It's David Bowie Time - Ch-Ch-Changes Coming

MIDNIGHT on Sunday will be a crucial moment in the life of this and every other blog, website or indeed any type of media outlet operating in Scotland. Because, that's when the new Hate Crime Bill Scotland come into effect – the latest example of this absurd SNP Government of ours proving beyond any doubt they couldnae run a minauge/bath/gird (delete acording to your age).

This is the latest absurdity in a lengthy list of poor law enacted by a party which lost the plot when it lost the 2014 Referendum and has been in the grasp of idiots ever since. This new draconian law is so absurd, even the poor, over-worked officers of Police Scotland – the guys who will be called upon to enforce this new edict, think it's a load of mince.

Really, if it wasn't for the numpties now running things into the ground down in that there Lunnun, I'd be ready to say the Holyrood half-wits were the worst government around. It's maybe just as well England will never let us go, I wouldn't like to live in a Scotland where Haunless Youseless and his gang were calling all the shots.

Any way, once this new law comes into effect, just about anything I write can probably be interpreted as “A Hate Crime” - so, I might be in big bother, soon. However, please be aware, I have no intention of mending my ways – expect the same outrageous content as always from Monday on.

THERE has long been a suggestion that, if the Scottish Rugby Union is at all serious about running a third full-time professional team in the BKT United Rugby Championship, ignore siting it anywhere in Scotland – that hypothetic third team has to be in London and based around London Scottish.

My late elder brother's response to the question: “What's it like living and working down there in the Sudentenland, and what are the English like?” was always to say: “I don't really know, I'm management and I only associate with other Scottish exiles”.

OK, maybe a bit extreme, but, then there is the long-established theory on how things really work in London: “The English decide what's to be done and the Scottish managers make sure the Irish, Welsh and the immigrants do the exact opposite.”

Behind all the joking, it is clear, London Scottish has got contacts right across the City of London and beyond and a capability to pull-in sponsorship and other monies which could not be equalled anywhere in Scotland.

A URC team, operating in London would be a game-changer, bringing additional media interest and also pulling-in exiled fans of the other Scottish teams, not forgetting the Irish, South African and Welsh diaspora in the Sudentenland.

If the SRU was to strike a deal with the Welsh, to take over one of their four URC frnachises and transfer it to a London-based team, built on Scottish, it would be great for Scottish Rugby, as well as for the URC

But, they will need to at quickly. Talks are on-going around what the future will hold for Scottish and the other Tier Two – Championship – clubs in England. We don't yet know how things will look with the Championship, but, we can expect a result some time later this year.

This could see a further dilution in the “Scottish” element of London Scottish, which nobody really wants – Scottish is better than being a feeder team for Harlequins. However, with the current interregnum at Murrayfield, the timing of these current events could not be worse.

THE NEWS this week that the Borders clubs have somehow managed to stop fighting among themselves and put together a collective organisation is bad news for the SRU and, I think in the longer term for Scottish club rugby. More than one vetran administrator has told me, the old District meetings were better than the narrow-vision of the various divisional fora.

I think it rather suited The Junta to have the Borders clubs doing their rats in a sack impression, but, if this new era of mutual respect and co-operation does work, it will make things tough for the Murrayfield Apparatchiks.

They would far rather divide and rule than see the part of Scottish Rugby where Rugby really is the People's Game singing from the one hyn sheet.

Who knows, if the let's bring the decisions closer to home approach works down there, then support will surely follow for devolution to the other Districts. After all, while Dublin does have input to the four Irish Provinces and their teams in the URC, over there, the Provincial Unions have a lot more freedom and democracy when it comes to the club game. This Borders move could catch-on.

If it does, the turf war between the guys running the new Districts and the members of the Club Rugby Board should be fun. There are some very-good people on that Board, there are also one or two whose rugby knowledge is in inverse proportion to their sense of self-importance; just the sort of stooshie we hacks love to write about.

I HAD another rush of shite to the brain on Friday night – I got it into my thick head that Glasgow v Scarlets was happening; sat down to watch it and instead got Leinster v The Bulls. Not that I was complaining, this First v Second clash was a cracking game, two very-good sides going for broke.

This was the sort of game which shows just how entertaining the URC can be and we got some cracking tries over the night. Mind you, the yellow card which Luke McGrath copped in the first half, for a dreadful tackle on the try-scoring Kurt-Lee Arendse had me, not for the first time, wondering what these full-time clubs do all week that even international players cannot tackle properly.

It says a lot about the depth of squad at Leinster that, after a very-tight first half, they were able to move up through the gears in the second to score a most-impressive victory.

