Toony's Sense Of Adventure Is Far From Scottish Dourness

LADIES and Gentlemen – we really must have a wee discussion about Toony. Cards on the table, I love the guy to bits, but, he is in severe danger of giving us Scots a good name.

Gregor Townsend, coaches as he played, to attack and entertain

You don't, for instance, think Victor Meldrew was Scottish, simply because Richard Wilson, the actor who played him was from Greenock? No, for all his faults, Meldrew's main USP to the mainly English audience of 'One Foot In The Grave' was his Scottish dourness.

That's how they see us, dour, serious, often miserable – well if the English had had their neighbours making all the big decisions for them for over 300 years, while robbing them blind – they' be serious and miserable too. Of course the English, particularly their middle and upper classes have such a sense of entitlement – God is an Englishman and all that, nothing would get through.

Sorry about that last paragraph, that's what I get for tuning into RT. Back to Mr Townsend. It is said, Scotland's greatest export is people, and, back when he was a world-class midfield back, Toony did the world—traveller thing: playing in England, France, South Africa and Australia. His boundaries were way beyond his native Borders, or even Scotland. Like millions of Scots before him, he left his native shores and prospered.

But, unlike the vast majority of these emigrants and exiles, Townsend came home, his experiences, his viewpoints broadened, and set about doing something good for his native land and game.

We have had great football (in its broadest sense) coaches before. In Association Football, we have the Holy Trinity of Busby, Shankly and Ferguson, at the top of the game in England. Jock Stein even went South, before the post-Argentine melt-down brought him home from Leeds before he had properly started. Lesser names have done great work in England, and around the world.

 Clark Laidlaw - didn't get to be New Zaland's Sevens coach because Scotland inventd Sevens

In rugby, Ian McGeechan, Jim Greenwood and Bob McEwen did great work in coaching in England, Clark Laidlaw would not be running the All Blacks' Sevens programme if he was not a good coach, while, elsewhere around the globe, Scottish rugby coaches are working, and working well.

But, as far as I am aware, only Townsend has gone out, learned and experienced rugby elsewhere and come home. And come home with a positive coaching vibe which is far from dour, conservative and risk-aversive.

His philosophy might not be “Brazilian”, as in: “You score three tries – we will score four”, but, he has always encouraged his teams to play with width, to attack and to play with flair and pace. This is most unScottish and, long may it continue.

We may not beat the All Blacks today – they are, after all, the “Brazilians” of Rugby Union, and right now they have a team which, although in a different time and a different game, is very like the 1970 team of Pele, Jairzhino, Tostao, Gerson & Co.

Let's enjoy today's game, and, while we hope for that elusive first win, not be too-despondent if we lose. It's one more step along the way to where Toony wants him, and Scotland, to be.

BUT, enough fantasy, last night at Millbrae could not have been more typically Scottish. There was a short-lived magazine, devoted to “real fitba”, of the Junior variety: it was called – 'Mud and Glory'. That's what last night's BT Scottish Cup clash between Ayr and Currie Chieftains was all about.

The rain swept in with such ferocity, at any moment I expected to see Tam o' Shanter, mounted on Meg and chased by Cutty Sark, Auld Nick himself and the other witches and warlocks, charging across the 22 at the Monument End. It wasn't that cold, but, it was miserable.

Currie's Ben Cairns, a frustrating night of butchered chances

Yet, these two sides, two of the top units in the BT Premiership, produced as good a game as you could wish for in impossible conditions. Sure, there were mistakes – and all the way back East last night, I am sure Coach Ben Cairns and his men were regretting and replaying the many try-scoring chances they butchered. But, to be fair to Currie, they went down playing the expansive rugby they always do. OK, it wasn't a night for putting the ball wide, through the hands, but, it nearly worked.

Ayr were handicapped. Last night was made for Frazier Climo, who is still injured, but, Scott Lyle, in spite of having one or two kicks charged down, did his best to keep Currie pegged back. The home team saw skipper Pete McCallum, who only passed a late fitness test, fail to last the whole game, but, when he went off, his faithful lieutenants – Tommy Spinks, Blair Macpherson and George Stokes picked-up the slack.

Ayr MoM "Bomber" Hislop - with the head band - prepares to go to work

Lewis Young, the club's FOURTH-CHOICE scrum-half, had a debut off the bench to remember, but, the real Ayr heroes were the front five – the oft-overlooked “piano shifters”. Man of the Match Robin “Bomber” Hislop was a true chip of the old block; Rob McAlpine won his own line-out ball, and a lot of Currie's, while old warhorse Scott Sutherland came off the bench to great effect.

Lewis Anderson, had he stayed on the park longer, would have pushed Hislop for MoM honours. Basically, Ayr played the conditions better and prospered. BUT, and I am sorry there has to be a but – it may be the uncertainty of cup competitions and all that, but the thought that two of the three best club teams in Scotland should be paired together in the first round of a national competition – it is somehow wrong.

You would never see Federer v Murray or Djorkivic v Nadal in the first round of Wimbledon. In individual sports events, the protocol is, seeding takes effect, so the better players are more-likely to make it through to the sharp end.

 Callum Kerr's picture captures the terrible conditions on Friday night

Was it beyond the wit of the SRU that, when they revamped the Cup this season into a 16-club, straight knock-out format, they did not seed it: 1v16. 2V15, 3v14 etc. There would still have been unexpected outcomes, but, with the big teams kept apart, I reckon it was more sell-able.

Finally, it was good to see big Andrew McMenemy, so disgracefully dropped from the Elite band of referees and demotivated two seasons ago, back on the flags last night. He, Lloyd Linton and French exchange referee Luc Roman contributed to the entertainment. Although, Mr Roman clearly struggled with communication, he did well.