Messerschmidts, Magicians, Records and Dwarves

THE LATE GREAT Australian all-rounder Keith Miller had a terrific line on the pressures of top-class sport. Having piloted a fighter aircraft during the last unpleasantness between the German and British Empires, he could, with great authority explain: “Playing international cricket isn't pressure – having a Messerschmidt up your arse, that's pressure.”

So having got that out of the way, I will say Edinburgh were under a degree of pressure of expectation when they entertained Dragons at The Hive on Friday night. Given the Welsh side allegedly do laps of honour when they win a line out on their own throw, the home team were clear favourites – a status they do not always live up to.

Well, they did on Friday night, and while a 6-1 try-scoring performance and a bonus point win is never to be sneezed at; this was a typical “curate's egg” Edinburgh performance: when they were good – usually when Darcy Graham was centre stage – they were very-good, but, at other times, the lack of basic skills, on a night when the ball was somewhat greasy it has to be admitted, was embarrassing.

The home pack bossed the game. D'Arcy Rae and Javan Sebastian may be viewed as some way behind Zander Fagerson, but, they certainly bossed the scrums, while his performance demonstrated, Paddy Harrison is now a genuine threat to Ewan Ashman for a place in the national squad.

However, the evening truly belonged to wee Darcy G. Naturally, the London pundits will be hyping up the England wingers for inclusion in the Lions' squad, while I am sure Andy Farrell still has a soft spot for his Irish wide boys. But, as Friday night demonstrated, the wee man from Hawick has the X-Factor in spades; the crowd sits up and hums in expectation whenever he is around the ball.

If he stays fit, he has to be on that plane to Australia in late June.

One final wee point. I know all hookers cheat to an extent when throwing into the lines-out; but, to my mind, nobody cheats more than Dragons' Elliott Dee. The Welsh hooker takes every throw from inside the pitch; this was a feature in the Six Nations, now, back in the BKT URC he is still infringing constantly – and the match officials are letting him away with it.

“THIS WAS A GAME OF TWO HALVES” is one of the most over-used phrases in the cliché-driven world of sports-writing. Well, while the fact there were six goals, worth 42 points, scored in the first half and no points at all scored during the second, Saturday night's Glasgow Warriors v Emirates Lions match in the URC certainly could be described as: “a game of two halves.”

However, this was far from the traditional version of AGOTH, wherein one side dominates the first half, then falls completely out of the game in the second. Glasgow had just as many chances to score after the break as they had before it, but, playing into a fierce wind and a visiting team which was trying everything they knew to get back into the game, the tries which the build-up play probably deserved just didn't materialise.

But, I fancy Franco Smith will be just as pleased with the goose egg against the Lions' name in the score-line. Peter Murchie might not be one of the most-lauded Defence Coaches in the game, but, I wager finding someone as good to replace him, when he decamps to Japan at the end of the season, will not be an easy task for Warriors and the SRU.

Glasgow were the slicker side all through a very-entertaining game, and it is to Lions' credit that, by tightening-up their discipline after the interval, they managed to draw the second half.

Jamie Dobie, playing on the wing, was the deserved winner of the Man of the Match call, although the popular choice might have been George Horne, who went ahead of DTH van der Merwe as the team's all-time top scorer, when he crossed for his 55^th try. Skipper Kyle Steyn was another Warrior to impress on a big night for the club.

The win keeps Warriors in second place in the URC table and still on-course for home advantage in the play-offs. Given this was not a full-strength team too, it sets the squad up nicely for next weekend's big European clash with Leicester Tigers.

BATH V HARLEQUINS was the big Saturday afternoon game on TNT Sports, so there was no way I wasn't going to tune-in to watch Finn Russell in action.

Yet again, he alsolutely ran the game, pulling all the right strings as Bath crushed the flash London mob. The much-hyped head-to-head between MacMessi and Marcus Smith was a non-event, after Smith was switched to full-back early on, by which time Finn had again demonstrated to all but the most-myopic non-Scots, just who is the premier ten in the UK and probably Europe at the moment.

Needless to say, TNT didn't award him their Man of the Match prize; I reckon they are under orders to give it to any England-qualified player on the field but under no circumstances to give it to Finn.

He plays a brand of Rugby Union which the English simply do not understand.

DOWN HERE in the Wild West, in God's County, we had some important games on Saturday. At Millbrae, Ayr set a record which will be very hard to equal, far-less beat, when, in crushing Selkirk in their final regular season game in the Arnold Clark Premiership, they cruised past the 1000 points in a league campaign mark.

Up the road, at Fullarton, Marr lost to Heriot's and now need one or two miracles if they are to avoid dropping out of the top flight. But, with two games left, they are not dead yet.

