Which is Worse - a Blind Irish Referee or a Welsh Alickadoo?

I love the Welsh - because they're the only people Fifers can look down on as thick-as-two-short-plank inbreds. They are the world's worst winners (Celtic fans are the world's worst losers btw). I lived amongst them for a year and have still to meet a Taff with two active brain cells.

So, I am not surprised that they have announced a youthful Six Nations squad, minus the name of Stephen Shingler of London Irish. If I had just won a nationality tug-of-war over a player, I'd make bloody sure he was in my squad and on the field at the end of the opening game of the tournament.

But, nobody in Wales has been that smart - which leads me to believe - they are being deliberately obstructive towards the SRU.

WHEN you are covering football, you soon learn not to approach a referee for clarity on a decision - their word is law and they will not speak to the general public, far less a journalist, to explain any decision.

So, it is great to be back doing rugby and to be able to appraoch a match referee after a game and have a perhaps contentious decision explained.

I was at Ayr v Stirling County on Saturday and thought Gary Gordon, the match referee, had got one big decision wrong - so, in the bar after the game, I asked him about it - got a full explanation and, on reflection, can only congratulate him on a brilliant piece of on his feet thinking.

We are harsh on our home-grown referees, often rightly so, but, in this instance, well done Mr Gordon.

And, by the way, the worst referee I have seen this season was a highly-rated Irish referee, who seems to me to be a shoo-in candidate for a place in Max Boyce's Sunshine Home in Dublin.



Ball Carrier - Mossy Deserves Better

I CAN still remember the last time the Commonwealth Games were held in Scotland, in 1986. The build-up was shambolic, the whole thing was hijacked by "Cap'n Bob" - Robert Maxwell and, looking back, it would perhaps have been best if we had simply said: "forget it".

 Anyway, the opening ceremony was cringe-inducing, including such "highlights" as Nessie (Loch Ness Monster) going round the track and Sir Yehudi Menhuen, in a top of the range Moss Bros hired kilt, joining a Scottish Country Dance band to play for an eightsome reel, danced by some of the strictly White Heather Club members of the Royal Scottish Country Dance Society.

But, the most-cringe-inducing part of that ceremony came at the very end, when the person chosen to carry the baton containing the Queen's message to the rostrum, where it was ceremonially handed to "Chooky Embra", entered the stadium.

The baton carrier was Allan Wells and I think only Liz Lynch (as the apparently soon to be ex-Mrs McColgan was then) got a bigger roar - when she won the 10,000 metres.

Wells might have been in the twilight of a stellar career, and indeed, he had not been chosen for the Scotland team for those games, but he was still bigger than the rest of the Scotland team.

I re-hash this story as a cautionary note to the SRU. It is a good move to allow the Scottish public to give Mossy a final cheer and to thank him for all he has done for Scotland and Scottish rugby - but, getting him to walk onto the park and hand over the match ball. Nope, doesn't work for me.

When I was a boy, internationalists were tough, self-reliant men. At half time, they stood, on the pitch, they ate their organges, listened to the captain, then got back to the business of winning. Simpler days but at least you had someone to watch as you waited for the resumption of hostilities.

Today, off the troop to be cosseted by their massive support staffs, leaving the field to the ministrations of the ground staff.

Why not bring Mossy out then, and have HRH the Princess Royal give him his MBE, or a special cap, then we can give him a proper cheer and the right send-off.

But, to save the referee - who is going to shaft Scotland at the first opportunity in any case - having to carry on the match ball. FFS, Mossy's better than that.

AS A fully-paid-up member of the Honourable Order of Front Five Donkeys, I bow to no-one in my respect for props and am fully aware that props are the most-intelligent members of any team.

The Blessed Chunk might not appear as such, but, for a boay frae the 'pans who at five-foot-ten square was clearly meant for service as a mobile auxiliary pit prop at Monktonhall - to be able to do joined-up writing and deliver an autograph is no mean feat.