 

Filling The No News Void

I HAVE long held that the so-called “stars” of this daft sports-writing game of ours in Scotland – the “fans with lap tops” whose by-lines adorn the back pages of our imploding main stream media outlets and who inhabit the "Golden Triangle: (Celtic Park, Hampden, Ibrox), are at their best in the close season, when, with no actual news to report, they are free to make-up all sorts of wild rumours as to who will be the latst foreign mercenary to be photographed kissing the badge for one or other of the twin cheeks of Scottish fitba's erse.

If you move to a higher plane in this wide world of sports, it is also true that that national treasure: 'Test Match Special' is often at its best when rain stops play and the team are free to ruminate on all sorts of different subjects to fill otherwise “dead air time” .

Sadly for me and the other Old Farts in rugby-writing, being opinionated bar stewards by nature, we have seldom been given licence by the Murrayfield Mandarins to think too much about where the game is going. They used to give permission for the likes of Bill McLaren, Bill McMurtrie, Norman Mair and Brian Meek to think deeply on the game. Alan Massie's Saturday column in The Hootsmon was required reading, but elsewhere, since John Beattie figuratively trampled on Murrayfield sensibilities once too-often in his Herald column, HQ began to play hard ball and over-trenchant opinion pieces have all but vanished from popular discourse up here.

Fortunately, there is still that Daft Old Bugger, sitting in his cave in the foothills of East Ayrshire, who is prepared to wade-in where others fear to tread, so here goes.

Media debate as to whether or not Gregor Townsend should have his contract as Scotland Had Coach renewed probably sits well with John McGuigan, Colin Rigby and the other decision-makers in EH12. Because, if we are obsessing about whether or not Toony is still the man to lead us into Rugby World Cup 2027, then it leaves them free to concentrate on the bigger picture – which “Three Musketeers” are they going to bring in to fill the vacancies for:

• A Chief Executive

• A Chief financial Officer

• A Director of Rugby

We have something like 30 internationals to play in the three and a half years between now and the start of the next World Cup campaign, surely plenty of time to find and bed-in a new coach, should either the SRU or Townsend, or both, decide he should not carry-on. We do not have anything like that time to fill the three big jobs, get the newcomers surveying what they have taken-on and putting in place the steps they want to take to improve the health of the organisation.

Speculation has been rife around perhaps promoting an insider to fill one or even all of the vacancies, with names such as Al Kellock being mentioned – or that of Jon Petrie, now he has left Ulster.

No harm to either gentleman, but, Glasgow Warriors and Ulster are subsidiaries of a larger body – in both cases their national union. Both are SMEs – that's a Small to Medium Enterprise, an organisation employing under 250 people and having a turnover of less than £50 million per annum.

The SRU is a large organisation, it is a National Governing Body – the skill-sets required to run that are somewhat different from the jobs they have been doing. The SRU has hired a “head-hunting” company to help them find the right person for cerrtainly the CEO vacancy and probably the CFO post as well. This is standard procedure in Big Business.

With regard to replacing Jim Mallinder, I quote from the published minutes of Scottish Rugby Limited's December board meeting: “Jim Mallinder, Director of Performance Rugby, had decided to step down from his role in the Summer of 2024. Discussions were underway to identify a suitable replacement.”

That meeting took place on Thursday, 14 December. This meant the SRU had six months' notice of Mallinder leaving. I write this in the last week of March, 15 weeks later. If we take 30 June as Mallinder's leaving date, that's 13 and a bit weeks away, so, the SRU has already used-up more than half of the available recruitment time.

I would expect they have made progress towards hiring the new man, however, in those 15 weeks, the vacancy has not appeared on the SRU's website, so, as used to be the case with being Tory Party leader, are the SRU consulting some sort of rugby “Magic Circle” to unearth someone suitable? Surely the clubs, who we are always told are the Union, deserve to know what is happening.

The SRU is a National Governing Body, it matters to the people of Scotland. It is not a Masonic Lodge, this secrecy and lack of communication does it no favours. OK, I can live with going down the Head Hunter route for the two non-rugby jobs, but, do we really need to be so-secretive around the DoR job?

Of course, if the SRU had a Communications Department which was fit for purpose, and somebody competent running it, the Scottish rugby press would be called-in and, without necessarily divulging names, fed wee tit-bits:

• We have consulted widely (the likes of Ian McGeechan and Jim Telfer have given us their opinions on the sort of person we might appoint

• There has been interest from across the world of rugby, with several big names showing interest

• Ideally we would like to appoint a Scot and have a couple of people in mind.

It is standard procedure in Football, for the press pack to be given at least “a wee steer” as to what is happening, if for no reason other than to prevent wilder speculation.

