These Girls Are Good

SCOTLAND V FIJI yesterday afternoon was wonderful entertainment, two sides prepared to run everything. I thought we deserved our win, and for me the highlight was that terrific, try-saving tackle on a flying Fijian who can only be described as: “a big wummin” was the best I've seen since the late Broon Fae Troon somehow got across to cut down David Duckham, back in 1971.

Some of the Fijianna ran like Nakarawa's or Bill Mata's long-lost twin sisters, while they all had that natural ability to off-load. Scotland produced some wonderful stuff in defence, while lighting the afterburners when necessary in attack.

Canada will be a step up, but, we are into the last eight and can approach the world's number two side knowing we are not going there to make up the numbers.

The timing was tight, but, the Scotland Women's game ended just in time for the scheduled 4.45pm kick-off of the Heriot's v Ayr game in the Arnold Clark Premiership.

Fortunately, however, Ayr had some travel problems, which forced the kick-off back half an hour. After Wigtownshire's problems last week, I have to ask, is there some mechanical pandemic afflicting the coaches in the South West of Scotland.

Any way, to the game, well refereed by Jason Hill, up until the point his assistant, Rob McDowell, forgot his place and yellow-carded him, and a comfortable win for the visitors. Gruntz Anderson is, as we all know, Rugby Union's version of Jim McLean, seldom, if ever, satisfied with a big win, but, even he must have been impressed by some of the Ayr defending, in the rare moments when the Nails managed to hold on to the ball past two or three phases.

The game was a classic case of the forwards winning the match, with the backs coming up with some excellent tries, not to mention some very-good cameos off the bench, but, I feel Mr Anderson will be looking to find a consistent place kicker.

After two weeks of the Premiership, Ayr and Watsonians, who saw off injury-hit Selkirk, are the only sides to post back-to-back bonus point wins. Currie lie third after edgining-out Glasgow Hawks, with GHA continuing their excellent return to the top flight by beating Melrose.

In the big Borders Derby at Poynder Park, Kelso saw off Hawick. So, two games in and Heriot's are pointless and holding up the other nine teams, to quote a well-known Welshman: “Oh Dear! How sad, never mind”.

HOT METAL was a now largely-forgotten 1980s TV situation comedy, which poked fun at the rise of the “red top tabloids” such as The Sun and Daily Mirror, and their owners, Rupert Murdoch and Robert Maxwell. We hacks of the time loved it, because we knew some of the real stories which were being parodied.

If they were to re-run it today, on Gold or UK TV, there is a chance some of today's journalists might think it a documentary, that's how far standards in our craft have fallen. Nobody's perfect, humans all make mistakes, but, the person who hasn't fucked-up at some time has had a really-boring life. I have dropped some clangers, but, at least I regretted the mistakes – it seems when I see some of the stuff that gets through today – regret is not a recognised feeling in the mainstream, or even social media.

This morning, browsing Facebook – aye, Ah ken, serves me right for wasting my time – I chanced upon a piece which informed me, Scotland has been drawn in the same pool as South Africa in the 2027 Rugby World Cup. Just two things wrong with this story:

1. The draw does not take place until early October

2. Therefore, the story is pure fictional pish

If you're going to run a site, purporting to be about Rugby Union, then maybe you should try to dig-up true, genuine, newsworthy stories, printing pish is the sign of a total wanker. No wonder we journalists get a bad rap these days and our craft is disparaged.

 

The Grass Roots Extend Far And Wide

THOSE OF US who had regular exposure to the joys of facing Wigtownshire know a trip to Stranraer has always been character-building.

You have to endure the road trip down the A77; that bloody road is Wigtownshire's best defender: then the 'Shire forwards would do their damnedest to tear your head off over 80 minutes, before wiping-out the survivors with their wonderful hospitality in the bar – then you had to get back up that bloody road.

We never, however, think on what it must be like to play for 'Shire. Well, tae oor tale. The club kicked-off their camaign in the Arnold Clark West Regional Division Two on Saturday with a wee trip to Fort William, a mere five hour coach journey, which produced a welcome 19-17 win over Lochaber.

