TODAY'S SRU agm will, I understand, be a CBBC special, with Dick and Dom in da house for a day of mayhem and mirth at Murrayfield. Dick and his faithful sidekick Dom will be attempting, with the help of various stooges and useless idiots, defuse and stem the flood of righteous indignation from the tribunes of the plebs – the clubs – who are not best pleased with the way the ruling elite has managed to thoroughly fuck things up since last year.
It's the SRU's very own Dick (below) and Dom (left) who will be putting-on a day of mirth and mayhem for the delegates to this year's SRU agam at Murrayfield on Saturday
OK,
dear old doddering Lance-Corporal Jones, in his last act before being
shipped off to the Murrayfield equivalent of the Royal Hospital
Chelsea, as a trustee, will perhaps have a final rant about
irresponsible social media commentators, “fake news” and
insubordination, but, the suits well know, they are under real
pressure, from a lot of angry people, who will want answers to their
cack-handed handling of such issues as:
- Stupid-6 – its implementation and the bidding process
- Agenda-3
- Russellgate
- the “independent” review into Russellgate
- Legoland
- Non Disclosure Agreements (NDAs)
- ticketgate
- the trustees carve-up
- the Murrayfield Wanderers fiasco
- the blatant lobbying for the “Establishment” candidates in the vice-presidential election
There
are ten hot potatoes to be going on with. Add their petty actions to
try to derail the Haddington/GHA motion, and their opposition to the
Aberdeen Grammar/Marr one, which seeks clarity on where the Stupid-6
“amateur” sides will play, and the delegates are in for a long,
hard day.
Now,
I know, diplomacy, subtlety and finesse are not my strong points –
but, in my defence, I was a front five forward with Cumnock. However,
when, as I have experienced, a maverick journalist and blogger –
which is what I am, gets telephone calls and emails from
distinguished past presidents and former high office bearers within
the SRU, urging me to keep attacking the “suits” – well, I will
do so.
And,
maybe the “suits,” for their part, should think – might they
have a point and we are not managing Scottish Rugby as well as we
could.
Let's
give them some credit – the financial results were good, in a
difficult operating climate. However, they were nowhere near good
enough to justify the huge spin which was put on them when they were
announced.
Of
course, we had one or two things to celebrate, but, again, there were
loud fanfares to announce things, when maybe a tootle from a rag
man's trumpet might have been closer to the appropriate level.
It
is perhaps a Scottish thing – our triumphs and our disasters tend
to bring out some over the top reactions, and the SRU is no different
to any other Scottish institution, but, a wee bit of balance might
help.
The
“suits” need be under no illusions – they are under pressure
tomorrow. They have to tackle the big issues head-on, and be honest
with the troops. They need to realise, the SRU belongs to the CLUBS,
not to the Board or the Council. The clubs are not happy with them.
Come clean, admit you've got things wrong, and set about
re-establishing trust.
Be
more open. Trying to delay or avoid announcing the outcome of Lesley
Thomson's review into Russellgate will spark-off an almighty row
today, although, there are whispers that there will indeed be a
fully-independent external review of the whole affair.
This
will be welcomed by most people, but, will further delay the lancing
of a boil on the face of the game up here. We need this whole sorry
affair put to bed, and quickly.
The
clubs are becoming restless. They see the remorseless growth of the
professional, and next season, semi-professional “performance”
side of the game, while the money put into the club game – the
heart-beat of Scottish rugby – may, according to the “suits” be
being maintained, is actually, some believe, in real terms being
reduced.
There
is a sense that trust between the hired help and the volunteers who
run the clubs has been badly eroded – this trust has to be rebuilt.
The clubs, last season, said no to a couple of ideas from the
executive, who simply came back again with a rearranged deck chairs
plan. If the clubs say no, the executive should listen.
The
elected representatives are also under pressure this year. Nearly
everyone with more than a passing interest in Scottish rugby will be
aware of the mortar shells which Keith Russell fired at them in his
post-settlement interviews with The Offside Line and Sunday Times
Scotland.
Some
Murrayfield insiders tried to dismiss this as the mutterings of a
disgruntled former employee. Then Mark Palmer of the Sunday Times, to
his immense credit, discovered the previous departures covered by
NDAs, and the whole management methodology inside HQ came under
scrutiny.
But,
if Keith Russell had correctly reported the Fat Controller, or Dick,
as I am referring to him here, had indeed wanted the Council
side-tracked, why have these same councillors been rushing around
attempting to defend the CEO and the “suits” ever since.
Jean-Luc has a farewell message for Lance-Sorporal Jones as he leaves office
The
Council members are supposed to hold the executive to account.
Indeed, the departing president based his whole campaign for the
office of vice president and then president on the issue of: “I
will fight the clubs' corner and hold the executive to account,”
very few people believe he has – and there are others round the top
tables who are believed to be equally culpable.
It
is to be hoped, whoever wins the vice presidency and I make no
apologies for hoping Ian Barr wins it he needs to lead the
fightback by the clubs, but, he also needs and deserves the support of the
rest of the Council and the clubs.
You
have been supine long enough guys – stand up and fight for the
people who put you there.
Finally,
maybe somebody from the top table can tell the meeting, in simple
words – what this chap does
Because,
as things stand, he is a QI answer – nobody knows. Least of all the weel-kent former Scotland cap who came-up with the idea of this poster, which may well be on-view outside Murrayfield today.
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