Regarding the CEO and CFO posts. The SRU has a good relationship with many of Scotland's biggest companies. While the SRU is classed as a “Large Company” - over 250 employees and a turnover in excess of £50 million pa, it is still a relatively-small operation.

I presume, theHead Hunters in seeking the new man have been speaking to the highest High Heid Yins at some of the Union's really big partners and sponsors, might one of these have a promising young executive who they would like to evaluate running a bigger operation on his or her own, to see how they do, and be willing to second or loan-out this person to the SRU for a period? It might quickly fill the vacancies.

I certainly hope the Head Hunters have been asking around among these same partners and sponsors, could they recommend any executives, from companies other than their own, who might be able to do a job for the Union. No stone should be left unturned in this search. But again, a semi-competent Communications Department would be briefing the press on what progress is being made and where the SRU is in its search.

FINALLY – Great to see Louise McMillan winning her 50^th ap for Scotland Women in Saturday's Guinness Women's Six Nations match v France, at The Hive. Her Dad, one of the stalwarts of the Birkmyre club, a Facebook friend of mine and a guy who deserves to enjoy the reflected glory of his lassie's achievement.

 

Locking Up Our Future

AT THE RISK of boring you again Dear Reader, can I just say (and to be truly-effective, the next bit is best read in a Yorkshire accent), but: “It weren't like this in my yooung days – yooung journalists these days, they don't know they're born – 'avin' greet stories fed to them on bloody platter, if they had to go out and graft to get a story, 'twould kill 'em”.

This diversion into 'I Didn't Know You Cared' country was brought about by an email from the hard-working BKT United Rugby Championship media team, highlighting that a somewhat forgotten Scotland cap is currently ripping-up trees in darkest West Wales.

The profiled player is Alex Craig of Scarlets, (above) - back to full fitness after a too-long series of injuries derailed his career at Gloucester. Life in Wales is clearly suiting the man from Castle Douglas, to the extent he was re-called to the Scotland squad for the recent Guinness Six Nations, although he was unable to add to the two caps he won, against Italy and France in 2021.

After those two caps, off the bench, injuries began to hinder Alex's progress and last summer, after only 49 games for the Cherry and Whites, he was released, but quickly snapped up by the Scarlets, where a regular run of games and his good form got him back into the national squad.

At Stewartry Rugby Club, coming through the age groups, Alex was a team mate of Stafford McDowall and Northampton's Robbie Smith. Like them he won Scotland Under-20 honours, but while McDowall and Smith went into the Glasgow Academy, Craig went south to that prolific Gloucester nursery at Hartpury College, then onto Kingholm.

One suspects Gregor Townsend will be keeping an eye on events at Llanelli on Friday night, when Craig will go toe to toe with Max Williamson and Alex Samuel, the two young Warriors' locks. This game should give Toony an idea which locks he might want to take on the Summer Tour to the Americas.

Scotland is well-off for younger locks at the moment. Take away the three thirtysomethings: the Gray Brothers and Grant Gilchrist, and Craig is one of a clutch of young locks, battling to join Scott Cummings in the boiler-house.

With Craig, Sam Skinner, Glen Young, Cameron Henderson, Jamie Hodgson and Marshall Sykes, plus Williamson and Samuel all in contention, competition for tour places is going to be intense between now and the tour squad being named.

But, given his current form, Alex Craig could well join Ian McGregor and John Barclay in that elite list of Llanelli-based Scotland caps.

DOWN AT what you might call the “Red Tops end” of Rugby Union's social media outlets, the Boers are being even-more boorish than usual, seemingly sendible, apparently grown men, having orgasms over a single scrum.

This came in the URC match between The Sharks and Ulster. Ox Nche came off the bench for the South African side and in his first scrum, as we old props say: “He gave Tom O'Toole his wings”, hoisting the Ulster tight-head off his feet as the home eight really put down the power.

Now, “getting your wings” is an unfortunate rite of passage in the front row, BUT, and this is the bit which appears to have passed some eight foot over the jubilant Saffer fans' thick heads, at the elite level, it only ever happens when something has gone badly wrong for the player who is hoisted.

There might be several small reasons: maybe O'Toole got his positioning all wrong, perhaps he didn't get the right support from his lock, there could be one, or even several factors involved. You see such scrums a lot further down the food chain, where perhaps a more-experienced prop schools his immediate opponent. But, at that level, it seldom occurs.

Didn't stop the Saffer fans crowing like Foghorn Leghorn on steroids, but, what they failed to appreciate is, O'Toole was at the end of a particularly hard 61 minute shift, the Ox had just come on seven minutes previously. Ulster immediately withdrew O'Toole and his replacement, the 21-year-old Scott Wilson handled the Ox very-well in the remaining scrums.