Kilmarnock's 52-7 win over Cumnock virtually sealed their return to the National Leagues next season. Lenzie can still match their match points won total, but such is Killie's pointd difference advantage, even if they fall flat in their final game, at Annan, they should still go up.

It hasn't been a good week for Cumnock, with the death of long-time club member and weel-kent referee Kenny Roxburgh. I was a class-mate of Kenny's at Cumnock Academy. We long ago forgave him for forsaking the dark side for officiating, where he famously, when refereeing a Gordonstoun School game offered captain Peter Phillips the choice of: “tails or Grannie” at the toss-up.

Finally, a well-done to “Grumpy the eighth dwarf” - aka East Kilbride Coach Franklin Clark, on guiding his side to the National Shield Final on Saturday. A long-term disciple of “The Ayatollah” - Big John McHarg, I understand wee Frankie cracked a rare smile on the final whistle.

 

Why Not? It Worked For Golf

AS A BOY, getting into Sport, one of the earliest big sporting occasions to capture my attention was Great Britain's Ryder Cup win over the USA, at Lindrick, in 1957.

I was only 10 when this happened, but, that single match got me interested in golf and I can still remember more than half of the victorious British team, captained by Welshman Dai Rees. In particular, I had enjoyed oor ain Eric Brown winning a somewhat tempestuous rubber against volatile American Tommy Bolt.

It helped that one or two big hitters, such as Sam Snead and Ben Hogan didn't travel with the visiting team and the upshot was, never again did the USA handicap themselves selection-wise, to the extent, British wins became like hen's teeth and the Great Britain team, in time, became a Europe one; with the arrival of the likes of Sevie Ballesteros turning the tide of repeated American wins.

Now, I am not saying the British and Irish Lions are in as desperate a situation as the golfers were back when they brought-in the mainland Europeans, but, might not making the Lions a European rather than merely a British Isles select, give the brand the boost it perhaps needs, if it is to withstand the more-nationalistic approach caused by the arrival of the Rugby World Cup.

There are rumours surfacing, suggesting a Lions v France warm-up before their respective Summer tours, the Lions to Australia, France to New Zealand. The door to a Pan-European squad has already been opened a touch further by the news Head Coach Andy Farrell has named, on his provisional and secret “Long List” of some 75 potential Lions, one or two players who are prohibited from playing for their countries, because they earn their weekly wage in France.

Given that French-based Scots Blair Kinghorn and Ben White could well be on the long list, we can conclude England exiles such as the Coach's son, the Willis who plays in France and perhaps young Henry Arundell could be under consideration.

I appreciate this suggestion might be greeted as further indication that old Aristotle has lost it completely, but, just imagine what might happen with some of that French pack providing ammunition for Antoine Dupont and Finn Russell to unleash a back line of the Scottish centres and the French wingers, with Italy's Ange Capuozzo coming through from full back.

I DOUBT that I could get into Journalism, if I was starting out today. That said, the way our trade is going, I doubt if I would want to; however, every year we still see impressionable youngsters itching to get started.

I might add, I got in on a mixture of gallus smeddum and good luck – plus being well-advised by older journalists who took a liking to me. I never went through one of today's training courses, I learned on the tools.

I still laugh at the day one of the trainees on a major newspaper publisher's training course had to ask our hard-bitten Editor: “What's a collect?” (a picture of the person in the news story) after being told to pick one up. After a four-year Honours course in English and a one-year post-graduate Journalism course, this poor youth still hadn't a clue about one of the basics of the game.

The best Collect I ever saw was when one reporter came into the News Room with a three foot square, framed oil painting of a recently-deceased local worthy, forcing the same Editor to admit: “Now that's what I call a Collect.”

Then there was the time I was subbing a report, written by another of those youngsters with an Honours degree and a post-graduate diploma in Journalism and I had to correct four basic spelling mistakes in the opening paragraph. That journalist might have benefitted from our Primary Six, Friday spelling test in which, if you didn't get seven out of ten, you got a touch of Lochgelly leather to help you up your game the next week.

OK, enough of the preamble, where am I going here? Well, raw recruits have to learn somewhere and I am all for education – however, it is a wee bit galling to find a Journalism student, posting on Linkedin, his thanks to the SRU Comms Team, for allowing him to work with them at recent games at Murrayfield.

That just sums up Buddy the Elf's thinking. He will happily allow trainees into the hallowed hall of The Bill McLaren Press Gallery on work experience, while doing all he can to deny similar access to experienced journalists, who know what they are doing and just might tell it like it is.