However, with Moray Low's injury, the elevation of rocket scientist Ed Kelman to the national squad to join Dr Geoff Cross and qualified vet Euan Murray means that the right-hand side of the Scottish front row is now one seriously-clever area.



TOLD you - pardon the smugness,but I did reckon last week the seven games of the Premier A campaign would see some shock results. But, over the next rounds of matches, is anything likely to surpass for shock value the way Dundee HSFP over-turned that 26 point half time deficit at the Greenyards?

Jock Craig came over to the press box at no side at Millbrae on Saturday to enquire if we had heard anything, he had had a text telling him of the turn-around. We didn't believe it until Ron Evans's man at the game called him with the news - Shockeroonie indeed.

Nae Luck Son - You're Welsh

MY old mucker the blessed Tam Shields, back in the day when he ran the Herald Diary, instituted many prestigious awards, not least Mason of the Month and non-Mason of the Month. Tam also used to occasionally dole-out his Nae Luck awards. Were he still McPepys, rather than having morphed into the Herald's Grumpy Old Git, Tam the Tim might well today be sending a Nae Luck award to London Irish's Steven Shingler.

Apparently, the dear boy is now officially "Welsh", since the Taffia family, having more clout with the IRB, has seen-off the Scotia Nostra's efforts to have the boy play in blue, rather than red.

As a firm adherent to the Sir Alex Ferguson ductum that we Scots are "The Master Race", well, poor wee Steven hasnae made the cut. Which is his loss. Mind you, with a maw frae Langholm, his qualifications were always suspect.

BACK to real rugby tomorrow, with the restart of the Premier campaign and part two - Premier A. In all honesty, the title is Melrose's to lose, but, back-to-back successes for the Greenyards Gany can not be taken as a given. There were a few shocks in the first stage of the campaign and hopefully, we will see even more of these in part two. I for one am looking forward to the resumption of hostilities.

Sadly, this season has seemed particularly fragmented and the SRU and the clubs simply have to sit down and come-up with a long-term plan which allows the clubs to know who they will be playing and when.

At club level, we now have a level of professionalism which was unimagineable when league rugby started - sadly, and I say this with due deference to the advances being made under the new regime at Murrayfield, the SRU is still some way off the pace in providing the slick, professional leadership the game needs in the 21st century. They are making-up for lost time, but have a wee bit still to go. That said, for all their faults, the SRU is still a much better governing body than their cousins across at Hampden, so we should be thankful for small mercies.

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AM I the only Scot enjoying the distress of our neigbours across the Solway in matters rugby. They had a poor World Cup, allegedly. That is to say, they didn't win it - terrible bad form of those New Zealanders, Frenchmen, Australians and Welshmen in not appreciating they were supposed to let the chaps in white win.

They have now, belatedly, come to their senses and chopped down some of the dead wood and their new-look squad could, if allowed to bed-in, give them a real chance in the next World Cup. I also like the cut of new coach Lancaster's jib.

In any sensible country, his new squad would be excused the early defeats, would be allowed to gel and mature and would be encouraged. Sadly, with England, the need to win and confirm that, the English do it best and God is an Englishman always intrudes, failure, no matter how glorious, is not allowed.

Which means, if, as I believe we can, we stuff them in the Six Nations opener, Mr Lancaster's hard job, suddenly becomes even harder. There again, given the way the political temperature has been hotting-up since the turn of the year; while things are unlikely to become as fraught as they did in 1990 - that opening game could require flak jackets and steel helmets in the press box

Does He Look Scottish

THE current dispute between Scotland and Wales over the eligibility of London Irish centre Steven Shingler will exercise the brains of the IRB this week.

One might have thought that after the Welsh RU's problems over what is now known as "Grannygate" and Scotland's embarrassement following the discovery that Dave Hilton ought never to have been capped by Scotland, due diligence would have been exercised before Shingler was named in the preliminary Six Nations training group.