Highland Hospitality decreed that they should not depart until 12.30 am, by which time to paraphrase Burns: “Kings may be blessed, but 'Shire were glorious.” Somewhere around Glencoe – Rannoch Moor, their coach gave up the ghost and they had to await rescue, eventually arriving back in Strtanraer as dawn broke, at the end of a near 24-hour trip.

Then, the boys had to disperse to the outlying villages, several surely straight into the morning milking or general farm work. It's character-building on the margins of the game. I shudder to think of how one of the notoriously loathe to travel “Ferry Road Fusiliers” would cope if moved to Dumfries and Galloway.

A wee query from one of the 'Shire elder statesmen, however: “How come Lochaber Men are in the West Regional Leagues, while Lochaber Women are in the Caledonia-North Regional Leagues”? Strange is the thinking in EH12.

HAUD OAN A MEENIT! Ca' canny! Steady the Buffs! Well, somebody has to say it, are we not in danger of getting a wee bit carried away by that terrific win by our Women, over Wales, in the opening game of the Women's World Cup?

It's a Scottish thing; no nation has greater triumphs, or suffers bigger disasters than us – old Rudyard Kipling was clearly not English, no way can we Scots look at his “twin imposters – triumph and disaster and treat them both the same”.

Yes, the girls played bloody well; certainly they produced some brilliant Rugby, but, let's keep the heid. Next up will be Fiji, who opened their campaign on the wrong end of a thumping from second favourites Canada. However, we must be on our guard, they have some big, athletic girls who play the free-running, off-loading, traditional Fijian style of Rugby.

This match will not be easy, but, I don't have to remind Bryan Easson and the girls, they have set their standard in beating Wales and have to maintain it, or, better still, find an extra gear. Mind you, this is Scotland, in a tournament – you worry and wait for the self-inflicted blow. Let's just hope the girls can avoid the normal.

WE ARE CURRENTLY in what I call “1940 mode” - the phoney war phase of the season when no a lot is happening out in the open. I did see an interesting wee snippet on Monday, however. Apparently, Steve Diamond's jaiket is on a shoogly peg at Newcastle Red Bulls. No suggestion as yet that this undoubted dinosaur of the game was on the way out soon, but a definite suggestion that his contract would not be renewed at the end of the 2025-26 season.

Front runner to take the reins at Kingston Park is apparently, oor ain Gregor Townsend. Boy, that suggestion will surely get them talking across the club bars of this fair land. The “Toony Must Go” team must be wetting themselves at the thought of their dream coming true. But, perhaps we should be careful of what we wish for.

What about the plan to kick Toony upstairs, as our permanent Director of Rugby, once the currently in-situ “Consultant” in that role has actually found his way to EH12, really looked at where we are and given his opinions? And, should Toony be enticed south, who picks up the soiled, if not poisoned chalice at Murrayfield?

Favourite is, of course, Franco Smith, but, might he still yearn for daily contact with players on the coaching paddock and feel he hasn't yet gone as far as he might with Glasgow Warriors?

In Scottish Rugby political circles at present, they are tinkering around the edges of the Club Rugby Board; once they get that bun fight in a fankle, next up might be the power and influence of Scottish Rugby Limited. But, never mind, if Toony is the man Red Bull want to give their new side wings, the deck chair shuffle will go on for a month or nine yet.

 

My Saturday Summary

A REGULAR contributor to these pages, a man whose promotion of the Scottish Women's side has continued, even though his daughter is no longer in the squad, has taken me to task for my somewhat downplayed review of Saturday's Women's World Cup win over Wales.

Having lived through the heartache of Argentina '78, which came at a time when I was with the Scottish Missionary Service in the Sudentenland, I will never again get carried away with our chances going into a pan-continental or World tournament; that, any way, is my excuse for not bigging-up the girls beforehand.

