Chris Rattue Rattles Gatlandball

SHOCK Jocks have been around for years – radio djs or presenters who deliberately set-out to shock, or wind-up their audience. Some newspaper columnists might well be described as “shock hacks” - think of Katie Hopkins or Rod Liddle for instance.

In the specialist field of rugby journalism, however, nobody does it better than the New Zealand Herald's Chris Rattue – who has largely built a career on winding-up and pissing off Australians, Englishmen and Welshmen. This week, he turned his ire on a New Zealander with a strong Welsh connection – it was lovely, it was also, and this is typical Rattue - pish. Rattue, as ever, played it largely for laughs, but failed to answer Gatland's point.

He went on about arrogant All Blacks, not an accusation Gatland - himself of course a former AB - made; but, Rattue totally ignored the target Gatland had had a go at - arrogant All Blacks fans.

Cards on the table, I am not a Warren Gatland fan; never have been. I fear for the Lions, under Gatland's coaching in New Zealand next summer. Mind you, since the signs are, even if Vern Cotter was to sign-off as Scotland coach by winning a Grand Slam, Gatland will not be taking too-many Scots to his homeland next summer. Which could be good for Scotland.

Any way, Gatland made some not entirely unreasonable observations as regards a small percentage of the All Blacks support this week, which immediately got Chris Rattue on his case. Of course, there are arrogant All Blacks supporters, but, there are even more (in number and level of arrogance) arrogant South African supporters, a greater number still of England supporters, while, if the English are the worst losers in the world, well, nobody can come near the Welsh as the world's worst winners.

To be fair, further down the article, Rattue put the boot into this ludicrous "Scotland" Rugby League team, which nobody but Kevin Ferrie appears to take seriously. It was an uneven piece, let's hope Chris was merely warming-up for summer 2017 – the series could be fun.

“CHIC” Chalmers, last week, was bemoaning his beloved Melrose's lack of interest in being part of the re-born South team, which will shortly face Caledonia in a challenge match. I agree with him, I would love to see the re-birth of the old Inter-District Championship, bringing together the best players from the various Premiership and National League teams, and it is sad that Melrose, the standard-bearers for South rugby, has chosen to remain aloof from this match.

If nothing else, such a series might help select the Scotland Club XV – and, by the way, can I make a case for the SRU putting greater resources behind that XV. Get them more games, and, why not an amateur or more-accurately semi-professional Six Nations. I reckon our guys would have a chance, after all, they beat England and Ireland last season.

ONE of the busiest and hardest-working of the young guns who man Scottish rugby's press boxes these days said, earlier this season: “Old Aristotle picks his nose, then scratches his arse and what comes out, be prints in his blog”. Such erudite praise from one so young.

Anyway, with the increasingly football-obsessed mainstream media in Scotland paying less and less attention to rugby, and missing a lot of good stories in the process, rugby needs an online presence which compliments the propaganda of the official SRU sites.

It is for this reason that I will continue to champion The Offside Line, the excellent rugby news website presided over by big David Barnes. I think big Barney is doing a wonderful job and I cannot recommend his site too-highly.

This week he started a serialisation of Jeff Connor's unpublished account of the 2005 Lions Tour to New Zealand – 'One Knight, Forty-Five Lions – With Sir Clive Woodward In New Zealand'; if the other chapters match-up to the opener, we are in for a right good read over the coming weeks.

Please, I urge you, support The Offside Line, it can be accessed at: https://theoffsideline.com

I SEE Langilangi Haupeakui, Warriors' new American back-row forward has escaped further punishment, following his red card against Treviso on Friday – a Guinness PRO12 disciplinary panel having decided neither yellow card was justified.

If he can tweak his tackling style, so as to make it clear he is trying to wrap his arms round as he hits, he will quickly put the fear of God into opponents – he already looks awesome going forward with ball in hand.

Seeming Langi's “showreel” DVD of his biggest hits and best runs is an awesome viewing. Posibly another inspired signing by Glasgow, only time will tell.

Few Surprises In Scotland Squad

BIG Vern Cotter didn't pull any rabbits from his baseball cap when he named his squad for the Autumn Tests this morning. Indeed, I reckon I would have got at least 28 out of 30 if I had been asked to do the old “Chiefy” Cameron (the late Alex “Candid” Cameron of the Daily Record) trick and have the squad list in a sealed envelope in my desk drawer even before it was announced.