This was brought home to me this morning, while following She Who Must Be Obeyed round some charity shops in Ayr. My partner is a zealot when it comes to seeking-out real bargains in such establishments and the pair of brand new, leather gloves which she found for me today definitely comes under such a heading.

But, for me the real find of this morning's trawl was a book: 'The Rugby Union Football Book', published in 1968 by Purnell. The blurb on the front describes the book as: "Rugby's leading commentators on the modern game, the way it is played and its clubs, coaches and outstanding personalities" - edited by Jack Cox.

Cliff Morgan, Vivian Jenkins, JBG Thomas, Michael Green, David Frost, Rupert Cherry, they, and others contributed and already, I have found some gems in there. At £2, a veritable bargain - almost as good as the rare Jimmy Greenwood coaching book which I got for 50p in a second-hand book shop in Wigtown last year.

One article which had me chortling was on page 91. There was no by-line, which makes me think Editor Cox had written it, but this short article calls for revision of the qualification rules for international sides.

The story refers to how London Welsh teams of the time had a few players who were not "Welsh" in the accepted sense. There is a reference too to John Robins, who won a "Victory" cap for England in 1945, before in 1950, winning the first of his 11 Welsh caps and going on the 1950 Lions Tour as: JD Robins (Birkinhead Park and Wales), appearing in five of the Lions' international on that tour.

Then there was oor ain Dr Doug Keller, who played in all five internationals for Australia on their 1947-48 tour to the British Isles and France, remained in London and won seven caps for Scotland, even captaining the team.

So, dual-nationality internationalists are nothing new and, the fact that it was being openly discussed forty-odd years ago merely indicates two things - the Shingler case is not new and, it is way past time for rugby to tighten-up international eligibility rules.

Hot Stuff From Currie

THERE is an interesting piece on the Currie RFC web page at the moment, which I feel ought to be required reading for all officials of the top clubs in Scotland. The writer makes the point about the hit-and-miss nature of the fixture list since the end of RBS Premier 1 rugby in November and prior to next week's resumption of hostilities in Premier A and B.

The writer concludes that, with next season's format change to just two, ten-club Premier Leagues, things are unlikely to get better in the short term, indeed, the writer fears increased fixture chaos in years to come.

As someone who covers both football codes, might I suggest that senior rugby in Scotland is, today, in a similar position to where senior football was here when the Scottish League was formed in 1890.

Prior to that date, football teams were "clubs" - organised and run by committees, often the club officials and the players were the same people; there was a dependance on volunteers and while some playes were paid, they were in the minority.

In the Edwardian period these "clubs" by and large became businesses - and I appreciate here this timescale is a bit elastic - at the top level there was virtually no place for the amateur, regardless of his talent and we were at the head of the slippery slope leading to the depths wherein Scottish football is to be found today.

By holding back the process of professionalisation for a century longer than football managed, generations of rulers of rugby might be excused, as they look down on today's game from the great dirty bar in the sky, for wondering if it was worth it.

Aside from the fact that the men holding the purse strings are largely English, is there much difference between the English football and rugby Premierships? Both bodies are paying silly money for over-hyped players, the top clubs are in-thrall to benefactors who could withdraw their financial safety nets at a moment's notice and who are more concerned about their own wee kingdom than the overall state of the game in their country.

It's not as bad up here, or in Ireland and Wales, where the national governing bodies control the purse strings, but, our set-up is far from ideal.

On the one hand, Edinburgh and Glasgow, like Celtic and Rangers in football, are geared-up to competing in Europe, but, for the long-term, greater good of Scottish Rugby, we probably need at least one more, if not two more full-time professional sides playing in an expanded Pro12 and providing a home for our top players.

I doubt, however, if Scotland could support four full-time pro sides and, given what happened when it was tried in Edinburgh, long, careful and detailed consultations between entrepreneur and SRU would be needed before a home-based Brian Kennedy or a rugby loving David Murray put real money into another Scottish pro side.

The link between the two pro sides and the top clubs is improving, but we've got a long way to go to get it right.