Any way, it was a terrific performance, from everyone in blue, punctuated by a terrific hat-trick from Francesca McGhie (Caught below by Craig Watson as she scores her first try). I had to laugh at The Offside Line's Eve McTiernan, explaining that, the sole reason for her not awarding McGhie a 10/10 in her player ratings, was Honcho David Barnes' “daft” (her words) insistence that no player ever produces the perfect performance.

 

The reality is, Barney is reserving the 10/10 for Finn Russell, when he finally orchestrates our first win over the All Blacks. As for Ms McGhie, if the SRU had a half-decent player pathway in place, she might be being introduced, at some point to one of our male back three players as part of a longer term breeding programme!!!!!

However, the win over Wales was far from a one-woman show, with particular kudos to the pack, who tamed the expected power game of the ladies in red to produce the platform for the back division pyrotechnics.

With a red-headed, Scottish-born wife, four Scottish-born daughters – two with their mother's red hair and a Scottish-born grand-daughter, I have the greatest respect for Scottish womanhood (and the scars to show for it); if the SRU ever gets their act together properly around the women's game – there are no boundaries to what we might achieve. After all, the female of the species is deadlier than the male – more-so if that female is Scottish.

Saturday was a good start, now, let's build on it against Canada, Fiji and beyond.

THE ARNOLD CLARK PREMIERSHIP is back, with Ayr immediately back to the head of the table, after a comfortable home win over Glasgow Hawks.

The likes of Auld Auchlin, Billy McHarg and the other “Silverbacks” around Millbrae don't do sweetness and light after victories, as a rule. I am told, when he was elevated to the role of Director of Rugby, Pat McArthur was taken into the wee room upstairs at Millbrae to have his joy receptors removed – he will not get carried away with such a good opening. Neither will Head Coach Grant Anderson. “Gruntz” didn't need his joy receptors removed, he's from Greenock and therefore never had any. He thought the win was a wee bit “clunky”, so the bad news for the chasing pack is – he's looking for better as they grow into the season.

I can visualise “Gruntz” doing a Jim McLean and withholding the squad's entertainment bonus in disgust.

Ayr's next stop is Goldenacre, to face a Heriot's team who opened their campaign by losing to Melrose at The Greenyards. Methinks Saturday's televised match on BBC ALBA will be essential viewing, with Ayr out to stay top of the log and Heriot's needing to bounce back to winning ways.

Currie made a very-good start to their campaign by thrashing Selkirk at Malleny Park, to go second in the table. But, perhaps the best result on opening day was down at Mansfield Park, where GHA produced a storming second half to overcome the young Hawick side. There is a long history of Glasgow clubs making tear-stained retreats from the Borders after being given a real kicking by their hosts, I bet it was a happy coach which wound its way homeward on Saturday night, such wins down there are rare indeed.

Meanwhile, with a trip to Poynder Park coming up on Saturday, the Hawick youngters will, this week, get a crash course in what is expected of you when you pull on that green jersey.

Finally, Watsonians will be happy to have seen off the tough challenge of Kelso in their opening game, at Myreside. A good start, one they will be keen to build-on.

THE THING I am taking from Saturday's television viewing of the two Rugby Championship games is – the results emphasised the value of consistent place kickers at the top level.

Had the sides swapped place kickers, the results would have been reversed, however, in truth, that is a very-simplistic analysis.

The South Africans were already in front when I switched over, after watching the Scotland Women's game and while Australia came back strongly, the Saffas had clearly tidied-up their game after losing in the first meeting of the sides.

Still, had they nailed their kicks, the Wallabies would have won and, on form over the first two games, that long-awaited Bledisloe Cup win might not be too far away.

The All Blacks were quite frankly “honking” in losing to a fireed-up Los Pumas. The home side wanted it more, and it showed. But, really, the handling of the New Zealand backs was nowhere near All Blacks' standard, I have never seen a side in black make so-many unforced errors.

With back-to-back games against the Bokke coming-up, the ABs now have a two week window to find themselves, or all hell will break loose down there.

 

Can Nobody Save Us From The English Broadcasting Corporation?

THE BIG Rugby Union news this weekend is the start of the Women's World Cup. So, of course, the BBC, as host broadcaster will be all over it – with particular emphasis on boosting 'The Red Roses' England Women, who will be elevated to “Lionesses level” by their paid cheer-leaders.