The squad is:

PROP

Allan Dell (Edinburgh Rugby) - uncapped

Alasdair Dickinson (Edinburgh Rugby) – 58 caps

Zander Fagerson (Glasgow Warriors) – 1 cap

Moray Low (Exeter Chiefs) – 34 caps

Gordon Reid (Glasgow Warriors) – 18 caps

HOOKER

Ross Ford (Edinburgh Rugby) – 99 caps

Fraser Brown (Glasgow Warriors) – 17 caps

Stuart McInally (Edinburgh Rugby) – 9 caps

SECOND-ROW

Grant Gilchrist (Edinburgh Rugby) – 12 caps

Jonny Gray (Glasgow Warriors) – 25 caps

Richie Gray (Toulouse) – 58 caps

Tim Swinson (Glasgow Warriors) – 24 caps

BACK-ROW

John Barclay (Scarlets) – 52 caps

John Hardie (Edinburgh Rugby) – 12 caps

Rob Harley (Glasgow Warriors) – 18 caps

Josh Strauss (Glasgow Warriors) – 9 caps

Hamish Watson (Edinburgh Rugby) – 2 caps

Ryan Wilson (Glasgow Warriors) – 20 caps

SCRUM-HALF

Greig Laidlaw CAPTAIN (Gloucester) – 53 caps

Henry Pyrgos (Glasgow Warriors) – 18 caps

STAND-OFF

Pete Horne (Glasgow Warriors) – 20 caps

Finn Russell (Glasgow Warriors) – 19 caps

CENTRE

Mark Bennett (Glasgow Warriors) – 16 caps

Alex Dunbar (Glasgow Warriors) – 18 caps

Huw Jones (Stormers) – 1 cap

Duncan Taylor (Saracens) – 18 caps

WING

Damien Hoyland (Edinburgh Rugby) – 2 caps

Sean Maitland (Saracens) – 23 caps

Tommy Seymour (Glasgow Warriors) – 29 caps

Tim Visser (Harlequins) – 26 caps

FULL-BACK

Stuart Hogg (Glasgow Warriors) – 45 caps

In addition Back-row Magnus Bradbury (Edinburgh Rugby), centre Nick Grigg, wing Rory Hughes and scrum-half Ali Price (Glasgow Warriors) have been invited to train with the squad.

Adam Ashe (foot), Kevin Bryce (shoulder), David Denton (hamstring), Ryan Grant (back), Willem Nel (neck), Rory Sutherland (groin) and Duncan Weir (jaw), were not considered due to injury.

As I said, it was none-too-difficult to argue with BVC's selection. I am a wee bit concerned at our lack of depth at prop. Alasdair Dickinson, if fit, would have started at one, but, with the length of time he has been out of action, he cannot possibly be match-sharp.

Gordy Reid will probably be asked to start, although, Moray Low has been playing well at loose-head for Exeter. I still feel, however, Low might get the nod at three, given Zander Fagerson is still a bit up an down in his play.

Allan Dell has had to wait a wee while for his chance. He is very mobile, and he certainly looked good against Harlequins at the week-end. But, he is still third-choice loose-head at Edinburgh – is this sufficient to be international class?

I often wonder what Ben Toolis has to do to add to his single cap. I think he is a better long-term bet than Tim Swinson. Indeed, I would also rank big Frazer McKenzie of Edinburgh ahead of Swinson, but, BVC keeps faith with the Glasgow man.

I think the selection marks the end of the line for one or two players – Sean Lamont, Pat McArthur, Blair Cowan etc. Matt Scott might yet add to his caps collection, but, Ruaridh Jacksons failure to gt regular games at Harlequins has told against him. The Edinburgh scrum-halves, Sean Kennedy and Sam Hidalgo-Clyne also come into this temporarily out of favour group.

Good to see the likes of young Bradbury, the impressive Nick Grigg and Ali Price getting a call-up. The interesting selection, I feel, will be for the Georgia game at Rugby Park, when BVC will perhaps have the chance to try a few things.

I SEE the hand of incoming Glasgow coach Dave Rennie behind the Warriors' signing of lock Brian Alainu'use until the end of the season. Certainly, he's one big lump, and Glasgow are temporarily short-handed in the boiler-house.

But, does his Samoa Under-20 cap mean Big Brian cannot be considered a “project” player? Is this purely a short-term signing? And what message does this send to the likes of Robert McAlpine, who happily filled-in for Warriors earlier this season, or to the several big, mobile and keen young locks currently strutting their stuff in the BT Premiership?

