Christmas - Bah! Humbug!

HAMPDEN PARK has been a shite-hole or generations. I have been in there in the final stages of The Glory Years – of attendances of over 130,000 for the bi-annual visit of the English. It was a dismal place to go then. Even when I had graduated to the supposed posh seats in the legendary press box, perched there on the old main stand roof. It was akin to reporting from a war one. On the terraces, you were taking your life in your hands, wading through rivers of pish; but, then, as is still the case today – the High Heid Yins of Scottish Fitba had such contempt for the fans, it was a case of anything will do for them.

The Old Lady of Mount Florida had to have a face-lift, which duly arrived in the 1990s, Wembley was re-developed a year or two later, however, while the Hampden re-development was done as a cheap and cheerful, nip and tuck job, the London Stadium saw real money spent on it – it's almost as if the English were intent on keeping us Jocks in our place. The “Sweaties” will happily accept anything we chuck at them, appeared to be the thinking in London.

Of course, if Scotland was a real grown-up, self-governing nation, instead of England's last colony, we would be governed by politicians with a bit of pride in their nation, who would say: “We have this wonderful sporting heritage, so, we need a proper, 21^st century National Stadium.” They would then build it, maintain it and make sure the major sporting bodies in Scotland used it.

But, let's be honest, we aint gonna get that sort of leadership or drive from the zombies who inhabit the pews at Holyrood and down in that there Lunnun – where we have regressed to once again sending “Low-Flying Jimmies and Jessies” to represent Scotland in what is laughingly called “The Mother of Parliaments”.

Of course, when it comes to Rebellious Scots to crush, England's time-honoured divide and conquer tactic no longer requires General Wade and thoosands o' Redcoats – there are enough Proud Scots – But in the Caledonian Establishment who barely meet Jim Sillars' low bar of being: “90 minute patriots” more than happy to do Scotland down.

Sorry – got a wee bit carried away there – anyway, back on-message: Hampden is a shite-hole. Now Scotland's footballing public realised this lang syne, but, is content to tolerate the stadium's failings, since the alternative would be to drive the game even further into the clutches of the Bigot Brothers, both of whom are convinced, their home ground is superior to Hampden and ought to be thr Nastional Stadium: so, we have to have some sort of neutral ground, even if it is a tip.

So, the Fitba public will still turn up to Hampden in numbers. But, will the harder-to-please Rugby public? It is, of course, to the immense credit of Glasgow Warriors that their on-field performances have reached that level of support whereby Scotstoun is too wee for the crowd interest they can attract for big games. Ideally, the SRU might subsidise travel costs and take the bigger European and URC games to Murrayfield's main arena, but, it would still be very-unfair to expect the Glasgow fans to travel along the M8. So, if Glasgow needs an alternative venue, bigger than Scotstoun, then for all its faults – it has to be Hampden.

Which brings us to the problem: Fitba fans seem more-easily pleased, they will tolerate the piss-poor sight lines, the travel chaos, the out-dated facilities inside the ground, Rugby fans demand a wee bit more.

Thus, I was not surprised at the fall-off in spectator numbers for the 2025 Glasgow leg of the 1872 Cup, down somewhat from 2024. Warriors, you have a problem, one which, unfortunately, has no obvious or cheap remedy.

As to the actual game, it unfolded the way I assumed pre-game it might. These were two squads who knew each other's game intimately. Edinburgh, lacking Glasgow's game-breakers in the key positions, had to make it as much of an arm wrestle as possible, which meant there would be a distinct lack of champagne Rugby.

But, I always felt, Glasgow should and would pull away to win well – and the game played-out just like that. However, all things considered, it wasn't much of a game and we learned nothing new from it.

And, for as long as we only have two, full-time, professional sides, we are going to have to get used to let-downs such as the weekend's game.

I HAVE NEVER been an Ellis Genge fan. He is not as unlikeable as the odiously over-rated Marler, but, I have long thought of him as yet another over-hyped Englishman.

For all his exxcellence as a ball carrier and for all the energy he brings to a game, I have long felt he was deficient in the basics of propping; hardly surprising, since scrumming was allowed to deteriorate into a competition to find which eight could best con the referee into awarding a penalty, rather than being a means of restarting the game, the game has gone to the dogs.

But, I must admit, after that extraordinary try he scored for Bristol at the weekend, Young Master Genge is growing on me. Unlike Marler, he has applied himself, is a much-better scrum technician than he was, but, for me, he still has some way to travel.

