Some Left-Field Thinking

I GOT, if not my start in this daft writing game, certainly my biggest early break, thanks to somebody buying a pub. That guy was Frank McCarvel; he had written the Ayr reports for both the Ayrshire Post and the Ayr Advertiser, while his day job was as the Schweppes rep for Ayrshire.

Then he bought a pub and had to cut back, initially, he carried-on doing the Post reports, but he handed off the Advertiser gig to me, since he knew I had previously done the Cumnock match reports for their local paper. But, the pub began to encroach ever more on his time and I got the Post gig as well, until I could eventually go full time at thre writing game.

Frank did a lot for Ayrshire Rugby, one of his good ideas was to start the summer Rug-Soc League, a league whereby the Ayrshire clubs played each other at football, as a means of keeping fit during the summer. This meant the players were around the club s more than they might have been and the annual five-a-side tournament, which ended the season, was always a highlight.

Mind you, this being God's County, some of the games – Ayr v Kilmarnock and Ayr v Cumnock in particular, were as hard-fought as any Ayrshire Junior Football battle. I remember one Ayr v Killie game, at the Old Racecourse, when Kilmarnock fielded a bit of a “ringer” - yes, the guy had played a couple of games for the club, but he was better-known as a member of a Scottish Cup-winning Knockentiber Amateurs team.

Early on in the game he went to war with the Ayr back three: goalkeeper John Taylor (Queen's Park, Scotland Amateurs and Great Britain), Myself and Jock Craig. After the opening ten minutes, Auchlin and I were taking turn-about at kicking him, until eventually, before half time, he surrendered. By which time, the Ayr midfield, marshalled by Gordon Strachan, had control and it was game over.

The teen-aged Strachan won an Ayrshire League Cup with Glenafton Athletic while the young Craig was being courted by both Auchinleck Talbot and Cumnock when he was persuaded to switch to Rugby - he could play a bit. 

Mind you, Rugby Union values were occasionally seen. Big Strachan once deliberately missed a penalty, which he felt the referee (Me) had erroneously awarded, in a game against Dalry HSFP.

The Rug-Soc League enabled Cumnock to recruit big Jacko Quinn, who went on to serve Ayr and Irvine well. He came in to play in the football team, but stayed-on to play Rugby in the winter and found his true vocation.

The thing is, back then, not every club had its own ground and bar and the season was strictly controlled: no play before 1 September and Sevens only, but only after permission – applied for in a letter to Murrayfield, written in the Secretary's blood, after 30 April.

Those clubs which didn't have a clubhouse back then virtually shut down during May, June and most of July. The players either did nothing and got fatter and more-unfit, or indulged in golf, tennis or cricket as a means of keeping active.

But, that was then and this is now and to keep the lights on in the clubhouses, the clubs have to find ways of keeping the membership involved over all 12 months of the year.

For all the SRU's efforts over the many years since Sean Lineen first tried to introduce the notion of Touch Rugby as a skills-basis means of keeping fit and improving our game – I can remember writing about this last century – it has never really caught-on.

Ayr hosts an annual Beach Rugby Tourament, which they have successfully moved from its original venue on The Donald's front lawn to Millbrae, but, while this does guarantee a busy couple of days for the Millbrae bar, it isn't an all Summer long thing.

{History lesson, back in the bad winter of 1962-63 the Ayrshire clubs played on Ayr beach, with that Scottish tradition from another game - “jumpers for goal posts” - so no conversions. It was great fun.]

Ayr Beach, Troon Beach, Irvine Beach, Ardrossan South Beach, “Maybole Shore” - there's five venues in God's County for Beach Rugby – I am sure there are others elsewhere in Scotland. Playing there could keep the troops interested and maybe win the game new converts.

Really sell Sevens. Have a dedicated Sevens Season in say April, May and June, organised on a Regional basis with an all-Scotland Finals Series in August. Sevens teaches us the basic skills of running, passing and evasion. Or is it, just as most Scottish footballers would rather kick an opponent than the ball, Scottish rugby players prefer crash, bang wallop to running free? Ah hae ma doots on that.

We have a Sevens tradition in Scotland, it is woven into our sport. For all they have shown themselves at times to be rather good at it, our southern neighbours don't have the same feel for the short game. So, why doesn't the SRU have a word with Scottish Curling, and find out how to overcome the protacol of UK sports management, that all decisions must be taken in London.

The GB curling teams which, every four years are among Team GB's few nailed-on medal hopes at the Winter Olympics, are, in reality the Scottish teams wearing GB colours. We could do the same with Sevens, but only if we built a substantial platform for the Sevens squads to operate from.

 

Not So Magnificent Sevens

IF YOU WANT to take the temperature of Scottish Rugby, then the pages of The Offside Line is the best place to start. THE controversial incident of a packed rugby weekend was Hollie Davidson's decision, in concert with Mike Adamson, to award a yellow rather than a red card to Bath's Sam Underhill in Friday night's Challenge Cup Final.

