They're Dancing In The Streets Of Hawick

IN THE Auchinleck Talbot clubhouse, there is a large display unit, custom-built to hold just one trophy – the magnificent Scottish Junior Cup. No other minor trophy ever goes in there, and, to be honest, the 'Bot win it with such regularity, the place looks somewhat bare without the cup in its special place.

"Home" for Christmas - the Bill McLaren Shield

They have not gone that far – yet, but, given how seldom visiting teams win at Mansfield Park, I could perhaps see Hawick finding a special place from where to display the magnificent Bill McLaren Shield, which they wrestled from the possession of GHA at Braidholm on Saturday.

“It's nae loss whit a freen gets,” might well be Lowland Scots pish, but, while I would certainly have liked to see GHA hold onto it for a wee bit longer, I am really pleased for John 'Pundy' Thorburn of the Bill McLaren Foundation, that the shield is back in its spiritual home, from whence it will take a lot of wrestling. An early Christmas present for the Teries.

PRINCIPAL Seymour Skinner was right on the money he came up with that one-liner to Groundskeeper Willie. We are a contentious people, indeed, I think perhaps God only gave us the English as neighbours to stop us killing each other – when we had a more-fitting target just south of the Solway and Tweed.

So, I find it strangely comforting that the big debate following Saturday night's part one of the 1872 Cup competition was as to how many of referee Ben Blain's five yellow cards were justified.

The answer if, of course, all five – since the referee is the sole judge of fact during the game, and if wee Ben reckoned the cards were justified, that's ok with me. We really are very hard on oor ain referees, expecting Owens-level of refereeing brilliance from young officials with far-less experience than our Nige; while we also reserve the right to have a go at the great man when he referees our sides.

Games between Glasgow and Edinburgh will only become try feasts when one or other of the sides has a really bad night. The players know each other so well, they will always become close, tense affairs, perhaps settled by a daft mistake. We should maybe accept this, and lay-off the referee.

The usual exceptions around George Clancy are, however, recognised in writing the above.

AS WITH the 1872 Cup game, the FOSROC SUPER6 clash between Ayrshire Bulls and Watsonians at Millbrae disappointed purists, looking for champagne rugby for Christmas. This was an old-fashioned arm wrestle; in fact, to keep the clichés coming, it was also 'a game of two halves' – turning on Bulls' full back Ollie Smith's interception of a Watsonians' pass, before sprinting 95 metres to score and turn a potential 15-0 Watsonians' lead into a much-tighter 5-10 game.

After that, Bulls simply grew in confidence to inflict a first loss of the season on their visitors. But, it wasn't a totally bad day for the Myreside men. The sides may be level on 23 points at the top of the table, but, Watsonians have a crucial two point advantage in points difference: plus-50 to Bulls' plus-48.

High point of the day, however, was when the irrepressible Gordon Reid plucked a loose ball out of the air, deep in his own 22, and promptly did a passable Stuart Hogg impression, in kicking to touch, to ease the pressure.

The Bulls apparently held a Court in their dressing room on Saturday night, and I am assured Gordzilla was able to have the charge of bringing front row play into disrepute by his actions, thrown out.

Gordy is now available to conduct Chris Paterson-style kicking masterclasses, provided he is paid in Irn Bru.

Some of the older Millbrae regulars are struggling a bit with the team name, finding it hard to shout for the Bulls, rather than Ayr. Spare a thought, however, for Millbrae match-day announcer Brian McNally, who, twice or three times on Saturday, had to be reminded, he was watching the Bulls, and not, as he was prone to announce, “the Warriors.”

Some of the fans were also unhappy at not seeing flowing rugby thus far in S6. Yes, we are probably all unhappy at this, but, to be fair, the games thus far have been played in poor weather; conditions for the two matches between Bulls and Stirling County were as bad as I have encountered, so, we have to make allowances.