Any way, not since I watched Steven Longwell rampage from half-way for a try for Ayr against Watsonians, some years ago, have I seen as impressive a front rower's try as that Genge effort at the weekend. OK, it was only against Harlequins, but, it was still the sort of try which made all us old front five donkeys sit up and purr.

 

Les Galactiques sont Battus

GLASGOW IS A FOOTBALL CITY. It is a sad fact of life for the city's Rugby Union community, that they will, seemingly for ever, be viewed as not quite right in the head, for following the handling rather than the kicking code of Football.

However, right now in this year of 2025, it is the city's premier Rugby Union side that is making waves, as was demonstrated on Saturday night, when Glasgow Warriors gave Les Galactiques of Stade Toulouse a 21 point start, before charging back in the second half to beat them in their Investec Champions Cup meeting at Scotstoun.

This victory just might be the finest in the club's history, it certainly places Warriors in the front line of European club Rugby and this win, beating a top-class, star-studded team contrasts vividly with the city's two top Football teams losing to mid-ranking opponents in their midweek matches, in the second tier of European club football.

The conditions on Saturday night were terrible, with Warriors being asked to play into a “20 point hurricane” for the opening 40 minutes, But, once they had been spoken to by Head Coach Franco Smith at the break, Warriors harnessed the elements brilliantly, upped their game and stormed back to win.

Smith really earned his corn at half time, calming down those elements in his side who were not reacting too well to yet another terrible demonstration of poor refereeing from England's Matthew Carley.

Carley is one of those officials who goes onto the park with his mind already made up a to which of the two sides is the superior one, and he proceeds to favour them all through. This nearly got to Glasgow, but, they ignored the poor officiating and in the end, they persevered.

Adam Hastings got the official call for Man of the Match; in truth, any one of the Glasgow team could have taken it, there were no failures, with some of the lesser lights standing up to be counted.

The problem for Warriors now is – they've laid down a marker for this season, this is the level of performance we expect them to maintain going forward. If they can do that, who knows what may be waiting for the club in 2026.

I FULLY SUPPORT the SRU's decision to, as far as humanly possible, go with Scottish players. However, the drawbacks to this were shown in Edinburgh's defeat to Castre on Sunday.

Sean Everitt left a good few first picks out of his starting XV in France, partly though injuries, but the SRU's rest protocols for members of the International Squad also came into play. This did not appear to be much of an issue in the first half, which ended with the French side leading by an unconverted try to nil, but, after the turn-round, Castre upped the ante and, hard though they tried, the Edinburgh side just could not cope.

Received wisdom has it that the French sides are different animals, home and away in Europe, and this game in many ways reinforced this point of view. We didn't really expect Edinburgh to win over there, so the fact they didn't is not too-much of a set-back. Put this one down to experience.

WARRIORS weren't the only side from the West facing a huge challenge on Saturday. Ayr's seemingly serene progress towards another Scottish club title faced its biggest challenge, with the visit to Malleny Park to face second-placed Currie Chieftains. This was where they suffered their only defeat last season and, having already had a fright from Currie in their early season meeting at Millbrae, this one was a real challenge for Grant Anderson and his squad.

There was also the small question of the Bill McLaren Shield being on the line in this game, so a real challenge for the Millbrae Men. When the half time whistle sounded, Currie were narrowly ahead, but, just as Warriors later that day would find their feet in the second half, so Ayr turned on the power to maintain their season-long perfect record of bonus point wins.

Ayr now have, with a mere six fixtures to play in the Arnold Clark Premiership, a 22 point lead at the top of the table. Unless there is an unprecedented collapse, it's now a case of when, not if, they secure the regular season title and first-place seeding in the end of season play-offs.

I DECIDED not to risk the day for the Buddies, by passing on the Celtic v St Mirren League Cup final – it proved a wise move, although I did switch over in time to see the final two goals. Not that I have anything against Celtic, but, my time on the Paisley Daily Express has left me with a soft spot for the town team.

I was watching the Toulon v Bath game, mainly because, Finn Russell is always worth watching. But, it wasn't his day and Toulon deservedly pulled away to win and banish their blues from last week's visit to Edinburgh.

 

If I Can Make It There - I'll Make It Anywhere

BE IT SPORT or live entertainment, it has been long said, Glasgow audiences respond to quality and greatness. This might take the form of the Glasgow Empire stage manager telling a doubtful Morecambe and Wise: “they like you – they let you live” or the legendary status accorded the fans who packed the old Glasgow Apollo for live rock shows, or even the near-mythical tale of Frank Sinatra, in the dire period between his early bobby-sox swooning days and his later years as Chairman of the Board, absolutely wowing a near-empty Empire.