On first viewing, I thought “Red Card”, but, Hollie and Mike went through the protacol and found sufficient mitigation to downgrade it to yellow. You may not agree with this, but, in Rugby Union, the referee is the sole judge of fact – Hollie and Mike went through the correct procedure, so, having made their decision, it is up to the rest of us to abide by it. Dumb English talking heads please note.

In the BTL comments on TOL, however, while the mainly Scottish audience was naturally sympathetic to the situation Hollie found herself in, there was a sense that Hollie and the other elite match officials are under pressure, from the High Heid Yins of the game, to try to keep games at 15v15 as much as possible – so perhaps sending-off offences, such as the Court of Public Opinion appears to have judged Underhill's “tackle” are not being punished as much as they should be.

In this case, the COPO is clearly wrong. The onus is on the players to tackle safely and properly, so, if they will not do so – they deserve to be taken out of the game.

Underhill has already been red carded for a similar offence – by Hollie – earlier in the season, after which he presumably went through “Tackle School”, only to come out and get caught again. Methinks young Underhill is the sort of player who suffers what we here in God's County refer to as “regular rushes of shite to the brain”. I have no doubt, he will commit a similar offence in the future, and, again, it will all be the referee's fault.

Rugby Union is valiantly trying to stem the tide of impending law suits, from now-retired players with early onset dimentia and other brain injuries. Against this, they have lowered the tackle height – in the amateur club game – but, significantly not yet in the professional game. I wonder at the thinking of administrators who have not yet brought in this lower tackle height at elite level, where the players are generally, bigger, stronger, faster and hit harder.

• Lower the tackle height

• Make any head-on-head contact a red card – no exceptions

and in jig time, the number of head-on-head collisions would drop; you can never fully eliminate such collisions, but their number could be greatly reduced.

But, I hear the protests, you would have uneven games: 15 v 14 or fewer; again, it's an easy fix. Do what they do in other games such as ice hockey, where, if a player is thrown out of a game, the opposition gets a period of having a numbers advantage, then the excluded player is replaced. Rugby Union has already done this with the 20-minute red card, it's not as if my suggestion would be an innovation.

And what is stopping those gallant few still-employed Rugby Union journalists from asking the referee managers: “Are you pressurising your referees to keep 15 players on the field as much as possible?”

WITH COINCIDENTAL but apt timing, just as Melrose Sevens came around, the Team GB Sevens programme shed its near Harry Potter cloack of Invisibility to get a bit of attention, with the news that another re-boot is on the cards.

Now, the financing of the UK's Olympic Sports is way above my pay grade, but with a record, for the men, of:

• 2016 – silver medal

• 2020 – semi-finals, fourth place

• 2024 – semi-finals, fourth place

then to me that says: “podium potential” and the programme ought to be funded from the main Olympic Games pot. Aparrently, this is not the case, in which case, somebody within Team GB and several people in the three Unions concerned have taken their eye off the ball.

I am loath to criticise the lady, but, The Princess Royal – Patron of the SRU after all, is the High Heid Yin - President of the British Olympic Association and a member of the full International Olympic Committee – that's the sort of clout Sevens should be using.

The women's programme has not produced as good results, but finishes in fourth, fourth and seventh places in it three Olympiads is still, I feel justification for financial support from Team GB.

The World Rugby Sevens Circuit is under review, we understand. I get the impression the professional sports administrators who now have so-much power in the upper reaches of the game are so-obsessed by promoting the 15-a-side club game to something like “Premiership Football Lite” they have totally failed to realise the potential of Sevens.

As with so much in British life, far-less just British sport – all the decisions are made in London, and while Sevens has always been a big deal up here it is less-appreciated by The Rugby Football Union, who, naturally, is the lead union in GB Sevens. There is another slight Rugby Union connection to the BOA in that Board Member Vicky Gosling, a retired RAF Group Captain, who represents GB Snowsports and British Surfing, and has a background in tennis, is also a Founding Custodian of Rugby Centurions – so she will have Donna Kennedy, Chris Paterson, Ross Ford, Sean Lamont and Stuart Hogg on speed dial.

So Sevens is being run from England, by a Union with little time or interest in this form of Rugby Union – no wonder it is being kicked into touch.

I look at Cricket, which still survives in its purest form in Five-Day Test Cricket. However, Three-Day County Cricket, for well over a century the most-popular form of the game, is on life support, while One-Day Cricket, be it T-20, 40-overs, 50-overs of the new toddler form – The 100 appears to be flourishing.

Might encouragement of and investment In Rugby Sevens do for our game, what it did for Cricket, in getting people interested again, while allowing the traditional form to evolve into something the newer fans might in time get to appreciate.

That's enough about Olympic Games Sevens – next time, I will look at Sevens in Scotland.

 

Goode For Nothing

THERE IS in Scots Law, a “Catch-All” charge: “Conduct likely to cause a breach of the peace”. I am told it is seldom used these days, but, it's in there on the Statute Book, ready to be wheeled-out should COPS (the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service) be struggling to nail a Ned.

