip.

With Huw Jones, Duhan van der Merwe and Zander Fagerson all injured Gregor Townsend has gone with the obvious stand-ins. Perhaps his only conjecture was who to put alongside skipper Sione Tuipulotu in the centre, with Rory Hutchison getting the call.

With ten Lions in the match-day 23, the Scotland side has bags of experience, so, let's hope we can run them close, although, I cannot see that longed-for first win coming on Saturday.

 

Squad Inflation - Is It Necessary?

THE FIRST individual Scottish sports team to embark on an overseas trip to a major competition, was the Scottish Football squad which went to the 1954 World Cup Finals in Switzerland. That tournament is often referenced as proof of the Scots being: “too wee, too poor and too stupid to run their own affairs”. Suffice to say, 71 years ago, if it could go wrong – it did. The tournament was an absolute disaster.

One of the main things for which the SFA committee-men and officials who organised the trip were pilloried was: they only sanctioned 13 players to travel. Under FIFA competition rules, they had to and did register 22 players, but they only took the 13 players, of whom only one – Aberdeen's Fred Martin – was a goalkeeper. Jock Anderson, Bobby Johnstone, Jackie Henderson, Dave Mathers, Alex Wilson, Jimmy Binning, Bobby Combe, Ernie Copland and Ian McMillan were the nine players left back home.

Not every nation in Switzerland took the full compliment of 22 players, England, for instance only took 17 of their 22 registered players on the trip. Four years later, for the 1958 World Cup, in Sweden, the SFA took all 22 players with them, and were criticised for this.

All four British nations qualified for Sweden, Wales, like Scotland took all 22 registered players, but Northern Ireland took only 17 of their 22-man squad while England's Alan Hodgkinson – later to be Scotland's goalkeeping coach, and Maurice Setters – who would like Hodgie, taste a World Cup with another nation, when he was Jack Charlton's assistant with Republic of Ireland, were the two men from their 22 who England didn't take to Sweden.

In successive World Cups, the size of the registered squads has risen to 23, and, for the last World Cup, in Qatar in 2022, squad sizes were increased to 26 players.

RUGBY'S WORLD CUP arrived in 1987, with the various countries taking differing approaches to squad sizes. England travelled with 27 players, split 14/13 between forwards and backs. Ireland also registered 27 players, a 16/11 split for them, but, only 26 travelled after Nigel Carr was seriously injured in an IRA bombing attack on the Irish border, injuries which ended his career. Wales took 31 players to the tournament, split 18/13 while Scotland took a 15-man squad, 13 forwards/12 backs.

By the time the last Rugby World Cup came around in 2023, World Rugby had standardised squad sizes at 33 players per team, however, injuries meant that some of the countries had to register additional players to cover injuries. This meant that Scotland actually registered 35 players and England 36.

OK, we are in time of increased specialisation; long gone are the days of the 1959 Tour, when the British Lions had to use that great prop, Hawick's Hughie McLeod as a hooker in one game, while on the same tour, Ken Scotland turned out at Full-Back, Centre, Fly-Half and in one game Scrum-Half.

But the above is a mere preamble to a single question – does Gregor Townsend really need an initial 45 players, now reduced to 42 for his four matches in the Quilter Autumn Tests series?

To me, it seems like overkill – at a time of financial concerns for the Union, do we need to be taking that many players, plus coaches and other support staff, into camp for a whole month, at quite high cost?

What I wonder, would James Aikman-Smith have made of that level of expenditure.

THE GUARDIAN describes itself as: “A United Kingdom Newspaper” - Aye Right! If the United Kingdom's northern boundary is at the top end of the Watford Gap that holds good, but basically, for Guardian journalists, beyond the M25 circulatory the map says simply: “Here be dragons!”.

OK, that's not quite fair – the likes of their Rugby Union Correspondent Robert Kitson, though his soul may lie somewhere beside the Ex Estuary, is able to find his way as far as the Leicester and Northampton turn-offs up the M1, and the paper's international editions lean heavily towards coverage of events in Australia and the United States of America. Indeed, the sectional index at the top of the Sports pages on the Guardian website includes one marked US Sports.

Strange therefore, to find, after Saturday evening's events at Murrayfield, not even the US Sports section, far-less the Rugby Union pages, held any mention of Scotland's 85-0 win over The Eagles.

England v Australia (coverage overkill); Ireland v The All Blacks (in Chicago) – again full coverage, Japan v South Africa (played on their door step in London) – yes, we covered that; but, Scotland v USA – nothing, nil, zilch, nada. It's almost as if Scotland is a small, far-away country, of which we know nothing and about which we care even less.