So, why were the Saffer fans getting so-excited over that one scrum – methinks they were trying to convince themselves that all was well with the world.

I LIKE wee Rob Robertson, but, fear he has maybe spent too-long working for The Daily Heil – the right-wing tabloid that never lets the facts get in the way of a good story. That's my view, following a couple of recent pieces he has crafted for his new gig with Scottish Rugby News.

In reecent articles he has incorrectly identified John Jeffrey as “a past SRU President”, while identifying John McGuigan as the current holder of that office. The serving President is, of course Colin Rigby. Jeffrey was, as McGuigan currently is, Chairman of Scottish Rugby Ltd. Different jobs – I would have expected Rob to have known the difference.

FINALLY – the Rugby Rumour Mill is working overtime at the moment, around the shuffling of the deck chairs inside Scottish Gas Murrayfield. The word is the preferred option is for Gregor Townsend to move upstairs to become Director of Rugby, to be replaced as Scotland Head Coach by Franco Smith.

However, the alternative scenario sees someone else, with present Warriors Honcho Al Kellock the main one of four names in this frame, taking the DoR job, since Toony apparently doesn't want to become a desk jockey just yet, and wishes to continue in his present post.

Still no clues yet as to who might get the big job, succeeding TCD as CEO – that's going to be the really-difficult slot to fill.

A wee bit of a storm in the social media tea-cup around the process for finding Dodson's replacement – with some critics suggesting there ought to be a public recruitment process, with the job being advertised so we can see the qualities the SRU think desirable for their new Honcho. Others are seemingly quite happy with the usual SRU secrecy around leaving the task to a “head-hunting” recruitment company.

Some want “a rugby man” with the names of Kellock and the newly-departed former Edinburgh and Ulster CEO Jonny Petrie being name-checked. I also saw one suggestion that another former Glasgow High Heid Yin – Nathan Bombrys – should be brought back from his current position as CEO of Rugby Canada, to take charge at Murrayfield.

My own view is, we should get the CEO and Cchief Financial Officer posts filled and allow the newcomers something like a new President or Prime Minister's “First 100 days” to gauge the fitness or otherwise of the existing executive team, before we do anything too-serious round these other jobs.

Methinks professional rugby gets more like professional football every day – except we haven't (yet) got into the ridiculous money phase.

 

An' Furrit, Tho' Ah Canna See, Ah Guess And Fear

I AM GETTING really worried about the future of Scottish Rugby. The common thread running through 2024 has been conflict and argument; ok, we Scots do have a reputation as an argumentative bunch of moaning-faced bar stewards, but, we've been in overdrive this year – and I don't see things calming down any time soon.

At the moment the Scottish Rugby Union is in an interregnum. The period between the passing of one absolute ruler and the installation of another. Until this upheaval is sorted-out, we cannot put the Union's affairs on an even keel. This cannot happen until the replacement for the Fat Mancunian is in-place. Nothing can happen until this is sorted-out, and one reason for the continued uncertainty is – TCD has made damned sure he was surrounded by people who were no threat to his authority – basically, until his replacement is in-place, turmoil will continue.

But, we are not only lacking a CEO, we are also looking for a new Performance Director and a Financial Director – and in the present economic climate that third job just might be the most-important. So, getting these jobs filled – quickly and well – has to be the main thrust, for the moment, for John McGuigan, Colin Rigby and Lorne Crerar. Meanwhile, I hope they are keeping a close eye on 'The Consigliere' – who I presume is driving the bus while TCD is off work.

Following his departure from Ulster, there have been suggestions in the BTL comments on The Offside Line, that former Scotland cap and Edinburgh CEO Jonny Petrie might be the man to succeed TCD. Let's kick that one into touch right away. No harm to Petrie, or to Warriors' Al Kellock, but, running the whole SRU is a few steps up from running a single team and neither is ready. A more-likely candidate is still Dominic McKay, provided he could be persuaded to leave his nice wee earner in Laussane, to come back to Scotland.

But, the SRU's head hunters are probably combing the world of big business to find the next Honcho, although, as I understand it from contacts in London Scottish, with connections to the City of London – last time they trawled the City for a top executive, the expression “barge pole” came up quite frequently around the initial approaches. Replacing the Fat Mancunian will not be easy.

I don't think we can really move forward until the three big jobs are filled and the new arrivals have had time to find out how the SRU actually works, and decide who we replace further down the food chair with people who can do the job. I fancy, if the new High Heid Yins are at all competent, the departure llounge might be quite busy.

So, I can see us stumbling around in semi-darkness for at least the next year, but, on the bright side, that will still give us two years to get things right for the nex World Cup.

