Devolution Has Failed In Politics, But Might Work In Rugby

I HAVE, over my decades in the trenches of sports-writing, covered 54 different sports, but mainly Football and Rugby Union. Right now, in three-quarters retirement, I mainly make observations on the handling game, but find it particularly interesting to note the differences in governance between the two football codes.

I would, at this juncture, immediately pay tribute to my old mate Bill Lothian, the now retired former Rugby Union correspondent of the Edinburgh Evening News. Bill recently made a telling contribution with a statement of what was not the obvious, to a BTL (below the lines) comments thread on The Offside Line.

Bill simply pointed-out: it is not the job of the governing body to run the club game.

That simple statement points out one of the major weaknesses of The Scottish Rugby Union – the centralisation, what Murrayfield says goes.

I can accept the SRU controlling the full and age group international teams – the Union does after all own Edinburgh and Glasgow. But, in Football, each league is self-governing, the various levels of clubs are all self-governing; yes, the clubs get some degree of financial support from the Scottish Football Association, but, by and large, each league, or each minor association, raises their own finances.

Queen's Park, in the days when they were truly Amateur, perhaps came closest to mirroring a Rugby Union club – having players within the organisation aged from schoolboys up to adults playing in the top leagues. OK, today many Football clubs, even in Scotland, have their Academies, but, these are elitist entities, quite unlike the everyone welcome ethos of your local Rugby Union club.

In football, you have truly grass-roots boys and girls clubs, mostly playing in public parks, run entirely by volunteers, including a good number of parents – covering youngsters up to the end of their teen-aged years, and in a few cases up to the age of 21.

Then you have the adult amateur clubs. Some of the longer-established and better run have their own grounds, but mostly, again, they play on public parks. The next level up is the old Junior Football tier; semi-professional clubs, their players a mixture of youngsters on the way up, and old-stagers on the way down.

Above them, you have the two regional leagues – The Highland League and The Lowland League, sitting just below the four Senior Leagues of The Scottish Professional Football League – SPFL.

Even here, there is a huge gulf between East Kilbride, the new boys in League Two and Rangers and Celtic, the perennial serial winners in the top division.

Whether it is the elected officials in the Club Rugby Board, or the paid administrators who apparently work mainly for Scottish rugby Limited, I feel we are asking the SRU's “Civil Service/Government” to do too much and cover too-many bases. Yes, there is a case for giving the fewest number of people management oversight, as against having too-many specialists, but, I feel the problem with the SRU remains over-centralisation.

Just supposing Murrayfield devolved management of our game, how might it look?

• Tier One: The international sides, the full Scotland sides – Men and Women; A or B teams – which we should think of bringing back and Age Group sides – plus the two full-time Professional sides and a third professional side, either a full-time Sevens squad or a third URC team – fully under the control of Murrayfield

• Tier Two: A two-division truly National League, limited to 20 clubs: managed by the clubs but subjected to financial and infrastructure constraints agreed between the clubs and the SRU

• Tier Three: Five Regional Leagues – Edinburgh, Midlands, North, South and West. Again, management of each Regional League would be devolved to the clubs within each Region, but, as a general rule, each division of each league would be a ten-club one

• Tier Four – Age group Rugby.

Here, I feel there is something to be said for the way Rugby Union does things. In football, while – as I said further up this piece - the SPFL clubs all have Academies, looking after the elite boys they have recruited, even your lowest-ranked Rugby Union club has progression from the youngest Mini-Rugby players through to adult level. In Rugby Union you don't have the stand-alone boys clubs you find in Football – this I think is a good thing.

I honestly feel, central funding from the SRU to clubs should be restricted to two areas, insurance coverage for players and youth development and coaching; other than these two areas, the clubs should do their own fund-raising. The various leagues as outlined above, should also do their own fund-raising and have their own management teams – either voluntary, or in the case of the top club tier (Tier Two) – involving a small secretariat.

The Player Pathway must, of course, come under the SRU bailiewick. Get talking to England, Ireland and Wales, at least, and perhaps some of the European countries; then reinstate the Club XV, but, make it generally an Under-23 team, insisting at least seven or eight players on the field at any one time should be U-23.