That is the problem the SRU face (well, it's one of several problems). So-much of today's media coverage in the UK is generated from London, and if the desk jockeys in London don't want to know about you and your sport – forget it.

Back last century, when Manchester had designs on hosting a Summer Olympic Games, they faced many problems, one of the main ones being, the London media moguls, and their apparatchiks on the London sports desks, were determined not to see their bid succeed. For them, it was a case of: If the UK hosts an Olympics, it has to be in London – because we're not prepared to go Up North.

That attitude has hardened. Ok, Manchester eventually got a Commonwealth Games, as did Glasgow (twice now) and Birmingham, but, these are minor side shows, if it's a big, really important event – to the London media it has to be in London.

 

A Long Day's Journey Into Night

SATURDAY FOR ME meant a long day of Rugby watching. I passed on Japan v South Africa, but still managed three matches back-to-back. On the whole it was an enjoyable day.

The problem with the first course – England v Australia was – the commentary, with the TNT Sport going flat out to prove, when it comes to over-hyping and boosting Engurlund, they can outdo the perennial front runners, the English Broadcasting Corporation and ITV Sport. The Sprite I can tolerate, his occasional flashes of wit and wisdom negate his stupider pro-Engurlund bias to a degree, but Craig Doyle's increasingly desperate efforts to succeed the late Sir Terry Wogan as Broadcasting's House Paddy are really starting to offend.

The game wasn't bad and in truth, England deserved to win, among other reasons, because they played referee Nika Amusakeli better then the Wallabies did - but the commentary made it tough going.

GREGOR TOWNSEND was on a hiding to nothing when it came to the Scotland v USA game. This was one he and his squad were expected to win, and win well. This they did, but, they will get little credit from their critics and in particular those within the broader Scottish Rugby kirk who believe it is time we had a new Head Coach.

So a 13 tries to nil win and a clean sheet were never going to cutt Coach or players any slack from the critics; however, think on this. Not so-many years ago, full-strength Scotland teams were struggling against and sometimes losing to Tier Two nations such as The Eagles. There is a chance that no more than seven or eight of the starting XV against the Americans will start in the tougher Test against the All Blacks on Saturday.

That the fringe players should contribute to such a comprehensive win, to me, demonstrates the strength in numbers we now have. Youngster Liam McConnell had a storming debut, under-scored by his charge and off-load in the build-up to Duhan van der Merwe's opening try. Jamie Dobie was a deserved Man of the Match, while some of the other lesser lights: Ollie Smith, Darcy Rae, Marshall Sykes and Dylan Richardson made telling contributions.

MATCH THREE – the Chicago meeting of Ireland and the All Blacks was given the full Hollywood treatment, and it didn't disappoint. I have felt, watching the All Blacks in the recent Southern Hemisphere Rugby Champions games, they were frustratingly not quite as on-point as you expect from them.

There were still some rough passages on Saturday night, but, the longer the game lasted, the more they began to look like the ABs – which is not good news for us, looking to next week. However, as I know from personal experience, jet lag after flying from the USA to Scotland can take a few days to wear off, so, who knows how it might unfold.

This match demonstrated the good sense of the 20 minute red card, dished-out to Tadgh Beirne after only three minutes. Had Ireland been forced to play 77 minutes a man short, it could have got nasty. As it was, we saw a much-closer game thanks to the law change.

The Irish are now further into a necessary rebuild, which offers their coaching team a huge challenge; from a Scottish perspective, the All Blacks are still not quite there, Saturday should be interesting.

OK, LET'S DESCEND from the rarified air of Internationals to the Club Game, where most of us dwell. There was but a single meaningful game over the weekend – the Scottish Cup clash between Ayr and Glasgow Hawks.

By the way, is this season's Scottish Cup sponsored? If not why not? This is another example of Murrayfield apparatchiks not doing their jobs. Mind you, if it isn't sponsored, perhaps just as well, since entry appears to be optional – and, as seems to happen regularly, the Borders clubs seem to think it's their ba' and they're not playing with it.

There were a couple of interesting BTL comments on The Offside Line's story of the game – probably sparked-off by Head Coach Gruntz Anderson's post-match comments.

The first came from that wise old owl, Grangemouth's Dom Ward, who commented:

“I appreciate this is the Scottish Cup article but the crisis is all over the cup competitions. 21 matches are off in National Cup, Shield and Bowl comps.

“The Shield in particular has been decimated.

“The question must be – do clubs want these competitions or not? Either commit or decline at start of season. It also suggests strength in depth at clubs is seriously lacking. Lose a few first team players and clubs calling off as they don’t have experienced players and it’s a safety risk.”

