Cheerio, Cheerio, Cheerio And At the Same Time - Hello, Hello

WHOA! Haud oan a meenit; steady the Buffs; gonnae no dae that.

Let's not get carried away by newspaper reports, suggesting Rugby Australia is about to throw the Lesser-Spotted Johnson a lifeline, by repatriating him to be their new Director of Rugby. It hasn't happened yet; my understanding is, however, it will happen, soon. But, let's not get too-excited before the rumours are confirmed.

He's going home, he's going home, Jonno is (hopefully) going home

I know, Johnson has particularly powerful personal reasons for wishing to return home, he has my sympathies in this. But, that does not hide the fact, in the eyes of the majority of the Scottish rugby community, the man has been an acquired taste – which we have not acquired.

On the one hand, therefore, when he goes, we will be mostly happy. But, there is that old Scotch saying: “Aye better the deil ye ken.” I mean, FFS, Sir Clive Woodward might fancy another crack at full-time rugby administration.

Assuming the L-S Jo does a 21^st century Chris Rea (singer not rugby player) and if Flying Home For Christmas – who will we get to replace him?

In many ways, directing Scottish Rugby is akin to herding monkeys. We look back fondly on the spells when we had Jim Telfer and Sir Ian McGeechan as our Head Coach – yet neither is as fondly remembered for their tenure as Director of Rugby. Indeed, it could be that directing Scottish Rugby is mission impossible.

A lot of people within the game appear to think: “We don't need a Director of Rugby,” in fact, TCD would, and still does argue, the L-S J is not “Director of Rugby,” he is “Director of Performance Rugby.”

Ah! 'Performance Rugby,' that part of the Scottish Rugby Union which is never mentioned other than in the vaguest of terms in the annual reports, for which there is no obvious financial plan or budget, or indeed a 'mission statement,' and for which there are known parameters, as to its scope, its purpose, or the lines of management and decision-making.

Since Bill Dickinson was appointed: “Adviser to the Captain” back in 1971, according to Wikipedia, Scotland has played 382 full internationals, under 12 different Head Coaches: Dickinson, Nairn McEwan, Jim Telfer (twice), Colin Telfer, Derrick Grant, Ian McGeechan (twice), Matt Williams, Frank Hadden, Andy Robinson, Johnson, Vern Cotter and Gregor Townsend.

Of these 382 internationals, we have won 163, a winning average of 42.7%. Johnson ranks ninth of that dozen coaches, he won 5 of 16 internationals, for a 31.25% wins percentage. However, since he was appointed Director of (Performance) Rugby, we have, under Stern Vern and Toony played 52 internationals, winning 29, or 55.8%. Couple that with the improved performances of Edinburgh and Glasgow and it would be churlish in the extreme to not credit Johnson with a part in the improvement.

So, as he departs, the international team is in good hands, the two professional teams are doing well and the Forsoc Rugby Academy, for which he also gains Brownie points is turning out some promising young players, such as Stafford McDowell, who signed his first full professional contract just this week.

The jury is still out on Super-6, which is apparently a Johnson project. However, and before you cite the Mandy Rice-Davies defence, there is genuine confidence among the six franchise winners that this will work, particularly once they get the cross-border games with the Welsh Premiership clubs up and running.

The SRU may be attempting to place S6 within the Domestic, or as it is now styled: the “Development” department at BTM, but, it is long past time they bit the bullet and admitted – S6 is a “performance” competition and, as such, should be under the “Performance Department.”

So, S6 may well go down as Johnson's farewell present. We must assume, when he goes a successor will be sought. What will that successor's role be? Will he, or she, be charged only with overseeing the current Johnson remit of “performance”, or will the scope be widened, so that we do indeed have a genuine 'Director of Rugby,' with oversight on everything from Toony and the National squad to the likes of Millbrae and Ferry Road Wanderers at the other end of the spectrum?

I suggest, it might again be a case of concentrate on the performance end of the game, since Sheila Begbie's star is still sparkling, given her overhaul of how the lower end of the game is organised. Aye, one thing about covering Scottish Rugby – it is seldom boring.

AS I seem to be forever pointing-out. I am convinced the SRU's media department is actively charged with making life awkward for we poor hacks, striving for truth and good copy at the coal face of Scottish rugby journalism.

This morning, without fanfare, they released the names of the six Head Coaches of the franchised clubs. FFS, could they not at least have tried to give this some sort of big push. S6 is happening – regardless of the criticism, so, why not stand up and shout about it, instead of slipping the news out on a dead Friday morning?

Any way, there are no real surprises. Peter Murchie, Robyn Christie and Stevie Lawrie are remaining in post at Ayr, Melrose and Watsonians respectively. It has been an open secret for some months that Ben Cairns would be moving from Currie to Stirling County, and that Graham Sheil would be moving up to Honcho at Boroughmuir.

The six Super- Head Coaches - top row l-r: Ciaran Beattie, Stevie Lawrie and Ben Cairns; Bottom row: Graham Sheil, Rob Chrystie and Peter Murchie.

The closest thing to a surprise was the appointment of Ciaran Beattie, a guid Soutar, a former Border Reiver and Scotland Sevens player as the Head Coach at Heriot's. Except, we in the press were tipped-off some weeks ago that the Heriot's appointee had a connection to Loughborough University – and once you knew that, you didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes, to deduce Beattie would be the man.

Better-known as an analyst, Beattie has, in his spell at Loughborough, where he was backs and defence coach with the First XV, which plays in England's National League 1 – the third tier in England, and as Head Coach of the Loughborough University team which plays in the top flight of the BUCS Championship, he shown he can work well in highly-competitive leagues.

Right, the teams are in place, as are the coaches – now, how about the season's programme being released. And, by the way, since Sean Lineen, in his role as Head of Academies, is now the man charged with making S6 work, will BTN please drop this stupid pretence – this is a Domestic League. It is a performance one, just admit it guys.