There have been 17 matches in the new competition – 8 have been won by a single score or less, in fact, the average winning margin to date is 9 points. Only 10 four-try bonuses have been won, while there have been 7 losing bonus-points garnered. Clearly this is a very competitive league, which is hardly a bad thing.

Now Greig's Gone - Who Might Be Next?

WHO WILL be next? I ask that question in the wake of the not-unexpected news that Greig Laidlaw was calling time on his nine-year, 76 caps, Scotland career. In making the announcement, he was following in the footsteps of John Barclay and Tommy Seymour. I fear there may be other retirements to be announced between now and Gregor Townsend naming his Six Nations squad next month.

Goodbye to Greig

The talk in certain club houses, since the premature conclusion to our World Cup campaign, to the effect that Toony had: “Lost the dressing room.” I suspect, had the Scotland football team misfired in a World Cup to the same extent as their rugby cousins, well the 'red tops' would have been all over the story, and some fairly lurid stories might well have emerged.

In rugby, however, the omerta of: “What goes-on on-tour stays on tour” still has considerable resonance; and we may never find out if the stories are true, exaggerated, or what.

IT HAS often been suggested that the RMS Titanic could have been halted or turned around faster than the good ship SRU.

I would be loath to believe this of every department of the Union, however, there are some, such as the media and public affairs team, whose performances don't fill me with confidence.

For instance, back on the weekend of 30 November – 1 December, the entire FOSROC Super6 schedule was wiped-out by bad weather. Two of the three matches, those between Heriot's and Stirling County and Ayrshire Bulls v Watsonians, will be played tomorrow.

The Boroughmuir Bears v Southern Knights fixture, which was due to be that weekend' televised match, will not be played until Friday, 10 January, which means, the competition is losing one televised match.

The game at Millbrae on Saturday, is a second v first clash – surely this one could have been streamed live, there is certainly the interest to justify such a move?

But, at the time of writing, this isn't going to happen; so, a good chance to showcase the new competition and Scottish Rugby in general, has been missed.

There will still, I would imagine, a scaled-down TV presence in Alloway on Saturday, with a wee bit of effort, things might have been done better.

Televising the game at Millbrae, might also have been used as a lead-in to the first leg of the 1872 Cup, which kicks-off at Scotstoun at 5.45pm on Saturday night.

Does anyone at Murrayfield do joined-up thinking?

But, seeing as this is the time of peace and goodwill to all men – kudos to whoever does the referee appointments over at EH12. With this being PRO14 Derby time, they have put the big guns on the big games – with Ben Blain having the whistle for the 1872 Cup first leg, with Sam Grove-White and Hollie Davidson on flag duty, and big Andy McMenemy in the TV trailer.

Mike Adamson - Super6 rather than PRO14 duty on Saturday

It is maybe a good move to give Mikey Adamson the day off from this one, not that he's getting to put his feet up – he has the Ayr v Watsonians top of the table Super6 clash, where he will have Sam O'Neil and Alistair Watt as his wing men.

Finlay Brown's star continues to rise, he's got Heriot's v Stirling County, with Jonny Perriam and Brian McGuff on the flags.

HOW MUCH is hiring Tendai “The Beast” Mtawarira costing the SRU? Seems reasonable to ask, since we must presume LL-B gets to boost his Air Miles, as a member of the Old Glory DC board; and, as minority share-holders in the Washington Major League Rugby franchise, the SRU has had to contribute to what will no doubt be a nice salary for the great man.

MLR kicks-off next month, so this week I had a wee look at their website, for any discernible tartan tinge. Certainly former Scotland Sevens and Edinburgh flanker Mungo Mason will be playing for them, and, hooker Jack Iscaro had a short stint at Scotstoun earlier this season. But, otherwise, there isn't much of a Scottish connection.

I just wonder, however, from the name, if young New Zealand tight-head prop Gordon Fullerton, might be a potential “kilted kiwi.” He's an interesting boy, 22-years-old, from Waikato, and a rising star in the dairy cattle judging ranks in NZ. Are you watching Glen Tippett?