But, putting things right will call for something which has been a feature of Scottish life for centuries now – us all pulling in the same direction, and, it might be easier to herd cats than to get the Scots to pull together.

Speaking of which: as I could have telt The Junta, before they confirmed their rush of shite to the brain, be careful what you wish for. In spite of coming to what I still believe to be the best least-worst solution to the impossible mission of what to do to replace Super rugby, all they have done is upset the more-easily-upset among the clubs. I hear threats of a Special General Meeting being called, such is the level of discontent.

My position is clear, such is the state of Scottish Rugby, sorting things out is a clean sheet of paper job. Start afresh, another re-shuffle of the deckchairs will just mean we remain in as bad a state as we have been since the game went Open, and probably longer.

Mind you, to do things properly, World Rugby will need to get involved as well, because the International game is in just as bad a state as the domestic one. For instance, I would like to see acceptance of the need to have a better structure to the season, for the Professional as well as the “amateur” Club game.

For the Club game, I would suggest the following format:

1. The League season – 18 straight games, season over before Christmas

2. Shut-down over Christmas and New Year, resuming in the New Year

3. National Cup, Shield and Bowl campaign

4. Inter-District campaign, with District Cups for those players not involved

5. A properly-structured and managed Sevens season, involving leagues at National and District level.

For the Professional Game, I would suggest the following format:

1. The League season – playing down to the Grand Final

2. The European season, with another competition for the lower-ranked clubs, as with the League season – playing all the way down to the finals

3. The Six Nations – a new format to the season would ensure it was played in firm pitches, in good weather

I MEANT to write in my last post, but had a rush of shite to the brain and forgot, but, while he is now a Yesterday's Man as far as the national team is concerned, Sean Maitland still looked a top-class operator, after his belated call-up to the Saracens team which hammered Harlequins on Saturday.

He took his tries well and was always a running threat.

FINALLY – and this is bound to be controversial in Scotland, because I am on the side of Owen Farrell and Austin Healy. But, our lovely southern neighbours are getting their knickers in a twist over an incident late in Saturday's Harlequins v Saracens game, and the fall-out from it.

Farrell was on the ground when he was hit late by 'Quins' South African skipper Stephan Lewies. Play carried-on and Sarries scored, but, Healy had spotted what was a blatant foul hit on Farrell. He rightly called it a “cheap shot” and flagged it up in the replay.

However, Stuart Terheege took no action and didn't ask referee Christophe Ridley to have a look at the incident – apparently because he didn't want them to be influenced by the television coverage.

All very noble and Corinthian, but, wrong, totally wrong. Leweis's action was indeed such a cheap shop it was Poundstretcher quality. By rights he should have been at the very least yellow carded, but, no action.

The game really does need to have a close look at TMO protocols.

 

Safely Oot - Are The Moss Troopers Happy Now?

BACK IN the 1960s, as Jock Stein began to work his magic at Celtic Park, across town, the Rangers' board collectively shat their pants and sacked long-serving manager Scot Symon – when they were sitting at the top of the Scottish League.

The decision to dump a Manager who had won 20 trophies, and taken his teams to a couple of European and one FA Cup finals during a 20-year spell in the hot seats at East Fife, Preston North End as well as Rangers was the start of a rocky spell for the club, who didn't really get back to their old pre-eminence until the arrival of Graeme Souness nearly 20 years later.

Now, I dare say the fall-out may not be as-extreme, and I will not be around to see how things truly unfold, but, I would not be surprised if, some time in mid-century, and old and extremely crabbit David Barnes is not forced into penning a retrospective in which he traces ongoing ructions in Hawick to the decision to not renew Matty Douglas's contract as Head Coach.

(Above picture of Matty Douglas, shamelessly lifted from Craig Watson),

It's a good rule of thumb in covering Scottish Rugby to – unless like Young Master Barnes – you are of the true faith, steer clear of internal Hawick politics, but, I will say this, the last time I covered a game from Mansfield Park, some year back now, I must admit – the Greens back then were a shambles.

George Graham did a great job in steadying the ship and in the past couple of seasons, Douglas has turned things around even more. It seems strange to see the parting of the ways, although, there have been rumours for some time that all was not well in the club.

With the demise of Super Rugby, and some of the players from that tier of the game likely to remain with the clubs who had franchises, it's going to be a tough ask for Hawick to maintain their primacy in the new season – particularly after this upset.

I AM SORRY, but, I would like to get excited about the return of Inter-District Rugby, indeed, I suggested this might be a good idea for the long-term benefit of the game up here.