In the city's sporting arenas – Ferenc Puskas and Alfredo de Stefano transfixed Hampden as Real Madrid rolled over Eintrtacht Frankfort, Diego Maradona served notice on the world of his genius in the same venue, where later Zinedene Zidan confirmed his greatness with a goal of extraordinary class. Indeed, just about the only potential G.O.A.T. To fail to shine in the Dear Green Place was Pelé, and that had more to do with Billy Bremner kicking him for 90 minutes than any failure on his part.

The lasting memory of the 2014 Commonwealth Games in the city was of Usain Bolt's less than two minute cameo, as a dancing entertainer, before a blistering anchor leg in the 4x100 metres relay and another gold medal. So, if you're seen as something special – Glasgow is the place to confirm your greatness.

That then is the challenge facing Antoine Dupont, the man seen, everywhere except perhaps in the Boer heartlands of South Africa as the latest contender for the accolade of being Rugby Union's G.O.A.T., when he arrives in the city for Glasgow Warriors v Stade Toulouse, in the Investec Champions Cup, on Saturday night.

If Dupont, still coming back from serious injury, does perform on Saturday night, we can only hope Scotstoun Stadium is packed to capacity – such a stellar talent deserves a full-house Glasgow audience who will appreciate his talent. It should be quite a game.

THE POTENTIAL FIRE STORM which Rugby Union is facing from the long-term effects of head knocks on former players is well-known. That storm is brewing, but may not hit for a time yet, until the court cases start.

But, I had an interesting conversation over the weekend with a former prop who operated in the upper reaches of the game in the Amateur days. Now in his eighth decade, he is in constant pain with Sciatica and is awaiting an MRI, in the hope of having his problems cleared-up.

He told me the doctors were happy with the condition of his hip joint – a replacement is not on the cards, the problem is a bit lower down, at the very top of his thigh.

Apparently he was comparing notes with another old prop of similar vintage, who said – funnily enough, I've got the same problem. My friend's problem is at the top of his right thigh, the other prop's is at the top of his left. My pal was a loose-head, the other prop a tight-head.

This diagnosis is entirely unscientific and pretty-much guess work, but, their joint conclusion is, their problems might have something to do with the way their locks bound onto them in the scrums – of which there were a lot more in their day than there are today.

Could this be another medical problem set to detonate into the world of Rugby?

I NOTE that FIFA is to introduce drinks breaks mid-way through each half of play, during next year's World Cup in the USA. This is a growing trend in team sports, we have already seen it in Rugby of late, while the mid-innings drinks break has a long history in Cricket.

This suggestion is more-appropriate for the professional game, but, why don't we go the whole hog:

• Instead of 80 minutes total game time – why not move to:

• 60 minutes “ball in play” time

• This would mean official time keepers, but taking that element away from the match referee might help that individual – one less thing to worry about

• We could then split each match into four x 15 minute quarters, allowing for drinks breaks and time for the Coaches to tweak things

 

Two Out Of Two Aint Bad

GIVEN SO-MANY of the selected team were coming off a period of relative inactivity during the Autumn Tests window, I wasn't all that shocked when Glasgow Warriors fell to defeat at Scarlets last week. But, I was a lot more confident about Warriors' chances as I sat down to watch their opening Investec Champions Cup match of the season, at Sale Sharks.

The fact that quite a few of the fiercer Sharks – the likes of George Ford - would miss the game had me quietly confident when the game kicked off. I will admit, when the home team went off like a fireworks display, I was a wee bit concerned, however, the longer the first half lasted, the better Glasgow looked – before they saw the job home in the second.

Warriors' big names all stood up to be counted; their pack never took a backward step and on the back of the platform they provided, kthe Warriors' backs got the job done.

It was a team effort, with the back row in particular impressing. Just about the only time Tom Curry was noticed for Sale was when he had a petulant wee shove at Stafford McDowall, after the Warriors Centurion had scored his side's bonus point-clinching try.

Needless to say, The Italian Gelding and the rest of the English excuse-makers had their mitigation excuses ready long before the end, but, back to back wins against Sale in successive seasons, shows what a good side a fully-loaded Glasgow are.

I ALWAYS reckoned Warriors would win against Sale, I was less-certain about Edinburgh v Toulon, on the basis: you never know which version of Edinburgh will show up, while even the best French sides occasionally under-perform when asked to leave La Belle France.