More on this thread came from another of Scottish Rugby's deeper thinkers – the legendary man of Heriot's, Edinburgh, Scotland, The Lions and Barbarians – Iain “The Bear” Milne, who commented:

“There is a massive difference between the strength of club squads to the number of players prepared to play each week. We should be asking ourselves why don’t players commit to every game over the season and why?”

Bear has been campaigning for some time, for greater numbers of average players to be kept involved in Club Rugby and he makes an excellent point in that comment.

If we look at Dom's and Iain's comments, we should be asking ourselves:

• Why, while we appear to have a lot of enthusiastic kids playing Youth Rugby, are we failing to keep sufficient numbers involved through the transition to Adult Rugby?

• Should we not be looking seriously at the whole seasonal calendar, so we can fit-in League games, Cup games and, given the SRU has now suddenly re-discovered Sevens, putting the short form of the game back into the mix?

The governance of the game is in a bit of a mess – shouldn't we be sorting things out?

 

Toony Has Spoken - The Team's Out

THE LATEST game of Toony Tombola has delivered the team listed below here, to take on the USA in the opening Quilter Autumn Tests, at Murrayfield, on Saturday.

Given Toony has been restricted to selecting only Edinburgh and Glasgow players for this match, there are no real surprises in the squad he has picked. He was always going to use this game to give time on the grass to some of the fringe players, but, the squad still looks strong enough to deal with the opposition.

One or two of the lesser lights have a real chance to stake a claim for a place in the bigger games to come, and, while we all hope Zander Fagerson, in spite of his lack of game time, will be able to put his hand up for selection, a storming game against the Yanks will do Darcy Rae no harm whatsoever.

We do have strength-in-depth across the back row, but, Liam McConnell'sfirst cap could lead to bigger things. The match-day squad is:

I NEVER met Terence Froud, whose passing was announced this week, but, from speaking to former props who locked horns with him during his career, it appears, I missed a treat. He came across as a fine man, a real Rugby man and a genuine Teri.

For all the Lions and Scotland legend to have emerged from Mansfield Park over the years, perhaps the real strength of the Hawick brand lies in the “Journeymen” players, such as Terence, who gave their all: “fur the Toon” so that the McLeods, Grants and Renwicks could sprinkle their star dust.

From the tributes paid to him, it seems, Terence not only did the hard yards wearing the jaggy green jersey, he made the even harder yards in the committee room and around the club. We stand on the shoulders of giants such as Terence when we keep club rugby going – he will be missed down there in Hawick.

RUGBY UNION is facing a legal tsunami, which will hit with some force once these claims from former professionals whose life has been blighted by the effects of the many head knocks they took during their careers. I doubt if the game is ready for the damage these claims will do.

But, this week, we got a taste of another aspect of where the game's rulers have perhaps taken their eye off the ball – with the news of Gavin Lowe's problems and the fact some of his former team mates have been forced to start a Go Fund Me page, to raise some £10,000 so he can have the hip replacement surgery he requires.

Gavin started at my own Cumnock RFC, before his talent took him to bigger clubs and ultimately onto the international Sevens circuit. It is a really bad look for the Scottish Rugby Union that the former Sevens players are having to take this action to try to fund Gavin's surgery.

Come on Murrayfield, step-in now and act. Gavin did his bit for the SRU, you have a duty of care to get him the surgery quickly, so he can get on with the rest of his life.

WHILE I AM on the subject of Murrayfield getting a grip, how about insisting all clubs compete in the natonal Cup competition which coincides with their League status, or their withdrawal sees them penalised by the loss of four league points?

To be a member club of The Scottish Rugby Union means being prepared to promote and play the game and if your club is not prepared to play matches, or if you cannot persuade your members to play – then you should be penalised. You owe it to the other clubs to get your act together and, in the case of Premiership and National One clubs withdrawing from national cups – well clearly you are unworthy of your exalted status.

Normal Service After Internet Problems

A WEEK OF internet access problems ended on Saturday night, when Number One Grandson was able to set-up the replacement hub which I had to have sent-up. I had had no internet from Tuesday, it was Hell.

The gremlins meant, I was unable to comment on the Scotland squad for the Autumn Tests, while I could not watch Glasgow beating the Bulls on Friday night. Normal service was resumed in time for the Cardiff v Edinburgh game on Saturday night, which proved to be a hugely-entertaining affair, won by the home team, courtesy of a last-minute, long-range penalty goal.

I felt Edinburgh lost because they did not adapt as well as the Welshmen to the change of conditions in the second half. Also, Edinburgh's lack of depth in some places was exposed – the Cardiff bench made more impact than Edinburgh's - while they made too-many handling errors with the slippery ball.