The way the likes of Celtic, Rangers, Aberdeen, Hearts and the other SPFL Premiership clubs have loaded their squads with cheap English and foreign players, to the detriment of home-grown talent, has seriously hindered Scottish football – I fear, with their recent signings policies, Glasgow and Edinburgh seem to be going down the same wrong path.

The Nigels Didn't Relish The Jocks Getting In Their Faces

I FINALLY got round to watching my recording of Saturday's Edinburgh v Harlequins European Challenge Cup match, this afternoon. The result was great, the performance the usual mix of good, bad and indifferent from Edinburgh.

I thought Harlequins were disgrace. It was the all-too-familiar case of a team from England, believing their boosters in the media and going into the game, convinced they were better than the “Sweaties” from the allegedly inferior Pro12. They had a bad case of the Corporal Jones's – they didn't like it up 'em, when Edinburgh matched 'Quins' physicality with their own.

To me, once again, the French referee, Romain Poite went into the game with the pre-determined view, the English team was the superior one, and should get all the favours. A couple of the scrum penalty calls which went to the Lond team, were clearly wrong, but, I suspect, as is often the case, Mr Poite was guessing.

Take the double yellow-carding just before the break; in ice hockey, both Jason Tovey and 'Quins' winger Charlie Walker would have been binned, but, Walker, as the aggressor, would hav got a two-plus-two “roughing” penalty, while Tovey would have got a two-minute roughing penalty, which seems fairer to me.

I also thought Poite got the other yellow cards – those flashed at Joe Marler and Grant Gilchrist – wrong. Now, I know Joe Marler is not the sharpest knife in the canteen, but, I honesty did not think he deliberately tried to upend Ben Toolis. Not the French official's finest 80 minutes.

Mind you, when you see the promise of the likes of Blair Kinghorn, Damien Hoyland, Chris Dean, the two young scrum-halves, Alan Dell, Toolis and the young flankers, Edinburgh is in a good place. However, many more such displays and the big English and French clubs will advancing on Edinburgh waving big cheques.

GLASGOW were always likely to be on the wrong end of the result at Thomond Park. In previewing the game, I suggested it would all come down to how Munster reacted to the tragic loss of Anthony Foley. As I suspected they might, they rose magnificently to the challenge of giving him the ideal send-off.

I had hoped, Munster might run out of passion at around an hour, but, by then they were so far on top, Glasgow had no chance of recovering. However, all is far from lost in that European Cup group. If Glasgow keep believing, they can still qualify. I also fancy, they will win, and win well, when Munster come to Glasgow. And, if they get anything like forward parity against Racing 92, they can win home and away.

THE SRU really needs to come up with some means of getting a third pro team up and running. When you see the quality of the young talent in the BT Premiership, there simply are not the openings in a mere two fully-professional clubs to satisfy the amount of talented kids coming through.

I was at Old Anniesland on Saturday and while neither Glasgow Hawks nor Currie will win the Premiership this season – the Alan Hansen Rule still applies. These clubs have bright futures.

But, with Ayr losing at Watsonians, Melrose are now back on top of the league, an, with Ayr suffering a spate of injuries to key men, particularly in the backs, and visiting Currie on Saturday, the 'Rose may bloom at the top, just as Autumn turns to Winter.

VERN Cotter will name his squad for the Autumn Internationals tomorrow. It will be interesting to see who is in, and who is out. This blog will comment once the announcement is made.

It Could All Be In The Mind in Munster

WARRIORS' trip to Limerick tomorrow really is an intriguing one. What happens at Thormond Park tomorrow will, to an extent, be governed by how the two sides respond to events today, and Anthony “Axel” Foley's funeral.

Foley's sudden and totally-unexpected death in Paris last weekend has cast a pall over the entire build-up to the game. Every Munster Man, and woman is still in shock at his passing. His death is, naturally, a terrible blow to his own actual family, and to the extended Munster rugby family.

The Munster team can react in one of two ways. What I expect to happen is for someone in there, one of the experienced old hands probably, to gather the squad together and make it clear: “Right lads – we win this one for Axel”. This results in an old-fashioned all guns blazing Munster performance which threatens to blow Glasgow away.

The other possibility is that Munster are still in-shock and cannot get themselves up for the game, with the result, Glasgow wins. Whichever side keeps a better grip on their emotions on what will be a very-weird day, will win, and, I hope it is Glasgow.

MEANWHILE, at Murrayfield, Edinburgh will face Harlequins in the Challenge Cup. As ever, 'Quins will travel with a big pack, but, they are still capable of playing expansive rugby, bringing the likes of Tim Visser into play.