It has now reached the stage, the older hands who are still on the approved list tell me, that in EH12, there is barely space for the real journalists, because of all the social media influencers and work experience kids being granted access to the press areas.

BUDDY THE ELF & Co could learn a thing or three from the BKT United Rugby Championship's comms team.

Their press release of the Mosese Tuipulotu red card was a paragon of an easily-read explanation – a graphic outlining clearly how the process worked and the final outcome arrived at. Mind you, there is probably a good reason for this being done in an easy to follow graphic – we do have Saffas involved in the URC and it has to be in a format your average Boer can follow.

 

FINALLY – Congratulations to big John Dalziel in being chosen as part of Andy Farrell's British and Irish Lions Coaching Team.

 

 It has to be said, JD's selection was not met with universal approval in the BTL comments on The Offside Line. However, I put that down to the default position of so-many of Us Jocks, which is: “Him – Ah kent his faither.”

You will not find me among the critics, I have long had a lot of time for John, when he was coaching Melrose, it was always a joy to seek him out for post-match comments, because he always gave you something to work with. With some coaches etc, getting a post-game quote you could use was like pulling teeth, JD was never like this. I am delighted for him at this selection.

 

Time For A Revolution

I HAVE, for a long time, been calling for official recognition, from the Murrayfield Junta, that we are in the time of a two stream game in Rugby Union. This is reflected within Headquarters; where we have the full-time professional administrators and the part-time elected officials, chasing two different outcomes and fighting for the biggest pot of money which they can squander.

Back last century, when Rugby Union was still a strictly Amateur sport, the very essence of the game was in that description: people were involved in Rugby Union out of a love for the game and what it stood for. Yes, we had paid officials at Murrayfield, but, while their professional qualifications as lawyers and accountants had got them into their offices, the over-riding drive to be an SRU official was love of the game.

There wasn't so much money washing around the game back then, but today, Scottish Rugby Union is a £million-plus business, which requires professional administration, which costs, while a spell at the top table in such a national business looks good on any CV. So, instead of enthusiastic amateurs, giving of their time for love of the game, we have career administrators, building wee empires as they build a presence in the corporate world.

[A wee diversion – my Dad was an Area Transport Manager with the National Coal Board. When the NCB was formed, he, with the help of one assistant, and access to the typing pool, administered all road and rail transport for 40 collieries and two hubs – worskhops, stores, offices etc.

When he retired, nearly 30 years later he had a full-time staff of seven, looking after two colliereis and one hub. He always felt the department was over-staffed, but, that's what he had to have.

He also felt, when it came to protecting themselves, managers would over-order sundries and be scared to take risks. As he said, one of the reasons the Coal Board never made money was, hard as every man down the pit worked, and nobody can deny how tough coal-mining ws, the fact was, every miner at the face and underground was carrying eight to ten people on the surface.]

To expand that argument to the SRU, how many people are Zander Fagerson or Darcy Graham carrying? It is the efforts of the Fagersons, Graham, Huw Jones and the other full-time players which attracts people to spend their money on Scottish Rugby. Are they getting the right support from the ”suits” who make a good living from helping them play their best? I know we are supposedly seeing a jobs cull, but, is this rigorous enough?

The question is, are we balancing the needs of a national governing body this century with the financial realities of Scottish life? I don't think we are and this is worrying.

Rugby Union is only the second-biggest team sport in Scotland, falling a long way behind Football. Our two biggest football clubs rely on non-Scottish money to keep them going – and it has to be said, neither is a model of financial probity, so clearly, Scottish Rugby, trying to compete, has a problem, which isn't helped by the fact the national governing body is having to heavily-subsidise the professional club game, simply because no private individual or company in Scotland is daft enough to take-on the risk.

This blog has long argued – no strike that, argued is the wrong word, since nobody can argue against this – that the only tier of Rugby Union which makes money is the International one. Our two clubs, both remember wholly-owned by the SRU itself, are there as a means of keeping our best international players ticking over and ready to play the 11 or 12 international matches they will play in per season.

So, we ought to be tweaking our system to give us the best chance of putting Scotland in a winning position in the only place where winning matters – internationally. The question is – how best to do this?

At grass-roots level, Rugby Union is a game, a recreational activity. But, at professional level, it is a branch of the entertainment industry. So treat professional Rugby Union accordingly.

Your club game is organised, managed and financed at a local level, mainly be enthusiastic amateurs, in the finest tradition of that word, in it for love.

The Scotland team is your National Theatre of Rugby, with a core cast of top-quality players, augmented for the big Gala productions: The Six Nations, the Autumn Tests and the World Cup, by freelance super stars.