If I thought they would pay any attention, and if I could be arsed, I might start lobbying World Rugby to bring in a Law, let's call it: “Conduct demonstrating you're a Dick” to be used in cases like that of Bath's Sam Underhill.

Young Master Underhill has already seen red at the hands of Hollie Davidson for a head-on-head contact with an opponent. Did this sanction and the automatic trip to what is humourously dubbed: “Tackle School” cause him to mend his ways? Did it fuck. On Friday night, he again went in high, but, fortunately for him, on this occasion, Hollie found enough mitigation to down-grade the sanction from Red Card to Yellow and, after ten minutes on the naughty step, he was back on the park.

The result, the massed ranks of Premier Sports' English talking heads, led by Andy Goode - “The Bawbag's Bawbag” were lining-up to condemn Hollie, who had gone through the protocol correctly, with TMO Mike Adamson, before making her decision. I sense a touch of misogony in the criticism, a male referee would have got off far-more lightly than did Hollie.

But, the incident demonstrates a well-established fact of refereeing life, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't – it is a wonder anyone picks up a whistle.

Of course, if World Rugby had a set of cojones, they would immediately bring-in the lower tackle height which operates in the amateur club game into the professional one and insist – anyone who tackles above the sternum, any head-on-head contact and you're out of the game.

There would be chaos for a few weeks, then the lesson would be driven home and coaches and players would adapt, thus saving Rugby Union from a problem which the game's rulers have brought on themselves.

We all know, if we don't have referees, we don't have a game. These much-maligned but very-necessary people must do it out of love for the game, either that or there are an awful lot of masochists out there who just love having abuse hurled at them.

A long-serving Scottish football referee of my acquaintance, Graham Allison, would apologise profusely any time he had to red card a miscreant. Graham was a really nice man, and if he perhaps went further than most, I think his attitude was typical of referees, whatever the game. They all know, sending-off a player might totally skew a game and are reluctant to do this – so, the onus has to be on the players and the coaches to mend their ways.

In the end, the two yellows they picked-up did not prevent Bath from winning on Friday night, courtesy of a terrific display from their half-backs. Ben Spencer was a worthy Man of the Match, while The Gallus One, playing well within himself, pulled the strings in his own inimitable fashion, kicked his conversions and guided his team home.

SATURDAY'S Investec Cup Final was as clear an indication of my accusation of misogony as you could wish for – with virtually no post mortem, far less an in-depth one, for the yellow cards waved for high tackles. The subliminal message from the English commentators being: “Yes, a man may find mitigation, but, not a woman.”

UBB were worthy winners, Northampton Saints had a real go, but, in the end, the match proved that The Top 14 is the premier league in world rugby.

The match ended on a downer, with Henry Pollock becoming embroiled in a fracas with several UBB players. I sense perhaps young Pollock is starting to believe his own publicity. I fancy he will face a tough time when he gets to Australia with the Lions.

There is the legend of the England centre, already anointed by “Fleet Street” as the Lions' starting centre on one Tour, whose career never recovered from being dumped on his arse by Willie John McBride then trampled by half a dozen other Celts in the opening training session. I can easily see this happening to young Pollock.

I fancy, the Gallagher Premiership and United Rugby Championship clubs will face a tough job in catching-up with the French clubs, who clearly are better-funded and organised that their opponents in Europe.

Yes, I had more interest in the Bath game, courtesy of watching you know who, than in the bigger final, but the entire weekend for me was further proof, we have to, somehow, wrestle broadcasting decision-making away from the English, because basically, in Rugby Union as in life – knowing only England is to be critically handicapped.

The best talking head over the two games was John Barclay, measured, neutral, insightful. I know Ryan Wilson is a divisive figure, particularly disliked in certain parts of Great Western Road and in many ways the poor man's Austin Healey, but he does his street interviews well and his enthusiasm covers other faults.

Chris Paterson – who didn't get a gig at the weekend, is another quality operator, while Tom Shanklin, brought in as the Token Taff, since the games were in Cardiff, was under-utilised.

Instead, we had to endure a host of braying “Nigels”, topped off by Andy Goode, who has surely now displaced Will Carling and Clive Woodward as the Englishman we would most like to find at the bottom of an old-school ruck.

FINALLY – I would like to say something about the Melrose Sevens, but, will save that for a longer piece – coming soon.

A Short Rant

I WISH no harm to new Edinburgh signing Charlie McCaig, but, surely his capture sends out a signal to the Scottish club game from Murrayfield – that signal is: “We don't rate you, your players or your development programme.”

Now McCaig might possibly turn out to be the next big thing, but this is a kick in the teeth to the likes of Ayr's Jamie Shedden, Hawick's Andrew Mitchell and Currie's DJ Innes, to name just three centres who have lit-up the Arnold Clark Premiership this season.

