Where Do We Go From Here - Deeper Into The Shite I Fear (with apologies to Nick Heyward & Co)

SINCE I do not have access to the agency Esportif's client list, I don't know who's likely to be in the frame to replace Gregor Townsend as Scotland National Coach, should he decide: “bugger this for a game of soldiers” and resign, or, should the SRU decide to get rid.

But, given TCD's record, plus the rumours he's on his bike at the end of his contract and the SRU has already signed-up with a leading 'head hunting' agency to identify his successor, should Toony go any time soon, we are likely to get some second or third-rate Englishman to replace him. TCD will have long vanished by the time the shite hits the fan on any wrong appointment.

So, after the events of the last week – we have to start modelling possible scenario.

Model One: Nothing happens until the SRU Performance Department convenes an end of Six Nations debrief. In particular this looks at the events in Edinburgh on the Saturday night after the Italy game and the national management team's response to the Edinburgh Six breaking team orders to go out for a wee swally, and the subsequent fall-out.

This being the SRU, they sweep the whole thing under the carpet and decide enough damage has been done – Townsend is given a vote of confidence and we carry-on.

Possible response: Finn Russell decides: “bugger this for a game of soldiers” announces his immediate retirement from Scotland duty and signs an enhanced contract with Racing 92.

Model Two: The SRU gives their full backing to Townsend, and decides insufficient action was taken, so, the Edinburgh Six are deemed surplus to requirements and will not be selected again for Scotland.

Possible response one: Townsend carries on, but, without the 250-plus cap's worth of experience, he has one hell of a job on his hands building a squad for the 2023 Rugby World Cup.

Possible response two: Townsend decides, I need these guys for the RWC, I think my response was the correct one, and by sacking them, the SRU has under-mined me – I'm on my bike.

Model Three: The SRU decides Townsend boobed in not booting the whole six players into the long grass and sacks him.

Possible response: Speculation as to who replaces him: Danny Wilson, Mike Blair, an outsider – perhaps a non-Scot? A summer of speculation and uncertainty, unsettling effects during the Summer Tour.

Model Four: A fudge; Townsend decides he can no longer work with the six players. They tell the SRU they will no longer work under Townsend. Coach and players are given the summer off to let things settle down, Scotland goes to Argentina without the senior players and with a new coach. What happens next?

Possible response one: We go on an unprecedented run of wins, taking the Six Nations with a Grand Slam, then winning the World Cup, thrashing England in the final.

Possible response two: It all goes tits-up, we destroy ourselves with the in-fighting and crash and burn badly.

Model Five: Another fudge, the players apologise; they kiss and make-up with Townsend and we carry-on as before.

Possible response: All is well until the first time Finn and Ali, plus Hoggy, decide they fancy a wee unofficial swally. Then, we're back where we are today.

One thing you can say about covering Scottish Rugby, it is seldom dull.

The above is simply my view, from the outside looking in. One thing I could add, when it comes to the SRU, they tend to come-up with the occasional out of left-field move when least expected. They also tend to dig-in in the face of criticism.

For instance, when Keith Russell took the Union to an Employment Tribunal and won, received wisdom around Scotland rugby clubs was that 'Howzat' the Consiglieri, should be “sleeping with the fishes,” while TCD should also be on his bike. Howzat's bailliewick may be a little smaller, but, he's still there, as is TCD. Tales of the Unexpected stem from Murrayfield.

But, as I understand it, TCD will be gone, probably after a last hurrah in the posh seats at RWC 2023, and the hunt is on for his replacement. (“Come home Dominic, all is forgiven?”) They just might try to draw a line over the events of the past week and hope to start afresh after the tournament in France.

I MISSED the kick-off of the Under-20 match on Sunday, and switched on 11 minutes in, just in time to see Ireland's second try. I switched off after about ten minutes, I had seen enough.

It was Boys against Men, and we were the Boys; it was embarrassing. I will not blame the players, they were doing their best, but, the difference between the level of professionalism, the physiques, the basic handling skills, the understanding of doing the basics – it was cringe-worthy bad.

At this level, we are light years behind the other Tier One nations and that has to be down to the Union and our culture. If we don't do something serious to alter the situation some time soon, the future for Scottish Rugby is bleak indeed.

I feel sorry for Kenny Murray. I've got a lot of time for Kenny, but, he really has a massive job on his hands to turn around our programme.

FINALLY – in the midst of the general delight at Italy ending their long run of losses in the Guinness Six Nations, one small thing stood out for me.

That was seeing on Facebook, the Alternative Commentary take, which had run the climax of The Three Tenors' iconic rendition of Nessum Dorma, accompanying footage of Ange Capuozzo's marvellous run, to set-up Edoardo Padovani for the crucial last-minute Italian try, converted by Paolo Garbisi with the last kick of the game, to clinch victory.

Seek it out on You Tube, or Facebook, it's highly-emotional stuff.