Hallelujah

WELL done the Scotland Under-18 team, beating their English opponents at Leeds at the weekend. Right lads, time to retire, for it will not get any better than that, believe me.

However, the victorious XV now has to face Ireland, at Braidholm on Sunday, knowing that victory will be necessary if we are to contest the European Under-18 Finals.

Pardon the drenching of cold water, but, experience of covering Scotland in both football and rugby leaves me concerned about this game - I fear we will lose this one. After all, we've got form, over many years, in this.

Still, eternal optimism is the default position of the Tartan Army foot soldier in either code. Let's at least enjoy this week.

I have at this point to admit to a wee fondness for Ayr RFC. I played in pink and black, not really my colours, however, I have covered the club's doings for many years and I consider some of the Millbrae Worthies true friends.

The Ayr dream of a league and cup double is very much on. This dream has extra resonance this year by the forthcoming return Down Under of Damien "Skippy" Kelly and everyone around Ayr wants the huge and popular skipper to go out in a real blaze of glory, with both titles won.

But, for that to happen, Ayr have to beat Melrose and Heriot's away, then beat Currie at home - to clinch the league; then they have to beat Boroughmuir at Meggatland and Melrose at Murrayfield to retain the cup. Not even that bloody aweful meerkat would consider that schedule simples.

They have to win these games on successive Saturdays - which if nothing else means April is going to be one high pressure month for the Ayr players, back room staff and supporters. How different from the old days, when the serious rugby was out of the way by the end of March and April was one round of sevens tournaments, with the odd midweek knock-out match thrown in just to keep the tight five interested.

I know this high pressure finale owes much to the terrible weather of December and January, but it has worked out well for the club game in Scotland and if, as should happen, these spring games are watched by big and ethusiastic crowds, then it will surely send a signal to Murrayfield that they got it wrong in so side lining the club game in their rush to control the professional game.

Not that they are likely to take much notice, it has to be added. I am looking forward to the finale to this season, it should be good.

Support the Workers

AT MY village primary school, I suppose I was the middle-class kid, since in my class, I was the only pupil whose father wore a collar and tie to work. I went on to the local Senior Secondary School, which abnormally for such Six Year Schools in 1950s Scotland offered both football and rugby to the boys - I played both.

This marked me out as "different" since our school, although a Senior Secondary, the Scottish equivalent of the English Grammar Schools, also took in all-comers from the immediate catchment area.

Those of us in the A stream were expected to be there for six years and to emerge either to university or into one of the professions, or banking or insurance. This also applied to the B stream, although we in the A stream took Latin, the B stream didn't. (Funnily enough the two future university professors from my year both emerged from the B stream).

If you were put into 1C you were already being looked upon as a future skilled tradesman, likewise the top half of 1D; the bottom half of 1D, and the kids in 1E and 1F were already being guided doon the pit like their faithers. Rumour had it all the boys in 1F had flat tops to their heads, for use as emergency pit props.

The occasional kid beat the system, another of my old schools alumni to now have the prefix Professor before his name started in 1C, but then, if not now, good teaching and a flexible system caught the late developers.

However, this streaming also worked in school sport. Those of us in 1A and 1B were expected to play rugby, indeed, you almost needed a Papal dispensation to play football beyond Third Year.

I played both and somehow got away with it. But, even at 11 the social divisions of the two codes of football were evident. The "clever" supposedly middle-class boys were expected to play rugby, the "working-class" kids played football.

There have been various admittedly lukewarm efforts within rugby to alter this perception in recent years, but, to little avail. Here in Ayrshire it is still easier for the son of a banker from Alloway to progress in rugby than for the son of an unemployed man from Onthank - home of the wonderful car crash TV which is "The Scheme".

The SRU is supposed to be treating club Under-18 rugby the same as the increasingly private school Scottish Schools Rugby Union - I see little evidence of this and until Murrayfield seriously starts encouraging ALL grass roots rugby and not just that involving the public schools and the Edinburgh schools such as Heriot's, Watson's, Stew-Mel and the like, we will struggle.

Of course, what hasn't helped has been the way the Borders has slipped from its previous premier place in the game. A strong Borders has traditionally meant a strong Scotland and right now Borders rugby isn't what it was. Hopefully the wheel will turn and Hawick, Gala and the rest will come back to support Melrose at the top end of the table, but, given the way the Borders economy has withered in recent years, that recovery might be a long time coming.

On my first overseas trip with a Scotland squad, sitting at the front of the team bus with the Alickadoos and the other press men, I found the ritual of the team, up the back of the bus, numbering off prior to departure, both funny and fascinating.

Each member of the official party would call-out his squad number for the tour in order, so it could be ascertained that everyone was on-board. One, two, three etc. they would go; the range of accents, from the languid drawl of the Fettesian: "four", to the bark of the Borders mill worker: "seeven".

Anyone listening would soon be aware that Scottish rugby was a broader church than the slanderous description of the average Murrayfield crowd: "the biggest school reunion in the world" might signify.