I also felt, Cardiff played more of a team game. When a Cardiff player made an individual break, the support was there, quicker and in a better position, than when an Edinburgh player made a break. Support is crucial in Rugby and Edinburgh's game-breakers such as Wes Goosen or Charlie Shiel didn't get the immediate support available to opposition players.

All that said, I can remember when either of our professional sides emerging from a trip to Cardiff with a losing bonus point would have been considered a good result; these days, we are disappointed, so I suppose, that's progress.

FOR ME, the most-interesting game in Saturday's Arnold Clark Premiership schedule was the Balgray meeting of Glasgow Hawks and Heriot's – the first occasion on which Hawks High Heid Yin Phil Smith had faced the club with which he has been associated for so-many years.

The Offside Line match report reads like: “a game of two halves” - Hawks turning round 26-7 ahead, only for the Nails to come back to level matters, before Euan Muirhead's late try, converted by Liam Brins, saw Hawks home and sparked-off dancing in the leafy lanes of Kelvinside. Five welcome points to get Hawks off the foot of the table and up to eighth place.

At the half-way point in the campaign, it already looks as if the main interest in the second half of the race will be at the foot. Five points separate the bottom five, in descending order: Melrose, Kelso, Hawks, Selkirk and Hawick. Now, given the four Borders teams are in that bunch, and they are surely going to hurt each other, we might well be witnessing a reverse “Helicopter Saturday” on the final day; I reckon we might well be into extra time before we know which club will be going down.

At the top of the League, Ayr might not be winning friends and influencing people, but, they are still winning games and now have an eight point lead, plus a game in hand. Already, the title is theirs to lose, finding the consistency to even close the gap is going to be difficult for the rest. With six of their ten remaining games at Fortress Millbrae, the defending Champions will take some stopping.

THAT INTERNET FAULT certainly left me adrift for much of this past week, but, the silver lining was I was able to read Peter Bills' excellent disertation on French Rugby: Le Coq – a journey to the heart of French Rugby. I commend this tome to the house.

However, as I read of his journey through the Heartland of the game in La France Profounde, the small towns of the Basque Country, in the far south west, I was struck by the resemblances to Rugby Union in Scotland. For small towns such as Lourdes, Agen, Auch, Narbonne and so on, you might see Hawick, Gala, Selkirk, Kelso, Melrose, Jeburgh and Langholm. I can see little difference between the no-quarter-asked-or-given French battles which Bills references and the traditional Border Derbies over here – or indeed some of the battles between near-neighbours elsewhere in Scottish Rugby.

After all, one of the main reasons for England being so-keen, over so-many centuries: “rebellious Scots to crush” - an ambition finally realised in 1707 was to secure their northern border. If for no other reason perhaps than: “my enemy's enemy is my friend” The Auld Alliance has always bothered our southern neighbours.

Bills sticks out like a sore thumb among English sports writers – he is devoid of the usual English Exceptionalism, he is a very definite Francophile and this excellent book is indeed a love letter to that country. He meets many of the legends of the French game, Blanco, Rives, Villpreux, Boniface, Spanghero, Dupont and so forth. His recommendations as to wines to inbib and restaurants to visit is worth the price of the book alone.

But, to return to the main thrust of this piece. In outlining how the smaller town teams, once the main provider of players to the national side have adjusted to life below their Top 14, to being providers of talent for the existing big guns – Toulouse, Toulon, Racing 92 and so on. His description of the rise of La Rochelle also had me thinking: could Billy, Auchlin, Norrie and Co pull off something similar at Ayr?

Almost certainly not – The Murrayfield Junta will never allow any club which they do not totally control to be involved in full-time professional Rugby Union.

BEFORE I DISCOVERED Rugby, I played football, as a goalkeeper. Now, football folklore tells us, the last two places on Earth where you might choose to be a goalie are Brazil and Scotland – so, nil point for choosing that position.

Football folklore also tells us: all goalkeepers are mad, former team mates such as that weel-kent man about Scottish Rugby – Auld Auchlin – will tell you, often without having to be asked: “Aye, all goalies are mad, but Aristotle took that madness to extremes”. So, I suppose, as a gloves-wearer, I ought to be immediately on the side of one of our more-esteemed members of Scottish Football's Goalkeepers Lodge Number One – Gemma Fay in her new role as Managing Director of Women's Rugby.

I should be, but, nae harm to Gemma and I hope she is a success in the role, but, I fail to see what she has brought to the game since joining the SRU. Given how little she appears to have accomplished in her previous post, I see this new placement as yet another example of something the SRU has become very good at in recent years – blowing smoke and mirrors into the faces of the clubs as they shuffle the deckchairs at will.