That team would by and large be drawn from the National League clubs, although stand-out Regional League players should not be discriminated against. The best Regional League players should be playing in a re-established Inter-Regional Championship, again with the sides selected along the lines of Under-23s first.

These suggestions are “Broad Brush” ones – we really need to work a lot harder and a lot cleverer to keep Scottish Rugby in the forefront of our sport.

 

It's All About Henry The Eight - But Jack Was More Than All Right - While Finn Simply Did Finn Things

LIONS v WESTERN FORCE went as I expected it to; some early hiccups, before the Lions pulled clear in the final quarter. Of course it was a bit of a curate's egg, there is still work to do, but, it was a satisfying start.

It is too early to write players in or out of the Test XV, but, looking at the performances of the Scottish players who were involved, I would say:

• Pierre Schoeman – has some work to do if he is to be involved in the Tests. As things stand, he looks still like the third-choice loose-head

• Scott Cummings – ditto, did little wrong, although he has been criticised for his part in some kick-off reception uncertainty; needs more game time

• Finn Russell – wrap him in cotton wool and only bring him out for the big games. He was immediately in charge of things, produced some moments of magic and will surely be the Test 10

• Sione Tuipulotu – linked well at 12, did some good things and on this form ought to be in the Test XV

• Huw Jones – good to see him back off the bench and straight into doing Shuggie things, running great lines. The centres' selection battle will be very-interesting

Sky Sports' cringe-worthy Henry Pollock love-in continued. Yes, he's a good player, but he is far from being the finished article Fleet Street is trying to build him into. Much of the coverage so far gives the impression this is “The Henry Pollock Tour”. I sense some of the more larakin Aussies he will encounter, further down the road, are looking forward to meeting him.

Of the non-Scots, I thought Joe McCarthy's Man of the Match award was really justified, Elliot Daly impressed at full-back, the Irish wingers played well while the forwards who came off the bench all did a real Bomb Squad job.

The guys who come in against Queensland Reds in midweek now have a big job to do to impress.

I WANTED to enjoy the Barbarians v South Africa game, from Cape Town, however, after the build-up, five minutes of the “the Springboks are all supermen and wonderful with it” commentary was too much for me, and I baled out.

THE BEST was saved until last – the Top 14 Final, between Toulouse and UBB; we even got a bonus of 20 minutes of extra time, before the outstanding Thomas Ramos finally hauled Toulouse over the line.

Henry Pollock's Fleet Street cheer-leaders probably missed this one. Their loss, had they watched it, all the superlatives being used on young Master Pollock would have been seen for the rubbish they are. Because the best back rower in Europe was on-view for Toulouse – England exile Jack Willis. He gave a fantastic display, if there is a back row vacancy in the Lions party, they really ought to call him up – he's that good. That said, we should be thankful RFU selection criteria means, for as long as he plays in France, he will not be picked for England.

Ramos was terrific, while, playing on the wing, Blair Kinghorn caught the eye a few times, as did, on the other side, Damien Penaud. Over the 100 minutes plus, I felt Toulouse edged it, but, they were made to work for what was their 24^th French title, by the European Champions. This game really proved, the Top 14 is the best league in world rugby.

 

No Press - The SRU Just Might Be Happy

FORTY YEARS ago, in the Summer of 1985, I took a punt and agreed to, as a freelance, cover the Scotland Rugby Tour to North America. The touring party, under Manager Doug Masson and Coaches Colin Telfer and Derrick Grant and the Captaincy of David Leslie played matches in Victoria, Vancouver Island; Vancouver, Seattle, Edmonton and Calgary. It is now referred to as: “The Forgotten Tour”. Needless to say, touring Omerta applies: “What went on on-tour, stayed on tour”; but, those of us on it had a ball.

Back in 1985, the Press Party – in the phrase of the time: “With but not of the Scotland touring party” consisted of the late Bill McMurtrie, covering for the then Glasgow Herald Group, and Me, covering for everyone else – even the Daily Rhanger was taking daily epistles, phoned-in from North America. We travelled everywhere with the party, sitting, with “the Blazers” who included SRU President Hamish Kemp, at the front of the team bus. It worked very well.