Thus, the Glasgow and Edinburgh players are the core cast, Finn Russell, Blair Kinghorn and Ben White are our equivalent of The Three Tenors, able to command big money to come in and sprinkle their star-dust.

In writing this post, I came across a quote from Bristol Honcho Pat Lam, who said in the course of an interview: “That’s why New Zealand rugby was always strong. Everything was geared towards making the All Blacks successful.”

That is one of the areas where Scottish Rugby is falling short – everything in our game is NOT geared towards making Scotland successful. Not everyone appears to be onboard about making our national team as good as it might be.

We have the turf wars within the Murrayfield Junta:

• paid administrators wanting to go down one road, elected officials wanting something else

• seemingly little co-ordination between the Club Rugby Board and the Board of Scottish Rugby Limited

• do these two bodies co-operate as well as they should?

• What is the purpose and power of the Scottish Rugby Union Board?

• How much oversight does that Board actually have?

• What is the Mission Statement of the two pro teams?

• Is it to attempt to win the URC?

• Or is it to prepare players for Scotland?

• If it is the latter, why are we employing non-Scottish players?

To me, it seems, after 30 years of Open Rugby, we still do not have a Plan of Action geared to making Scottish Rugby work. Too much is still left to fate, happenstance, circumstance or whatever. There is a quote from the James Bond episode Goldfinger, in which Auric Goldfinger tells Bond: “A first meeting is happenstance, a second is coincidence, a third meeting is enemy action.”

We have had various different efforts at getting the management of Scottish Rugby in the Open
Era correct, it still isn't working – isn't it about time we identified and dealt with the enemy whose actions are mucking things up for us?

We could start by taking all but a few well-funded, properly run clubs out of the club game and making them the ground floor of the professional game, leaving the rest to organise themselves as Junior Football does, on a regional basis.

If, at the same time, we put together a properly-managed playere pathway which encourages young, Scottish talent, maybe we might get somewhere beyond fourth and occasionally third in the M6N. It's time we stopped proving that things that hae aye been, aye will be.

 

Degrees Of Ugliness

BEING ABLE TO “WIN UGLY” is often quoted as the sign of a good team; in which case, after playing their Get Out Of Jail card to see-off Munster on Friday night via one ugly victory, it has to be conceded that Glasgow Warriors is a good team.

It might also be concluded that Head Coach Franco Smith meets Napoleon's description as: “A Lucky General” inasmuch as the Munster management opted not to recall their Irish squad members for the game, while Warriors' second half surge past their visitors to secure their five points, owed much to the arrival of their own internationalists.

Had Peter O'Mahony – aka “The Great Disruptor” - been in the Munster ranks, while I cannot definitely say the Irish side would have held on to their lead, I firmly believe a Warriors' win would have been less certain.

Even without Grand Vizier POM, Munster did what Munster does, disrupting matters at the breakdown, breaking-up Warriors' rhythm at every opportunity, as well as being typically obdurant throughout.

The lack of top-flight rugby played by so-many of the Warriors' team in recent weeks didn't help either; but, in spite of everything, Warriors got the job done and what was promoted as a Gala Night, with the Ten-Year Reunion of the club's 2015 league-winning squad didn't blow-up in their faces.

John Barclay gave the television Man of the Match award to Sebastian Cancilliere, I may of course be biased, but I felt Stafford McDowall's moments of brilliance, such as his back of the hand off-load for George Horne's record-equalling 54^th try, proved crucial in the final outcome.

Captain Kyle Steyn was, for me, another M-O-M contender. He was an unused peripheral figure in Scotland's M6N squad, which means, his name has not featured in the hypothetical Lions XVs being published in the past week. The “Jockbok” may not, at the moment, feature in such teams, but, if he maintains the form he demonstrated on Friday night, he could well be on the aircraft to Australia, as he offers far-more than some of those being mentioned.

The TOL BTL Forum on the game contained a lot of posts from Warriors' fans criticising the referee and drawing attention to how often the Munster rush defence didn't so-much flirt with as openly seduce the offside line.

This is a common and long-standing view within Scottish Rugby. For my part, I have long called for the AR's in Rugby Union to become as trigger-happy in flagging for Offside as their football brethern used to be, before VAR, semi-automatic offsides and FIBA, that game's ultimate rule-making body, fell into line with every other sports governing body in prefering “deck-chair shuffling” to genuine Law-enforcement action.

Mind you, the AR's who didn't point-out Munster players being offside to the South African referee on Friday night were both Scottish.

The win keeps Warriors on-track for a lofty finishing position in the regular season table, and the subsequent home advantages in the play-offs and with more of the club's Scotland squad members being filtered into the Warriors' squad in the weeks to come, the remaining fixtures will be very-interesting.