However, when I made that call, I envisaged an Inter-District tournament for the best club players as a means of better deciding which, if any, might be best equipped to advance, via Super Rugby to a possible professional contract.

But, the decision to abolish Super Rugby has put the kybosh on that scenario; instead what we have is, to my mind a fairly-meaningless tournament, in which the only possible winners might be those coaches who can put together a squad to win the thing.

Sure, one or two of the younger players might have a chance of career advancement, but, as ever in Scotland, actually winning the thing seems to be more-important than player development. Clearly, quite a few of the first-choices in the four squads saw the bus to a possible professional career depart the terminus lang syne.

Also, as I have been saying for years, our seasonal calendar is all wrong.

RESULT of the day in the club game was surely my old club CUMNOCK reaching the semi-finals of the National Shield, by beating Oban Lorne, in Oban. Both clubs are in West Division One, a division in which, with the exception of runaway leaders Ardrossan Academicals, every team is capable of beating every other team on any given Saturday. So, to make the long trip to Oban and win was a smashing result for the Broomfield boys.

Dare we dream of another outing to Murrayfield?

Speaking of Ardrossan, they lost for the first time this season on Saturday, when they lost 20-22 at Moray in the same competition. You can hardly call this a shock loss, since Moray are top of the Caledonia North Conference.

FINALLY, in this segment, since I am unashamedly bigging-up Ayrshire Rugby in this post, congratulations to Garnock, who got over the line at the weekend, thumping Greenock Wanderers 66-7 at Lochshore to clinch the National League 4 title. With Irvine winning the West Bowl, congratulations to a club which has gone through hell in recent years, by the way – things are looking up in God's County.

I WOULD never be as crass as to suggest England's Gallagher Premiership is a poor league. There are some wonderful players in there and, in recent seasons, with financial reality (to a degree) biting, and the lack of relegation, I would suggest the entertainment level has gone up.

But, regardless of my respect for David Flastman and Austin Healy – (yes, I know he can go too-far on occasions, but, he knows his stuff) - the constant “isn't this wonderful” style of cheer-leading from their TV publicists gets right up my nose.

That said, rampant Saracens put on a show against Harlequins on Saturday, and, the way the game was publicised and marketed, to the extent they sold-out Tottehnam Hotspur's Stadium was impressive. Sadly, I can never see Glasgow or Edinburgh selling-out Hampden or Murrayfield for a club game. We just do not have the rugby audience, or the media interest in the game, up here to replicte that level of bums on seats.

The big bonus from the Premiership this season is, we get to see MacMessi on TV every week – he is worth the subscription alone, whether playing or giving his off the cuff pre and post-match observations. His drunken, left-footed drop goal in Bath's win over Sale was yet another unexpected joy.

FINALLY – I reckon as he sat with his morning coffee this morning, perhaps reading through the weekend rugby review in various papers, Gregor Townsend gave thanks (again) for not being English.

England's women team had a player red carded after only ten minutes, and another yellow carded later, but still managed to beat Italy 48-0 in their opening Women's Guinness Six Nations match.

Yet their “fans with lap tops” in the media were unimpressed, calling the win “lacklustre” . I often wonder what English team members in any sport have to do to meet the demands of “England Expects”. Nearly 50 points scored, playing all but the first ten minutes one player short and they are complaining.

If our men's team did that, we would be demanding a knighthood for Toony.

 

Watching Scottish Sports Teams Can Be Tough

WE ALL have heard that old Scottish joke, about the Archangels chiding God for, as part of his Grand Plan, giving so-many riches to the top part of one small island off the North West Coast of Europe – only for God to reply: “Maybe I am giving them too-much, but, wait till you see who they are getting for neighbours.”

An alternative punch line might have The Almighty saying: “Perhaps, but then they have to follow their national sports teams”. Between events in Amsterdam and Scotstoun on Friday night, it was as clear as it has ever been, following Scotland's big teams – it's the hope that kills.

Leaving aside the Fitba, the Rugby Union, between Glasgow Warriors and Cardiff was a hard watch. Warriors won, but, this was yet another ugly victory. Still, they all count and you don't get or lose bonus points according to the artistic impression of entertainment value.

Of course, conditions were horrific – again – has there ever been as rain-soaked a season as 2023-24? I certainly cannot recall as many games played in monsoon conditions. The wind and rain certainly aided Cardiff in the first half. I honestly felt they were a 20-point advantage to the side (Cardiff) with first use of them, That the visitors failed to eke-out that big a lead was testimony to the quality of the Glasgow defence as much as to the fact, those ghosts who used to sit in 'Legends Corner' in the Cardiff clubrooms, now looking down from the great Clubhouse in the Sky, must have been wincing.