Yesterday, the Scotland Party flew out of Edinburgh on the Skyscanner Summer Tour. No Scottish press representatives were flying with them – that is how much Rugby Union has fallen from grace among the bean counters who now dictate what you might read about, see, or hear about in the nation's greatly-reduced mainstream media. Some Zoom calls have been arranged through Murrayfield for the duration of the Tour, and I dare say, some of the bigger media groups will have arranged local coverage through contacts in New Zealand, but, the truth is, the Scottish Rugby public is being short-changed.

BBC Shortbread has sent Tom English to Australia tocover the Lions' Tour. Pardon me, but surely Pacific Quay should be covering the Scotland Tour, leaving the Lions to the big boys in London?

For all the sterling efforts of David Barnes and The Offside Line team, our game is not being covered as well and as deeply as it deserves to be and I honestly worry about the future of our game; because it needs a vibrant press corps, keeping the blazers on-track and honest and that isn't happening.

What we will get back from this year's tour is “The Authorised Version”, via the SRU Communications Team, a bunch who – with at most two or three exceptions – could not have spotted the story had they been travelling on Titanic. We need hand-off rather than hands-on coverage, we are not going to get it.

Back in the 1950s, when I first got into Rugby Union, Lions Tours were generally covered by a three-man press pack, JBG Thomas looked at the Tour from a distinctly Welsh perspective, while his countryman, Vivian Jenkins and Terry O'Connor looked after everyone else – this trio were so-good, the agencies and the papers, other than their principal employers knew they could trust them for freelance coverage – and it worked.

By the 1970s and 1980s the press pack had expanded, Bill McMurtrie had a virtual team photograph of the press pack from one Lions' Tour to New Zealand which he covered. This meant that while Thomas, Jenkins and O'Connor could travel in the team bus, by the time Bill & Co were travelling, the press corps needed their own coach and by the time of the last New Zealand Tour, in 2017, they even had unpaid interns such as Ayr RFC's Callum Kerr along for the ride and posting social media stuff.

What I have been reading about the current Tour to Australia, there's been another subtle – or not so subtle – change, everything we get from the Tour has to be spun to suit the agenda of what we must still call: “Fleet Street”; i.e. this is, as the mainstream media sees it, an England tour with some Celts along for company.

There is a lot of hype about English wunderkindt Henry Pollock. Now, young Henry is clearly a decent player, or he would not have been picked. However, like so-many English players, he's not nearly as good as their media cheer-leaders have built him up to be. I don't see him as a Test starter, he will have to elbow his way past a few more-experienced and equally-skilled operator to get either the 6 or 7 jersey for the Tests. Still, this will not prevent the English media from bigging him up.

By the way, I did find myself nodding in agreement with the BTL commenter on The Guardian's website who put the Lions' loss in Dublin down to: “Farrell selecting too-many average Englishmen”. Although, I must admit, Ellis Genge has come on as a scrummager over the closing weeks of this season and is no longer the scrum liability he was.

A TIP for a team to watch this season – keep your eyes on Cumnock. My old club may have missed-out, for the moment, on persuading oor ain Mark Bennett to finish his playing career back where it started – he will be playing in France next season, but, they have surely won a watch, by appointing Bruce Ruthven to become their new Head Coach, succeeding Steve Rabey, who is now part of the coaching group at Marr.

 

Bruce has moved to live in Prestwick and is keen to be involved with a grass-roots club. The early signs are good, the players and the club management team are enthused. Who knows, I might yet live to see Cumnock in the National Leagues.

RUTHVEN'S ARRIVAL at Broomfield is just one of several interesting new appointments in God's County. Gordy Reid has accepted what we hear on the County grapevine is: “silly money” to become Director of Rugby at Kilmarnock. Up the coast a bit, at Ardrossan, Craig Redpath is back in Coaching with Ardrossan Academicals, while we hear of other interesting appointments coming up elsewhere.

