Good Luck To County - They Are Being Positive About Stupid-6

FAIR play, well done and good luck to STIRLING COUNTY in their efforts to put together a system which will allow Stupid-6 to work in their neck of the woods. But, if the feed-back from their meeting last week with representatives of smaller local clubs is any indication – the gullible group who bought into The Fat Controller and the Lesser-Spotted Specialist's vision of a semi-professional rugby nirvana just around the corner, are facing huge problems in making it work.

 

 Stirling County President Lorne Boswell - met with local club officials

As one of my Midlands moles said to me: “we left the meeting, more convinced than ever, they are making this up as they go along.”

 

But, all may not be lost for the Stupid-6. I know we are still at least a year out from the big kick-off, but, to date not one of the clubs has signed their contract with the SRU and negotiations are on-going. But, several pointers are coming out.

 

For a start, the new franchises: Could they be playing summer rugby?

They are unlikely to be playing on a Friday night – to avoid conflict with the PRO14

They are unlikely to be playing on a Saturday afternoon – to avoid conflict with clubs

So, are we going to see Sunday rugby?

There have been suggestions, around summer rugby, that the new competition will kick off in April, 2019, almost immediately after the final Tennent's Premiership season concludes.

Now, I am not against summer rugby as such, indeed, back when he was causing the old amateur Bufties to spill their G&Ts at such a suggestion, John Beattie was forever calling for summer rugby, as a means of bringing better handling skills to the Scottish game. I thought then it was a good idea in principle. About a quarter of a century later, it could be that big bad John will get his wish.

John Beattie - has been pushing summer rugby for half a lifetime

However, there is a fly in the ointment. Apparently, exactly as I said would happen – and was denigrated in some quarters for so-saying – it has transpired, sportscotland does not have the money to fund the six 3G/4G pitches that were, at one time, going to be compulsory for the Stupid-6 teams to play on.

We all know, rugby pitches take a hammering, particularly if we have a more than normally wet and dreich Scottish winter. How can the pitches at Bridgehaugh, the Greenyards, Millbrae, Myreside, Meggetland and Goldenacre recover after a hard winter, when the Stupid-6 are charging around on them during the peak growing season?

With artificial surfaces, summer rugby could work, without them – nae chance. And, without SRU or sportscotland support, that would be another half million or more pounds sterling for the lucky six franchises to find, to install one.

Since The Fat Controller's very public case of premature ejaculation, when he gushed all over his Scottish-Welsh, cross-border competition, at the agm – only to be immediately shot down by the news, the Cardiff crew has yet to formally put this notion to their clubs, and, from early indications, we already know, the boys in the valleys don't fancy playing at the time Murrayfield would prefer. Well, that's another fly in the ointment. I am not saying the competition will not happen, but, it is not yet the done deal TFC tried to sell to his clubs at Murrayfield on Saturday.

Mike Dalgetty - "Melrose will still be Melrose"

Wee Mike Dalgetty upset one or two when he spoke at the agm on Saturday, but, let's be fair to the wee man. He said Melrose RFC would continue, and the Melrose-managed franchise would be a new, separate club. It appears this is a stance being taken by the six franchise winners, County confirmed to their neighbouring clubs, they would be setting-up a new company to run the Stirling-based franchise.

Actually, given the potential for the whole thing to fail, this is probably the route all six clubs will go down. I certainly would not like to be the guy who finally signed-up with the SRU who, when it collapsed, then had to go back to his club members and tell them: “by the way, we are responsible for the debts and cleaning-up the mess.” Best to limit any potential damage via a limited company.

Of course, this brings us back to what we must now call: “The Hawks Protocol” A club, or clubs, giving-up its position in the top domestic league to a new entity, has to, if said club wishes to continue to play, restart in the bottom tier of league rugby. Good luck to the six clubs in getting round that one against a whole host of clubs determined to use their new power to have the final say on where a team plays in the league structure.

The precedent is there, that's what happened to GHK and Glasgow Accies when they formed Hawks. If the SRU could play hard ball with two such old and distinguished clubs, then they are duty-bound to be just as tough on the equally old and distinguished Heriot's, Watsonians and Melrose, plus the three more recent graduates to elite status.

Ayr v Millbrae in the West Regional Leagues – I am already looking forward to that. If I am allowed in that is.

To return to the pitch issues. As we know the franchise teams will be: “semi-professional,” so, by definition, like the semi-professional footballers at nearby Stirling Albion the Stirling franchise's players will have the day job, and need to train at night. The time-honoured training nights are Tuesday and Thursday, the very nights on which the still-amateur players of Stirling County will be wanting to use the Bridgehaugh lights and facilities.

Another 35 players to fit in, can it be done?

But, credit to Stirling, for grasping the nettle and attempting to build bridges and form alliances with their neighbours. There will be problems along the way, but, with good will on both sides, it can be done.

One stream being looked at is, at least at Stirling, and I would assume elsewhere – although I struggle to see how this will work down in Melrose's neck of the woods, is: that the Head Coach of the franchise, (and Stirling indicated they had already chosen their man, who is currently based in Scotland, has to come, not from the SRU, but from an, if you like SRU list of approved persons), will be expected to be: “A beacon of excellence locally” and to work with local clubs in raising standards.

Paul Martin - The man from Taranaki did coaching classes around Ayrshire when coaching Ayr

How this is to be done has not been clarified. Coaching master classes around the clubs perhaps? I recall, when Ayr had Taranaki's Paul Martin as Head Coach, back in the 1980s, he took sessions at the local clubs, to great effect. A similar scenario today would I reckon work very well. However, again, a working pattern would need to be established.

The fact is, Stupid-6 has been a mess from start to finish. It was rushed into without proper analysis and preparatory work. As things stand, it will fail, with each new discovery of what is going on around it, my sense of impending doom grows.