Time To Cull The Rupert

FOR the benefit of those readers who never served Queen and Country - a "Rupert" is a public school-educated officer in a Scottish regiment. These chaps, quite often Anglo-Scots attracted amazing degrees of loyalty from their "Jocks", who would, so the "Ruperts" would tell ladies at cocktail parties in English shires, London salons and the shooting lodges of Perthshire: "follow me anywhere".

At the same time, in the public bars of Glasgow and in assorted farming and mining villages or in the textile towns of the Borders, the self-same Jocks were assuring their civvie pals: they had only followed the "Ruperts" out of some morbid fascination and to discover which particular heap of shite they would be required to fight their way out off.

As I survey the state of Scottish rugby in 2011, I sometimes ask myself - with the contraction of our army, have the "Ruperts" all signed-up for the SRU rather than the HLI, KOSB and so-forth?

There are some good guys at Murrayfield - just not many and not enough. I thought perhaps it was maybe simply the natural disdain of the journalist for the people we are dealing with, until I bought Ian McGeechan's autobiography 'Lion Man' and virtually read it in a single sitting.

'Geech' has been there, done that, got the t-shirt, the DVD, the medals, the knighthood. One wonders what this Yorkshire-born son of an Argyll and Sutherland Highlander from Govan might have made of the English rugby team.

Considering, on the back of a year or two in Corstorphine as a primary school boy, Clive Woodward won England a World Cup - what might McGeechan's mix of Govan gallusness and Yorkshire bloody-mindedness have done for the world's most-popular sporting villains?

What might McGeechan have made of a Scottish football team - a Leeds upbringing on top of Govan genes - that's one potent mix. He did a not-bad job on Scottish rugby and the McGeechan-Telfer coaching team would, I warrant, give even Clough and Taylor or Shankly and Paisley a run for their money.

Reading 'Lion Man' one thing struck me - he has the scars to remind him - but he is clearly no fan of the way Murrayfield has handled professional rugby.

McGeechan moved on in disgust. Telfer was happy to get out and into retirement. Andy Irvine has happily gone off to concentrate on the Lions. Peter Brown was rejected, ditto Findlay Calder. John Jeffery is largely side-lined, similarly Gavin Hastings. Jim Aitken and David Sole they don't let inside the door. David Leslie's health probably isn't up to the demands which would be asked. That's an impressive pile of side-lined knowledge and talent.

Ian McLauchlan, hopefully, has one year left in which to try to sort out a real mess - if wee Beastie cannot put things right - I shudder and fear for the future.

We simply MUST sort-out Murrayfield, quickly. Let's cull the Ruperts - NOW.