Great Stories Are Never Handed To Journalists - They Have To Be Dug Up

IN MY last post, I discussed the SRU's current fashion for media management – this was confirmed today, when what passes for the mainstream rugby media in Scotland all ran with the same stories – the thoughts of Edinburgh's Chris Dean and speculation that Finn Russell may be back at ten for Glasgow against Ospreys on Saturday.

 Glasgow's "Ospreylian" forwards coach Jon Humphreys

That said, chapeau to Lewis Stuart, for finding his own line, by leading the Russell story with a wee bit about Glasgow forwards coach Jon Humphreys being a native of “Ospreylia” as the Welsh region styles itself.

You see, that's the problem with effective media management, you get the story the SRU's spin nurse practitioners (they're not quite clever enough/qualified enough to be spin doctors) want you to get.

The late Ian Wooldridge, a star of the days when the Daily Mail was not Mein Kampf in comic form, would have nothing to do with press conferences – from whence today's big rugby stories came. He reckoned you always got more from a quiet one-to-one in a corridor, indeed, the best journalists hunt alone, rather than in packs.

An example of the iconoclastic sports-writing of the late Ian Wooldridge - here discussing Australia, a country he loved

In Scotland this can be problematic. I can name two Fleet Street big names who were forced south, to their enrichment, because they refused to march to the beat of the Lap Top Loyal's Lambeg drum.

As Jeff Connor, another former Scottish sports hack who left before madness overtook him, so-memorably explained in the Offside Line's brilliant serialisation of his unpublished book about the 2005 Lions Tour to New Zealand, there is an unwritten pattern to sports press conferences, a pecking order to be observed, protocols to be considered – all of which plays into the hands of the media managers.

So, it's always good when things go wrong. Some years back, St Mirren had a young forward who was: “the next big thing”; Liverpool and Manchester United were monitoring him, a big-money transfer was expected any day.

Jimmy Bone - his chosen baby sitter got a shock

So, when the press wanted to speak to him after a game at Love Street, Jimmy Bone, who was then managing Saints, needing to be elsewhere, asked one of the directors to baby sit the youngster, so he didn't say anything out of turn.

I was standing beside the director, who was impressed by the mature answers the kid gave to the assembled hacks. He turned to me and said: “That's my boy – he's good.”

That was the cue for disaster. Asked how he had enjoyed being man-marked by Maurice Malpas, the kid replied: “Aye, good players let you play a bit, they're not up your arse the whole game like lesser players.”

That quote never saw the light of day, till now.

Another great press conference story concerns, “Old Big 'Ead”, Brian Clough, who was holding forth after a rather good win by Notts Forest. Cloughie had a certain disdain for the gentlemen of the press, which he allowed to show that day, challenging the press's knowledge of the game and their right to criticise the professionals such as Brian Clough.

“Put your England caps on the table, you lot. I only got two, should have had a lot more, but, I've got two England caps, and that gives me the more right to talk about football than you lot. How many England caps have you got?”

Voice from the back of the assembled throng of journalists: “Forty-three.”

 Jimmy Armfield - was able to silence

Cloughie had not realised his old England captain, Jimmy Armfield, was covering the game.

 Brian Clough - pictured playing for England

Aye, press conferences might seem like a good idea, but, now and again they back-fire on you.

Got slightly side-tracked there; as I was saying, the High Heid Yins like press conferences and media set-pieces, it gives them some control. These things, from the media's side, are “on-diary items”: the Sports Editors know in plenty of time, they are taking place and can schedule the appropriate journalist to cover them.

However, the diamonds among the dross of general media output are those off-diary stories, the big nuggets, exposed by old-fashioned digging, that polish up into emblazoned back-page “exclusives”. The hack who can come-up with plenty of these on a regular basis, is still worth his corn.

So, let's see more of the kind of features big Mark Palmer of the Sunday Times Scotland came up with on Sunday – when he did a story about the other Russell boy – former Ayr centre Archie, who is off to Cambridge University and looking to win his coveted “Blue” in December.

Archie Russell with his (allegedly) less-intelligent big brother

Back in the amateur days, a Blue and a couple of outings for London Scottish virtually guaranteed a cap during the Five Nations – but, alas for Archie, these days are past. For all that, the Russell that got the brains remains a good player, if lacking those special qualities which set his gallus big brother apart.

ONE OF the big-name English rugby writers came up with a nauseatingly gushy piece on Monday morning, all about how great the Aviva Premiership was. To the English media, Rugby's top-flight league darn sarf is now, like its “Wendyball” equivalent:

"THE GREATEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD”

Aye Right! As they say in the Greatest city in the world.

This hack based his claims on the “fantastic” 50 tries which were scored in the opening week of the new season. Pardon me if I do not do a sea lion impression, by clapping my flippers together. Because, well, the BT Premiership, which is definitely not the best league in the world – albeit, at its level, the rugby is bloody good – produced 43 tries in its opening weekend – which means, the punters at the five BT Premiership saw an average of 8.6 tries per game. While the punters in the Aviva Premiership paid a lot more to get in to see an average of 8.3 tries per game.

The poor, unloved Guinness PRO14's opening weekend produced a mere 5.28 tries per game. Which maybe shows, the PRO14 overall has a better quality of defensive coach and defensive co-ordination systems than in England.

It's called being professional, because, as every professional coach, in every different form or professional football – American, Association, Australian Rules, whatever – knows: defensive strength wins titles.

Kenny Murray - just one of several very good defensive coaches in the PRO14

There are a couple of outstanding attacking sides in the English Premiership, Saracens and Wasps, there are a couple of other very good sides, but, just as the fans of the English league smirk at the efforts of the two Italian sides, and maybe a couple of the Welsh ones, in the PRO14 – there are some duds in the Aviva Premiership too. And no amount of cash can totally hide that fact.