As it transpired, this was as good a game as we could have wished for this weekend. In awful conditions, the two teams produced a memorable match which ebbed and flowed before Edinburgh triumphed.

After his outstanding international debut last month, Liam McConnell truly came of age here with a Man of the Match display. Mind you, picking him for the honour was a difficult choice, from several 10/10 Edinburgh displays, with Ewan Ashman giving a particularly robust performance.

Edinburgh's pack all stood up to be counted, while James Lang again demonstrated how valuable a player he has become to the capital side, while some of the younger Edinburgh players – Cammy Scott and Harry Paterson, as well as McConnell – shone.

Even Matthew Carley lifted his performance from his usual unacceptable, although, quite how he failed to red card Dave Ribbans for his clear blow to McConnell's face is beyond me. That was a red card every day of the week.

Two wins from two – a great start, the challenge now will be to maintain this standard.

Another cracking European game was the clash in Pretoria in which the defending champions, UBB, beat The Bulls. It really was a tremendous game, with UBB taking the honours with a terrific second half show.

From a Scottish perspective, away from our two sides, Hollie Davidson gave another refereeing masterclass in the Saracens v Clermont Auvergne game, while Finn Russell, while not at his absolute best, produced the usual sprinkling of WTF moments during Bath's excellent win over Munster.

IAIN MILNE has long argued that Rugby Union doesn't have enough “bad players” - although, when he said that, The Bear explained he wasn't meaning guys who were clueless, just ordinary players, the guys who lacked the sort of X-factor he himself demonstrated. He added that all too often, the ordinary guys hung around the clubs, doing the unglamorous but necessary jobs, long after the stars had moved on to other things.

If I ever get around to chronicling the rise of Ayr Rugby Club – from the position when they couldn't even get into the old Unofficial Championship to today's position of primacy in the club game, then I will have to include a chapter in one of the unsung heroes whom they lost last week.

Drew “Shuffler” Craigie, who passed away after a sudden heart attack, wasn't a great player, a combative back rower, mostly in the A1 XV, the then third team, occasionally in the Seconds, then a key figure in the Gay Twos of cherished memory under the captaincy of Des Nouvel.

Back then, Shuffler was one of the club's jokers, a real character who never took life or Rugby seriously, great to have in your side on the park, but, even better company in the bar.

He was one of the original MacEwan's Marauders – the group who decided to support Scotland in Cardiff one year. They looked for a Friday Night/Saturday Morning game in the Welsh capital and ended up facing Llanishen RFC, a team only the Millbrae's two token Welshmen had ever heard of.

It was the start of something great, more than 50 years on, Llanishen and Ayr still lock horns each year in the build-up to the Scotland v Wales Six Nations game. They play for the Les McCall Trophy, named in memory of one of the Originals, a touch as teak lock who collapsed and died while playing for Ayr.

Enduring friendships have been forged over that half century and more, but, none has been as great as that between Shuffler and Llanishen – the Welsh club making him their first and to date only Honorary Life Member. It was an accolade of which Shuffler was rightly proud. This is the Facebook tribute which Llanishen posted:

 

When he stopped playing, Shuffler didn't just retire to the bar. He took-on some of the less-glamourous jobs around Millbrae. He ran the line for the lower XVs, he looked after kit, did his back in the car park on match days. When it came to organising events such as the annual fireworks display, Drew could be relied upon to help. For many years he was a member of the team, first under Tom Inglis, then Hugh Piper, which ensured the annual Sevens Tournament ran like clockwork.

The likes of Billy Mac, Big Jock and Norrie are frequently name-checked when it comes to explaining the rise of Ayr, these guys will tell you, the likes of Shuffler seldom got any credit in his lifetime for his unstinting work for the club. One thing is sure, he will be sorely missed, now he has passed. Rest in Peace old friend.

 

Not Siamese But Celtic Twins

IT'S A PHRASE I recall being oft-used by the great Jim Sillars, when pointing out the failings of the Conservatives, who would promise Scotland one thing, then deliver something totally different> “Well, we ken noo” the bold James would say. On a far-more serious subject than politics – we noo ken Scotland's fate in the 2027 Rugby World Cup, following this morning's draw in Sydney.

Surprise, surprise, for the third straight tournament, we have been paired, Siamese twins-like, with Ireland, while Uruguay and Portugal will complete Pool D.

I am not that bothered about facing the Irish, I firmly believe their squad is further down the far side of the hill than ours and they face a major rebuild between now and the start of the tournament, in October, 2027.