They kicked-off their campaign last night with a big win over the USA; so expect the hysteria to be cranked-up as the tournament unfolds. The ubiquitous Mrs Logan will be the face of the tournament, with every weel-kent female sports broadcasting face: with the possible exception of Clare Balding, Hazel Irvine, Jill Douglas and Lee Mackenzie involved (I wonder what tells against the last three brilliant ladies?). Jill and Lee, in particular, have the Rugby knowledge to do a better job than some who are involved, such as the awful Ugo Monye and the even-worse Claire Thomas. At least, the tournament gives us the chance to enjoy the wit and erudition of the great Brian Moore.

I am not expecting much from Scotland's Women. Hopefully they will at the very least justify our World Ranking of Eight, but, given how bumpy their route to the tournament has been, I feel, simply being there is as much as we can expect from an SRU team. It took us years to get even half-way up to speed in the Men's game, once Rugby Union went “Open” - and we are still are fairly average, I think it will take the Women years yet to become truly competitive, and I don't have much faith in Murrayfield putting in-place a half-decent template for running the Women's game any time soon.

But, of course – good luck to Rachel Malcolm and her Lassies.

BACK HOME, the big news is the start of the Men's League season. There isn't a stand-out fixture in the Arnold Clark Premiership, but, nevertheless, some interesting match-ups.

For me, the most-interesting meeting will be the Myreside clash of Watsonians and Kelso. The home side has been busy recruiting both on and off the field and will be making a real go at dethroning Champions Ayr, while Kelso, after the late revival which preserved their Premiership status last term, are keen to climb higher in the rankings.

Newly-promoted GHA were done no favours by the SRU fixtures computer, sending them to Hawick first time out. If for nothing other than that old triums: “A strong Scottish Rugby needs a strong Hawick”, we have to hope the Teries, after last season's family fueding are back as a unified force. If they are, and the several new boys they will be fielding have bought into the Hawick ethos, the visitors could be in for a tough afternoon.

Going by last season's final placings, the two strongest sides facing each other on opening day are fourth-placed Currie Chieftains and fifth-placed Selkirk, who clash at Malleny Park. Currie appear to have recruited well and will be hoping for a better start to this season than they had 12 months ago.

Melrose kick-off against perennial runners-up Heriot's at The Greenyards, in what could be a tight game. The Nails have bade farewell to some weel-kent names on and off the park during the close season, so definitely have ground to make up.

The final game is at Millbrae, where Champions Ayr entertain Glasgow Hawks. Hawks now have former Heriot's Honcho Phil Smith as Director of Rugby. If there is one thing the bold Phil likes doing, it's beating Ayr, particularly at Millbrae; so the Champions know they are in for a tough opening day examination.

GAME OF THE DAY in National One looks like being the Bridgehaugh clash of Stirling County and Boroughmuir. These clubs are, of course, the two Super Rugby franchises who are not in the top flight – and that hurts like hell for both sides, who will be going flat-out for that single promotion slot. County have invested heavily in the hope of winning their league, so a winning start is required – but, don't expect the visitors to make it easy for them.

Elsewhere in this division: Edinburgh Academicals host Gala, Gordonians have Glasgow Academicals as visitors, Jed-forest entertain relegated Marr while the third relegated side, Musselburgh entertain Biggar.

Subject as I am to continued house arrest here in the sleepy hollers of God's County, I will be relying on the excellent service provided, under difficult conditions, by Rugby Radio and of course, The Offside Line, to keep me abreast of affairs. Stuart Cameron and his team keep getting fresh obstacles placed in their path but they continue to show Murrayfield what can be done if you believe in the product you are pushing and put everything into that push. Unsung heroes to a man and woman they are.

FURTHER DOWN the food chain, a match I am looking forward to will be the Bellsland clash of Kilmarnock and Ardrossan Academicals. The home team, who now have Gordy Reid as Director of Rugby and a solid spine of players with higher league experience at Marr and Ayr, are determined to keep building on last season's Regional League triumph, but, Ayrshire Derbies are never gimmees, so this one will be hard.

