Murrayfield - You Have a Player Problem

I SEE Richard Cockerill has been gnashing his gums about his squad this week. Basically, he is waiting to see if stand-off Simon Hickey will be staying for at least another year, or if he will be moving-on.

The Head Coach also appears to be having a wee dig at the SRU, over his budget, along with giving the impression, if he does have to replace Hickey, he would prefer to buy-in a ready-made replacement, because, he doesn't think any of the younger Scots tens is ready to step up.

This admission is yet another condemnation of the management of Scotland's dreadfully-small pool of full-time professional players. And Cockerill is part of that management team.

Let's not forget, both Edinburgh and Glasgow are wholly-owned subsidiaries of the SRU. Now, let's look at their playing resources at stand-off.

Glasgow has Adam Hastings as first-choice in the number ten shirt. When it comes to back-up he has two thirtysomething former internationalists in Peter Horne and Ruaridh Jackson and South African Brandon Thomson. I suppose, if push came to shove in an injury crisis, for instance, Dave Rennie, or next season Danny Wilson, could use George Horne at ten, since he has played there in the Premiership for Glasgow Hawks.

Across at Edinburgh, Jaco van der Walt is first-choice, ahead of Hickey, with Jason Baggott as number three. Baggott has been with Edinburgh for three years, during which time, he has played just one game (according to the Edinburgh website). If he's not ready to step up, whose fault is it – has he been given a chance?

There is also the belief that Blair Kinghorn, who played ten as a youngster, could do a job – well why not give him a try.

OK, I accept the SRU does not have the cash to run a third full-time professional team, even as a “development squad,” hence the introduction of Super6.

I further accept, Super6 has had a difficult birth, indeed, as I feared they might, the SRU are still making it up as they go along when it comes to this semi-professional brand of rugby. But, if by this time next year, some of the thrusting youngsters in S6, such as Ayrshire Bulls' ten Ross Thompson, are not pushing for at least bench time with the two full-time teams:, then: “Murrayfield – you have a problem.”

When you are constrained by cash shortages as to the number and quality of over-ready players you can recruit, then your in-house development scheme has to be good. Not many of think the SRU development shceme, via Academies and so on, are fit for purpose.

OK, that's not Cockerill's problem, but, maybe he should be doing a wee bit more to bring-on his fringe players and the Academy Stage III players who are full-time with Edinburgh. And the same thing holds good for Rennie and his team at Scotstoun.

Between the two professional teams, we have seven players labelled “number tens.”

• One is Scotland's current first-choice number ten
• Two are “past internationals”
• Three are non-Scotland-qualified
• One is a young player who might train-on to make the grade.

Do these numbers add-up? Is this state of affairs acceptable? On the face of it, yet another failure by the SRU's professional and performance department.

Over to you Jim Mallinder – can you sort this sorry state of affairs?

We Need To Give Our Match Officials More Help

I HAVE, of late become convinced, present-day, professional or even semi-professional Rugby Union is now too-complicated and intense a game to be officiated over by a three-person team of match officials. There is, at least at the top end, too-much going-on for three people to ensure all the Laws are being adhered to, all the time.

Now, to an extent, I feel, today's officials are perhaps being “leaned-on” to allow the game to flow – in the interests of entertainment. But, that's an issue I will return to later and, in any case, I feel in a game as-abrasive and aggressive as Rugby Union, laissez-faire attitudes to officiating should be discouraged, if not completely outlawed.

It's the old story – give an inch and you lose a mile. We ignored squint scrum feeds, now you never see a straight one.

Now we are increasingly seeing squint line-out feeds not being penalised, it's the thin end of the wedge.

We hear commentators lauding “defensive line speed,” when a lot of the time, the defenders are taking off from beyond the offside line – and getting away with it nine times out of ten.

At rucks, where the Law quite clearly calls for the players to at least try to remain on their feet – how often do we see flying clean-outs. OK, now, by and large, no-arms entries to rucks are penalised, but, we still see too-many players off their feet, hurtling headlong into rucks – and getting away with it.

The game is dangerous enough, without allowing kamikaze tactics at the breakdown.