There is good work being done at the bottom of the Scottish rugby pile, but, unless the SRU really sets out to grow the game right across Scotland and not merely, as the perception is, within the "right" schools and the "right" clubs, I am afraid we will continue to struggle.

Get into the tougher schools - the prototype "neds" there would relish the chance to legally duff-up other people. Engage the working classes - they will work for you. Get schools rugby working in all schools - the kids are crying out for the support and encouragement.

Shite - But WE Know We Are

WILLIAM Leckie, successor to the late and much-lamented Willie Hunter as the greatest Paisley writer - mind you, any competition in which Andra Neil is the only competition isn't much of a competition - has a favourite Tartan Army story.

Bill was enjoying corporate hospitality after the England v Scotland European Championship game at Wembley in 1996 when, some 30 minutes after the final whistle, the massed ranks of the Tartan Army were allowed out of the stadium.

They had just seen their team lose in heart-rending circumstances, but were they downcast? Of course. Were they intent on wreaking havoc in London?

No, they were singing: "We're Shite, and we know we are". That's chutzpah, in spades.

Sadly. nothing in the intervening years has altered the Tartan Army's view of their football team, while we in the oval ball-following regiment of the TA must surely concur, our rugby team too is shite - but at least we are self-aware.

And, post the Six Nations tournament, our self-awareness is, I would suggest, much more advanced than that of some of the other five countries.

The three Celtic countries and the French are revelling in all those 'England Grand Slam 2011' t-shirts, sweat shirts and the like now being dumped in land-fill sites. England tripping-up on the top step always makes the rest of us feel better about falling flat on our faces further down. But, with a World Cup looming, how are we fixed?

I actually am quite confident about Scotland's chances. True, we lack depth, in particular, if anything happens to "Chunk" Jacobsen, we're doomed, since we don't have another loose head. Staying clear on injuries will be crucial, but: I think we'll get a bit more from the referees in New Zealand and I do feel, we can qualify from our group.

I expect, as in most World Cups, England to have a crisis of confidence somewhere along the way, while I think we've maybe got the hex on Argentine. Mind you, given Scotland's experiences in football's World Cup, I wouldn't be surprised to see Chris Paterson having to kick a last-minute penalty to get us past Georgia.

England - deserved Six Nations Champions, but a long, long way from being the potential winners the Barbouratti and their venal press corps would have us all believe.

Ireland are a team on the downward slope. Their big players: BOD, POC and DOC in the second row, and ROG are not what they were, although BOD for one is still the best in his position in the world. They've got a back row which is as good as our Killer Bees at their best and Tommy Bowe is genuine world-class, but, like us, lack depth of squad.

Wales are genuinely shit. Look for an implosion there. Mind you, they've started early with the Shaun Edwards carry-on.

France - they'll either fall apart as spectacularly as their footballers did in South Africa last year, or they'll cruise through and win the damned thing. They don't even know.

Italy - like us, on their day a match for anyone, but lacking depth and liable to fall to bits under pressure.

No, New Zealand, if they can handle the expectations of a nation, will win on home soil. Otherwise, Australia, South Africa or France.

Wants and Needs

ONE THING which this season's Six Nations Tournament has shown is: the margin between winning and losing in rugby is often small. Aside from the England v Italy match, every game has been a close one, often decided by one referee's call or a single incident.

In such tight matches, the difference between success and failure is often that, while both sides want to win the game - perhaps one or other's need for success is greater, and that need is of ten transferred into victory.

This is surely the case when Scotland and Italy lock horns at Murrayfield on Saturday afternoon. Of course, both countries's players want to win the game - the losers will, after all, take possession of the mythical wooden spoon for a year.

But it would surely not be over-stating or simplifying the situation to say that Scotland NEEDS to win it rather more than the Italians. The tournament began with such high hopes: a terrific series win in the Argentine, followed by a thumping from the peerless All Blacks, followed by a morale-boosting victory over World Champions South Africa, before a hard-fought success over Samoa at Pittodrie had apparently left Scotland well-placed to over-achieve in the Six Nations.

Losing the opener in Paris was disappointing, but hardly the end of the world, and we did score three tries, which hasn't happened too-often of late. Then came the shambles of defeat to Wales and the only slightly-less disappointing defeat at the hands of a less than stellar Ireland. Suddenly we were in the Scottish default position: "We're awe doomed, doomed ah tell ye".

Of course such a position is tailor-made for us having a right good go at the English at Twickenham and after our Braveheart showing on the cabbage patch, the fact the crucial calls went against us was simply another example of fates and the English conspiring against brave Caledonians.

So, where to from there. Given the roller-coaster path of the 2010-2011 season, we'll probably lose to the Italians - that's a realistic assessment, based on years of Scottish teams flattering to deceive in games they shouldn't win, then falling flat on their faces in the follow-up game they are expected to win.

But, let's hope I'm wrong - because we need to beat the Azzuri more than they maybe want to beat us. Victory will show the players, they can win tight games, and will surely set us up better for the build-up to the World Cup this autumn.