Every season, I hope against hope, this will be the year Cumnock starts to climb up through the leagues, and, every year they let me down. But, with new coach Bruce Ruthven this season bringing a touch of professionalism, and having had Mark Bennett sprinkling stardust in pre-season training, who knows, this might be the year. Hope springs eternal here in Orange County.

A Pissed-Off Man Looks At The thistle

I HAVE BEEN saying for years – the entire governance edifice of the Scottish Rugby Union is not fit for purpose in the 21^st century – the whole building needs pulled down and rebuilt.

The feeling seems to be growing within the game, as evidence David Barnes' excellent piece in The Offside Line this week, detailing that the SCOG – the Standing Council on Governance – is calling for reform. This is welcome, but, I fear, the SCOG proposals do not go far enough and vested interests, such as the members of the Club Rugby Board, of which reform is being proposed by the SCOG, will defend their place in the feeding trough with the sort of “great vengeance and serious anger” that made Samuel L Jackson a movie ikon.

If Murrayfield is indeed serious about reform, they might start by levelling-up the constituencies of the various players on the board. The National League representatives each look after the interests of ten clubs, but the Regional League reps have different numbers each – also, still no rep for National League Four.

I have no problem with proposals to devolve power more to the Regions, except, as we have seen with Holyrood, not for the first or only time, old Tam Dalyell o' The Binns was spot-on when he told Westminister: “power devolved is power retained”. Somebody will still have to have the final say inside HQ and a return to more Regional power could well see a return to power brokers such as John Bannerman or Iain MacGregor.

The SCOG is also suggesting cutting the number of members of the Club Rugby Board from the current 14 to 9 – another case of “fewer but stronger”. Good luck with getting that passed.

My old mate Bill Lothian doesn't comment much on Rugby matters these days, but, not that long ago, in a BTL comment on The Offside Line, he did make a blatant statement of the obvious, when he said, it wasn't the National Governing Body's job to run the game's leagues.

OK, thanks to the pull of The Bigot Brothers in Glasgow, The Twin Imposters (Edinburgh and Dundee braches), The Sheep Botherers in Aberdeen and the various other Diddy Teams around Scotland, a self-governing Scottish Rugby Union League will never rule the sporting realm, but, it might be better than being an after-thought behind the international sides and the two pro teams in our wee world.

The Scottish League – now the SPFL – The Scottish Professional Football League has managed to run our game well for most of it's 135 years. OK, the Big Two have too-much power and there are too-many so-called “professional” teams and divisions – but, that ought to be a warning to the top clubs sides in Scotland, should they ever find the cojones to run their own leagues relatively free from the interference of Murrayfield.

I can see the Scottish Rugby Union being better run if they acknowledged there are four separate strands to the game:

1. The international and representative game

2. The professional game (full and part-time) feeding players up to field 1

3. The grass-roots club game, for the average player

4. The Youth Development part of the game

Let whichever body replaces/succeeds the Club Rugby Board concentrate on strand three above' hive-off youth development and bring my two-division National League under the umbrella of Scottish Rugby Limited, as part of the professional arm of the game. Also, consider forming a Scottish Rugby Congress, akin to the Scottish Football one, meeting quarterly and involving all strands of the game; then, we might get somewhere.

And, while we are at it, if Wales is going to drop two of their Regional Teams, I reckon the SRU ought to pick-up one.

VIPOND IS NOT that common a name, indeed, up until this week I thought Dougie the Drummer was Hereditary Chief, if not the last immortal of the Clan. I could just see him emoting: “My name is Dougie Vipond of the Clan Vipond, born in nineteen-canteen in Inchinnan, on the banks of the River Clyde.” But, to quote the Roman Legionairre, crawling wounded back to the Fort after his Legion was ambushed north of Hadrian's Wall by a taunting Pict: “Fuckus! Laqueus est, duo sunt”.