In American Football's National Football League – the NFL – they only have 22 players on the field at any one time, but, their third team – the match officials – is seven strong: a dedicated team of officials: Referee, Umpire, Down Judge, Line Judge, Field Judge, Side Judge and Back Judge, working together to ensure the Referee, or Crew Chief, gets his decisions correct.

The NFL also has its version of the TMO (Television Match Official). This is known as Game Day Central – a single almost television studio, to which all contentious calls are referred for review – but, as with Rugby Union, the final call is down to the Referee, after he has had a chance to review the footage.

Leaving the guy in the TV truck out of the equation for the moment, in the NFL, we have seven pairs of eyes watching what is going on, against the three pairs of eyes in Rugby Union. They are watching fewer players, so, the odds are, they will catch more offences.

Even if we do not immediately go down the road of multiple officials, with certain responsibilites over individual aspects of the game, I believe we ought to be using technology, at the upper end of the game, to help out the on-field officials at one of today's more-argued-over parts of the game – the scrum.

At the level of the international game, and the full-time professional one, we are now used to the Bird's-Eye View camera, hovering over the scrums. Use this facility, and the TMO would immediately be able to alert the Referee, to a tight-head boring-in on his opposing hooker, and therefore not pushing straight.

We should maybe be thinking of bringing in an official to police the opposite side of the scrum from that on which the ball is being put-in, to look for jiggery-pokery down the blind side. At the moment, this is being left to the opposite side Assistant Referee, who can be some 70-yards away from the scrum.

And while we are discussing the scrum. Why don't we stop the match clock until the ball is in the scrum. Stop it if there has to be a re-set, this single act would free-up a lot of game time, currently being wasted.

One of the worst aspects of the weekend's Six Nations matches was the amount of back chat from captains which the referees tolerated. My personal view is, the England v Ireland game would have been a much-better spectacle if Jaco Peyper had sent off both Owen Farrell and Johnny Sexton in the first half.

OK, they are probably the two most-annoying wee shites in the history of the game, but, Peyper was, for me, far-too lenient in what he put up with from both.

Similarly, on Saturday, Matt Carley, who didn't have the perfect game in any case, to me allowed Alun Wyn Jones too-much leeway in the way he seemed to question every decision. Mind you, perhaps that was a factor in France getting the benefit of the doubt at that “deliberate knock-on” ruling in the match; we will never know.

Refereeing is a hard job, but, the officials do their best. Since neutral officials came in, I have only twice seen match officials (as it happens the same referee both times) who I thought: “You're bent.”

We all remember the old days of home club officials, where the away team had to almost kill their hosts to get a win. We don't have them today, particularly at the top. OK, referees are human, they still make the odd mistake, but, by and large, they do a very-difficult job, very-well,

We need to give them all the help we can, for, without a referee, we have no game. I just feel, today, we can and should, give them more help – for the good of the game.

It's Shite Being Scottish - So - Be Thankful For The Occasional Small Triumph

REGULAR readers of this blog will need no reminding, I am a fan of the words and sentiments Irvine Welsh gave Mark Renton to say in what is now known as “Renton's Rant” in 'Trainspotting.'

I honestly do believe, “It's shite being Scottish,” a feeling which was reinforced when I read some of the online social media comments following yesterday's win over Italy in Rome.

Time for a reality check:

• Yesterday's game was our 103^rd Six Nations match
• We have won just 29 of these games – a 28% wins ratio
• Gregor Townsend has been our coach in 13 6N game
• We have won 5 of these games – giving him a 38% wins ratio
• There have been to date, 308 6N games since 2000
• Saturday's was only the seventh game in which one side had prevented the other from scoring – that's 2.2% of the games
• France has won 3 of these 7 games, Scotland 2, Wales 1 and England 1.
• Italy has lost 4 of the 7 games without scoring, Scotland 2 and Ireland 1.

So, clean sheets in the Six Nations are as rare as hen's teeth, Scotland has only done this in 1-9% of their games – So, what's with the moaning after such a win?