 

The Establishment Orders

ONE OF THE near-constants of the Scottish Independence Movement is a dislike, going as far as hatred, of the United Kingdom's honours system. It is ludicrous that people are still made Members (MBE), Officers (OBE), Commanders (CBE) or Knights (KBE) of a British Empire which hasn't existed for my lifetime. Or, if their level of public service isn't considered that great, awarded the BEM – the British Empire Medal.

The Order of the British Empire is the commonest order in the labyrinth of the nation's Honours System.This also includes sects such as the top tier – The Order of the Garter, The Order of the Thistle The Order of Merit and The Companions of Honour – all honours which only go to a select few at any time.

Then there are the mainly Civil Service or Royal Household Orders: The Order of the Bath, The Order of St Michael and St George and so on. The top level of that one, the Knight Grand Cross (GCMG) is known in Whitehall as: “God Calls Me God”, so elevated are the holders of this particular bauble. For further proof of a sense of humour existing in Whitehall, it might be noted than when he retired from the role of James Bond 007. actor Daniel Craig received not the CBE awarded to other actors of equal standing, but was made CMG – the same medal ficticiously awarded to Commander Bond.

The Honours System is a bit of a thorn in the side of the Independence Movement, because you can bet, if Independence for Scotland ever happens – there will still be one up here. I can see the elitist Order of the Thistle expanding greatly.

OK, I have (hopefully) tweaked your interest long enough, time to expand to where I am going here. I noted that yesterday, former England Football Manager Gareth Southgate became Sir Gareth, while Welsh Rugby Union legend Gerald Davies became Sir Gerald. Now you will get not complaints from me about these two gentlemen “getting their K”, both have done the hard yards, got the CDs and the tee-shirts, and I genuinely congratulate both on the honour.

But, it does show how the Honours System is slanted against the lesser nations of this so-called United Kingdom. Southgate is the fourth former England football manager to be knighted – only two past Scotland bosses have had the tap of the royal sword on his shoulders and, had Alex Ferguson never left Scotland for Manchester, but still won the same number of domestic and European trophies he did, I am willing to bet, at best he would have got a CBE rather than a knighthood.

I can remember how, after Celtic won the European Cup in 1967, The British Establishment decided Manager Jock Stein – the mastermind behind that ground-breaking win – wasn't the right sort to become a knight, so they gave the K to Celtic Chairman Robert Kelly.

Both Stein and Kelly came from Blantyre, both had played for Blantyre Victoria, the difference was, Stein had left school at 14 to go down the pit, Kelly was a public school-educated stockbroker.

Just one year after Celtic's Lisbon triumph, Manchester United won the same trophy and The Establishment rushed to knight their Manager. Having left school in Bellshill to go down the pit wasn't an impediment to honouring Matt Busby.

But, this is a Rugby Union blog, so, let's stick to how poorly the Scottish Rugby Union does in the annual honours jamboree. We currently have one knighted figure from Rugby Union – the Anglo-Scot Sir Ian McGeechan, honoured more for his work with the British and Irish Lions than with Scotland. I would ask, given the fact the likes of Gerald Davies, Gareth Edwards, Bill Beaumont and Clive Woodward have all got their K – how come Gavin Hastings, Andy Irvine, Gavin Hastings and Jim Telfer, to name just four worthy Scottish contenders, haven't yet got theirs.

And, while I am at it – how come Ulster's Willie-John McBride has only got a CBE and another wonderful Ulster player, Mike Gibson only has an MBE?

The British Honours system stinks and hopefully, when we eventually break away from the English and their obsession with class, the Scottish one will be better and fairer.

A final thought – the most-likely former Rugby Union internationalist to be knighted next is surely Mike Tindall, who had the foresight to marry into the correct family.

BACK IN THE DAY, when sport was sport and not a sub-branch of the entertainment industry, the biggest show in town in these islands was the arrival of the Australian Cricket Team. Their tour normally kicked-off with a match against The Duke of Norfolk's XI at His Grace's Arundel Castle ground on his Sussex estate.