TOL, “The voice of Scottish Rugby” has had a makeover and among the new adverts on this most-excellent organ of the game, is one for a company Vipond & Co. In my innocence I thought it had something to do with Dougie, and I expected, given the company's field of endeavour we would have assurances of Dignity in their dealings with clients and a definite effort to drum-up new business should you hire this team of real gone kids.

I was apparently wrong, still, what's in a name. I do like the new look by the way.

Also, for the benefit of those unfortunates who didn't enjoy a classical education at Ayrshire's finest Academy for the sons and daughters of gentle folk, that wee bit of Latin means: “Fuck! It's a trap, there's two of them”.

 

An Old Fossil Has Another Rant

HALF A CENTURY ago, when I was starting out in this daft game of journalism, I had to cover the local council – Cumnock and Doon Valley District Council.

There were around a dozen Councillors – every one a Labour Party representative. You would think that meant unanimity – you'd be wrong, very wrong; one lady was chucked out of the party on a regular basis, another two Councillors, one said to be: “on the left of Chairman Mao” the other: “somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun” seemed to take opposing views as a matter of course. The debates around the big table in the Council Chamber could be brutal, but, in the end, the members reached agreement.

I remember one Convener – they had done away with the ancient and honoured title of Provost – telling me, after I had admitted I refused to believe they always spoke from a common position: “Naw, we dinnae agree maist o' the time, but we're no as daft as air oor differences when you journalists are aboot – but, ye'll never get intae cover the Labour Group meetings”.

That was when the real in-fighting was done, away from the public gaze. But, it worked and, helped by having some terrific paid officials, the District Council worked well with public disagreements kept to a minimum.

Of course, it helped that we representatives of The Fourth Estate were on-hand to keep the Councillors' minds on their job. Nowadays, Cumnock & Doon Valley is part of the larger East Ayrshire Council; the Council meetings are held in Kilmarnock and elected Councillors get upwards of £25,000 per year, far more than the guys I was reporting-on got. We have more Councillors, a lot more paid officials, but, I would suggest, far less talent (both elected, paid ond on the press bench) and far worse local governance than back then.

We used to cover the various Council Committees, plus the monthly meeting of the full Council, we got advance notice of the agendas, copies of the minutes and, while it happened occasionally – the matter under discussion had to be really important before we were chucked out of any meeting because the item being discussed was just too-important to be discussed in front of the press.

I don't know when last I read an in-person report on a District Council meeting; it just doesn't appear to happen these days. I know the remaining local papers all have “Local Democracy Reporters” - who as far as I can see are there to copy and paste press releases from the various District Council's media teams to give them the best-possible publicity. They are not journalists in the old meaning of the word, merely paid spin doctors – that's the thinking behind holding oujr elected leaders to account.

There is a similar situation in the less-important world of sports reporting. In Scotland in 2025. “Sport” means Football, in fact, in the last vestages of print journalism, it means coverage of two Glasgow football teams – because those still printed “National Newspapers” are all managed and run from London, and, from 400 miles away, within the M25 Bubble the decision-makers have only ever heard of two Scottish sports teams.

Given how uninterested the mainstream media is in our sport, you might think the Scottish Rugby Union and certainly the bigger clubs would have taken steps to fill the void – sadly, they haven't. Indeed, I could name one or two clubs, who actually have media/social media officers, whose efforts to sell their club is frankly embarrassing.

By a lang Scots mile, the top vehicle for selling Rugby Union in Scotland today is David Barnes' excellent The Offside Line. Big Barney and his team cover the game from the grass-roots to the Lions, and they do it well. A word too to the industrious Gary Heatly, who digs up some terrific stories from aw the airts and spreads them across various platforms.

I had to laugh this week at something I saw on Facebook – a puff piece for Scottish Rugby News, the Herald Group's effort to fill the gap caused by that once-great Rugby paper no longer even having a staff writer covering the game. The puff piece was quite frankly Trumpian in it's warped view of things – yes, they cover all aspects of Scottish Rugby, inasmuch as to them, all that matters is Scotland, Edinburgh and Glasgow.