Yes, they have some good youngsters coming through, but, so does Scotland and I see nothing to fear in the Pool. With the new format, fewer pool games, but a new round of 16, we now know too what further progress will demand of us.

Beating Ireland to win the group will hand Scotland what appears likely to be (on paper), an easy last 16 game, against one of the best third-placed finishers, from either pools B, E or F, while finishing second in the group will mean a last 16 meeting with the Pool E winners – on paper again, likely to be France. So, nothing new here, facing Ireland is the big pool game.

Of course, a lot can happen in the 22 months of so between the draw and the kick-off, not least the new format for the Autumn Tests, but, as save frantically for the trip to Australia, we can look forward to a good trip – after all, as they say in another sport: “no Scotland – no party”.

I WAS saddened this morning, when I read on the SRU website of the passing of Kim Elgie, at the grand old age of 92.

Michael Kelsey Elgie was born and raised in Natal, grandson of Scottish emigrants, after school he was a Jockbok long before today's crop. From Michaelhouse School in Durban, he went to St Andrew's University, winning a Blue and representing the North and Midlands. He then went south to train as an optometrist, joining London Scottish and, at Richmond Athletic Ground he won eight caps between 1954 and 1955.

This was towards the end of that dismal run of 17 straight defeats and, when the spell was broken in “Arthur Smith's Match” - the 14-8 win over the Welsh, at Murrayfield in 1955, Elgie contributed a penalty and a conversion to the Scottish total.

He suffered a career-ending injury playing for Scottish at the end of that season, returned to Durban to the family firm and devoted his sporting passion to his other game – cricket. He was a regular in the Natal side and joined the ranks of Scottish sport's dual-internationalists in 1961, when he won three caps for South Africa, as a right-handed bat and slow left-arm bowler.

I wrote a 50th anniversary piece for The Scotsman in 2005, around the defeat of Wales. Kim Elgie was one of the few members of that team still alive and, through a contact at London Scottish – who had actually been paired with him at the Royal & Ancient Golf Club's Autumn Meeting some weeks previously - this return to St Andrew's was a regular pilgrimage for Elgie for many years - I was therefore able to enjoy an enjoyable and illuminating telephone chat with him, at his home in Durban.

The memorable part of the chat was his memories of his debut, against the All Blacks in 1954. He remembered getting off the train at Waverley and joining the team in what was then the North British Hotel. As he remembered it, he had never met many of his new team mates, so, the backs were hastily despatched to Goldenacre for a quick run around, to get used to passing to each other.

Kim Elgie belonged to another time, and he played almost another game. However, as a member of the XV who ended that dismal run of defeats, he is assured of an honoured place in the folk-lore of Scottish Rugby. Thanks to him, I can say, even if it was only via telephone, but, I have met a nice South African.

 

Just When You Thought Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

WHEN DAVID BARNES' yet unborn grandson comes to write the history of Scottish Rugby in the 21^st century, he may well devote an entire chapter to November, 2025, a month which definitely demonstrated, with Scotland, the biggest gunks tend to come when our expectations were greatest.

Prior to kick-off in the Quilter Nations Series we Jocks were in full Charles Dickens mode – we had Great Expectations for the month ahead: we looked forward to finally getting the All Blacks monkey off our backs; they were having a crisis of confidence, and we thought our Lions-heavy squad, with home advantage, could see them off this time.

We had the games against USA and Tonga counted as “gimmees”, while a Murrayfield victory over Argentina would secure for us a top six World Cup seeding and – on paper – an easier ride in the pool in 2027.

Aye Right!! You'd think we might have learned by now; after all, didn't God, after completing his master-work, in which he gave Scotland so-many riches, punish us unfairly by who he gave us as our closest neighbours? One month on, all those hopes and dreams lie shattered.

But, as we reflected on yet another doing from the Men in Black (or in this case black and white) and another Argentinian misadventure which left us crying, we could look forward to our two professional club squads lifting our spirits. After all, they were only playing a couple of Welsh teams and right now, Welsh Rugby is in an even worse state than ours.

Edinburgh's home match with a depleted Ospreys was only a probable win, instead of a definite one – because we are never sure which version of the capital side will turn up on any given night. But, Glasgow's trip to winless, bottom of the table Scarlets, well, that was as big a sure thing as Rangers winning at Berwick Rangers, or Celtic – at home – rolling over Inverness Caledonian Thistle.