But, to return to the top club sides - the likely lads who will be in Premier 1 and 2 next season. Might I suggest they need to up their game. These clubs are now more-reliant on sponsorship, gate money and the like than ever before. Their first XV players no longer have to pay a match fee (even if that's only to buy the beer). They get strips, boots, kit hold-alls, track suits and so forth provided - in my day, we bought our own. The expenses are much better, as is the physiotherapy care.

But, all this has to be paid for, which means better spectator facilities, better media relations, working harder and smarter.

Perhaps the time is nigh for the SRU, in consultation with the Premier Clubs, to set-down minimum standards for Premier clubs' grounds and other facilities. Given there doesn't seem to be a great interest in summer rugby, shouldn't the top teams, as happens with football's SPL, be required, as a condition of membership of the Premiership, to have pitch protection in place.

For instance, I spend a lot of my season covering Ayr. They are now the premier sports club in that town, but, while the Millbrae stand is newer and doesn't lead much (other than the annoying drip onto where I used to park my lap top case), it isn't as well-appointed a stand as the one at Somerset Park (which, if you believe the Glasgow media should have a preservation order on its ramshackleness). The standing facilities at Millbrae are worse than at Somerset Park, which is known as "The Piggery" by those upper class smarties who follow Kilmarnock.

Ayr are a top club, running it costs a pretty penny, but perhaps, were some of the funds to be diverted into a Millbrae upgrade, the club could, in the long run, make even more money and be even stronger.

That said, I know Billy McHarg, Jock Craig & Co are looking at perhaps moving to a new, purpose-built ground, as the cheaper and better option.

THERE is not a lot one can say about the squad which Andy Robinson has announced for the first two Six Nations matches - other than to (again) speculate as to what Johnnie Beattie has done to move so-far out of the international picture. To me the younger Beattie is the personification of that old adage about form being temporary, whilst class is permanent. I fear he might, like his father before him, finally retire without nearly as many caps as his talent deserved - without his father's excuses of severe injury and the emergence of Iain Paxton, a player every bit as talented.

I do, however, feel that Robinson has been over-loyal to one or two players who are if not past their sell-by date, at least on their "best before" limit. Simon Danielli, for instance, has to my mind seldom done his talent justice in a full Scotland jersey; his place might have gone to another, younger back.

Why is Dan Parks still there? He is 33-years-old now, I would rank him behind Jackson, Weir and Laidlaw when it comes to the number ten shirt - so, why, for all the points he has scored for Scotland, is he still being picked?

Up front, we must continue to pray for the on-going good health of the mighty 'Chunk', because, for all his running ability with ball in hand, Alasdair Dickinson, to my mind, isn't an international-class scrummager. Better I feel to promote either or Jon Welsh or Kyle Traynor, both of whom are younger, as back-up to 'Chunk' and give them game time in the final quarter to pick-up experience.

Ross Ford is so-comfortably ensconsed as our first-choice hooker than, it really is time we looked beyond him. The two back-up hookers will not improve, a chance to get a younger hooker - somebody like Glasgow's Pat McArthur in, as third-choice, has been missed. These points apart, as I have said, I don't see much wrong with the squad.

We now have to look at another point, the captaincy. I must admit to being an Al Kellock fan, but, the fact he isn't an automatic first point is seen by some as a problem. Well, what's wrong with having Big Al as the squad captain and, should he not be on from the start, the captaincy - how I hate that footballing affixation beloved of our younger rugby writers: "the arm band" - should maybe go to whoever is our starting scrum half, since whichever one of Blair, Cusiter, Laidlaw or Lawson wears nine will be well-nigh running things anyway.

If we have to go for an automatic pick, then it has to be either Kelly Brown or John Barclay - although, given Ross Rennie's RWC performances Barclay's place is apparently no longer set in stone, with Ross Ford as the outsider.

I am looking forward to the 2012 Six Nations. I honestly believe we can make a winning start against what I feel will be a new-look and hesitant England and if we can kick-on from there, who knows. Celebrating a Grand Slam in Rome would be a spring treat to remember. 