The new club season kicks off on Saturday, but, you would hardly know it. I have every confidence in TOL giving it the big sell, elsewhere, even within the club rooms of some competing clubs, I don't recognise the same impetus. We have to get better at selling Rugby Union, while we still have a game to sell.

OK – I ACCEPT, going over Carter Bar in the middle of winter might not be everybody's idea of a pleasant Friday evening drive, but, I would suggest, the investment in what is now Newcastle Red Bulls could have a significant impact on Rugby Union in the Borders.

For sure, the age-old local rivalries will continue, bragging rights around positions in the Arnold Clark Premiership will still matter, but, given it takes just as long to get to The Hive as it does to get to Kingston Park from some of our hottest hot beds of the game, if the Bulls can get away from the foot of what is now, ridiculously – The Prem – then the A68 might get a tad busier on Bulls' home match days. It could get really busy if Peebles-born All Black Finlay Christie does make the rumoured move from New Zealand to Newcastle; he has the sort of charisma to pull-in additional punters.

Of course, the problem may well be, the continued presence of Steve Diamond as Director of Rugby. Having had to deal directly with him on a handful of occasions, I am not a fan and don't rate him. Red Bull's corporate management likes winners and I don't see Diamond as that.

With the new investment, they are bringing in new players, but, as yet nobody who comes across as a genuine star – even Christie, whose recruitment remains merely a rumour and class act though he is, has never been seen as THE MAN to fill that crucial number nine black shirt. Oscar for Supporting Actor rather Actor in a Principal Role I feel.

Still, it will be interesting to see how events unfurl on Tyneside this season.

 

We Live In Interesting Rugby Times

WE ARE AT THE mid-point in a World Cup cycle; the point at which subtle changes begin to show in the global game's power balance. And, at the week-end, we perhaps began to see the end of the dominance of South Africa and their power game – as Australia produced a stunning second-half come-back, to end their long period of suffering on the high veldt.

I don't think anyone outside the Australian dressing room saw that second half turn-around coming, but, the way the Australians began to dominate the breakdown and run the ball at the Springboks at every opportunity perhaps demonstrated how the game may evolve over the next couple of years and beyond.

It is an old rugby truism: “forwards win games – backs decide by how much” and it may well be that new, younger and hungrier forwards are emerging to have an ever-growing effect on games. In their recent games, against the Lions and now in Johanesburg, the younger Aussie forwards have shown, they are going to be a force going forward. Also, the Wallabies still have the backs who will prosper on the back of the ball their pack provides for them.

The All Blacks too are feeding in some new younger forwards, to augment the existing talent of the likes of Codie Taylor, Scott Barrett and Ardi Savea. OK, their win over Los Pumas in Cordoba may have been described as: “clunky” but that was more a case of strangely inept handling from the back division than anything being seriously amiss up front.

Had the ABs handled with their normal precision, I am sure they would have won even-more comprehensively than they managed. I mean, six tries, none to Will Jordan, how often does that happen?

Just about every international these days seems to see another member ushered into the exclusive Caps Centurions Club. Now, I was brought up in the Amateur years, when international teams were choc-a-bloc with Oxbridge students, back then, unless you had private means, or a sympathetic employer, or both, by the age of 25, you had to ease back on Rugby Union commitments in order to earn a living.

 

 

There were fewer international too in those days; so, for instance, Hughie McLeod's then record 40 Scotland caps appeared to represent a huge commitment to the game. Today, there are players who are predominantly bench-warmers, who can boast of more caps than the great Hawick prop.

Also, several of today's Centurions are now clearly, if not already on the downward slope of career trajectory, at least, on the summit but gazing down the far side. How many, I wonder, will look ahead, to the new World Rugby cross-hempishpere competition, to the demands that will be made of them between now and 2027 and begin to formulate an exit strategy – after all, we are often told, the hardest thing about a stellar sporting career is correctly timing its ending – very few ever get the chance to go out at the top and at a moment of their own choosing.