From 1930 until his death in the 1970s, the wonderfully-named Bernard Marmaduke Fitzalan-Howard, 16^th Duke of Norfolk and Earl Marschal of England would put together a scratch team, a mix of promising youngsters and England and County Cricket regulars, to introduce the tourists to English conditions.

On his death, his widow, Lavinia, Duchess of Norfolk, kept the tradition going, but, it has now fallen by the wayside.

In Rugby Union, the major touring teams: All Blacks, Springboks, Wallabies in the Amateur era, were accorded similar recognition, kicking off their long traditional tours with an “on-paper easy fixture” against opponents unlikely to be such rude hosts as to win.

Then the bean counters got involved and the old certainties were banished. Thus we had the nonsense of The British and Irish Lions v Japan in 2021 and v Argentina last week.

Abroad, the Lions used to get an on-paper easy fixture to kick-off their tours. It might be implied that Western Force, their first opponents in Australia this year is an easy opener – I am not so sure. I still don't, other than generating money and selling a few more replica strips and merchandise, see the point of last week's Dublin game.

I also note, the Lions party, including coaches, physiotherapists, video analysts, strength and conditioning staff etc, is this year some 91 strong.

Maybe the British Empire is still functioning, in British sport. Certainly some sporting empires are being administered this summer.

 

Grounds For Complaint

IN THE HIGHLY UNLIKELY event that Scotland ever breaks away from England to become an adult, grown-up, Independent country, what I will be talking about here just might happen. However, what I have learned about Scottish political and sporting governance in my 78 years and counting on this earth leads me to believe – I will certainly never see it – and in any case, The Scottish Establishment will most-likely never allow it.

Fully-formed nations nearly all have a National Stadium, usually in their capital city; this is where their national sports teams play their home games. It makes sense to have such a prestigious venue, best practice indicates it should be controlled by the national government, or the government of the capital city – this, however, is not the British way.

British Governments don't object to taking money off big sporting occasions, in the form of direct or indirect taxation. Against this, if a sport's governing body can find a big enough calibre gun to hold to their head, the government might be inclined to chip-in to help such a governing body – provided they have the word England, or British in their name.

But, we Jocks, and our Taffia friends in Wales, we are mere colonials and not entitled to the full largesse of access to London's money – even the money they have syphoned off us to fund “British” or “United Kingdom” projects.

The British Establishment does not even recognise Scotland as a nation – to them we are “North Britain” - a colony, a good place to go shooting, fishing or golfing, although, the natives speak with a strange accent and tend to deep fry every food – but are great shock troops when there is a need to invade an inferior nation; so the idea of allowing “the Jocks” or “Sweaties” (Sweaty Socks!!) to have their own national stadium – it isn't going to happen, unless they build it themselves – and they don't have a good record on things like that.

It doesn't help either than the one thing we Scots can give every other nation under the sun lessons in is fighting among ourselves. Elsewhere, should an individual do something special, there is general happiness in their locality, a pride in his or her achievements. In Scotland, the local reaction is more likely to be a grudging: “him – Ah kent his faither”.

The only two team sports in Scotland able to pull-in a large audience for big games are Football and Rugby Union. Here again, there is a problem. Football is seen as “The Glasgow Game” - despite the Vale of Leven's primacy in the game's youth, the Dear Green Place is seen as its heartland. Rugby Union is very-much seen as “Edinburgh's Game” - even though The Borders is regarded as the true heartland.

Thus, the Scottish Rugby Union owns and operates the 67,000-plus capacity Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh, while, some 40 miles west, in Glasgow, the Scottish Football Association owns and operates the near 52,000 capacity Hampden Park. And seldom shall the twain ever meet.

Clearly, in a nation of just over 5,000,000 people, mostly living in the central belt, it is absurd to have two “National Stadiums” - each almost exclusively for the use of one specific sport. But, that's Scotland. The SFA has to have its main ground in Glasgow, for no other reason than there has to be a neutral venue for big finals, since one or other of the two main Glasgow-based clubs will be involved. Similarly, Edinburgh always has been a Rugby Union city, so its Internationals and othr big games have to be held there.