Scottish football has gone downhill via the clubs ignoring home-grown talent to pack their squads with third or fourth rate non-Scots; for all their talk about putting Scottish talent first, signing the admittedly Scottish-qualified McCaig sends out the wrong message.

If he has not established himself in a weak Exeter squad by now, I don't think he's Edinburgh-class. I will be delighted if I am proved wrong, but, Ah hae ma doots about him.

OK, I accept the SRU has financial troubles and careful budgeting is required, but it has been required for some time past, but the costs have continued to rise faster than income.

OK, I accept somebody has to make the call about player recruitment, but, queston if the right guys are making the right calls.

OK, I accept, winning the bloody thing is more-important to the Premiership clubs than developing international class players for Scotland.

But, if the Irish can get it mostly correct, why cannot we Scots?

Super Rugby might have worked, but Murrayfield fucked it up good and proper, then scrapped it. Re-configuring the Premiership as a second go at Super rugby might work, except, I don't think both the will or the intelligence exists within Murrayfield to make it happen.

Private Frazer lives – and he's inside Murrayfield. The place where they couldnae run a menauge.

 

Law Enforcement In Rugby Is A Mess

NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME, in rounding-up the week-end's BKT United Rugby Championship games, I found myself criticising the match officials.

Now, I take no pleasure in criticising Referee Ben Whitehouse, he did some good things, he made one or two decisions he might, in the cold light of dawn, wish he had made differently. No way is he, the man on the ground, biased, but, he is having to operate under a set of Laws which, while they worked well in the slower, less-physical game which Rugby Union Football was for most of its history, are, in this 21^st century, no longer fit for purpose.

When I first rocked-up at Murrayfield to watch Scotland, we beat France 11-9 in my first live Murrayfield game, on 11 January, 1958, the Scottish side all looked fairly normal – the tallest player was probably lock Malcolm Swan, who would be about six foot two, while prop, the great Hugh McLeod, was only five foot nine and just over 15 stones – that's George Horne's height and Stafford McDowall's weight in present-day values. Young McDowall – a centre remember - is the same height and weight as his Dad, Fergus, who played lock for Glasgow – that's how much things have changed.

The Laws which worked for normal-sized individuals, I would suggest need tweaking for the giants we are fielding today. Or are we, given the size of modern players, approaching the position where we may see American Football-style padding and protective armour being used in Rugby Union?

It's either that, or we de-power the game, and I don't see how we could do that.

Of course, it would help the game no end, if we had consistency of refereeing interpretation of the Laws, or even consistency in the proper application of the Laws as they are currently written – making scrum-halves put the ball in straight down the middle of the tunnel, rather than straight into their own scrum's second row; getting hookers to stay off the field when throwing-into the lines-out, and while we are there, do away with this abomination – if the opposition doesn't challenge, let a squint throw-in go unpenalised.

Ben Whitehouse making Sam Prendergast re-take that penalty through the mark on Saturday was a rare case of that particular disregard for the Laws being pulled-up, I would like to see more such cases; while scrum-halves obeying the use ruck ball within five seconds of being told rule needs to be better policed.

I have long called for another steal from American Football – the use of greater numbers of on-field officials, but, before we get there, maybe we should have the officials we do have doing more. The ARs ought to be policing the Offside Line (not Mr Barnes' excellent website), more than they currently do.

I would also like to see, as happens in Football, one-nation teams of match officials in the big games. In the URC, I have long been frustrated at the one-eyed home ARs who repeatedly do down Glasgow and Edinburgh on away trips. Our Scottish officials may not be perfect, but, they are more-neutral than their buddies from the other nations.

“The Blind Irish Referee” was first identified by Max Boyce over 50 years ago – mind you, before that, we had “The Blind Welsh Referee” as Fin Smith's Grandfather could testify if he was still around. However, before they go totally blind, Irish referees initially learn to be one-eyed. Mr Whitehouse got precious little help in maintaining neutrality from the two one-eyed Paddies assigned to Saturday's game.

Indeed, as was pointed out in more than one BTL comment on TOL, the way Leinster are permitted to ride a horse and cart through the Laws at the breakdown, it makes you think the URC officials are shown various offences and told: “You must penalise these offences when any other team does it, but Leinster and Munster, particularly Leinster, are permitted to ignore this Law at all times.”

I know that in North America's National Hockey League, The NHL, the clubs train their “enforcers” in fighting technique. It's hard enough to throw a meaningful punch, even harder on ice skates, so clearly some training on law-breaking is going on across the Irish Sea.

I get the distinct impression, the Irish Rugby Football Union organises courses on how to break the Laws of our game, and more importantly, how to get away with this. If they're not doing this, then the URC must be instructing Referees: “You referee to one set of Laws for the Irish teams, particularly Leinster, and a much-stricter set of Laws for their opponents.”