WARRIORS' WIN was perhaps: “Ugly”; Edinburgh's loss in Treviso we might classify as: “a coyote.” They, not for the first time this season, forgot the basic rule of sporting performance, by not controlling the controllables.

Edinburgh made too-many mistakes at crucial moments and in the end, in what was a very-close encounter, the fact they made more mistakes than Benetton cost the capital side. The late red card for Mosese Tuipulotu didn't help either.

It was a tough watch, with a slippy ball and not much in the way of entertaining rugby in what was a bit of an arm wrestle. Still, we didn't expect much from the game.

CONGRATULATIONS to Ayr, who will finish top of the pile in this season's Arnold Clark Premiership, following the strong second half showing which saw off nearest rivals Heriot's in their big head-to-head at Millbrae on Saturday.

Victory took Ayr past 100 points for the season, having secured a bonus point in every one of their 21 fixtures to date. If the Millbrae men can score 28 points in their final match, the re-scheduled clash with Selkirk, back at Millbrae, they will pass 1000 points in their 22 league games.

Of course, while they have won the regular season campaign, Ayr will still have to win their two play-off games if they are to claim the crown and the silverware. Surely, however, there is a case for awarding a league flag to the team which finishes top of the pile at the end of the regular fixtures.

End-of-season play-offs are a money-spinning North American construct. Over there, with regional conferences etc, a seven-game head-to-head between the last two standing makes sense; over here, where every team plays every other team home and home, it's all rather messy and unnecessary.

But, since we have them and accidents can happen therein, I see no reason why the regular season top dogs should not have some tangible sign of that success.

WORLD RUGBY appears to me to be attempting to make the game a laughing stock. That's my take on how, Wales, in spite of losing a player to two yellows, were able to replace the recidivist after 20 minutes of playing with 14 players.

OK, the FPRO (Foul Play Review Officer) in “The Bunker” was that well-known chocolate fire guard Ian Tempest. However, much as we would love to blame “Tempo” for yet another decision which hurt Scotland, in this case, he is blameless, as he had no option but to follow World Rugby protocol and call the second yellow a technical red.

But, for me, if a first yellow card is a warning to clean up your act, then a second has to be a full-fat yellow and the perpetrator cannot be replaced. Mind you Tempo was back to his worst when he decided that Scotland's Evie Gallagher should get a red card for dangerous play, after a ruck collapsed and she fell on the leg of a grounded Welsh player.

To me, he got that one wrong, but, when it comes to hurting Scotland, Tempo has a worse record than anything Max Bygraves ever produced.

Still, Scotland won, and deservedly so. Oh! And the BBC commentary was pure shite.

 

Could We Be Heading For a Rugby Green Brigade Or Union Nails?

JUST ABOUT the most-vicious fight I ever saw on the sidelines at a sporting contest involved a couple of angry pensioners, at a Junior Football match, between Arthurlie and Pollok. The Junior game in Scotland used to be a by-word for on and off field violence, as the great Ian “Dan” Archer wryly observed: “the Juniors is the last refuge of the old Clan Wars.”

Speaking of which, the second most-vicious involved players from Auchinleck Talbot and Glenafton Athletic, who subsequently proved to be a winning and very-effective management duo in youth football. Sporting rivalries has a bad effect on people.

You might think, given the game's predelection for violence, the fact that Rugby Union crowds have traditionally been mixed, that there would be much-more crowd violence than there actually is. Yes, I have witnessed England fans at Murrayfield being firmly put in their place by the natives – but only on a very-few occasions was it necessary to bring “The Glesca Kiss” into play, to get the message across to a member of a nation with a notorious inability to accept that other views and opinions are available.

Therefore, I have serious doubts about the good sense involved in having “Away Ends” in play in England's top tier of Club Rugby Union, The Gallagher Premiership. I fear it is yet another example of England's top clubs being wedded to the belief – because Football does something, that must be the correct way to do things.

What I fear is this, “the pack mentality” could take over and with the feeling there is “strength in numbers” - your average English club fan just might quickly evolve into one of the “Ultra” groups, or “Inter-City Firms” of hooligans you find following some English football teams.

Should this happen, however, be aware, Scotland thought of it first. Back last century the great Bill McMurtrie, in a marvellous piece of satirical crystal ball gazing, penned a hilarious piece about thousands of Clarkston fans casuing a bit of bother while in Spain for a Rugby Union Champions Cup Final. All the funnier given Bill was later Secretary of that club.