Sean Yacoubian - now playing in Glendale

To stay in the USA, former Glasgow Hawks scrum-half Sean Yacoubian will be playing in MLR this season, for Colorado Raptors, who are based in Glendale, one of Denver's most-affluent suburbs.

Carry-On Scrumming Scotland

THE INABILITY of The Junta and their elves to respond to constructive criticism never ceases to amaze me. No matter how often they are told, they are messing-up, like the good Brigadier-General Melchett, they carry-on regardless.

The good General, still a role model for Murrayfield

Speaking of which, what a shame so-many of the crew are no longer with us: imagine casting Carry On Scrumming Scotland:

• Sid James as TCD
• Kenneth Williams as LL-B
• Kenneth Connor as J Cheever Loophole
• Charles Hawtrey as Lance-Corporal Jones
• Hattie Jacques as President Dee
• Barbara Windsor as Sheila Begbie
• Peter Butterworth as Stevie Gemmell
• Jim Dale as Sean Lineen
• Bernard Bresslaw as Buddy the Elf

Any way, enough of the fantasy, back to grim reality.

I have been critical of the standard of the SRU TV weekend round-up of the Premiership and National League 1 games this season. But, on Saturday, they finally managed to scrape their way through the bottom of the barrel.

The coverage of the big Premiership game, all 96 seconds of it, was painful to watch, filmed as it seemed to be, by a mobile telephone camera, wielded by a fan on the touchline. Mind you, they did get both Marr tries and the Currie penalty, so fair's fair.

But, that was an epic shot in technicolour cinerama and shown on a wide screen, compared to the NL1 coverage of Boroughmuir v Dundee. At one point, it looked as if someone had put a pair of black tights over the lens.

Now surely, between Saturday afternoon and putting the highloights up on Monday morning – if they can overdub background music – they could overdub a commentary. Far more use to the watcher than some nice muzak.

To be fair, the coverage of Super6 is better. You do get the commentary from the televised game, on the highlights reel. But, surely they could have put-on commentary on the Saturday games. It's not as if it's nuclear science. And, of course, because they are using proper TV cameras in S6, the picture quality is day and night above that in the club games.

These criticisms have been raised before, but, Murrayfield ignores them. It should also be said, Stuart Cameron's coverage of games in the Borders for ITV Sport and his Facebook channel continue to show-up the amateurism of the official Scottish Rugby TV coverage.

Mind you, amateurism is not confined to Murrayfield. I have written at least three complaint emails to the BBC Scotland Sport website about their failure to publish the Super6 results.

While they continue to ignore the club game, they do mention Super6, however, while they publish all the Premiership and National League results each week – they do not publish the Super6 ones. Strange.

I HAVE been meaning to comment on Tommy Seymour's decision to retire from Scotland duty following the World Cup, following hard on the heels of John Barclay.

No more Test rugby for Tommy Seymour - who's next to retire

I wonder – who will be next? Because I suspect we are not done with the retirement from Scotland duties stories.

The rumour mill has been turning since the party's return from Japan. We hear: “Toony has 'lost the dressing room' and all is not well within the squad.” If this is indeed the case, we might be looking to one or two others of the senior players calling time on representing Scotland.

Not that this would be an entirely bad thing, it would give a refreshed squad four complete seasons to gel before the next World Cup.

THE REGULAR SEASON of the inaugural FOSROC Super6 competition has now reached its mid-point. One of the main reasons for starting S6 was to in a way hot-house potential full-time professionals. So, which of the younger players has made an early impact? I have seen a clutch of stand-out performers, who, if they continue as they have started, could well be getting early promotion to the two PRO14 squads.

He gets pictured in dubious company, but Cameron

Hutchison has been an early Super6 stand-out

In the backs, Heriot's centre Cameron Hutchison has already posted some impressive performances. He runs good lines, knows his way to the try line, and has also put in some crunching defensive tackles.