It's not as if we are “The Brazilians of rugby,” living with the concept of: “OK – you score three times, we will score four.” With our overall wins ration being so low, I will quite happily settle for never getting into the opposition's half in the entire match, then winning it with a 70 metre penalty – wrongly awarded – in the fifth minute of time added on. More so the reason to celebrate if it was against England.

Yesterday's win was hardly achieved by playing champagne rugby, but, when you're Scotland, a win is a win is a win, and I will happily take any win that comes along.

Yes, we would all love to see a special talent such as Finn Russell turning-on the magic in a Scotland shirt.

But, he has ruled himself out of Scotland action – so we have to get on with things without him. The boys did win yesterday – that will do for me.

And, while we are at it:

• Edinburgh won on Friday night, despite having nine players, including an entire pack of forwards, on Scotland duty
• Glasgow won on Saturday night, despite having seven players away on Scotland duty
• Our Under-20s won on Friday night, perhaps they have turned the corner.

I know, all is not well within Scottish rugby:

• Our Governance systems are a mess
• We could probably do with at least a third full-time professional team
• Our grass roots require some serous work if they are to thrive and flourish.

But:

• We are not in the midst of a run of 17 straight defeats
• At professional club level, we are probably punching above our weight
• As I write this, we sit above England in the Six Nations table.

This is Scotland we are talking about. The wind does not always need to be in our faces; so, for once, let's stop moaning and enjoy the moment.

A Letter From Australia

TODAY'S post was prompted by the following. It is a letter which a friend and follower of this blog received from one os his mates, an Australian-based athletics post.

The Aussie's letter reads:

"Coaches and athletes have been warning the country about this for decades now. This is not solely happening in Australia but in most administrations. Look back in history to the creation and growth of the 'career sporting bureaucrat' and you will see the demise of many sports.

The problem is that career bureaucrats beget career bureaucrats and after their spawning at the top of the pile they start to appear lower and lower in the continuum. In the early days we only had to look up to the pinnacle to see them e.g. Ministers of Sport, Chairmen of Sport Australia, Chairmen of UK Sport, special Boards of Management, etc.

After a while, through their own unique means of decision-making and career re-structuring they started to appear at the top of the pile in individual sports at Board level. After a while here they started to appear in the regions for the sports (States and Counties, Institutes and Academies) and again an expensive, bloated administration took hold. Never forget how efficient their snouts are as they furnish their own administration with PA's; appoint Directors of this or that; invest vast amounts of money in consultants and, without conscience, move further and further away from the beating heart of their sport - the athletes and coaches.

When the public and media decide to question this group and attempt to hold them accountable we are met with the usual lame excuses. This is often followed by the creation of a new Athlete Pathway document or a new High-Performance document, or a new something-or-other project to deflect the criticism.

Eventually when it gets mighty serious and the biggest fat-cats start to feel the heat so a review is set up. These reviews are usually conducted by the same people who created the problems in the first place - little in the way of anything neutral - and the investigators are chosen from the bureaucracy itself. I have lived through so many of these bureaucratic reactions that it has become a complete joke. We already know the result - a new bureaucracy hell-bent on saving itself at all costs.

The clever thing that the new bureaucracy carries out if the formation of consultative committees made up of those who are their most fervent critics. These committees act in two ways:

(a) they give the bureaucracy a supposed clear conscience because it looks like they are listening to the major players in the whole scheme of things (coaches and athletes).

(b) gets the pressure off them and buys them time.

What I have started to see in the last few decades is the arrival of the same kind of bureaucracy in Sports Science, Sports Medicine, Regional School Sport, Coaching and other related services.

It makes me proud to know so many volunteer coaches who are the real glue to the sports they support and the athletes they coach. They hearten me each time they make a forward step despite the bureaucracy. I can only offer the advice that no matter how grievously disappointed you get with the bureaucracy, now and in the decades to come, keep on taking that next step, continue to show resilience and fortitude while you battle away. It is your battling and overcoming the adversity that the bureaucracy create that will keep you going.

You deserve better so be self-sufficient in getting better; don't wait for anyone to help you. Keep taking that next step. Your athletes will recognise your tenacity and fortitude - valuable lessons they need to learn.”