Mind you, trying to cross-fertalise football's bad behaviour into Rugby Union might not be that easy. I know it is a different game, but, at Test Matches at Leeds' Headingly ground there are two levels of steward. The Level Two stewards all wear red blazers and are very polite and helpful.

The Level One stewards wear taupe blazers and all either are, or appear to be, past of current Rugby League forwards. You mess with these guys at your peril. I imagine, should segregating the away support at top rugby matches go the way I fear it might – cue carnage.

The millionaires and billionaires behind top club rugby in England may pay lip service to the game's values, but, at the end of the day, all that matters to them is the bottom line. They have made a few mistakes over the years, this segregated away support idea is just one more.

JOHN BARCLAY had a good Six Nations, proving once again, if you want a neutral talking head, and certainly not one who will growl “Engurland, Engurland, Engurland” or sing “Delilah” or “The Fields of Athenry” at the drop of a hat, then find a Scot.

But, and I admit it could be my C U Jimmy hat is a bit tight when I say this, I fear he might be falling into the old trap of bigging-up an Englishman just to keep in with the London bosses who hand-out contracts. Why do I say this? Surely, with all his international and club experience, JB is well-aware, Zander Fagerson is a much-better tight-head than England's Will Stuart. So, there has to be an ulterior motive behind him naming Stuart at 3 in his Lions' selection.

Yes, Stuart also had a good Six Nations, but, the elder Fagerson is still the better prop.

A MENAUGE (other spellings are available) is a particularly Scottish concept. The definition, according to the Scottish National Dictionary, reads: “a kind of friendly society or savings club to which each member contributes a fixed sum weekly for a stated period, the members deciding by lot the order in which each is to receive the total contribution for any given week.”

To quote that great Russian philosopher, Aleksandr Orlov: “Simples.” Therefore, we Scots all know what it means when we come up with that great Caledonian put-down: “He/She couldnae run a menauge.”

This is one I use regularly in this blog, particularly when discussing the machinations of the departmental Honcho in the Scottish Rugby Union's Communications Department. OK, given the way things work in EH12, Buddy the Elf as I refer to this Honcho, might not have had the final word on the decision, but, it involves his wee fiefdom, so I feel I can fairly tag him with the ridiculous reason why I must ask this question:

How is it, on the day the top two teams – Ayr and Heriots – are meeting in a game which will effectively decide which of them wins the regular season part of the Arnold Clark Premiership, the meaningless mid-table meeting between Melrose and Hawick will be the live television game?

That decision, like a lot which are made inside the Murrayfield bubble, makes little or no sense. Tomorrow, all roads lead to Millbrae, except for the roads being used by the BBC Alba live broadcasting team.

The television companies would not be ignoring an Old Firm Football match, in favour of, say a Dundee Derby, if the destination of the league title was up for grabs in the Glasgow game. So what does it say about the decision-making process inside Murrayfield, that they can ignore a classic match in which to better promote our game?

What Did He Blow For There?

Lack of Consistency by the Officials In Rugby is killing this Sport...

I DUG THE above headline off an online rugby fans forum a few days ago, then forgot which one – a symptom of life in one's eighth decade! Any way, the headline writer had a point, but still got it wrong. The fault lies not with the officials on the park, but with the law-makers in the committee room.

The reason why Rugby Union has Laws rather than Rules is (supposedly) back in the Golden Age of the British Empire, when new-fangled games such as Football were being codified, it was left to a bunch of lawyers to draw-up the rules. Being lawyers and looking to benefit from the job handed them, they opted for Laws – which have to be argued over and interpreted as to what the person drawing them up actually meant, against Rules – which have to be obeyed to the letter.

This handed the Match Official a degree of discretion as to how he applied a particular law at the time he was asked to adjudicate. All very reasonable, after all, these Victorian lawyers were all reasonable men, except, fast forward 150 years and we find – chaos at times.

I remember, on turning to a Referee Spotter, sitting beside the Press Box in the grandstand at a Premiership game, some years back, asking him why the referee had missed, what I saw as blatant illegality by one side, to instead penalise the opposition, receiving a one-word reply: “materiality”.

My response: “what the fuck is materiality?” resulted in a most-illuminating half-time lecture, which left me considerably the wiser.

As it was explained to me, at every breakdown, a number of law infringements happen:

• players off their feet

• side entry

• players being pinned in

• players sealing off to deny the opposition a fair contest

• hands in the ruck

• opponents being stood on

• (other infringements are available)

If the poor official was to blow his whistle at every infringement, every game would descend to the level of an 80 minute concerto for Acme Thunderer and a lot of unhappy players and spectators. So, the test of a good referee is, that he allows play to flow, the game to develop and – and this next part is crucial: he only penalises those infringements which materially effect the game.