I mean Cardiff, the club of Cliff Morgan, Dai Watkins and Barry John, having a kicking South African at ten – it goes against the grain. Although, to be fair, Tinus de Beer was a major factor in the visitors winning the first half.

However, having found their mojo, and perhaps seen a reverse rain dance pay off, during the interval, Glasgow came out to win the second half and the match. They kept the faith with their systems, and with the help of one or two big performances, mainly from Man of the Match Jack Dempsey, try-scorer Max Williamson and the place kicking of Dunky Weir, they chalked-up another win.

Kudos too to Jamie Dobie and the centres, plus skipper Kyle Steyn for getting the job done. OK, the hoped-for bonus point wasn't garnered, but, a win is a win and regardless of results elsewhere Warriors are still a top three team this week.

By the way, I have often criticised Frank Murphy over the course of his long refereeing career, but, I have to admit, in recent years I have felt he was improving. He had one of his better games on Friday night, I just wished the old Murphy had still been about – he would probably have allowed that Kyle Steyn try which was rightly disallowed for a forward pass.

Mind you, I suppose I do owe the much-maligned Murphyia of Irish referees an apology – that ridiculous decision by Scotland's Colin Brett when he missed an obvious case of hands in the ruck, to gift Ulster a try against The Sharks on Saturday was even worse than the Brian MacNeice boob which denied us a win against France.

EDINBURGH'S match with The Stormers in Cape Town was another hard watch, but for a different reason. It is no secret, trips to face the four South African clubs in the Rainbow Nation are always going to be difficult. For a start the European clubs are generally going from the Northern Hemisphere seaspon of the year and conditions they know to totally alien conditions for playing rugby.

Add the travel disruption, and, although it wasn't a factor for Edinburgh, the altitude problem on the high veldt, plus, the South African sides are generally a lot harder to beat when they have home advantage.

So, I wasn't too-confident of Edinburgh's chances as they left, and my foreboding proved prescient. I wouldn't say it was as big a hammering as the score line might indicate, but, Edinburgh wer a poor second and never really looked like winning thee game.

Still, WP Nel got to enjoy his 200^th club game in front of his family and friends, Jake Henry impressed on debut and the younger players will have learned a lot from the experience.

However defeat means Edinburgh are still deeply embroiled in the scrap for the lower berths in the knock-out stages and they face another hard game this weekend, as they move on to Durban to face the star-studded Sharks, who earned themselves a much-needed confidence boost by beating Ulster in a somewhat niggly match earlier on Saturday.

Given the talent at their disposal, the Natal-based Sharks' lowly league position seems strange, but, on Saturday there were signs that maybe they were starting to click, which is ominous for Edinburgh.

I DID try to watch the Wales v Scotland match later on, but, to be honest, I could not stand the commentary and opted-out. A terrific win for Scotland, however, with some great individual performances. We certinly have some talented backs, with wingers with genuine pace, however.

Kudos too to Bryan Easson for the job he has done in moulding the team into such a tight group. However, that old Scottish Achilles Heel was again evident, as we messed-up a few lines-out in the Welsh red zone.

I know times are hard at Murrayfield, but, could they not find a line-out coach from somewhere to work across all the Scottish representative teams, from the two pro sides up? We've been getting things wrong at the touchline, in promising positions, for years – surely the problem is fixable.

Finally, on the women's game. I still believe, women's rugby would benefit from playing with a size 4 rather than a full-sized 5 ball.

 

Another Buddy Failure

REGULAR READERS of these rants already know, I frequently flirt with the new Scottish Hate Speech Bill – the SNP Government's latest effort to show the SRU Junta, that when it comes to getting things wrong, the lads at EH12 are mere beginneers - through my criticism of Buddy the Elf and the quarter-wit of the SRU Communications Department.

Well, here we go again, there's more. Apparently the Inter-District Championship kicks-off this weekend; the big showcase for the club game, with the best of the best of our club players going head-to-head. You might think The Junta would be moving heaven and earth to hype this up give it a boost. But, this is an SRU show, so you'd have thunked wrong.

It requires a really deep and forensic examination of the SRU website to find any mention of the games. As I have been saying for years, there are some time-servers inside The Junta who couldn't run a bath – far less help run a sport's governing body.

Assuming we get a competent new Honcho, to replace the departing Fat Mancunian, he's going to go through a broom even faster than dear old Trigger, to sweep out all the deadwood cluttering-up Headquarters.

TO RETURN to the Inter-District Championship – I see the way this has been organised this season as yet another example of the muddled lack of thought at HQ. It's not under the remit of Performance Rugby, it will involve the amateur players, so, the organisation has been amateurish.