Edinburgh did indeed beat Ospreys, but, in the history of ”ugly wins” - this one was in the Davie Dodds class. I have been saying for some time now, don't laugh too-hard at the current travails in the Principality – Wales will bounce back, and Ospreys, and indeed Scarlets, showed on Saturday, they have some bloody-good youngsters coming through.

Edinburgh's cause wasn't helped by yet another blind Irish referee being on-duty, but, somehow, Edinburgh managed to scrape their way to victory. It wasn't a great performance, or game, but, a win is a win is a win.

That, sadly, can not be said for Glasgow. It was almost a reversion to the bad old days of the early Celtic League, when Glasgow sides would regularly endure the long coach trip down the M74, M6, M5, M50, A 449 then M4; at their destination they would endure a bit of a kicking, before a downbeat return trip. We thought those days were past and in the past they would remain: Saturday night was a wee reminder not to get too-cocky.

Glasgow just didn't turn-up. It was a truly bad night at the office. Now, in Franco Smith I still believe and have confidence, but, as I watched the carnage on TV, I just wondered, what his critics might have made of the Coach, had that happened on Toony's watch.

I could offer excuses, possible reasons, but, on sober reflection, I think I will simply put it down to a bad result and trust the additional challenge of Europe brings out the real Glasgow. After all, that result was far from the first case of a Scottish sports team slipping on a banana skin.

I have my own thoughts, but will save these for a later post, which requires greater depth.

FOR ME, the biggest loser on Saturday was clearly Eben Etzebeth. OK, he has this image as an enforcer, the 21^st century version of Bakkies Botha, a previous Springbok enforcer. Now Botha it is generally accepted, broke the Laws with impunity and total disregard – until Saturday, Etzebeth was viewed as having a bit more control – definitely hard, not a man to trifle with, but he stayed within the Laws.

No longer – after that eye gouge, we all know he's nowt but a common thug. I trust World Rugby will throw the book at home; however, that will probably make him even more of a hero to those Bokke fans who tend to wear their IQ on the back of their replica shirts.

HOW DO you stop the Ayr Juggernaut? That has been the big question for the other Coaches in the Arnold Clark Premiership this season. Well, it appears, Heriot's on Saturday came up with the solution – you run out of props early doors, so go to uncontested scrums, thus taking away Ayr's advantage in that department. Interesting!!!

Or, am I being sceptical, intelligent thinking around Goldenace. Discuss!!!

I ENDED my weekend of Rugby-watching with Sunday's “Prem” (why does that ill-conceivedpiece of marketing tat jar so much?) clash between Saracens and Bath. This was a true heavyweight contest, which the TNT Sport team decided to big up as the meeting of the respective tens – Owen Farrell and Finn Russell.

The talking heads say nice things about MacMessi – but, I always feel, they don't really love him – not in the same way they love Farrell; he's a Jock after all, not as stable as a good Saxon such as Farrell.

Any way, Farrell Junr. Had a solid game, he did nothing wrong and produced one trademark dropped goal. But The Gallus One – well, he kicked his goals, varied play brilliantly and produced two passes in particular which opened up Sarries and were definitely in the WTF was that category.

He was in the frame for Man of the Match, but lost out to another Scot – Josh Bayliss, whose performance was on a different level. A pity, however, that Andy Onyeama-Christie didn't make the Saracens squad, their head-to-head would have been good, I am certain.

 

A Thought For Tonight

MY LATE FATHER was immensely proud of the fact, when he finally retired (early) from the National Coal Board, after 48 years service to the coal industry, he had been the last of the pre-nationalisation “coal company” managers from William Baird & Company, later Bairds and Dalmellington, still in harness. {I still have his NCB long service certificate – but it says much about the management abilities of the nationalised industries that it took them four years to get it the 400 yards or so from the area offices to his house, following his retirement.}

He had been appointed Area Traffic Superintendent when the NCB was established in 1948, he, with the aid of a Traffic Foreman, was responsible for making sure their lorries and “pugs” (shunting engines) kept the 40 pits, two workshops, and various offices within the designated area running.

When he retired, 20 years later – by now Area Transport Manager – there were only two pits, one workshop area and one area office still working. His staff, however, had grown to himself, an assistant, a foreman driver, and a clerical assistant.

At nationalisation, the coal industry was the backbone of the local economy: several haulage companies sub-contracted trucks to the NCB, local companies supplied goods and services, but, by the time Dad retired, much of the out-sourcing was done to larger companies, based in Glasgow or even further afield.