A Happy New Year

NEW year, new resolution - to inflict my thoughts on Scottish Rugby on the public with a bit more regularity than in 2011. And why not, after the Rugby World Cup, there is a new air of hope abroad in the game up here. Sure, we will soon be losing Richie Gray to the fleshpots of Greater Manchester, but, the Lamont brothers have discovered - it's not always better away from Scotland, and we look forward to them bringing new resolution and strength to the Glasgow Warriors in the remainder of the season.

Glasgow of course won the two-legged battle for the 1872 Cup and are currently ahead of Edinburgh in the Celtic League. It is difficult to see either of our professional sides making it through to the knock-out stages of the Heineken Cup, but one or other, or if the results fall the correct way, both, may yet feature in the later stages of the Amlin Cup - an outcome which would be good for Scottish rugby.

We have for the first time in what seems like a while, some promising young players starting to emerge, but, we desperately need a good young, loose head prop - since, should any ills befall the esteemed "Chunk" in the remaining weeks of the season: we're up yon smelly creek without a paddle. Can I also offer a prayer here for the discovery, soon, of the real Johnnie Beattie - what a difference that would make to our Six Nations hopes.

Finally in this section - am I the only one who hopes for a good win, with two or three tries thrown in, from our opening Six Nations clash with England, at Murrayfield on 4 February. The pressure will all be on the visitors in this match, and if, as I believe we can, we send them homeward tae think again, it could kick-start something special for us in 2012.

MEANWHILE - in the everyday world of play for fun club rugby, Premier A will shortly kick-off; that frenetic seven game rush to the Championship. When Premier 1 closed down after the initial run of games, it seemed that the title was Melroses's to lose, with few, if any, commentators thinking of anything other than a second successive crown for Chick Chalmers and his merry men. Then Gala prised the McLaren Shield away from the Greenyards on Boxing Day and Selkirk gave Melrose a scare in an otherwise meaningless Borders derby, suddenly impressions are being re-evaluated. These next few games could be very interesting indeed.

Still on the club scene, Ayr, Currie and Melrose had their moments in the British and Irish Cup, but none of the trio made it through to the knock-out stages. It seemed to me that the revamped format this season was far from ideal - in fact, it struck me as almost a typical IRB balls-up, except the IRB had nothing to do with it. Well, that has to be a good thing, it shows that a new range of incompetent administrators is apparently being trained to take over, once the current lot are finally led, still foaming at the mouth, are led away to the eventide home for burned-out Bufties.

One of the good things to emerge from the B&I Cup, was the way the three clubs were assisted by the SRU, in getting otherwise resting pros from Edinburgh and Glasgow into their squads. This sort of co-operation offers a win-win situation for both parties and must be encouraged. Where once the professional sides were seemingly on a different planet from the clubs, today there is greater mutual assistance, which can only benefit Scottish Rugby.

BUT, enough of this positivity. There is still much to concern one about the health of Rugby - not least the on-going travails of referees. The scrum, even at top club level, is now becoming well-nigh unworkable. Between repeated cave-ins, squint feeding and the fact that most referees haven't a clue what is going on, what used to be one of the best things about rugby, is now a bloody great scar on its face - please IRB - get it sorted.

The same plea goes out too as regards the ruck. I played for a club which measured itself by the ferocity of the forward rucking and it fair makes me greet to see how this essential part of the game has been rendered unworkable by poor law, poorly-applied.

I accept, the English and the Welsh never have understood the ruck, have never liked it and want it done away with, but, surely it can be resurrected and brought back. With today's wall-to-wall TV coverage, certainly at the top end, the sort of stamping which used to go on cannot happen today. The stampers would soon be fingered and (hopefully) driven out of the game. So please, IRB, let's have proper rucking again.

If we cannot, can we please get rid of the hapless Paddy O'Brien and the other referees who are holding back the game?