Regular readers of this blog will be aware, I have warned of this phenomenon of 'Empire-Building' before. The example I use is of my late father's career as a National Coal Board manager. He was appointed Area Transport Superintendent with the formation of the NCB in 1948. He was responsible for the transport – road and rail, the Coal Board having taken over one of the largest internal railway systems in the UK here in Ayrshire. With the aid of a foreman and access to a typist in the area typing pool, he had to look after 40 collieries, one main workshops and stores complex, plus two sub-area sites.

When he retired 20 years later, the area had shrunk to two active collieries and the main workshhops/stores complex, but, he had the assistance of: one foreman, two charge hands, a full-time clerk and a full-time typist. “But, I don't think it worked as well as when it was just Joe (the original foreman) and Me,” he said.

He never wanted all the additional staff, but, he had to have them, because other managers of his rank had that many staff. That's “Empire Building” at work.

In rugby, just look at how the SRU's staff numbers and costs have risen over the past decade and more. This confirms our Australian friend's point about 'Career Sporting Beaurocrats.

Give people such as TCD, L-LB, J Cheever Loophole and the Head Elf an inch and they will take a mile. I keep stressing this and pointing-out where we have gone wrong within the SRU.

THE SRU is not a limited company, or a common or garden commercial entity – it is a co-operative of like-minded people. These stakeholders are THE CLUBS.

It ought to be a case of what the clubs say goes, but, certainly over the Dodson Years, we have seen the voice of the clubs either ignored or stilled. It's our fault, we have elected a series of officials who have allowed themselves to be brow-beaten by TCD & Co, so that, rather as should happen – the elected officials tell the paid officials what they want to see happening – we have a situation whereby: the paid officials make the decisions and what they want is what happens.

Until we end this unacceptable management model and put the clubs and their elected representatives back in charge, we will never see change and improvements.

These are the facts – now clubs, what are you going to do about changing things?

Back To Basics Week

AS THE fall-out from Finngate spreads over Scottish Rugby, like the aftermatch of a small nuclear explosion, we have a chance of some light relief this week end, with a full programme of club games, before we get back to 'Sport as War' and the resumption of the Guinness Six Nations next weekend.

Things get going tonight, with Glasgow Warriors entertaining Zebre at Scotstoun in the Guinness PRO14, kick-off 7.35pm. The big draw here is Leone Nakarawa's first home game since rejoining Warriors, and if that doesn't bring out a few extra bodies, on what looks like being a drich nicht, nothing will.

Dave Rennie has named an interesting squad for the game, with three of the starting XV – hooker George Turner, flanker Thomas Gordon and scrum-half George Horne released from the Scotland squad to gain some match time.

Oli Kebble switching to tight-head is an interesting move

It is interesting to see Oli Kebble moving across to the tight-head side of the scrum, perhaps this is a portent of what might happen when he qualifies for Scotland in the summer. With WP Nel's star seemingly on the wane and Simon Berghan getting a bit of a doing when he was sent on against England, and with D'Arcy Rae still injured and Edinburgh's Murray McCallum seemingly treading water – we do appear light in the crucial number three shirt at Scotland level.

The Glasgow squad as ever in 1-23 order) is:

Aki Seiuli, George Turner, Oli Kebble, Rob Harley, Leone Nakarawa, Ryan Wilson (Captain), Thomas Gordon, Matt Fagerson; George Horne, Peter Horne, DTH van der Merwe, Stafford McDowall, Nick Grigg, Tommy Seymour, Glenn Bryce: Replacements: Mesu Dolokoto, Alex Allan, Adam Nicol, Tim Swinson, Chris Fusaro; Jamie Dobie, Ruaridh Jackson, Kyle Stern.

EDINBURGH are in West Wales tomorrow, where they face Scarlets in the Saturday, 3pm kick-off match. At the time of writing, the Edinburgh squad has notbeen named.

WE ALSO have, spread over three days this weekend, the penultimate round of games in the regular season of the FOSROC Super6 competition.