I can still recall, as a Primary schoolboy, seeing the local mechanics doing complete overhauls of pugs and lorries, in the two maintenance pits “garage” next to Dad's office. If they needed a special part, there were guys in the workshop who could manufacture it on-site. All that expertise and the we can fix it locally culture vanished as decisions were taken centrally, either in Edinburgh or in London. The costs rose and the coal industry was destroyed.

Dad used to quote the example of the electrical cables which were so essential in powering the equipment underground, running the railways, powering the coal cutters and the conveyers. He would insist, the foreman electrician at each pit could tell, almost to the foot, how much cabling he would need each year and order accordingly.

However, there was a better than even chance, the guy processing the orders in the area office would err on the side of caution and perhaps add five or ten per cent, before passing the order up the line to Edinburgh, where the procurement manager would add his five or ten per cent; the result, an awful lot of unused cabling cluttering up central stores and excess costs, which helped fuel the coal industry's losses.

As a side bar to these losses, I can remember working on a local Opencast Coal Mine and from our site, we could see the head gear of the two still-working local collieries. The 150 of us on the Opencast were producing more coal than the 1500 miners down the two pits – that, as much, if not more than as political decisions made in London, did for deep mining in Scotland.

OK, I hear you say – what's this got to do with Scottish Rugby? Well, I'll tell you. It could be argued that the coal companies such as Bairds made money until the lack of investment caused by World War II, plus the election of a Labour Party which, unlike today's lot, genuinely believed in Socialism, forced them into nationalisation.

Dad was a true “Baird's Man” - that company ran a tight ship, Dad reckoned every man toiling at the coal face was carrying five guys (and women) on the surface on his back, metaphorically speaking. By the time he retired, 20 years of nationalisation had in his words meant: “every miner was now carrying a minimum of ten people on his back.”

Well, I reckon you can now take that story of things going wrong with nationalisation and use it to explain the pickle the SRU has got itself into. Back in the amateur era, enthusiasts from James Aikman-Smith to Bill Hogg ran the SRU efficiently and well with the minimum of staff and the absolute minimum of fuss.

Today, we have a bloated army of apparatchiks strutting around Scottish Gas Murrayfield in SRU uniforms, doing what seems to be the norm in nationalised industries and national institutions – keeping their noses in the feeding trough and under-delivering.

OK, there are legends from the amateur days of committee-men, Special Representatives and the like, who did rather well out of the SRU. There is the tale of the former internationalist who described himself as “a dairy farmer” - because he was milking the SRU for all he could get. But, these guys had in most cases bled for the cause and got to high office via deeds on the field.

There are people with seeming sinecures inside the Murrayfield Junta today who have quite literally risen without trace. If you've seen that currently popular social media meme, which describes Donald Trump as a “fence post turtle” - “You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function and you just wonder what kind of dumb-thinking individuals put him up there to begin with.” I could name one or two Murrayfield insiders who meet all these criteria.

Back in the 1970s, the Scottish National Team had an “Advisor to the Captain” and a physiotherapist, for international preparation; today we have:

• Head Coach – Gregor Townsend

• Assistant Coach (Backs) – Pete Horne

• Assistant Coach (Forwards) – John Dalziel

• Assistant Coach (Defence) – Lee Radford

• Assistant Coach (Scrums) – Pieter de Villiers

• A Team Manager

• Physiotherapists (plural)

• Video analysts

• Strength and Conditioning Coaches

• A Media Manager

• A Kit Manager

This enlarged staff includes some excellent operators, but, are they all necessary? If Lee Radford, for instance, can fit his Scotland commitments around the day job with Northampton Saints, couldn't some of the Edinburgh or Glasgow support staff be seconded to Scotland for the international breaks – probably saving the SRU some money?

Similarly, if Tolwnsend has time on his hands to “consult” or whatever he is doing with Red Bull, well, clearly being Scotland Head Coach is not as full-time as we have been led to believe it is; and if we apparently don't need a full time Honcho, the question has to be – do we need so-many minions?

I have long said, since the game went open, we have seen the rise of the “empire builders” inside the Murrayfield bubble – people with big titles and small abilities, who need to have a staff around them to bolster their ego and supposedly assist them to do their job even semi-adequately.

For instance, while I am an admirer of both gentlemen, do we really need Al Kellock AND Kenny Murray overseeing our Player Pathway, with the usual legion of assistant coaches looking after the age group teams?

I honestly reckon the SRU could be run as well as it presently is, probably even better to be honest, if we had fewer Chiefs and more-comitted Indians wandering around Murrayfield.

Perhaps some club representative would like to make that point at tonight's AGM.