Andy Robinson has thankfully kept faith with XIV of the XV who came so close at Twickenham, assuming Kelly Brown is passed fit. Geoff Cross certainly looked the part off the bench against both Ireland and England and with Moray Low maybe treading water a wee bit after his heroics in the Argentine, the Edinburgh man deserves his start.

There is pressure too on Euan Murray, should he be pressed into service off the bench. Alan Tait reckons regular games for Newcastle have got him back to something like his best, let's hope so, for an on-song Murray would be a definite asset to the side.

Low may well be the future, but he, like Johnnie Beattie, has some extra work to put-in for Glasgow to make up lost ground.

We face a difficult group in the World Cup later in the year. Make no mistake we NEED to win on Saturday and put some initial impetus behind us on the road to New Zealand and if we can post a victory and avoid that wooden spoon, well we can maybe move on and take one of the two qualification spots from our World Cup group.

Go for it boys.

Why Us

ANOTHER Calcutta Cup match, another glorious defeat for Scotland. You'd think, after being aware of such an outcome in most of the 50-plus years I've been following rugby, I'd be used to it by now. But still, almost 48 hours after no side at Twickenham, it still hurts.

I don't subscribe to this belief that because there are roughly 10 Sassenachs to every Jock and 25 English players to every Scottish one, they should win every time. They may be bigger, but for me they aint better.

If size and population meant anything, the All Blacks wouldn't be the gold standard in international rugby teams (for three out of every four-year World Cup cycle).

International rugby is increasingly becoming a lottery; matches won by the team which better plays the referee's interpretation of the laws on the day. And when a sport reaches these depths, it has a major problem.

To be fair to the International Rugby Board: unlike their opposite numbers in FIFA, the governing body of football, the IRB actually looks at amending laws which don't appear to be working. They try things out and if they sometimes don't get their tinkering right, they keep trying.

They really HAVE to sort out two key areas when next they look at the laws, post this year's World Cup - the scrum and the breakdown.

The breakdown has been rugby's prodigal son for a couple of decades now. I remember old Norman Mair, the Gandalf of the press box, penning chapters of pieces on the need to reintroduce the need to play the ball with feet at rucks - this was at least 25-years ago. His cries fell on deaf ears then and have apparently even less likelihood of being heard today.

From a purely Scottish point of view, the day the IRB set about emasculating the ruck, they handicapped Scottish rugby. Scotland and New Zealand were the principal rucking countries, but the likes of England, Wales and to a lesser extent South Africa, those countries whose forwards' approach to the breakdown was: run up to it and fall down, carried the day and real rucking vanished from the game.

BRING BACK REAL RUCKING - you'll immediately have a faster, more fluid game. OK, I accept the breakdown has to be better policed, so maybe, as they have in American Football, we bring in more officials, specifically to police rucks and scrums.

The scrum, and as a fully-paid-up member of the freemasonry of the tight five, I love scrums. Apart from heavyweight boxing, there is no purer form of man-to-man combat than a set scrum. It's intoxicating for those of us who are versed in its dark arts; it's a crucial part of the game and if your scrum is dominant and you lose the game - Why and how did you manage it?

But the scrum today, particularly at international and professional club level, is a mess. Given that props have long tended to be the intellectuals of the game, regardless of what the IRB might decide to do to sort things out, ways round the amended laws will quickly be found, so it will be a long battle to sort things out.

But, two things would immediately help: 1, for referees to insist on scrum halves putting the ball in straight and straight down the middle of the tunnel and 2, sorting out the binding.

I have long thought, given how many props today cannot bind properly and given that the modern skin tight shirts don't have the "give" of the old heavy cotton ones of my generation: there is perhaps a case for either, "grab handles on the outsides of the numbers one and three shirts, onto which the opposing props should hold when they scrum down

Or, if as I have seen suggested, these could give opponents something additional to hang onto when tackling props and are therefore unacceptable; why not have a different coloured area on the props' shirts onto which their opponent must bind - otherwise it's a penalty for not binding properly.

These changes just might lead to fewer scrums collapsing - again, if you have additional officials policing the breakdowns, you have them policing the scrums too.

With the pace of the modern game and the complexity of the laws, maybe the game is too-complex for one man to referee. Even if the IRB doesn't want to go down the road of having another one or two referees on the pitch, the few additional tasks given to the touch judges might be increased.

Speaking of this, after Peter Allen's howler in Cardiff, rugby should maybe adopt a wee practice from basketball, whereby, if the ball goes out of play - an official has to hand it to the team returning the ball to play.

I would still allow the quick line-out, as when a player catches a ball in touch and immediately returns that same ball to play to start a quick counter-attack. But, when as in the contentious incident in Cardiff, a replacement ball is used, then it only becomes "live" once either the touch judge of the referee hands it to the player throwing into the line-out - future Irish whines immediately silenced.

Doing nothing isn't an option - changes have to be made after the World Cup. Let's get the debate going.