The action kicks-off tonight at Myreside, at 7.30pm, with table-topping Watsonians entertaining second-placed Heriot's. Edinburgh is also the place to be tomorrow, Saturday, with Boroughmuir Bears, who prop-up the table, entertaining third-placed Ayrshire Bulls. The action at Meggetland gets under way at 4pm.

Finally, in Sunday's televised match, at The Greenyards, kick-off 2pm, fourth-placed Southern Knights play host to the team immediately below them in the table, Stirling County.

I've got a wee notion, the Knights just might be the only home team to win this weekend.

IN A full Tennent's Premiership programme, I fancy the key game just might be up there in Aberdeen, where Aberdeen Grammar are entertaining second-top Currie Chieftains.

Grammar are always hard to beat at home and they have a real cfhance of denting Currie's hopes of a home semi-final. A Grammar win will certainly be welcomed by third-placed Hawick, who have their sights set on overhauling the Malleny Park men to take second spot themselves.

The Green Machine is in Glasgow, facing Hawks, who desperately need the points to get away from the basement battle. This one looks like being a dour, arm-wrestle at Balgray.

Table-topping Marr are in Edinburgh tomorrow, facing Edinbrugh Academical in a top v bottom clash. On paper, the visitors will be expected to win this one, but, they may have to show the same bloody-mindedness as they had to demonstrate at Highland in their last game, in the Scottish Cup, to subdue an Accies side fighting for their lives.

The other two fixtures pit Musselburgh against Selkirk, and Jed-forest against GHA.

Of course, that's the situation on Friday morning. What it will be by this time tomorrow morning, nobody knows, but, given the weather forecast, I would be very surprised if all these matches, and many of the others further down club rugby's food chain, are still on. It's that time of year folks.

Until The End Of The Six Nations, Gregor Townsend Is The Only Possible Winner Of Finngate

THE SQUABBLE between Gregor Townsend and Finn Russell which has become the lasting fall-out of 'Finngate' is now, officially, a big story.

John Greechan, one of the leading red top rottweilers of Scottish sports journalism (although his employers at the Daily Mail will baulk at being dubbed a 'red top,' - true blue Tories that they are) has lifted his eyes from his usual Old Firm beat – to pontificate (if a leading member of 'The Lap Top Loyal' can be accused of pontificating) on the issue.

Given Mr Greechan's track record, I am not confident of anything useful coming out of his full page rant, although, I have to agree with the gist of the headline: nobody (other than perhaps the SFA) mishandles a presumed crisis with quite the cack-handed ineptitude of the SRU.

The facts are these:

• As things stand, Gregor Towsend is Scotland Head Coach
• Finn Russell is not currently a member of the Scotland international squad
• That squad is chosen by Gregor Townsend

Townsend, therefore, holds all the aces. Clearly the pair have fallen out. If Finn Russell wants to be allowed back into the national squad, he has to make the move to break the deadlock

For as long as Townsend enjoys the confidence of the SRU's high heid yins, what he says goes, and Finn Russell will remain on the outside, looking in.

The BRING BACK FINN clique would do well to reflect on this fact. I feel Finn will need to eat a good fill of humble pie before he gets a chance to perhaps win back the number ten shirt. Let's move on.

YESTERDAY'S announcement from Twickenham, that the RFU was cutting th4eir annual subsidy to the clubs in their second tier – The Greene King IPA Championship from its current £530,000 per season to £280,000 has serious repercussions for the clubs in that division, which include London Scottish.

Some have seen this as evidence of HQ helping to ring fence their Gallagher Premiership, and perhaps even signalling a distinct lack of interest in any level of rugby below that which gets the media attention and attracts the big money.

(A wee aside here – I noticed last week, that Gallagher, who sponsor the top flight in England, has its corporate headquarters in Glasgow – just saying).

The word from Twickenham is that the Championship does not produce future England players, hence the cut in funding.

In this, they are following the lead of the S|RU, who have cut back on their funding of the grass roots club game, instead, starting-up Super6. Now, while I can see the benefits of S6, I still hae ma doots about it, simply because, I would not trust the current Murrayfield regime to run a bath, but, let's give S6 time to bed-in.