That's another thing, URC referees officiate to one set of guidelines, the Gallagher Premiership officials work to another, while the French officials work to a third set. Then you bring-in the Southern Hemisphere officials, all of whom have their own wee foibles, according to which Union they are affilliated to.

It really is long past time World Rugby got their officiating standards and criteria sorted out, so every referee is singing from the same hymn sheet.

But, even then, we would still be stuck with Andy Brace and Matt Carley for a few more seasons.

 

Mixed Fortunes But They Are Still Standing

REGULAR READERS of this rubbish will be well aware of my liking for George Macdonald Fraser's line from “The General Danced At Dawn” about the Jocks following their “Ruperts” (Anglo-Scottish officers) out of a morbid fascination as to what sort of bother they are going to lead them into this time.

I fear the pandemic might be catching and had perhaps something to do with the record attendance of 7989 at The Hive on Friday night. That Edinburgh should treat them to a bonus-point win, well, how Scottish is that? There are three ways of winning in Sport:

1. The Hard Way

2. The Easy Way

3. The Scottish Way – the hard way with additional, unnecessary angst.

Edinburgh's ultimately comfortable win, did at one time look as if, at best, it would be a demonstration of method 3 of winning.

There were some excellent individual displays: Darcy Graham posting a “here I am, come and get me” reminder to Andy Farrell, with an excellent hat-trick; while Magnus Bradbury, with the Summer Tour in mind, sent virtually the same message to the watching Gregor Townsend, as he picked-up the Man of the Match award.

The Leavers were sent off in style, and I particularly enjoyed that clock-turning-back break from Mark Bennett, off the bench, he still sees and runs lines that no other Scottish centre does. But, I'm heavily biased about oor Marko.

The performance wasn't perfect, but, Edinburgh are in the play-offs, and while they now have to win on the road, which will not be easy, they have ensured Champions Cup Rugby in the capital next season.

PRE-GAME, I kind of feared, Leinster v Glasgow would be “A Dalek Game”, watched from behind the couch, with hands over the eyes for lengthy periods, but, it didn't turn out that way.

Indeed, there was so little between the teams I was, by the end, in full conspiracy mode, convinced one or two representatives of Dublin's Rugby Mafia – The Murphyia – had called on the officiating team at half-time to gently remind them who was supposed to win.

In the first half, Referee Ben Whitehouse stamped firmly on some of the usual nefarious Irish practices. A try from a cross-kick was chalked-off, because in taking the penalty and kicking, Sam Prendergast hadn't kicked through the mark.

Now this has been a problem, since Dan Biggar started doing this a few seasons ago, but, as usual, probably under orders from Rugby House in Dublin, the referees have ignored it and it has become something of an Irish speciality. So it was good to see Whitehouse pull Leinster up for it, then ping them for another Irish speciality - tackling beyond the ruck - “The POM Dispensation” as it is known.

Thus, for a time, Leinster were rocking. But, in the second half, it was situation normal, seemingly one rule for Glasgow, another, more-lenient interpretation of the same offence, for the Dubs. Add in the usual one-eyed Irish Assistant Referees, they don't turn fully blind until they get a whistle, and the balance swung towards the home side.

It was enough to see them home. Leinster might still have won with an unbiased refereeing team, but, the favours they get from officials in Dublin, well, the URC definitely has a problem.

I have a feeling it could be third time lucky, should the sides meet again later in the knock-outs. If Glasgow can get most, if not all of the missing big guns back, and they get a half-way competent officiating team, they could win.

Certainly, it was good to see Sione T come through his 40-minute come back; the young locks played really well, while Seb Stephen, until he tired, had a cracking debut, including some terrific arrows. All is not lost yet.

So we know know how the knock-out phase of the URC will work:

DHL Stormers will rock up at Scotstoun to face Warriors, 7.35pm, on Friday, 30 May. (Quarter-final 4)

Vodacombe Bulls will entertain Edinburgh, at Loftus Versfeld, Pretoria, 12.30pm, Saturday, 31 May. (Quarter-final 2)

Leinster will face Scarlets, in Aviva Stadium, Dublin, 3pm, Saturday, 31 May. (Quarter-final 1)

Hollywoodbets Sharks will face Munster at Kings Park, Durban, 5,30pm, Saturday, 31 May. (Quarter-final 4)

In the Semi-finals, on Saturday, 7 June, the winners of QF1 will host the winners of QF4, while the winners of QF2 will host the winners of QF3. Thus, if Glasgow win their Quarter-final, they will bead back to The Aviva, while a win in Pretoria will hand Edinburgh home advantage against the winner of the Sharks v Munster game.

Still plenty to play for.

 

The Stars O' Rabbie Burns Country

SOCRATES MacSPORRAN – who is Rob Newman to my David Beddeil, here at the Scottish Institute of Sports Psychology – recently selected an XI of the finest gladiators to ever entertain the crowds in the blood-letting sport of Ayrshire Junior Football. Anxious not to be left out, I here offer for rancid criticism my selection of the best Rugby Union players to emerge from God's County.

