Simply The Worst

WEEK FOUR of the season, and let's get the bad bit over with first. That horrible Glasgow Warriors performance, against Southern Kings in Port Elizabeth was quite simply the worst display I have ever seen from any Scottish team. It was right up there with such football lowlights as the Iran game in 1978 and Kenny Dalglish's final cap, against Luxembourg.

I thought of my old friend the late David Francey (above) – that was, indeed: “Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! Disaster for Glasgow.”

As for Edinburgh, well, I wasn't expecting much from their trip to Dublin to face Leinster, so I wasn't disappointed when they did indeed lose. But, the red card for Pierre Schoeman – well, South African props have never been known for their intelligence and common, far less good sense.

MEANWHILE, back at home, it's normal service at the top of the Tennent's Premiership, with Ayr and Melrose unbeaten and with the maximum number of bonus-point wins at the top of the table. And, with second-placed Ayr due to host the 'Rose, at Millbrae on Saturday – plus the annual Oktoberfest Beer Festival taking place, Millbrae will be the place to be on Saturday.

I must admit, I didn't fancy Ayr's chances of maintaining their unbeaten start to the season and keeping hold of the Bill McLaren Shield, at Goldenacre on Saturday. Certainly, a great first half had them in the box seat, but, back came Heriot's, and it was touch and go, before Man of the Match Frazier Climo sealed it for Ayr at the death. The Nails, however, remain in third spot.

Frazier Climo - the Kiwi was in great form for Ayr at Goldenacre

Melrose, meanwhile, continued their high-scoring start to the season with a comfortable 38-5 victory over still winless Edinburgh Academical. If it was tight at Goldenacre, it was even-closer at Bridgehaugh, where a very young Stirling County XV, containing no less than eight teenagers, edged out Currie Chieftains 27-24. Currie, however, remain fourth in the table, just ahead of County.

Boroughmuir hold sixth place in the table, in spite of going down 14-23 to seventh-placed Watsonians. At Meggetland. The final game in the league on Saturday was at Mansfield Park, where in the battle of two sides, each seeking their first win, the young Glasgow Hawks, their youth somewhat offset by having four Warriors in their ranks, including capped wingers Lee Jones and Lelia Masaga, proved too-strong for the young and professionalless Hawick; Hawks winning 47-27.

MARR'S 41-17 win over Kirkcaldy at Beveridge Park, was the first time the Fifers have lost at home for 18-months. So, something to celebrate for the Troon lads, but, of greater importance to them was the fact, the win put them top of National League 1.

GHA went second, following their 43-36 win in a high-scoring match at Musselburgh, ahead of Aberdeen GSFP, who won 46-33 at Kelso. Fourth place is held by Jed-forest, who beat Gala 50-24 at Riverside – the only home team to win in this division on Saturday.

Selkirk's 45-34 win at Cartha-Queen's Park took the Soutars above the Braw Lads into fifth place. The top two have 17 points, third and fourth have 16 points with the two Borders clubs on 15. Two points covering the top half of the table, that's a competitive league, and no mistake. The final game in this division on Saturday was at Mayfield, Dundee, where visitors Hamilton beat Dundee HSFP 40-27.

NATIONAL League 2 is led by Biggar, the only unbeaten team of the dozen. They went top after a comfortable 58-7 home win over Falkirk. Second place is occupied by Highland, whose trip back up the A9 on Saturday night was certainly a happy one, after their 47-15 win at Whitecraigs.

Peebles may have lost 31-38 to GHK at Old Anniesland on Saturday, but, they remain third, ahead of Stewart's-Melville, who won 17-13 at Lasswade. The final two games saw Glasgow Academicals beat Howe of Fife 40-31 at New Anniesland and Preston Lodge beat Dumfries Saints 29-21 at Pennypit Park.

NEWTON STEWART were the only one of the 46 Premiership and National League sides to not concede a point on Saturday, beating Hillhead-Jordanhill 27-0 at Hughenden. That performance took them to the head of Natonal League 3, ahead of similarly unbeaten West of Scotland and Gordonians.

West, like Newton, are on 19 points, following their very good 43-5 Burnbrae win over Carrick. Gordonians are one point off the pace, and on Saturday they had a huge 74-5 home win over bottom club Haddington.

Ardrossan Academicals lie fourth, following their 39-10 home win over Orkney, with Perthshire lying fifth after their 45-23 home win over St Boswell's.

EAST REGION 1 is led by Royal High, 43-17 winners at Portobello on Saturday. Royal High have a one point lead over Berwick, who beat Linlithgow 39-14 on Saturday. Defending champions Hawick Harlequins lie third, a further point behind. These are the only unbeaten clubs in the league, while Quins, who were the idle team in the 11-club division on Saturday, have a game in hand over the two above them.

Ex-Hawk Brendan McGroarty - now flying high with Greenock Wanderers

WEST REGION 1 is led by Greenock Wanderers, who beat Allen Glen's 50-32 at the Bearyard on Saturday – Wanderers' fourth straight bonus-point win. Wanderers are averaging 51 points per game, to hold a five point lead over East Kilbride, who won 36-20 at fourth-placed Annan. Glen's occupy third place in this division.

CALEDONIAN 1 is headed by Strathmore, the last unbeaten team in the division, who had a 17-32 win at Dunfermline on Saturday. Glenrothers lie second following their 50-7 home win over Harris Academy FP.

HILLHEAD-JORDANHILL made it five wins from five starts to head the Women's Premier Division, winning 48-24 at Stirling County. Second place is held by Watsonians, who had the biggest win of the day, putting 109 points on Stewartry Sirens, without reply. The ongoing problems of Murrayfield Wanderers saw that club, for so long the standard-bearers of Women's Rugby in Scotland, fail to fulfil their fixture for the fourth straight week.

Oban Lorne head the Women's National League, following their 70-0 win at Greenock Wanderers. That makes it five from five for Lorne. Garioch went four wins from four starts, by winning 48-7 at Howe of Fife. These are the only two unbeaten clubs in this division.