Time To Break The Habit Of A Lifetime

I am not a fan of hypothetical Lions Test XVs. There is one simple reason for this, even when the final touring party is announced and they arrive in either Australia, New Zealand or South Africa, picking the first Test XV is still fraught with danger.

For instance, in 1971, Ray McLaughlin and Sandy Carmichael were pencilled-in as the Test props. Then came the Canterbury game and both were out of the Tour, leaving Ian McLauchlan and Sean Lynch to take the jerseys.

So, I never pick a hypothetical Lions XV. However, this year, I have decided to do this, and my trigger was a memory of going into the old Herald building in Mitchell Street one night in December, 1974 or maybe 1975.

“Dan” Archer came up with the notion of a New Year competition, this would involve picking an all-time Scotland football team, to most-closely match one to be selected – over a good lunch – by Dan and Scotland boss Willie Ormond.

The prize was a case of whisky and such was the interest, the competition got more responses than any Herald competition, before or since. You literally could not see the surface of the Sports Desk, and the pile of entries was of Everest proportions.

Poor Dan had to wade through them all, but, he picked-out one losing entry for special mention, and I seem to recall, he sent the entrant – a chap from Hamilton I seem to remember - a consolation bottle of whisky for his chutzpah.

But common consent, he picked the worst team of Scottish internationalists that could be imagined. The team started: Frank Haffey, Bobby Shearer, Davie Provan – then went down hill.

So, I have taken a similar approach to picking my 2021 Lions Test XV, which, in 1-15 order is:

Joe Marler, Elliot Dee, Simon Berghan, Adam Beard, Devon Toner, James Botham, Brad Shields, Josh Strauss; Henry Pyrgos, Owen Farrell, Jacob Stockdale, Manu Tuilagi, Ollie Lawrence, Jonny May, Mike Brown.

Well, it's no sillier a selection than some I've seen. I was, however, sorely tempted to pick Six Nations' Player of the Tournament HAMISH WATSON, seeing as so-many erudite and unbiased English commentators have been telling us he's useless and picking about a dozen English club players ahead of him in their selections.

THE Junta has seen fit to release the minutes of the last meeting of the SRU Board, interesting they are too. Of particular interest to me, is the decision to switch Stirling County from being a notional “North and Midlands” club to being a “Glasgow North” club.

With the suggestion that the FOSROC Super6 is set to become the Super8, this is intriguing.

• Does this mean the controversial plan for a Scotstoun-based S8 side has been quietly dropped?

• Where does this leave the whole of Scotland north of the River Forth – is the SRU writing-off all these clubs as incapable of producing good players?

I think we need clarity of thinking (no tittering at the back there) from inside BT Murrayfield. The Council members should have some hard questions for The Junta, while being ready to answer some themselves from the clubs.

No word either in the minutes about how those welcome £20 million in government grtants and loans will be spent. Well, I could hazard a guess or two.

• Refurbishment of TCD's office suite

• Ditto for whoever replaces the now-departed Dom McKay

• New top of the range cars for those two paid officials, plus maybe the new bean counter in-chief.

• Pay-offs to some of the failures, starting with Warriors' coach Danny Wilson. His jaiket has to be on a shoogly peg after recent results.

• The cost of recruiting Wilson's replacement.

All of that should get rid of a million or two, fairly easily. Also, I dare say TCD will need a wee trip to South Africa this summer, to check-out the Lions Tour. And, since he cannot go it alone, I suppose Super Trougher, our beloved Chairman JJ, who, as Lion number 607 has more right to be on the trip than TCD.

A wee trip to Africa, all-expenses-paid for those two, will be further good use for the cash.