'Struth Mate - We're Up Shit Creek Without A Paddle

OCCASIONALLY, one finds oneself longing for the old days, when telephone boxes were red, passports were dark blue, maps were mostly pink, the lower orders knew their place and foreigners began at Calais.

Back then, we had Royal Mail, and if someone wished to make a point about a rugger international, which they had watched on their 12 or 14 inch screen, black and white television, commentary by Peter West; they had to get out the Basildon Bond, make sure the Parker 51 had sufficient ink, then pen their thoughts in longhand. They then had to pop these thoughts into an envelope, purchase a stamp, place the letter into a post box and after the Royal Mail had done their thing, hope the Letters Editor of their newspaper of choice was inclined to select the missive for publication – at least two or three days after the event.

Today, even before the TMO has talked the referee through the fifth or sixth different angle on a contentious point, confirming beyond reasonable doubt that the official's decision to disallow the try was correct, several thousand irate fans have taken to social media to condemn the poor ref, as: in the pay of the home side's union, unfit to be in-charge of the game, blind, totally biased, or all four.

We are repeatedly told: “Refereeing mistakes even themselves out over time.” If that's the case, I am running out of time to see all the officiating errors which have gone against Scotland corrected, but, I live in hope.

In any case, I long ago realised, while referees, like players, can have off days and get things wrong, most of rugby's officiating controversies stem from bad or ill-considered Laws rather than bad referees. Yes, I realise that still fails to fully explain John Lacey, George Clancy and Matthew Carley. I have seen great referees, good referees, even a few bad referees, but, I've only ever seen one supposedly neutral referee I knew immediately to be “bent” and favouring one of the clubs, and he was Scottish.

I pen these points in the wake of the weekend's internationals and the loud choruses of: “We wuz robbed,” from the descendants of those intrepid settlers, chosen to pacify and advance Australia fair by the cream of the British judiciary. The even louder claims of being robbed, from The Taffia, we can ignore. We all know, you never beat Wales, you only score more points than them, as the Saffers did on Saturday.

Of course, when you consider other issues, not least “Elfen Safety,” badly-worded or badly-applied Laws are the least of the game's problems.

Or are they? I am again indebted to friend of the blog “Left Field,” for sending me some Australian research on the ills of the game. I am still ploughing through a lot of intense detail, but, already a few pointers from this jump out at me.

Did you know, for instance:

• There are 199 possible infringements in Rugby Union

• 149 of these can be punished by a penalty

• That's 75% of the possible offences have the potential to cost a team the game

• At the first Rugby World Cup, in 1987, the average whistle-to-feed time at a scrum was 23 seconds.

• At the 2019 RWC, the average whistle-to-feed time at a scrum was 56 seconds.

• In the recent All Blacks v Pumas Rugby Championship game, there were 13 scrums, which accounted for over 21 minutes of the 80 minutes playing time.

• That breaks down to 96 seconds per scrum.

• On average, over the 2020 Rugby Championship, the ball was in-play for less than 40% of the time, with the average game lasting just over 84 minutes.

• In comparison, in the NRL, the main Australian Rugby League competition semi-finals, the ball was in-play for 75% of the 80 minutes game time.

As an example of how the game has changed, particularly since professionalism:

• At the 1987 RWC, there were on-average 28 scrums, 34 lines-out and 38 breakdowns (rucks and mauls) per game.

• In 1991 the same figures were 30 scrums, 29 lines-out and 54 breakdowns

• In 1995, the statistics were 23 scrums, 33 lines-out, 55 breakdowns

• In 1999, the figures were 19 scrums, 29 lines-out, 95 breakdowns

• In 2019, they were 10 scrums, 21 lines-out, 169 breakdowns

As was shown above, there are 199 possible infringements in any given rugby match. Of these 149 carry the sanction of a penalty. Of these possible 199 penalty infringements, 145 of them, 73% occur at either the scrum the line out or at the breakdown, in rucks, mauls and tackles.

Now, you cannot blame a team for kicking goals when the opportunity presents itself, but, maybe too-many technical infringements are bringing penalties. Take away some of the temptation to kick for goal from a technical penalty, and we might have a faster, more-open, more-entertaining game.

The Australian research also points out, in Australian Rules Football, one of Rugby Union's associated forms of football, playing time is also 80 minutes – although split into 4x20 minute quarters, rather than Rugby Union's 2x40 minute halves – but, the difference is, in Aussie Rules, those 80 minutes are “ball in play” time.

The referee blows his whistle, the clock stops. The ball goes out of play, it stops. I accept, there might be a case for following Aussie Rules down the route of quarters rather than halves, but, surely it is time we looked at going to ball-in-play time rather than overall match time.

For instance, for Saturday's game between Scotland and South Africa, there are only a limited number of tickets available, costing £27 each. This means, you are being charged just under 34 pence per minute to watch the game.

However, if you factor-in the usual delays in re-setting scrums after collapses, those union mass meetings of the packs before a line-out, the place kickers' pre-kick rituals etc., the reality is, in real terms, you're actually paying 84 pence per minute to watch the action.

I think it's long past time we took some action on the “dead time' in games.