On paper, I would expect the Londoners to win, but, they can be less than convincing on the road and, I would feel, whoever wins the battle at the breakdown, where former England captain Chris Robshaw will be their key man, will win the game.

Congratulations to Ben Toolis on his 50^th Edinburgh appearance, and, how the Murrayfield crowd will enjoy baiting one of modern rugby's prime pantomime villains – Mike Brown. The head-to-head between WP Nel and another pantomime villain, Joe Marler, also promises to be a highlight.

ROUND Nine of the BT Premiership, the half-way stage, happens tomorrow. No individual fixture leaps off the page at you, but table-topping Ayr's visit to Myreside, to tackle fifth-placed Watsonians is probably the pick of the bunch. Ayr welcome skipper Pete McCallum back onto their bench after over a month out with injury, but are without Ross Curle and Frazier Climo, which allows fit-again Danny McCluskey to pull the strings from ten.

New Zealand-raised Ruaridh Mackenzie, after his thrilling 15-minute cameo off the bench last week, gets his first start and it will be interesting to see how he goes.

Another intriguing match is that at Old Anniesland, between Glasgow Hawks and Currie, a meting which features some of the best young talent in Scotland. It is pleasing to see, as expected, Brendan McGroarty's ridiculous red card at Ayr last weekend has been rescinded and he will be in his usual place in the centre for Hawks, alongside Bobby Beattie. Hawks, however, are without skipper Tommy Spinks, Matt Fagerson moving across from the flank to replace him.

Melrose v Hawick will be the usual no quarter given Borders battle, while Heriot's entertain Stirling County and Gala are at Meggetland. Three good club games in Edinburgh, with Harlequins at Murrayfield – the capital's rugby fans are spoiled for choice tomorrow.

By the way, I have counted at least 11 Edinburgh professionals released to play in the Premiership – is this a record for one weekend? Also, I have only counted seven full-time Warriors released, I doubt if ever before, there have been more Edinburgh players than Glasgow ones strutting their stuff in the Premiership on a single Saturday.

I Can Think Of Someone More-Deserving Of A Red Card Than Brendan McGroarty

THE big incident during Saturday's BT Premiership programme was the utterly-ridiculous red-carding of Hawks' Brendan McGroarty at Ayr. I have no idea what the SRU's disciplinary panel will make of this, but, natural justice demands McGroarty is immediately free to resume playing, with the sending-off considered sufficient punishment.

The referee clearly boobed, admit this and pass on is my suggestion.

Of greater concern for anyone who has the good of Scottish rugby at heart is the ongoing saga of matches not being played – usually, but not always, because of a lack of front row players.

On of the minor players in Scottish rugby's media pack takes on the not-inconsiderable task of collating all the results. Big job, boring job, but, somebody has to do it, and, if he's doing this, he is not demonstrating his lack of ability to write cohesive match reports.

Each week he has tales of woe of matches not being played, usually for the front row issue mentioned above. This season already, we have seen National League games unplayed, while some clubs are struggling to field even a 2^nd XV in Resrve Leagues.

I had a look at the club results on the SRU website this morning. Across the entire list of leagues on the site, 14 matches were not played, for various reasons. Most of these, it has to be said, were low down the leagues, while a couple of them were 2^nd or 3^rd XVs meeting – because they play in what should be a “1^st XV league”.

But, this still equates to some 500 guys, who wanted to play rugby on a Saturday, not getting a game. If one game becomes two or three, some of the less-committed will drift away from the game. I already know, there are less guys simply playing for fun. When I joined Ayr back in 1968, they fielded five teams every week, some weeks six - 1^st XV, 2^nd XV A1 XV, A2 XV and 3^rd XV; the likes of Glasgow Accies Glasgow High School and West of Scotland fielded even more.

Today, Ayr fields a 1^st XV and a 2^nd XV, while the Millbrae XV caters for the play for fun guys. I accept, that particular club has a strong youth section, but, the drop-out rate between Under-18 and adult rugby is still considerable.

This needs seriously addressing by Murrayfield. Ayr, as a club, works hard at youth development and is in many ways an example to all. Quite how some other clubs continue to field teams is a mystery to me and a credit to their club officials.

Broadening the game's reach and increasing its depth is supposed to be one of Murrayfield's key functions. But, when you have a Director of Rugby, such as our current incumbent – The Lesser Spotted Johnston – who doesn't appear to know we have a strong club rugby scene, well, it isn't going to happen. And, if HQ will not nurture and grow the game, it will die.