Bulls' Ross Thompson has also started well in S6

At Ayrshire Bulls, stand-off Ross Thompson has built on his good reputation from the national Under-20 team and his previous time at Glasgow Hawks. He manages a game well both from how he feeds his backs and with his kicking from hand. He is mature beyond his years and his form has kept Frazier Climo confined to bench duties.

However, for me, THE stand-out youngster so far has been Boroughmuir Bears lock Callum Atkinson. He's a big lump, all six foot ten of him, so, he has naturally been excellent at the lines-out, on the receiving end of Jonny Matthews' arrows.

If he continues as he has started, it will not be long before

Callum Atkinson is seen more-often with Edinburgh than Boroughmuir

But, as he showed against Watsonians on Sunday, he can spread panic out in the backfield when he gets up a head of steam. He has definitely impressed, as, to a lesser extent has another young lock – Cameron Henderson of Stirling County.

Speaking of promising youngsters, former Ayr and Glasgow prop Javan Sebastian has been garnering good reviews for Scarlets in recent weeks.

Javan Sebastian - pretty in pink, now a stand-out in Scarlet

Tight-head Javan is dual-qualified to play for Scotland or Wales, but, obviously, at the moment, looks more likely, if he ever does get capped, to be called-up by Wales. Interestingly, I saw one btl comment on a rugby forum this week suggesting the Welsh ought to hurry-up and cap him, before Scotland nips in to grab him.

A much-needed and appreciated win for Rugby Mum and the Bonnie Lassies

I AM delighted this morning for one of my favourite women – big Louise McLauchlan, or “Rugby Mum” as she is known to everyone at Ayr.

'Rugby Mum' Louise McLauchlan

(or is it Mrs Claus?)

Louise, in addition to not being the sort of wummin to whom one would take home an opened pay packet, is Millbrae royalty. Her grand-father was only persuaded to retire when the players he captained called him “Mr Ecrepont,' rather than by his Christian name. Her father, “Big Eddie,” was one of the stalwarts who built Millbrae and, in spite of a stroke, a few years ago now, which would have finished-off a lesser man, he still gets himself out to Millbrae on his electrified invalid cart and continues to support the club.

Louise's uncle on her mother's side played for the club when they first won the old Glasgow Knock-Out Cup, and the family connection with Ayr RFC is continuing into a fourth generation through her sons.

Louise has been a fixture in the Women's squad since its inception and this season she has taken on additional responsibilities, such as running touch and being 'Tunnel Manager' for Ayrshire Bulls games. If Madam President, Sheila Begbie and Gemma Fay are The Supremes of Scottish Rugby, then Louise might well be the Dolly Parton.

So, I was absolutely over the moon for her yesterday, when Ayr beat Heriot's Blues Women 43-12 to maintain their place in the Tennent's Women's Premiership next season.

All the momentum, going into the play-off match at Oriam was with the Edinburgh side, who had posted nine wins and one defeat in winning Women's National league 1, while Ayr's record in the Premiership was one win and nine defeats. But, on the day, the Bonnie Lassies came good.

I WISH the same could be said for Glasgow Warriors, who lost at home to La Rochelle on Saturday. Sure, they might well rouse themselves to beat Exeter Chiefs when they arrive at Scotstoun in January. But, even winning that, and accomplishing the far-harder job of beating Sale in Manchester might not be enough to get them into the knock-out stages of the Champion's Cup.

I just wonder at the sense in announcing, so-early, that there would be a change of Head Coach at the end of the season. How does this affect the dressing room dynamic? Or, might it be, perhaps the Glasgow squad is not as strong as we think it is?

Glasgow's next five games are: the 1872 Cup double header against Edinburgh, a trip to Benetton, the home game with Exeter, then the trip to Sale. After that, they lose a considerable number of squad members to the Scotland squad for the Six Nations. If things go badly between now and the end of January, might there be a case for putting Dave Rennie on gardening leave and letting someone else run things for a time, until Danny Wilson is released from Scotland to take over? Not that I am entirely convinced by that appointment.