I wonder, for instance, how many of the 2025 Lions, now resting their aching limbs on some beach, are pondering if this might be a good time to – if not quit entirely – cut back on their commitment to their sport: perhaps by retiring from the international game to concentrate on playing for their club. Maybe now is the time to cash-in, by seeking a big-money move to one of the big French clubs.

This decision could depend on several factors:

• How close am I to 100 caps – do I need that landmark?

• Is there a younger, hungrier player putting pressure on me?

• Have I heard enough of the same-old, same-old from my coach?

• Would that last big pay day set me up for life after Rugby?

• Am I still enjoying playing?

• Can I be bothered learning French, or Japanese?

Whatever, it would not be a surprise to see one or two calling time between now and the Autumn Tests.

 

Bring Back Tramlines - Rucking Hell

TRAMLINES – they used to be a rite of passage for a Rugby Union forward; the best set I ever saw were sported by former Ayr number eight Jim Montgomery, after an Ayrshire/Renfrewshire v Glasgow game, in which the bold Jim had been brave/foolish enough to go down on the ball in front of Glasgow's three Lions; Ian McLauchlan, Sandy Carmichael and Gordon Brown, each of whom proceeded to leave a separate tramline along Jim's back.

I can hear all you young Gen Zs and Millennials asking: “What the fuck are tramlines, and why is this old git going on about them?” The explanation: Tramlines were the marks left by a player's boots after he ran over you, should you have been foolish enough to go to ground. It used to happen every week in the good old days of real rucking: when men were men and there was none of this mamby-pamby trying to handle the ball at a ruck.

Back then, if you did, you were in trouble, because the Laws distated, the ball had to be played by a foot first in a ruck situation. Then, the English, who, truth to tell, didn't mind standing on their Celtic cousins and the Colonials they met, began to get a bit upset when Jim Telfer got the Scottish pack into trying to match the All Blacks in ferocious ruck clearance. It's one thing to get, in Fin Calder's timeless phrase: “A guid shoein'” the once every two or three years that you have to face the All Blacks, quite another thing to face a Scottish pack who have been on a raw meat diet for the two weeks before they play “Them!!”.

So, the English had their way, handling at a ruck was allowed, and suddenly, standing on a grounded player was a no-no. Now, the Laws of the Game say that a player who is off his feet at a ruck is out of the game; so, how come you cannot then stand on him? He's out of the game, therefore, he is in the way, a wee tickle with a set of studs just might force him to remain on his feet at the next ruck.

The end of feet rucking ushered-in the Days of the Jackal and I have to admit, when you see a jackal move done properly, it is a thing of beauty. However, there is a wide-spread belief that one of the reasons for doing away with the play the ball with a foot Law was, public unrest at seeing players earning their tramlines as they went through what I seem to remember, even Bill McLaren called the sausage making machine.

However, the change to the Law also brought-in some new injuries, as players, exposed in the jackal position, were hit hard by arriving opponents, which led to an increase in head injuries and to knee injuries as the players folded under attack.

I often find myself wondering why referees allow players to do torpedo impressions as they arrive at a forming or formed ruck. They are clearly making no effort to remain on their feet and are generally intent on causing maximum harm to opponents.

We might have to endure a few weeks of concerto for Acme Thunderer and a mini-forest of yellow cards, but, in time, the message would get across and the coaches would find a way to teach the players to at least try to remain on their feet at the breakdown.

One of the most-impressive night's coaching I ever witnessed was back last century, as Taranaki Legend Paul Martin, during a season coaching at Ayr, took his expertise round the other Ayrshire clubs. The rucking session he conducted at Cumnock was a joy to behold, and his lessons were eagerly absorbed by the locals.

The few old timers left, who are even-older than me, still revere the Otago packs who invented rucking; “you could throw a blanket over all eight forwards” as they went about securing possession. To counter their combined threat, the opposition had to put players into the ruck – none of this 12 or 13 men strung across the park nonsense, but, a lot more room available for the backs to run into.

So, why don't we go back to real rucking, tie down more forwards in doing forwards' things and allow the backs to make music in the space left to them? It just might make Rugby Union more-watchable and more fun to play.