FITBA may be King when it comes to sport in Ayrshire – well at least when it comes to pulling in fans, but the County has a marvellous reputation in other sports, such as golf, curling and bowls to name but a few.

Rugby Union has never been rated highly locally, however, certainly in this century, Ayr Rugby club has come through to a position where the Millbrae-based outfit is now Scotland's top club side. It is necessary to make that definition – since, even as reigning Scottish Champions, Ayr would admit, they are some way off being able to challenge the two full-time professional clubs, Edinbrugh and Glasgow Warriors.

Ayr has sent a steady stream of players, coaches and back-room staff to the professional ranks, but, Rugby Union in Ayrshire is not a Millbrae monopoly, over the years quite a few Ayrshiremen have gone on to represent Scotland and the British and Irish Lions.

So, what might a Best of Ayrshire Rugby Union team look like. Well, based on my more than 50 years writing about the game, here is my Ayrshire team – The Stars O' Rabbie Burns (Country).

I list the team in 1-23 order, with the forwards numbered 1 to 8, the backs 9 to 15. My selection is:

1. Loose-head Prop: Ian McLauchlan - “Mighty Mouse” or as we refer to him here in Ayrshire: “Wee Fudd” - former Scotland captain, twice a British Lion, scoring the opening try in the 1971 series in New Zealand and a member of The Invincibles, who went unbeaten through South Africa in 1974. Tarbolton's finest, a former pupil of Ayr Academy, has to wear the number 1 jersey. He won 43 Scotland caps, plus 8 for the Lions and, in retirement, he was President of the SRU.

2. Hooker: Pat McArthur - Pat, who attended Prestwick Academy, learned his rugby At the Ayr club, going on to join Glasgow Warriors and winning 6 caps for Scotland. He then returned to Ayr, coaching Ayrshire Bulls in the short-lived Super rugby competition before becoming forwards coach at Millbrae.

3. Tight-head Prop: Jock “Stiffy” McClure – Stiffy was a legend in Ayrshire Rugby, a regular in the Glasgow side in the amateur era, when Ayr was not a senior club. His best years coincided with World War II, but he won 4 war-time caps, awards which were upgraded to full cap status in 1973 as part of the SRU's 150^th anniversary. He was still playing for Ayr in his sixties. He served for many years as Head of PE at Cumnock Academy, before ending his career back at his old school, Ayr Academy.

4. Lock: Bill Cuthbertson - “Gulliver” as he was known due to his travel sickness, played rugby at Marr and Kilmarnock before, after being capped by Scotland, he moved to London and played for Harlequins. In retirement, he coached Rugby at a public school in West Sussex. He won 21 Scotland caps.

5. Lock: Gordon Brown - “Broon From Troon” was a legend in World Rugby, being inducted into the World Rugby Hall of Fame. Another product of Marr College, he is the youngest son of a former Scotland goalkeeper. Gordon was the only forward to go on all three Lions tours of the 1970s, to Austrtalia and New Zealand in 1971, South Africa in 1974 and New Zealand in 1977. He won 30 caps for Scotlan and 8 for the Lions and in retirment he became one of the game's great after-dinner speakers. After his early death, aged 53, a memorial garden is his memory was opened in Troon.

6. Blind-Side Flanker: Alistair McHarg – Irvine-born “Big Al” locked the Scotland scrum alongside Gordon Brown in many internationals, but, he was perhaps, because of his ability to range around the park, better suited to play 6. Certainly in present-day Rugby, that is where he would be playing. A former pupil of Irvine Royal Academy and a founder member of the Irvine club, he went on to play for West of Scotland, before giving many years of service, as player and coach, to London Scottish. He won 44 caps for Scotland, but, amazingly, he never played for the Lions.

7. Open-side Flanker: Gordon Strachan – From Coylton, Gordon learned his Rugby at Ayr Academy. He was, however, an all-round sportsman, winning medals with Glenafton Athletic, before concentrating on Rugby. He played for Ayr and Jordanhill College, captained the Glasgow District team and won 5 Scotland caps. He then returned to Ayr as Captain and later Head Coach. He had qualified as a PE teacher at Jordanhill College and spent the bulk, of his teaching career as head of PE at Kyle Academy in Ayr.

8. Number Eight: Peter Brown – Gordon's elder brother, Peter learned the game at Marr College, then played for West of Scotland, with whom he won the first of his eventual 27 Scotland caps. He then joined Gala, when his career as a Chartered Accountant took him to the Borders. Here he demonstrated great expertise in Sevens, the short form or Rugby Union. Initgially a lock, he later moved back to number eight, from whence he captained Scotland. His match-winning conversion in the 1971 Calcutta Cup game at Twickenham is the stuff of legend, giving Scotland their first win in London since 1938. He later refereed at a high level and was an international disciplinary commissioner.