STILL (sort of) on matters Glasgow. The notion of seeing big Leone Nakarawa back at Scotstoun, ball clamped in one giant mitt, rampaging down the centre of the field before throwing an outrageous off-load certainly stirs the blood. But, is the 2019/20 Nakarawa as formidable a one-man wrecking ball as he was during his first spell with the club?

I do feel, Warriors do not off-load as often as they might, perhaps that is the game plan: take contact, tie-in a few and hope that fast ruck ball from George Horne or Ali Price can open-up space wide out. Would the 2020 Nakarawa be given the licence to freestyle which he got first time round?

He could certainly be an excellent mentor to the younger locks at Scotstoun. There are five pure locks at Scotstoun: Scott Cummings and Andrew Davidson are both 23; Jonny Gray and Kiran McDonald-Seran are both 25; so, that quartet are all still on the upward part of their career path, while the fifth, Tim Swinson, at 32, might be said to be just coming off the peak.

I have no doubt, Nakarawa would add value to the locking resources, but, the question is – would recruiting him offer value for money?

George McMillan captures Andy Davidson soaring highest

in this line out at Millbrae on Saturday

Davidson has played for Stirling County in their last two games – and played well, McDonald-Seran is injured at the moment and with Gray and Cummings likely to be off with Scotland for the 6N, perhaps getting Nakarawa in would be sensible.

Or, is there a case for maybe calling-up a couple of the younger locks, such as Stirling County's Cameron Henderson or Ayrshire Bulls' Marshall Sykes, currently playing in Super6, for the experience, during the international window?

MIND YOU, what I would like to see, is the establishment of at least a third full-time Scottish side in an expanded PRO14. Two teams are not enough. We have too-many players playing too-little rugby, they need a third team to get them playing more.

A third team would create greater competition for places in the national squad, and drive up standards. It makes sense to me.

CONFESSION of the season so far, came from Adam Ashe, at Millbrae on Saturday, when I asked him if he had really thought winding-up Gordon Reid had been a good idea.

Adam Ashe just fails to prevent Blair Macpherson from

scoring for the Bulls on Saturday. He had more success

in helping get Gordon Reid yellow-carded. Picture by George McMillan 

“It seemed like it at the time, but, Gordy certainly paid me back,” was his explanation for a first-half incident in the Ayrshire Bulls v Stirling County Super6 game.

'Gordzilla's' temper was already red-lining, after a couple of penalties against him at scrums – one of which had garnered County three points from the penalty - when Ashey delivered a quite blatant 'Munster' – an early hit, beyond the breakdown – to take-out Gordy; who left referee Ben Blain in no doubt as to what he thought of him for missing the hit. Yellow card to Gordy, try to County while he sat, fuming, on the naughty chair.

Peter Murchie and Pat McArthur managed to get the Scotland loose-head re-focussed during the break and, when he returned, he immediately “worried” opposite number Murphy Walker – it was like a rottweiller playing with a stuffed toy – at the first scrum; before going on to play a big role in Bulls' second-half surge to a bonus-point win.

That Bulls win sets up a top of the table clash with Watsonians for Saturday, again at Millbrae, in a match re-scheduled from 30 November. This one promises to be good.

The Junta Don't Appear To Like These Principles - But, Apparently, They Have Others

LAST WEEK, one of the leading club officials in Scottish Rugby last week dropped me a wee hint. “Have a look at 'The Nolan Principles' and how they apply to the Scottish Rugby Union,” he suggested.

My immediate thought was: “Nolan Principles – what are they; I didn't know wee Bill had principles.” (Sorry Bill, only kidding). Looking more-deeply, I discovered that the Nawab of North Ayrshire and his singing Sisters are not the only Nolans.

No, the 'Nolan Principles' are: “The basis of the ethical standards expected of public office holders.”