Neither stadium is “State of the Art”. Hampden was already decrepit when piecemeal re-development began in the early 1980s. This work continued until the stadium, as it currently exists was opened in 1999. At its peak, before World War II, Hampden was the largest stadium in the world, with a record attendance of just shy of 150,000. Today, its capacity is just over one-third of that, but, with only “tarting-up”, particularly for the hosting of the 2014 Commonwealth Games, “The Old Lady” as Hampden is known, is definitely showing her age.

Murrayfield is, although more-modern looking than Hampden – it doesn't have those relics of the old running track behind each goal, for instance - if anything basically older, however, to be fair to the SRU, they have been aware of the stadium's short-comings for some time, but, have lacked the cash it requires to bring it quickly up to 21^st century standard. They are, however, actively looking to solve this long-standing problem, but, the Union's dire financial position makes this still a problem which will not be quickly or easily solved.

Then there is the slight obstacle of the Union having built The Hive, next to the main stadium, as a home for their subsidiary side, Edinburgh Rugby.

So, assuming we ever see what many regard as the ideal solution to the stadium problem – a new, purpose-built truly National Stadium, built on a greenfield site somewhere around Stirling. Pretty near the centre of the nation, with good rail and road links – a stadium able to host major Football and Rugby Union matches.

Here's what would probably happen:

• The forces of “Aye Beenism” around both codes of Football would be up in arms, immediately the new stadium was announced

• The Councils in both Edinburgh and Glasgow would rush to the barricades, black affronted at losing their big ground

• Since this hypothetical National Stadium will not be built before Independence – the opposition parties in the Scottish Parliament would be up in arms at such a flagrant and to them unnecessary waste of public money

• In any case, given the Scottish Civil Services track record on major infrastructure projects – which generally means delay and cost over-runs – the new stadium would cost far-more than budgeted for and be years late if it was ever finished

I fear we will be applying a metaphorical strip of Elastoplast to both Hampden and Murrayfield for at least the next century.

 

A Genuine Legend Has Been Taken

 

HE EFFECTIVELY left his home county, aged 18, when he exchanged Ayr Academy for the Scottish School of Physical Education at Jordanhill College, but, the death, aged 83, of Ian McLauchlan was particularly hard felt in God's County.

To the rest of the Rugby Union world he was: “Mighty Mouse”, but, in Ayrshire, he was “Wee Fudd” - partly because it annoyed him and that's what we do to each other down here. He was as a key member of a lauded Ayr Academy XV, undefeated over an entire season and including in its ranks, three future national captains at three different sports, known as: “Wee Beastie”..

McLauchlan captained Scotland at Rugby 19 times, team mate Ian Ure captained the national Football team, while a third member of the XV, Mike Denness, captained England at Cricket.

McLauchlan came from the mining village of Tarbolton, some six miles from Ayr. They have their own code of conduct in mining villages; trash talk in the pub of a night is allowed, but, if the argument continues past closing time, then it is generally settled by “a Square Go” at an agreed location when the would-be combatants are sober.

That code governed his on-field behaviour, back in the days when arguments on the field resulted in real violence, none of the shirt-pulling and posturing we see today. “Sledging” was part and parcel of the forward battle back then, but, McLauchlan didn't indulge. He hit first and you might be told: “That was your warning”. He was a hard wee bugger – he had to be, since at a shade over five foot eight and 14 and a half stone, he was literally punching way above his weight in the forward exchanges of his time.

He was a bit of a tearaway as a young man and this resulted in him being suspended by Jordanhill College RFC. But, as team-mate, the late John Roxburgh would explain: “Ian tholed his assizes like a real man”. He went up to Burnbrae and played for West of Scotland. Their youthful Second XV front row of McLauchlan, Quinton Dunlop and Sandy Carmichael would, within a decade, form the Scotland front row in an epic Calcutta Cup win at Twickenham.

McLauchlan, who had played for Ayrshire, then Glasgow Schools, made his full Glasgow debut in 1963, but for all his excellence in the scrums, plus his range about the park, which brought him far-more tries than any prop is supposed to score, he was considered “too wee” for international rugby and he was 27 before that debut came, appropriately against the Auld Enemy.