9. Scrum-Half: Bryan Gossman – A former pupil of Ardrossan Academy, Bryan played for their FP club, before moving to Kilmarnock and on to West of Scotland. He won three caps for Scotland at stand-off, and would have won more but for the fact his career coincided with that of John Rutherford. However, I have picked him in his original position of scrum-half.

10. Stand-off: Derrick Lee - “Dessie” won 12 Scotland caps out of Watsonians and London Scottish, but, he was very-much an Ayrshireman. He learned the game under Gordon Strachan at Kyle Academy, and was playing for the Ayr first team while still at school, before moving to Watsonians, when he went to university in Edinburgh. He would surely have won more caps, but for some horrendous injuries, which meant he retired from the game at an early age. He could also play full-back.

11. Left-winger: David Shedden – Shedden, from Beith, went to Spiers School, then played for Old Spierians, before going on to spend the bulk of his career with West of Scotland. He was slight, barely 11 stones soaking wet, but, he was quick, sprinter-quick and he tackled like the clap of doom. He was capped 15 times by Scotland during his West days.

12. Inside Centre: Ian Murchie – the second Ardrossan Academical in the team, Murchie was another to move to West of Scotland, with whom he was a regular in the Glasgow side. He was chosen for a Scotland tour to Argentina in 1969, playing in one of the then non-cap internationals. He suffered a bad knee injury, which effectively ended his top-flight career. However, like Stiffy McClure, he was retrospectively capped in 2023, an honour he richly deserved. In retirement, he became one of the top men in the sportswear industry, with Adidas then Le Coq Sportif.

13. Outside Centre: Mark Bennett – the only currently-active player in the team, Cumnock's Marco went from his local club to Ayr, then onto Glasgow. He had a brief spell in France with Clermont Auverge, before returning to Glasgow, then moving along the M8 to Edinburgh. He has won 29 caps for Scotland, but he also played for Scotland Sevens and in 2016 he won an Olympic silver medal as a member of the Great Britain Sevens squad.

14. Right Winger: Derek Stark - “Starkie” has, it is said: “more clubs than Tiger Woods”. He started with local side Kilmarnock, but has also played, among other clubs, for Ayr, Boroughmuir, Melrose and Glasgow Hawks. Described as “A Rolls Royce” for his smooth running style, he won 9 Scotland caps and was one of the original players when the SRU formed the professional Glasgow side. He now works in the events business and, it is said, will attend the opening of an envelope.

15. Full-Back: Niven Rose - “Monty” created a stir when chosen for the full Glasgow District side when still a member of the junior Dalry High School FP club. He then moved on to Kilmarnock, where he was a key member of their “Magnificent Seven” team. Niven was good enough to play for Scotland, at one time he was rated above Andy Irvine, but he was not that bothered about playing for Scotland and as a result, never got beyond B caps.

Modern-day Rugby Union at elite level is a 23-man game, so here is the Ayrshire bench:

16. Back-up hooker: Quinton Dunlop – The man from Maybole had a short-lived dream career as a Scotland cap. He was a late call-up for the 1971 Calcutta Cup game at Twickenham, for his first cap and was part of that iconic Scotland win. A week later, at Murrayfield, he won his second and final cap as Scotland again beat England, in a Centenary International. After those two games, he was yesterday's man. He continued to serve West of Scotland for a time, before ending his career where it had started, back at Ayr.

17. Back-up Loose-head: Gordon Reid – like Ian McLauchlan, Gordy, from Mossblown, learned the game at Ayr Academy, before joining Ayr then being offered a Glasgow contract. He later played for London Irish, before returning to play for Ayrshire Bulls then ending his playing career with Marr. He won 41 Scotland caps during his career.

18. Back-up Tight-head Prop: Jock Craig - “The Auchlin Bull” has been a fixture around Ayr RFC for over 60 years, as player, club administrator, President and Director of Rugby. But, at Cumnock Academy his distaste for Rugby would annoy PE teacher Stiffy McClure no end. Jock was a member of a very-successful Academy school football team, in which his team mates included Tommy Donnelly and Tom Burley, whose sons Simon and Craig would go on to play for Scotland. On leaving school, Jock was persuaded to try Rugby, and he never looked back. In spite of the competition from Ian McLauchlan and Sandy Carmichael, the Scotland props, he had a few games for Glasgow, sat on the bench for Scotland B and played for a Glasgow and Edinburgh XV against the All Blacks. His ability to play on either side of the scrum gets him onto this bench.

19. Back-up Lock: David Gray - “Big Davie”, stood six foot eight in his bare feet and was a very-good lock with Kilmarnock, West of Scotland, Glasgow and Scotland, for whom he won 9 caps. However, he suffered somewhat from comparison with Gordon Brown and Alistair McHarg.

20. Back-up Back Row: David Good – Another Kilmarnock player, David played for his local club, either side of a spell at West of Scotland, during which he represented Glasgow District. He was unfortunate not to gain higher honours, he was a very under-rated player.