The legal Lord Nolan, rather than the Scottish Rugby one

These principles were named after former High Court judge Lord Nolan, who chaired the Government enquiry into standards in public life, in 1994. Interesting reading these make too – they are:

1. Selflessness

Holders of public office should act solely in terms of the public interest.

2. Integrity

Holders of public office must avoid placing themselves under any obligation to people or organisations that might try inappropriately to influence them in their work. They should not act or take decisions in order to gain financial or other material benefits for themselves, their family, or their friends. They must declare and resolve any interests and relationships.

3. Objectivity

Holders of public office must act and take decisions impartially, fairly and on merit, using the best evidence and without discrimination or bias.

4. Accountability

Holders of public office are accountable to the public for their decisions and actions and must submit themselves to the scrutiny necessary to ensure this.

5. Openness

Holders of public office should act and take decisions in an open and transparent manner. Information should not be withheld from the public unless there are clear and lawful reasons for so doing.

6. Honesty

Holders of public office should be truthful.

7. Leadership

Holders of public office should exhibit these principles in their own behaviour. They should actively promote and robustly support the principles and be willing to challenge poor behaviour wherever it occurs.

These principles apply to the SRU, which is a public body, charged with running the game of Rugby Union football in Scotland. So, just how do our elected and paid officials measure-up to the Nolan Principles.

Selflessness: acting soley in the public interest.

• Was it in the public interest to have three of the six Super6 franchises based in Edinburgh?
• Was it in the public interest to have Board Member Lesley Thomson investigate 'Russellgate?'
• Is the fact 'the Indians' who do the work at Murrayfield refer to the Cheif Operating Officer as “Changing Rooms” a sign of selflessness among The Junta?

Integrity: In this instance, I make no comment, other than to repeat a comment made by Keith Russell, following the settlement of his unfair dismissal claim. He said:

• “It is so disappointing to realise that the guys at the top are not good guys and do not represent the values and culture of rugby.”

Objectivity: Holders of public office must act and take decisions impartially, fairly and on merit, using the best evidence and without discrimination or bias.

• Again, we come back to the absolute fuck-up that was the S6 franchise bidding process. A committee, including several members who were themselves linked to some of the bidding clubs – try telling some of the losers there was no discrimination or bias.

• Did the CEO, after the mess he made of 'Russellgate' merit his enhanced contract?

Accountability: Holders of public office are accountable to the public for their decisions and actions and must submit themselves to the scrutiny necessary to ensure this.

• Since my face does not fit at BT Murrayfield, I cannot offer the evidence of my own eyes and ears. However, long-standing journalists, whose views I do trust, and who were there, assure me, The Junta at recent AGMs and SGMs have moved heaven and earth to avoid being held accountable for decisions made, and the membership has very few opportunities to hold them to account.

Openness: Holders of public office should act and take decisions in an open and transparent manner. Information should not be withheld from the public unless there are clear and lawful reasons for so doing.

• The SRU, the masters of smoke and mirrors and disinformation – acting: “In an open and transparent manner.” Aye Right! In this one, ye'r 'avin' a larf. The Freemasons are more transparent.

• Non-Disclosure Agreements.

• Lesley Thomson's 'Review' after 'Russellgate.'

Honesty: Holders of public office should be truthful.

• I refer you to the comments of Judge D'Inverno, who heard Keith Russell's case against the SRU for unfair dismissal.

Leadership: When I see TCD and The Junta, I am reminded of the line from George Macdonald Fraser's mighty tome: 'The General Danced At Dawn,' which says: “The Jocks will follow their 'Ruperts' (Anglo-Scottish officers) anywhere – usually out of a sense of amused dread.”

I fear, The Junta by their behaviour, do not meet many of the Nolan Principles, which perhaps explains their desire to try to switch the SR|U from being a members-owned co-operative to a limited company.

If they are allowed to get away with their naked power grab, the member clubs will have fewer opportunities to scrutinise and hold in check the doings of the men at the top.

This cannot be good for Scottish Rugby.