WE
are as yet, some way away from: “Weel, ye ken noo,” but we ken
noo the identities of the 12 clubs willing to “bet the farm,” as
our American cousins have it, on the pending disaster that I call
Stupid 6.
Six o' ye are doomed - is Fraser's message for the 12 applicants
Ayr,
Boroughmuir, Currie, Dundee, Edinburgh Academicals, Gala, Glasgow
Hawks, Hawick, Heriot's, Melrose, Stirling County and
Watsonians have
thrown their hats into the ring to be handed the poisoned chalice
which is a five-year franchise to run a semi-professional rugby team
at the new super-duper pinnacle of the club game in Scotland.
Pardon
the pessimism, my “We're awe doomed,” Private Fraser impression;
but, there is no way that I can see whereby this hare-brained scheme
can work. I maintain my initial impression, formed last night when
the “lucky” dozen applicants were named – the really lucky ones
will be the six whose bid fails the forensic scrutiny of Chairman Sir Bill Gammell
and his selection board of sportscotland high heid yin Stewart
Harris, National Coach Gregor Townsend and Murrayfield “suits”:
the Ayatollah Dodson, head bean counter Andrew Healy, Technical
Director Stephen Gemmell and Head of Women's and Girls' Rugby Gemma
Fay.
Bill Gammell, several £billions ago
Quite
the best first reaction I have seen came from a “below the line
commenter” - “RayCCB”, who commented on The Scotsman's story
this morning about the “Deluded Dozen.” He commented: “As
a shrewd and successful businessman and entrepreneur, I fully expect
Bill Gamell to look at the accounts of the majority of these bidders
and ask what the hell are they playing at! “
I'm
with you there Ray.
When the
Ayatollah announced the Stupid 6 notion, at the end of a somewhat
fractious AGM back in August, his vision was of one franchise in each
of the traditional Districts – North and Midlands, Edinburgh,
Glasgow and the South, plus two “floaters”. (I rather like the
notion of “floaters”, because the whole thing is shite) to me.
The initial impression was that there would be a North Franchise, a
Midlands one, and that Ayr, who were always seen as probable bidders
would take-on a franchise based on SWARC, Bill Nolan's
forward-looking South-West Area Rugby Clubs; leaving someone else,
probably Hawks, to take-on the Glasgow franchise.
Melrose were
always seen as the likely standard-bearers in the South, while the
rumours of an alternative multi-club bid to revive something akin to
the old “South of Scotland” team of the amateur era have been
still-born. Then there was Edinburgh; what was likely to happen there
was anyone's guess.
My heart goes
out to the board tasked with picking the six final franchise winners.
There are more questions to be answered than obvious solutions, and,
I fear they will be damned if they do and damned if they do nothing.
For a start –
the good folk in Aberdeen, perhaps demonstrating the Granite City's
long-held reputation as canny with their cash have done the sums and
said: “No thank you.” Now, this might have something to do with
the impression abroad that the clubs up there do not get on. I'd like
to think, they saw this scheme as flawed. But, Aberdeen has long been
seen as the place the SRU wanted a presence. For years there have
been hopes of the longed-for third full-time professional side being
based there. Now, when push has come to shove – the oil capital of
Europe cannot even support a part-time professional club.
Potential conflicts of interest
But, let's
look at the composition of the review board. Chairman Gammell of
course, won his Scotland caps out of Heriot's FP. This compromises
his independence when it comes to judging that club's bid. Harris,
although his sporting background is in basketball rather than rugby,
is a Dundonian; this is Scotland, cue: “Aye, he'll be backing the
Dundee bid.”
Townsend is,
as we all know, a “Braw Lad” of Gala, further grounds for
accusations of bias there, while Dodson has so much personal prestige
riding on making this plan work, well – can we be sure he will be
listening when the flaws in the plan start to become obvious?
Five of the
twelve bids are from Edinburgh clubs. I cannot see any way whereby
the capital's rugby public can support one full-time PRO14 team, plus
two part-time franchises. There are questions of pitch usage over
several of the bids. I can see some clubs being initially pissed-off
when their bids are rejected, but, for me, they will be the lucky
ones.
Then there is
the nest of vipers which is the Borders. Three big clubs have bid,
and two of them look likely to be disappointed. Who gets the short
straw job of telling them?
On paper, Ayr
look to have the strongest bid, however, they will have to spend a
lot of money on infrastructure, and while, I am certain the canny
Billy McHarg has done his homework, and reckons he will be able to
jemmy the additional funds he believes need to be released to make
things work from the Murrayfield coffers, nothing is certain.
There are
already doubts over the financial viability of the Hawks and County
bids, ditto the ambitious Dundee bid, where, as elsewhere, the
tribalism of Scottish rugby clubs will come into play.
I simply
cannot see how the many pitfalls, real and imagined, which stand
between the basic notion of six “super” clubs and having these
clubs playing, can be overcome.
A bridge too far
OK, it may
well be, as a bridge between the “amateur” club game and the
professional game at PRO14 level, the current Premiership does not
work – I accept that. But, I repeat the question I have been asking
since August – is it the Premiership's job to be this? I see the
Premiership's “job” as being the platform for Scotland's best
non-professional players to perform on, and, as such it works.
For me, taking
the raw promise of young players and polishing these diamonds is the
job of the SRU's Performance Department. Not every player they take
on in the raw state makes it – the Premiership provides them with a
safety net. A very few of these thrive, develop later and can go back
to the professional game. Most play contentedly away in the
Premiership.
Asking six
clubs to risk the “farm” on doing a job the Performance
Department should be doing is just not on for me. This scheme will
fail, and the cost of failure will be huge.