This, let's call it The Law of Materiality pays homage to something those Victorian lawyers, attempting to give the new game legal form were keen on, a fact of Rugby Union life which holds good to this day – that the Referee: “Shall be the sole judge of fact during the game.”

The Victorian law-drafters surely never envisaged television, far-less that 50-years in the future invention being able to catch-out nefarious bad behaviour, missed at the time by the Referee, but caught by another official, sitting in a truck outside the ground. Or a team, believing they had been the victims of uncaught thuggery, complaining to another official, the Citing Officer who reviews the footage a couple of days later and agrees – yes, that player broke the Laws badly and must be punished.

Mind you, I think they would be happy for the King's Counsel picking-up a lucrative brief in defending the miscreant caught on-camera by the Citing Officer. They would, I feel certain, if still around today, be wanting their cut of the action for arguing for and against the player whose yellow card is refered to the Fair Play Review Officer in The Bunker.

This blog has long maintained, World Rugby needs to stop shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic by annual piecemeal laws revisions, which appear to be driven by fashion rather than function. Instead they ought to sit down a high-profile panel, featuring players, referees, administrators, yes even Rugby Union journalists; hand them each a copy of the Laws of the Game and, starting at page one, they go through it and re-write as they see fit.

We then, do not touch whatever they come up with, but play to these re-written Laws for five years, before we revise them, hopefully eliminating the mistakes they have made – we then rinse and repeat until we have a Law Book fit for purpose.

Even then, human nature being what it is, we will still see arguments and disputes over how the match officials interpret and implement these Laws. Because, at the end of the day, one referee's view on materiality will be different from another's. And we can hardly legislate for human error, or for a referee simply having a bad game and getting things wrong.

After all, we don't get the full five stars Finn Russell every game, so why should we expect this from lesser beings because they are carrying a whistle.

I AM ON the BKT United Rugby Championship's list of registered media. As such, I receive regular media releases from the URC media team – who do a really good job of promoting the league.

However, I do note, while the Irish, South African and Welsh teams in the URC are very good at liaising with URC Central in Dublin and getting-out stories about their teams and their players, you don't get a lot of stories about the two Scottish teams.

Of course, since I am a 1984-style “non person” in the fevered mind of the quarter-wit, chocolate fire-guard who is supposed to run the SRU's Communications Department, it might well be that, they send-out press releases to those Scottish Rugby writers who are still considered sound, omitting those of us who are beyond the pale.

What will be will be, but, I just feel, the lack of Scottish stories coming from the official URC channels is perhaps further indication of Murrayfield's Comms department being not fit for purpose. In today's media market, you have to use every possible means of getting your stories out, because while the kids on today's papers and in the broadcast media, while very good at cutting and pasting, are less good at digging-up genuine news stories.

Honest Men, Bonnie Lassies And South Pacific

I WOULD LOVE to know the identity of the Scots lassie who so pissed-off Warren Gatland as to make him totally anti-Scotland when it came to selecting Lions sides. It had to be a Scots lassie – only Scottish females can drive otherwise sane males to that level of senseless fury.

The Gatland Years have well-nigh caused my former love for the British and Irish Lions to evaporate, I now question the continuation of the Lions, in their time-honoured form, and its place in 21^st century Rugby Union. The Lions now, I fear, spread more division and discord than fellowship among the four Home Unions, while their four-yearly rebirth is a jarring note in the midst of a World Cup round. I fear we need to find a new direction and reason for continuing to select Lions parties.

So, now the Guinness Men's Six Nations 2025 has passed into history, the members of the mainstream media's hack pack can indulge themselves by second-guessing Head Coach Andy Farrell as to the names he will announce in mid-May. Long experience has taught me this, any “My Lions XV” named by any of the many ex-players, struggling to remain relevant from the sidelines will bear scant relation to the team Farrell will send out for the First Test Match, in Brisbane, on 19 July, 17 weeks from now.

Indeed, past experience has further taught me, the “First Test XV” named by the press corps, on the day the full squad is announced, will bear little or no relation to the actual team which takes the field. These teams look good on paper, but, actions in training and in the early games, unexpected injuries, plus how each individual player reacts to being a Lion, all these have a part in derailing pre-tour projections.

The Lions' squad will not be announced until 8 May, seven weeks from now. The final of the Investec Champions Cup is nine weeks off. The final of the BKT United Rugby Championship is ten weeks away and England's Gallagher Premiership Grand Final is twelve weeks away. Plenty of scope within that calendar for current “shoo-ins” in the eyes of the commentators to be injured, lose form or otherwise drop out of contention; while, short though the time line is, a couple of “bolters” could yet emerge to grab a late spot on the Tour.