Some club supporters are to be found, in the below the line comments section of The Scotsman's website, bemoaning the fact their particular club never seems to be allocated an available pro from Edinburgh or the Sevens squad on a Saturday, while overlooking the fact rugby appears to be dying in that particular toon, where once the game was king.

Help yourselves first, don't blame it all on Murrayfield, say I; while remembering the wise words of a certain coach/broadcaster, who is usually Wright in what he says: “Edinburgh will let you have a player, provided you send him back fit to hold a tackle bag on Monday morning”.

Maybe Dunky Hodge can change this attitude, but, it has to be said, Glasgow is far-more willing to release players to the clubs than Edinburgh. Mind you, I have noticed, some professionals really buy into playing for their drafted club while others, even experienced Scotland players, seem to deem it beneath them to have to play in the Premiership, and go through the motions.

You might think, 21 years after the game went professional, Murrayfield would have it sorted out and functioning properly, but, sadly, it has not.

Good Start, But, The Trick Is Keeping It Going

FOR ONCE, both Edinburgh and Glasgow have got off to good starts in Europe. Edinburgh were always expected to beat their Challenge Cup opponents from Romania, but, we have seen the capital side slip on such banana skins before.

It says much for the new attitudes Duncan Hodge is fostering at Murrayfield, that he could field such an inexperienced side and still win as handsomely as they did. This has been a good start for the capital side.

I must admit, however, I took a particular joy from watching Glasgow demolish Leicester on BT Sport. The arrogance of the London-based on-screen team, sent north to chronicle the mighty Tigers putting “the Sweaties” in their place was crying-out to be debunked, and it was, in spades.

Of course, had Matt To'omau received the red card his disgraceful tip tackle on Finn Russell deserved - and we can only hope the French citing officer did not leave his cojones in France and does his job, so he may yet receive the correct punishment – then Leicester would have had the excuse they needed. They would have squealed from the roof tops.

To be fair, Richard Cockerill, not my favourite DoR didn't try to take the gloss off Glasgow's win, well, not on Friday anyway. I await tomorrow's Leicester Mercury with interest.

Glasgow's problem now is, they have set the bar high and cannot duck under it. They have bested top English clubs at Scotstoun before, and not qualified for the knock-out stages. A wee win in Munster, which is not the near Mission Impossible it once was, plus continuing angst for a misfiring Racing 92 and who knows. The talent is certainly there at Scotstoun to go a long way this season.

Good start, now, let's keep it up.

I WAS at Millbrae on Saturday for the West Coast Derby between Ayr and Hawks, two of the three most-exciting teams in this season's BT Premiership. It was a good game, but, sadly, not as good as it might have been, thanks to a refereeing howler which was, in its own way, every bit as bad as Msr Raynal's failure to red card To'omau on Friday night.

On Saturday afternoon, Keith Allen did produce his wee red oblong, and show it to Hawks' Brendan McGroarty, for a tackle on Scott Sutherland. Now, let's leave asid the fact big “Queenie” is at least six inches taller and three stones heavier than the not-inconsiderable Brendan. Queenie went down like a sack of spuds being thrown to the ground, rather than a sack of tatties being tipped out.

I thought at the time: “penalty only, if a yellow, a soft one”. I could not believe it when the red card was produced. If Raynal was guilty of dereliction of duty, then Allen was over-zealous in the extreme. Will we ever get consistency of refereeing?

The red card ruined a game which was nicely-poised. Given the head of steam their pac had built-up I still fancy Ayr would have won, even allowing for Hawks' later, deserved yellow card for Junior Bulumakau. The Millbrae Men were the sharper outfit all game, but, how Hawks must be ruing the handling errors which cost them at least five possible tries.

And watch out for Ayr's latest New Zealand import, young Ruaridh Mackenzie, son of former Soutars and Scotland prop Gregor. He is here on a partnership agreement between Ayr and Warriors, which means he trains at Scotstoun, but plays at Millbrae. In 15 minutes on Saturday, he looked like the real deal.

I MISSED the monthly GROGS lunch at Braidholm on Wednesday, but I am told wee Rob Robertson of the Daily Mail wowed the old buffers, not least by asking if anyone in the company – which includes some of the longest-serving and most-influential committee-men in the West – had spotted “the Lesser-Spotted Johnston” outwith Murrayfield.

I have heard no better description of our National Director of Rugby, brilliant Rob.