Any way, back to the English announcement. Might this be the right time for the SRU to get round the table with London Scottish and set them up properly as our much-needed third full-time pro side, playing in an expanded PRO14?

I am sure Guinness would relish having a PRO14 presence in London, and am quite certain, Scottish could really attract some very good sponsors if they were playing in such a high profile league.

Of course, setting this up would be costly, but, with CVC coming on board – if not now, when? I feel this is worth following-up on.

`Time For A Bit Of Lateral Thinking

WHEN YOU have lived through as many “Disaster for Scotland” games as I have, the likes of Saturday's result is just one more in a long list.

We have a good year about as often as England lets us have an Independence Referendum – that's once in a generation (assuming a generation to be around 25 years). So, we are due a good year shortly, but you don't need 20:20 vision to know, it will not be this year.

So, what do we do? Do we sack Gregor Townsend and his back-room staff? Do we hand the thing over to player power? Or do we grin and bear it? Decisions, decisions.

Some are suggesting it's all down to Finn v Toony; get these two mavericks singing off the same hymn sheet and all will be well. I am not so certain Finn would have turned defeat into victory on Saturday. It simply wasn't a day for the things Finn does better than anyone else – the long, looping pass to take out most of the midfield defenders, the kick passes or chip kicks to get behind the defensive line.

We didn't lose on Saturday because we were minus Finn Russell's genius – we lost on Saturday because we lost the breakdown battle. It wasn't as if our pack played badly, they probably played as well as they could – certainly as well as they were allowed to. England simply out-muscled and out-thought us up front, and, when the piano shifters are in reverse gear, there is never much the piano players can do to mitigate circumstances.

For me, it's the whole Scottish rugby system that is wrong, and that is not going to change, or be changed in any positive way, any time soon.

Quite simply, we are not making enough of our strengths, and not doing enough to overcome our weaknesses.

Back in the amateur days, we maybe didn't do as well as we might wish in the Five Nations, as it was then – but, were arguably more-competitive than we are today.

Back then England selected their international team from the leading Counties in their County Championships. When Warwickshire were going well, for instance, you would find a clutch of Coventry and Moseley players in the England XV. If Lancashire was rampant, Sale, Broughton Park and Fylde had England players.

A good season for Surrey or Middlesex and Harlequins, Rosslyn Park, Blackheath and Saracens got players into the England team, and so forth.

Wales, back in the day, selected their side from their top teams in what was then a flourishing club game, while Ireland, then as now, based national team selection on which Provinces were playing best.

Scotland used the Inter-District Championship as the basis for picking the national team. Anglo-Scots, Edinburgh, Glasgow, North and Midlands and South each picked their District sides form their top clubs, before the national selectors got a chance to see the best go head-to-head over the championship season.

So, basically, back then while England, Ireland and Wales had more clubs from which to choose, England, when the international season came along, were basically picking from a dozen or so squads, Wales from roughly the same, Ireland from four squads and Scotland from five.

Today, England is still picking from a dozen squads – albeit theser are now “club sides”; Ireland are still picking from four, Wales from four but Scotland from two. Now, it might be argued that Wales and Scotland have given themselves less choice; however, the contrary argument might be – they have stacked their available talent in fewer squads.

There is an argument for Scotland going back to at least four “District” squads – but, does anyone really believe we could afford to fund four full-time professional squads? In any case, since the SRU cannot afford to fund more squads, there has not exactly been a rush of would-be investors prepared to step in and make up the fiscal deficit.

As things stand, Gregor Townsend is working with a 38-strong national squad. In addition there are a further 18 capped players, earning a living as full-time professional rugby players – giving us a potential international pool of 58 players – 16 of whom are playing outside Scotland.

The 23-man squad for Saturday included 19 home-based players and four “ex-pats.” Excluding the guys such as John Barclay and Greig Laidlaw who have officially retired from international rugby, we currently have over 50 capped Scottish players playing in one or other of Europe's top three leagues.

