Will The Suits Wha Ken Better Ever Listen?

THE basic flaw, as I see it, of Stupid 6 and Agenda 3, lies in the fact, the guys running the show haven't a clue about Scottish Rugby, or even Scotland and Scottish Sport. Mark Dodson is English, Scott Johnson is Australian – it's their show, they ken better than the rest of us what Scottish Rugby needs. Aye Right!

 What Mark Dodson perhaps sees from the podium at the agm

I see no harm in repeating this story. It is 1992, I am leaving after the semi-final of the Scottish Junior Cup, which Glenafton Athletic has just won to set-up a final against local rivals Auchinleck Talbot, when I bump into Cumnock Juniors' secretary George Morton and Jim Yates, a haulage contractor and Cumnock's main sponsor.

“What would be your favoured outcome for the final?” I enquire. Yatesie, a team mate in the Cumnock Academy football team, since sadly taken far-too young, replied: “My favoured outcome would be an atomic bomb, dropped on Firhill just as they are about to kick-off to wipe-out both teams and most of the population of both villages.”

Not the most-sporting of responses, but, to a Scot, it makes sense. The Scots are, after all, to reference the wise Principal Skinner, addressing Grounds-keeper Willie: “A most contentious race.” Back in the day, when we weren't uniting to fight the English, Campbell was fighting Macdonald, Macdonald was getting tore into MacLeod, McGregor was going at full-pelt with Colquhoun, the Macphersons and Davidsons were having a square go further up the glen, and, if nobody else fancied a fecht, the Macdonalds from one village would set about the Macdonalds from three miles down the road. Feisty lot them Macdonalds!!

Local rivalries matter in sport - particularly in Scotland

Today, Auchinleck Talbot and Glenafton get stuck into Cumnock at football, Gala and Hawick similarly go at it on the rugby field, Ferguslie v Kelburne is no place for the faint-hearted in Paisley cricket, while for all they are neighbours, there is no love lost on the shinty field between Kingussie and Newtonmore.

So, for me, a healthy and sustainable future for Scottish rugby is more-dependant on having lots of local clubs, offering rugby to local young people, than trying to build an artificial level of rugby, in order to bridge a gap which in truth is not that great.

Stupid 6 is not being introduced to enhance Scottish Rugby, it is being put in to try to assuage the failings of Dodson, Johnson and the other suits, who are running the loss-making professional arm of the game, without being able to properly fund it.

It should be their job to find the money to run the professional game, not the job of a small number of clubs, being invited to take a financial leap in the dark, on the back of unmeasured and unsubstantiated notions from the men who are desperate for their assistance.

As for Agenda 3 - “fewer but stronger” clubs. I wonder if even Murrayfield believes this pish. We don't want or need: “fewer but stronger”, what we need is more and stronger, we should be looking at ways of bringing this about.

We need to be getting more people playing. It appears, numbers are strong at mini and midi-rugby levels, but there is a severe falling-away between Under-18 and Adult rugby, what is the SRU doing about this? Do they have plans to build on the successful efforts at curing this, introduced by some of the South-West clubs, and to roll such schemes out across Scotland?

Are they making serious efforts to build-up student rugby? Are they doing enough to build on Sevens Rugby? Now it is an Olympic sport, Sevens could, as has happened with limited overs and Twenty-20 cricket, threaten to outstrip the “full-fat” variety in public affection.

Tartan Touch - launched with a fanfare, can it be sustained?

Tartan Touch was announced, with something of a flourish, back in 2017. Figures released spoke of 1800 players participating over the initial 20 “hubs”, with some 350 of these being new recruits to the game. It got a wee boost around 6Nations time, but, now, as the regular season winds down, is surely the time for a second boost. Is this coming? We do not know.

In the first year of Tartan Touch, only four of the 12 would-be Stupid 6 franchise owners were involved – might we see more of them this year?

[that's another wee thing which bothers me. Have a look at the SRU's plans for taking the game forward via their Club Sustainability Awards. This will bring in three levels of clubs – Gold, Silver and Bronze. Given the SRU wants the Stupid 6 to be “beacons of excellence” within their Districts, surely the “lucky” six clubs will be expected to be the “Gold” standard. None of them s, at the moment, remotely close to getting there.]

One of the few things football has over rugby is its simplicity. But, below professional level, football is easy to play. You want to have a kick-about with your mates, there are plenty of specialist five-a-side centres dotted around Scotland. You can no longer run – try Walking Football.

Shouldn't some of our bigger clubs be setting themselves up to run floodlit sevens or touch leagues, or why has nobody tried Walking Rugby – it could work. There are two potential means of getting people to come along and use your club facilities -sure, there would be start-up costs, but, given the success of five-a-side centres, it could work.

 Walking football works - why not walking rugby too?

Speaking of Walking Rugby, I have actually played it. Some years ago, the Ladies of Cumnock Rugby Club challenged the Men to an end-of-season game. Henry Kissinger kindly acted as mediator as we sorted-out the rules, but, eventually, it was decided, the girls could run, the men could only walk. It worked, we had great fun, with the scrums particularly enjoyable!!!

If rugby is to flourish, we need to reverse the falling-off in numbers playing. We need to find new means of getting kids involved, and keeping older guys, who do not want to, or cannot maintain the fitness levels for real play, but, want to remain involved as more than mere spectators. We need our clubs to be generating more money. These issues are far-more important than Stupid 6.