Matt Williams' Stupidity Finally Explained

I SEE MATT “The Stupidest Man in Rugby” Williams has been pontificating again. Following the Springboks' demolition of the Irish scrum in Dublin at the weekend, the greatest thinker since Homer Simpson has decided – the scrum needs to be “depowered”. Significantly, in researching this piece, I was unable to discover what position Williams played during his playing career, indeed, one database I checked out said simply: “he was never a rugby player”.

OK, that explains a lot, and he was never much of a coach either. You take the scrum out of the game and you don't have much of a game left. The scrum is one of the key components of Rugby Union. It doesn't need to be de-powered, what it does require, however, is, as a minimum, to be refereed properly. In addition, I would take the penalty out of the scrum, other than for serious foul play – that would greatly help the game.

As we journalists are becoming fed-up explaining: the scrum is in there to re-start the game after a break-down in play in which no penalty has been incured. The basic notion is, if you have a scrum, you effectively take the 16 forwards out of the game and create space for the 14 backs to do their thing.

The scrum is simply that, a means of restarting play, not a means of generating penalties. So, if World Rugby was to suddenly find a collective brain and do two things, a lot of the problems around the scrum would be solved. These two things are:

1. Go back to insisting the ball is put down the centre of the tunnel, and bring back hooking – the days of scrum halves feeding almost into the second row have to stop.

2. Again, apart from instances of serious foul play, do away with scrum penalties, make scrum offences punishable by a free kick; thus, the non-offending side could either kick to touch, where they would lose possession, or take a tap free kick, where they would then need to manufacture a line break.

Dominant scrummaging would still be rewarded, by the return of the strike against the head, while a lot of the nonsense of the “dark arts” being invoked to help an inferior scrum, would be done away with.

There is another innovation I would bring in for elite-level Rugby, where most of the ugly scrums take place, that is:

• Set the “Spider Cams” which can be seen at all the big games, directly above the two hookers' heads at each scrum – then the TMO could see when or if the props were pushing straight and advise the referee accordingly.

There is no need to de-power the scrum, simply tweak the Laws of the
Game and give clearer instructions to referees.

SPEAKING OF referees, I did love the two comments which I saw on Facebook, regarding Hollie Davidson's performance in Cardiff on Saturday. In the first former Welsh cap Mark Ring thought Hollie had had a poor game and was out of her depth. His criticism was immediately answered by commentator Myles Harrison, who felt Hollie had had an excellent performance. In this case, I'm with Myles – while Mark Ring was clearly speaing through his.

I also loved Nigel Owens' response to all the Bokke fans, who were howling for yellow cards for the Irish front row after the South Africans' scrum domination produced a Penalty Try. As Nigel pointed out, a yellow card could only be flashed after a Penalty Try, if the individual offender can be identified – such as the player who pulls down an advancing maul. In this case, since the entire Irish pack had been schooled, no yellow could be flashed.

Still on referees, I noticed some comments in the BTL section of The Offside Line regarding the absence of neutral touch judges for the big Under-18 Schools Cup semi-final between Merchiston Castle School and George Watson's College.

The thing is, neutral officials have to receive at least expenses and you cannot surely expect those poor under-funded and under-appreciated Public Schools to pay some pleb to come along and run up and down a touchline. Aye Right!!!

It reminds me of the black sheep of our school team – the one who finished playing and became a referee. I remember him telling me how poorly paid the Rugby referees were in comparison with their Footballing cousins. Even at grass-roots level, the fitba guys are much-better paid than our officials.

Perhaps the SRU and the other Unions should be addressing this problem as a matter of urgency, since there is clearly a shortage of officials in our game.

THE Tom Curry “tackle” on Juan Cruaz Mallia and its aftermath has sent Anglo-Argentinian relations to their lowest point since yon cross “played” Diego Maradona's hand and flew past Peter Shilton back in 1986.

Now, my view was, Curry's challenge was fractionally late and if anything merited no more than a penalty to the visitors, since the alleged confrontation with Felipe Contepomi happened in the tunnel and out of range of the match-day TV cameras, I cannot comment on it.

World Rugby has apparently asked for CCTV footage of the events in the tunnel, should these prove inconclusive or difficult to access – then, being Scottish, I have to say, Curry is guilty as alleged.

What I will say about Curry and some other English players – Earl, Pollock, occasionally Itoje, they do like to whoop and holler and celebrate even the award of a penalty – maybe time some referee had the cojones to reverse a decision against them: for behaviour against the spirit of the game.