Forty of these players are full-time SRU employees, playing for either Edinburgh or Glasgow. Therefore, there is nothing to stop Gregor Townsend from having as much access to these 40 players as he and his back-room staff think they need.

Reality is, the two PRO14 sides are there to provide the highest possible level of rugby for our internationalists – Townsend, rather than Cockerill or Rennie, should be saying when these guys play – they are centrally-contracted, the SRU should be making the big decisions.

Are we making the most of the control the Union has? I think not. Townsend should be telling Cockerill and Rennie:

• Here is the system we will be playing to
• Your guys will also play to this system
• Your job is to provide me with Scotland-ready players

I appreciate adopting a “Scotland First” system would demand a bit more thought as to player use. Deciding which are the big games – for which the sides have to be loaded with internationalists, and so forth.

But, if we use the central control which the SRU enjoys properly, then we could have the Scotland squad training together at least once a week, getting familiar with each other and becoming really slick and comfortable with each other.

We may not have the choice which Eddie Jones enjoys, but, our smaller numbers could well become an advantage with familiarity.

I am convinced, we have the talent, but, we are not making the best use of it. Time to change.

They Did Great Things Against The Auld Enemy

And when that great scorer comes – to write against your name

He asks you not, who won nor lost – but – Did You Beat England?

Fellow lovers of the absurd will recognise these two lines above as the great Max Boyce's alternative take on Gartland Rice, a couplet which does rather sum-up the other five nations' take on the Guinness Six Nations.

They will arrive in their chariots on Saturday afternoon, determined to put these uppity “Sweaties” in their place, and remind us, yet again – we are a poor, colonised people, who should be grateful to be allowed to share our island with the Master Race.

We, meanwhile, accept having the English for neighbours is God's way of attempting to compensate for the many bounteous gifts She bestowed on Scotland.

We are also told, at our grandmothers' knee – glorious deeds against England qualify us for a special seta, at God's right hand, in the hereafter, so, over the many years of Scotland v England rugby internationals, who would get into our First XV, by virtue of extra-special endeavour in this match. Here, in 1-15 order is my XV.

David Sole – obvious really, leading that walk-on in 1990 set the tone for the day.

Quinton Dunlop – two caps in eight days, both against England, both victories. That is some international record.

Tom Elliot – denied a match-winning, Calcutta Cup and Triople Crown-clnching try at Twickenham in 1955 by one of the biggest refereeing blunders of all time. This is his consolation prize.

Tom Smith – for his try at Twickenham in 1983, the last time we won down there.

John Beattie – for having the balls to thump Wayde Dooley and kick-off a huge Scottish win at Murrayfield in 1986.

Fin Calder – for that charge straight to the heart of the English pack in 1990. A declaration of war if ever you saw one.

Jim Telfer – for his Man of the Match, two tries display in 1964. That was his playing Everest.

Peter Brown – for his overall display, not least his conversion of Chris Rea's try, at Twickenham in 1971.

Alan Lawson – for his two tries at Murrayfield in 1976. An excellent game from Alan, but, these two tries are perhaps more memorable, as arguably Bill McLaren's finest piece of commentary. His heart must have been bursting as he watched his son-in-law do the business, but, “The Voice” never missed a beat.

Wilson Shaw – Twickenham 1938 and, that match-winning try.

Ian Smith – Scotland's all-time leading try scorer has to get into the team, and does so on the back of his two tries n Scotland's 21-13 win in the Calcutta Cup match of 1927.

Chris Rea – for his try in 1971 at Twickenham, which set-up Peter Brown for his match-winning conversion.

John Frame – for his very early try in the Centenary International, one week later, which kicked-off a wonderful day. The highlight of a great Scottish performance.

Tony Stanger – That try in 1990, need I say more.

Andy Irvine – The great man had many great games for Scotland, but, he was perhaps never better in dark blue than in 1974, when he contributed 12 points, from a try, two penalties – including the match-winning one, and a conversion, to Scotland's 16-14 victory.

Andy Irvine in action in 19 76.

Others may have differing views on who ought to get into the team, and why. But, these are my views, different ones welcome. And, how great would it be if someone else fought their way into this team with glorious deeds on Saturday.