No, picking your Lions team at this stage of the season is a Mug's Game, which is perhaps why the likes of Matt Dawson has already made himself look even sillier. I mean, we all know scrum-halves are wee nyaffs, but, they are supposed to grow out of this.

BORA BORA is the only Pacific Island on my bucket list, but I can safely assume it will not be one of the destinations for the 2025 Scotland Summer Tour; if it was, I would be signing-up to cover the trip.

We know the Tour will begin with a meeting with New Zealand Maori, in New Zealand, followed by two Tests against as yet un-named Pacific Island opponents: perm two from Fiji, Samoa and Tonga I suppose. We also do not have a clue as to the make-up of the touring squad, since it will depend on Lions calls.

There could be as many as ten Scots on Lions duty this sumer. The players I would say are in contention are: Zander Fagerson, Matt Fagerson, Jamie Ritchie, Finn Russell, Duhan van der Merwe, Sione Tuipulotu, Huw Jones, Darcy Graham, Blair Kinghorn and Tom Jordan.

So, if most, if not all of them, are with the Lions – what might the touring party look like? It will be primarily a “Development Tour” so, in naming the players, we will have to balance potential with a spine of seasoned internationalists who can show a good example of what it takes to be a Scotland player. World Rugby ranking points will need defending in the two internationals.

It will also offer opportunities for second line players to step up and fill-in for the front-line players who are with the Lions. So, a tough test of Gregor Townsend's selectorial and man management skills. He will also need a good HOD with the party.

What is a HOD? I hear you ask. HOD is sports culture shorthand for 'Head of Delegation' the Tour Manager who handles the political side of things, leaving the Head Coach and his team to get results on the park. Getting the right HOD is an important, but little-considered part of any tour.

Then there is the choice of Captain. I have not named Rory Darge among my portenital Lions, given he is competing for one of the most-hotly-contested positions. He could yet go, but, if not, I suspect he, or perhaps Kyle Steyn will wear that mythical Captain's Armband on the tour.

MEMORY TELLS ME it was that dear old Queen, Oscar Wilde, who opined: “The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about.” If dear Oscar was correct, young Iain Hay and David Barnes of The Offside Line must be feeling good about themselves today.

Young Master Hay has generated a great deal of traffic towards the TOL site, thanks to his player rankings from Saturday's France v Scotland match in the Guinness Men's Six Nations.

I do not always agree with Iain's writings, and my mental player ratings from the game differed from his, but, I will defend to the death his right to write them. In journalism, there is a huge difference between Fact and Opinion. For instance, it was an irrefutable fact that Tom Jordan's second half try for Scotland was disallowed, because Blair Kinghorn was in-touch before off-loading in the build-up.

There is, however, an opinion – that because Karl Dickson, the Assistant Referee, was slow to indicate Kinghorn was in-touch and play continued beyond two phases, the legality or otherwise of the try ought not to have been referred to the TMO over the Kinghorn in-touch incident.

Similarly, Iain's opinion of how each Scotland player had performed in Paris was just that, his opinion, an opinion which he is free to make. By all means disagree with what Iain thought; by all means give your opinion on TOL, but, PLEASE: if you're going to contribute to TOL, the age-old advice: “engage brain before hitting keyboard” has to be respected.

That advice should go too to the contributors to another TOL thread, Alan Lorimer's excellent match report from Saturday's Hawick v Ayr match in the Arnold Clark Premiership.

 

 

WHITABOOTERY in Scottish Sport is generally to be found in exchanges between the keyboard warrior division of the rival Old Firm Fans Armies. However, the Teries and the Honest Men, with the help of a few bystanders from elsewhere, have been giving it large since No Side on Saturday.

I am well aware that Ayr has a lunatic fringe in their support, they also have a cadre of Glory Hunters. The same might well be said of Hawick. I have in the past seen and heard examples of bad behaviour from the Millbrae grandstand which were cringe-worthy. I have also, from the grandstand at Mansfield Park, seen similar stupidity from the Hawick faithful.

I still recall, some years back, watching Carlin Isles, playing for Ayr, absolutely skin half the Hawick team at Mansfield, before losing control of the ball as he touched down for a try which never was. His faux pas was greeted by some disgraceful mock applause from one or two of the Hawick team. By the same standards, I have witnessed similar bad behaviour by men in pink and black.

As I have said in another post recently, and as the BTL comments on these two stories demonstrate all-too-clearly, Steve Coogan nailed it in one and yes, “everybody's a bit of a C#nt sometime.”