Hughie McLeod, Norman Bruce and Dave Rollo had raised the bar for Scottish front rows, McLauchlan, Frank Laidlaw and Sandy Carmichael raised it even higher and, when the British Lions set off for Australia and New Zealand, they were there as a trio.

Perception was, that Ireland's Ray McLoughlin and Carmichael would be the Test props, but in what became known as: “The Battle of Canterbury”, a week before the First Test, McLoughlin was injured and Carmichael viciously punched out of the Tour – McLauchlan and Sean Lynch of Ireland had to step up for the opening Test.

The Lions won, with McLauchlan charging down a Sid Going box kick to score the crucial only try in the game and the legend of “Mighty Mouse” was born. As Jim Telfer had famously observed in 1966, back then: “every game in New Zealand is a dirty game” and after that try, the hard men of Kiwi Rugby were keen to make a name by trapping this Mighty Mouse. Gordon Brown, another of the heroes of that Tour, had a great story about one provincial “hard man”, keen to make a name for himself, having a go at McLauchlan, who he had called: “the hamster” - only to be laid-out with one retaliatory punch.

Back home, McLauchlan's reputation was made and it wasn't long before he was handed the Scotland captaincy, which he held for a then record period. The Scotland front five of that time in the mid-1970s – McLauchlan, Duncan Madsen and Carmichael in the front row; “Broon From Troon” and Alistair McHarg at lock, was known as: “The Mean Machine” - as a unit they were world-class, unfortunately, some of the rest of the national squad at the time were barely international class.

McLauchlan made a second Lions Tour in 1974, when he was one of the immortals of “The Invincibles” who rampaged unbeaten through South Africa. His front row mates this time were Wales's Bobby Windsor and England's Fran Cotton. Cotton had been somewhat nonplussed by the McLauchlan approach to propping the first time they locked horns, in that legendary 1971 Calcutta Cup game. He reportedly told his immediate opponent after being given a friendly tap: “We don't do that in English Rugby”. Knowing the sides were due to meet again in a Centenary International, at Murrayfield a week later, McLauchlan responded: “Well, you've got a week to learn.” Cotton was apparently a quick learner.

McLauchlan really ought to have made a third Lions' Tour, in 1977. He had schooled all the selected props during the Five Nations, but the selectors decided, at 35, he was “too old”, his absence was a loss to the Lions.

He had famously played for Scotland with “a broken leg”, in reality a cracked bone, in the 1973 Calcutta Cup match and he finally called it a day in 1979, after 43 Scotland and 8 Lions Test caps, at the age of 37. Writing his well-received autobiography saw him declared a “professional” under the draconian rules of the time, but he went into journalism, before giving-up teaching to start his own events and marketing company, in which capacity he was quickly welcomed back into the Murrayfield fold.

His after-dinner speeches were always funny and interesting, he was a natural raconteur. There is the legend of his first appearance at the Cumnock Rugby Club dinner. This was known as a particularly unruly affair – the programme listed the menu, then simply said: “Fracas”. On rising to his feet, McLauchlan warned the company, any bread rolls or other objects thrown at him, we would meet fire with fire.

He had barely started when the second XV scrum half hurled a bread roll, scoring a direct hit, as did McLauchlan, when he flung a chair back at him. Thereafter he was heard in rapt silence, prior to a standing ovation.

His second appearance at the Cumnock Dinner, for the Club's 50^th anniversary, saw him enter the Broomfield clubhouse, to be met by old sparring partner, Ayr's Jock Craig. A mutual exchange of four-lettered greetings ensured, before a good night was had by all. In the midst of McLauchlan's very-funny speech, as he regaled the story of a forward battle, David Dunsmuir, a team-mate in the UnofficialChampionship-winning Jordanhill College side of 1972, remarked: “I played in a lot of these games, and we backs had no idea that was what was going on up-front.”

When the game went open, McLauchlan could be fully re-admitted to the fold, becoming one of the longest-serving and most-respected SRU “Bufties.”