Leave aside my criticism of the lack of a sales effort from the elves, I question the timing. Back when the game really was amateur from top to bottom, the Inter-District games served a purpose – in sorting out who really were our best players and getting them ready for the Five Nations, as it then was.

Holding those games in November and December told our best guys it was time to up their game, if they wanted to appear in the International Trials and then the actual Internationals.

When it was decided to bring back Inter-District games, I could see them being a sorting-out tier, to suggest which of the best club players might be worth a punt at Super rugby and perhaps might train-on to get a shot at the professional game.

But, with Super rugby biting the dust, what's the reasoning now? It's not as if we still have a Club XV, a team where these games could be a good sorting-out level. So, reasons for holding the event, spurious in the least, timing questionable, sales effort from Murrayfield – it's coming across as yet another example of: if the SRU can mess something up, they will.

I don't see many spectators, other than family and friends, showing up at either Stoneyhill, for Edinburgh v The South or Braidholm, for Glasgow and The West v Caledonia Reds today. A bit more thought required for what could, if properly set-up, be a welcome return to this level of rugby.

CHATTING last week to one of the pillars of that influential segment of the Scottish Rugby family – a farmer, he was having a good old moan about global warming, Well, not exactly global warming, more the fact we don't get hard winters these days, just rain, rain and more rain.

“I've got 500 ewes due to start lambing any day, and no dry fields to put them out into to ease pressure on the lambing sheds,” was his complaint. This coming on top of having to get his new crop of calves out as well.

The poor old bugger is down to his last two Ranger Rovers, so I had to sympathise with his predicament. However, it got me thinking, I remember back at the start of this millennium, that erudite St Mirren manager Tom Hendrie, a man who, with an Honours Degree in Mathematics, was far-too clever to be running a Scottish football team, saying the problem this century would be field drainage rather than frozen pitches. That with global warming, getting rid of the water would be the bigger problem.

Given the problem Hendrie's first club, Dundee, had at the weekend with a pitch which turned into a bog, the scholarly Mr Hendrie was indeed a visionary.

There are still, certainly further down the food chain, a lot of league games still to be played-off in rugby this season, and already the club season has been expanded into May.

This came up on the blog's think tank discussion earlier this week, with one stalwart of the club game suggesting, that while it would bring its own problems, maybe there was merit in changing the seasonal dates to get us away from the worst of the wet weather.

Mind you, this is Scotland, if we did go to something like a March to November season, monsoons would suddenly start happening up here in mid-season.

BIG DAVID BARNES is really doing a marvellous job in covering events inside the whacky world of Scottish Rugby via The Offside Line. He came up with a cracking two-parter this week, a “round table” discussion on the possibilities around the new Male Performance Pathway.

I commend the articles to the House; several very-good and valid points are raised in it and it will certainly provoke debate around the clubs. Of course, we will not have any indication of the eventual road map, until the new Performance Director is in situ, and has had a look around at the car crash he/she has inherited. So, I fear any improvement will not be immediate.

Ruminating on where we go from here, I had (having what is termed “a left brain”) a “left-field” thought. Given how jealously we Scots guard our Clan lands and areas of intereest; so I thought: why don't we take as our template, the relationship between the “Major” and “Minor” Leagues, in Baseball.

In “America's Game” - it's all about “The Majors” “The Show” - the likes of the New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Los Angeles Dodgers and the other massive teams who compete every year to become World Series winners. But these 30 clubs in the Major Leagues, are the tip of a huge iceberg.

For instance, each Major League club has a feeder club playing at one of six levels of Minor Leagues:

1. Triple-A

2. Double-A

3. High-A

4. Single-A

5. US Rookie

6. International Rookie.

There are strict rules in place as to what players can play at what level of Minor Leagues, and, particularly in the first four levels of leagues, each of the 30 Major League clubs has an affiliate club playing in one or other of the 11 Affiliate leagues across North America.

For instance, each Major League club can have as many as 40 players on the roster, but a maximum of 28 players can be registered as “active” at any point in the season – the rest are injured or on various types of leave. These non-active players also include some players who are playing for Minor League afficilates.

This system ensures, the young talent gets games, alongside and against quality players – stand-out in this company, you have a better chance of making it in the big time. OK, we could not replicate this in Scotland, because in baseball, they play way more than they train, but, by splitting their time between training full-time with the two Academies, and playing for Premiership clubs, aligned to one or other – or better still one of three pro sides, I am sure we could produce a better finished player from our pathway.

We must finally, after some 30 years of Open Rugby, sort ourselves out, or, I can see us falling even further down the ladder than our football team has. But, I acknowledge, overcoming the age-old Scottish problem of clannishness and putting self-interest first, will be an onerous task.