21. Back-up Scrum-Half: Sandy Service – Sandy emerged from Merchiston Castle School, straight into the Ayr first team. From there he moved on to West of Scotland, playing for Glasgow and for Scotland B during a lengthy period at Burnbrae. He also started and ran a company specialising in supplying playing kit to clubs.

22. Back-up Threequarter: Steven Munro – the son of a Dunure fisherman, Steven won Scottish Schools honours as a pupil at Ayr Academy, before joining Ayr. However, to win a full Scotland cap, he had to move, to West of Scotland, before returning to play for his home-town club. A centre at school, he was capped as a winger and his versatitily gets him onto the bench, although, it was a toss-up between him and Derek Stark for the starting team.

23. Back-up Threequarter: John Brown – If Derrick Lee was unfortunate with injuries, he had it easy compared to the eldest of the three Brown brothers to have played for Ayr. Injury cost John a full Scotland cap, although he did play for Scotland B. He could play anywhere from scrum-half to full-back and was a deadly place kicker.

Sadly, 8 of the 23 players listed are no longer with us, but, I am convinced these are the pick of the many fine players to have turned out for Ayrshire's Rugby Union clubs.

 I have also selected a three-man coaching team: Campbell Bone and "The Ayatollah" John McHarg, with Brian Gilbert looking after the backs, should keep that lot4 in order.

 

We're Not Selling Rugby Union Properly

DECADES AGO, I had a conversation with a former Scotland cap in which a business trip he had been on came up. Apparently he had been sharing a hotel with some Disney Studios executives, whose motto was: “Anything for the Mouse”. This was perhaps the first time I had encountered brand awareness and protection.

I have been ruminating on brand awareness this week, after the shit show of that tawdry Lions' team announcement. In sport, boxing and wrestling have long been outliers – clear cases of: “never mind the dignity – feel the hype” as ever more tawdry stunts were pulled in an effort to put bums on seats. Perhaps boxing has moved on somewhat from the low point of Don King, but the jury is still out on that.

I fear the Lions naming debacle was yet another example of a recent phenomenon – the rise in influence of professional sports administrators, who appear to know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Selling tickets for the announcement, to me, rather devalued rather than enhanced the Lions' brand.

Another Rugby Union brand which has become somewhat devalued of late is The Barbarians, a team which has perhaps been overtaken in its status by outside events. Back in the day, amateur clubs were only too happy to release their star names for Barbarians duty. It is a lot less-easy to get professional clubs, some such as Glasgow and Edinburgh, wholly-owned subsidiaries of national Unions, to release their players to an invitation club. And that's before we consider the ancillary costs, such as insurance.

That great Scottish international Herbert Waddell was, for decades, a pillar of the club, so it was fitting that the club should, last Saturday, play Glasgow Academicals, Waddell's home club, in a match to celebrate the centenary of Scotland's first Grand Slam, which was, of course clinched by Waddell's contribution to the win over England in the Murrayfield opening match.

There has been a tartan strain running through the Barbarians' history, since even before Herbert Waddell. Great Scottish stars have worn the black and white hoops with pride and honour, so, I was somewhat surprised at the absence of Scottish players from the Barbarians side against Accies.

This match was the second in two weeks for the Barbarians, but while that weel-kent tight-head Steven Longwell and former Scotland Under-20 flanker Jack Hill were in their team against Durham University on 3 May, there were no Scots in their team at New Anniesland.

That team contained players mainly playing below Championship level in England. Surely the Barbarians could have found space for a couple of players from our own Arnold Clark Premiership. I would suggest, players such as Ayr's Blair Macpherson, Kelso's Bruce McNeill or Currie's Graeme Carson would have relished a career-capping Barbarians appearance.

Or, why shouldn't younger talents such as Hawick's Andrew Mitchell, Ayr's Jamie Shedden or Currie's DJ Innes have had the chance to strut their stuff in that iconic jersey?

Sadly the match did not receive much media coverage, which I think was a shame. The Offside Line does a great job in covering Scottish Rugby, but, they cannot be everywhere and in this case, with both professional teams in action on the same day – they body-swerved the game in Glasgow.

Scottish Rugby News as is their want, stuck to their pattern of refusing to recognise any Rugby Union being played in Scotland below the URC.

I cannot help reflecting on the coverage that game would have received, back in the days when the Glasgow Herald, as it then was, took the game seriously and even the lowliest club midweek club game, at this time of the season, could be embellished by the presence on the touchline of WM McMurtrie, John Downie or Glen Stirling.

Hell, I can remember going up to Hughenden one chilly winter night, to watch and report-on that weel-kent Cumnock Legend Billy Herbertson making his debut for the Glasgow District Union XV against Edinburgh District Union, to find myself sitting between The Scotsman's Chris Rea and Bill McMurtrie – you don't get District Union games now (although kudos to the Borderers for trying to bring them back) far less Rugby-writing royalty covering the games.

Which comes back to my oft-stated point, the game of Rug by Union Football in Scotland is not selling itself as well as it could – and should.