SRU President from 2010 until 2012, he continued to serve on the board until 2019 – fully 60 years since his debut cap. He also served on the board of EPCR – European Professional Club Rugby and was a staunch supporter of various Rugby Union charities.

He was inducted into the Scottish Rugby Hall of Fame in 2013 and was made OBE in 2017. He enjoyed a great friendship with SRU Patron HRH The Princess Royal, while various Bufties have reported, it was always a good idea to get out of the posh seats at Murrayfield at half-time before HRH stopped to exchange pleasnatries with Mouse.

He lived for many years in the Corstorphine area of Edinburgh, before, after severing his connections with Murrayfield, he and wife Eileen moved to her native Islay. He lost Eileen in 2023 and his subsequent time was marred by ill health, which restricted his mobility.

He was in many ways ahead of his time, he was pumping iron at a time when not many players were doing this. He was hugely technically proficient, mainly because, he could operate at a height at which few other props of the time were comfortable. It was said, perhaps the only other of his propping contemporaries who could take him to uncomfortable places was Ayr's Johnny Burston – another Ayr Academical, who learned much from McLauchlan and Dickinson at Jordanhill.

Indeed, former Ayr hooker Ernie Finnie admitted, when the front row battle was Ayr's Craig, Finnie and Burston against Jordanhill's McLauchlin, Ronnie Boid and Struan McCallum, he and Ronnie Boid frequently hooked more balls with their heads than their feet.

Scottish Rugby has lost a true legend – he was irreplaceable and his loss will be keenly felt by all those of us who knew and admired him. My condolesnces to his family at his passing.

 

Discourse On A Dublin Defeat

HE WASN'T in the match-day 23, so was never going to feature, but none of the British and Irish Lions on-duty in Dublin on Friday night came close to providing the entertainment which The Gallus One produced pre-match, juggling with three size five Gilbert balls, while playing keepie-uppie with a fourth – I can see him being as influential and as big a name in Australia as Jackie Kyle in 1950 and Barry John in 1971 were on the other side of the Tasman “ditch”.

I almost feel sorry for “Fleet Street's Rugby Union Hack Pack”. They are so used to being fed inedible shite by the English clubs and more-so their national side, they crave exciting, attacking Rugby like the worst drug or drink addict. Players are not allowed to have an off-night, while the flimsiest bit of attacking rugby makes them almost orgasmic. This failing was evident in some of the match reports.

For Fuck Sake – this was an off-Broadway try-out; ok, maybe a dress rehearsal in Chicago. A chance to iron-out a few wrinkles, try some systems, get acquainted. If these Lions win the Test Series, which is after all the primary reason for going on the Tour, Dublin defeat will be a short foot-note.

I've been following the Lions for 70 years now, since the teenaged Tony O'Reilly got me interested in the game in South Africa in 1955. I would say now at least seven, possibly as many as nine or ten of Friday night's starting XV will be no closer to the action than the bench, come the First Test, four weeks from today. Indeed, the chances are, a couple of these players may already be back home, injured – that's the reality of Lions Rugby.

Only one Lions squad, the Immortals of 1971, has managed to win a Series in New Zealand; yet these legnds were all but written-off after crumbling in their opening match, in Australia, a defeat later attributed by the Tour Manager, that great Aberdonian, Dr Douglas Smith, to the effects of “Jet Lag – or Desynchronosis or Circadian Dysrhythmia” for the Latin classicists among us.

Then again, there is that oft-quotd piece of Broadway folk lore: “poor dress rehearsal, great first night” - do not rush to criticise.

Mind you, I did find myself nodding in agreement with one of the BTL comments in The Guardian website, where the comment poster referred to “The English Disease – the team addding-up to less than the sum of its parts.”

The match reports I have read, indeed the Sky Sports live match coverage which I watched were very-much slanted towards the Lions, but, really we should offer a sincere well-done to the victorious Argentinians. They were not at full strength but the guys on-duty more than lived up to their nation's fifth place in the World Rankings.

They made fewer mistakes than the Lions and certainly took their chances, I fear England's upcoming tour to South America may turn out to be a really hard one for their below-strength squad.